More on Narcissistic guilt/shame/envy
Mark
me yesterday, and it seemed insightful enough
to add here regarding this topic.
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The Green Eyed Narcissist
http://samvak.tripod.com/journal19.html
http://samvak.tripod.com/faq01.html
A Comment about Shame
The Grandiosity Gap is the difference between self-image - the way
the
narcissist perceives himself - and contravening cues from reality.
The
greater the conflict between grandiosity and reality, the bigger the
gap and the greater the narcissist's feelings of shame and guilt.
There are two varieties of shame:
Narcissistic Shame – which is the narcissist's experience of the
Grandiosity Gap (and its affective correlate). Subjectively it is
experienced as a pervasive feeling of worthlessness (the
dysfunctional
regulation of self-worth is the crux of pathological narcissism),
"invisibleness" and ridiculousness. The patient feels pathetic and
foolish, deserving of mockery and humiliation.
Narcissists adopt all kinds of defences to counter narcissistic
shame.
They develop addictive, reckless, or impulsive behaviours. They deny,
withdraw, rage, or engage in the compulsive pursuit of some kind of
(unattainable, of course) perfection. They display haughtiness and
exhibitionism and so on. All these defences are primitive and involve
splitting, projection, projective identification, and
intellectualization.
The second type of shame is Self-Related. It is a result of the gap
between the narcissist's grandiose Ego Ideal and his Self or Ego.
This
is a well-known concept of shame and it has been explored widely in
the works of Freud [1914], Reich [1960], Jacobson [1964], Kohut
[1977], Kingston [1983], Spero [1984] and Morrison [1989].
One must draw a clear distinction between guilt (or control)–related
shame and conformity-related shame.
Guilt is an "objectively" determinable philosophical entity (given
relevant knowledge regarding the society and culture in question). It
is context-dependent. It is the derivative of an underlying
assumption
by OTHERS that a Moral Agent exerts control over certain aspects of
the world. This assumed control by the agent imputes guilt to it, if
it acts in a manner incommensurate with prevailing morals, or
refrains
from acting in a manner commensurate with them.
Shame, in this case, here is an outcome of the ACTUAL occurrence of
AVOIDABLE outcomes - events which impute guilt to a Moral Agent who
acted wrongly or refrained from acting.
We must distinguish GUILT from GUILT FEELINGS, though. Guilt follows
events. Guilt feelings can precede them.
Guilt feelings (and the attaching shame) can be ANTICIPATORY. Moral
Agents assume that they control certain aspects of the world. This
makes them able to predict the outcomes of their INTENTIONS and feels
guilt and shame as a result - even if nothing happened!
Guilt Feelings are composed of a component of Fear and a component of
Anxiety. Fear is related to the external, objective, observable
consequences of actions or inaction by the Moral Agent. Anxiety has
to
do with INNER consequences. It is ego-dystonic and threatens the
identity of the Moral Agent because being Moral is an important part
of it. The internalisation of guilt feelings leads to a shame
reaction.
Thus, shame has to do with guilty feelings, not with GUILT, per se.
To
reiterate, guilt is determined by the reactions and anticipated
reactions of others to external outcomes such as avoidable waste or
preventable failure (the FEAR component). Guilty feelings are the
reactions and anticipated reactions of the Moral Agent itself to
internal outcomes (helplessness or loss of presumed control,
narcissistic injuries – the ANXIETY component).
There is also conformity-related shame. It has to do with the
narcissist's feeling of "otherness". It similarly involves a
component
of fear (of the reactions of others to one's otherness) and of
anxiety
(of the reactions of oneself to one's otherness).
Guilt-related shame is connected to self-related shame (perhaps
through a psychic construct akin to the Superego). Conformity-related
shame is more akin to narcissistic shame.
Pathological narcissism is a reaction to prolonged abuse and trauma
in
early childhood or early adolescence. The source of the abuse or
trauma is immaterial - the perpetrators could be parents, teachers,
other adults, or peers. Pampering, smothering, spoiling, and
"engulfing" the child are also forms of abuse - see these:
http://malignantselflove.tripod.com/narcissismglance.html
http://malignantselflove.tripod.com/journal42.html
http://www.mentalhelp.net/poc/view_doc.php/type/doc/id/419
Narcissistic and psychopathic parents and their children - click on
the links:
http://health.groups.yahoo.com/group/narcissisticabuse/message/4727
******
Mark LLC
Mark
DOH! Sorry Sam. I didn't realize this information came from
you until I retrieved one of my study folders today and saw
that you were my main source, and then went back to the
other group and saw it was you. This was an area of
study for me a couple of years ago.
I've since moved on to guitars, turbojets, alternative energy,
and Victory gardens. Still, this "bipolar" enigma holds both
my curiosity and speculation concerning causality, treatment,
and range of affliction.
********
Mark LLC
mmmousemaid
The personality is so complex because it travels and develops
through a long time, meeting many circumstances and adapting to
each one-- one way or another. It is also not the same in all
situations, though there is a default set of learned behaviour
patterns. It's kaleidoscopic, like a cloud formation,
like a living, changing, interactive organism-- very hard to
categorize.
But I recognize some of your insights Sam[?] in people and in myself.
We try to understand when we talk about narcissism, but it is an
"ism".
I do tend to shy away from the strictly psychoanalytic school,
because it excludes the influence of other physical or non-person
causes, e.g. alcohol or diseases or injuries to the body.
Erin