Re: Stay-at-home CF wives
SkyEyes
> Something I'm ambivalent about. I did it for 5 months when job burn
> out caused me to be a head case. It was great - the house was kept up
> to my standards, our yard was surrounded by a showcase landscape, I
> got a chance to catch up on a lot of books. But money concerns put me
> back into the job market as well as a general insecurity about my
> future with Dh being the only provider. Even if we could afford to be
> a one income household, I'd still be antsy about it, but I guess some
> couples can make it work.
>
> http://www.cnn.com/2008/LIVING/wayoflife/08/05/lw.nokids.nojob.wives/...
I did it for three years in the 90s, because my then-husband claimed
that if I worked, it only served to throw us into a higher tax
bracket.. It worked out fine until he came up with "the Golden Rule -
the one who earns the gold makes the rule."
After I left he kept calling me up to ask *why*, clueless idiot that
he was.
I'll never depend on anyone else for my income/upkeep again as long as
I live. It's just not worth risking that kind of power-play.
Brenda Nelson, A.A.#34
skyeyes nine at cox dot net
elizabeth
You got it . . .but think about it, almost all of us have a dependency
on employers, and will be subjected to power plays . .. like
harrassment, like being forced to do the work of breeders .. . and if
we object, we are eliminated. As jobs become more scarce, more abuse
of employees results.
It's all about bullying. As the world gets more and more out of
control, weinies with control issues will continue to attack anyone in
a lesser positition.
Which will result in more people "snapping" and going postal.
kfb...@aol.com
five years and haven't gotten tired of it yet. I make sure my wife
has nothing to worry about except work. She's still convinced she has
the better end of the deal. No complaints.
Kevin
Puppet_Sock
I don't get why anybody would want to. Ok, I can see being a bit
slack about it. Maybe taking a while to find a really nice job after
leaving an unpleasant situation. I can see not working full time,
passing up on overtime, being content to stay in a low pressure
situation because it's not stressful. The corporate ladder is not
my idea of a good life.
Or, I could see if you wanted to do stuff like taking college
classess you missed. Or if there was some huge project you
wanted to take on, something on the level of building a house
or if you were a budding writer and had a good novel in you.
But I really can't see being literally "stay at home." There's
only so much TV I can watch.
Socks
kfb...@aol.com
Well, I can certainly see your point. I can say with some degree of
satisfaction that although I probably watch more TV than I should,
it's mostly quality programs like Discovery, TLC, Nat Geo, History,
etc., and I have yet to waste a minute of my time with Oprah, Maury,
or assorted soap operas and the like. I've got eleven years of post-
seconday education. Althought I still enjoy learning something new
every day, I've had enough of formal education.
Somehow, there always seems to be something to do and/or something
that needs to be done. With very few exceptions, the most boring day
at home beats the best day in the office, cockpit, or courtroom...and
I had almost 30 years worth of those days. Bottom line is...I don't
have to work, so I don't. I like the freedom. I like the quiet. I'm
always looking, however, and if I ever find something that has more
pluses than minuses in my estimation, I might give it a try.
Kevin
Fountain of Filth
I haven't had a "normal" job in 5 years, save a part time
job a couple years ago that only lasted two weeks. (I have
the worst luck working for small businesses owned by
breeders!)
DH works at home, so it's a little different for us. In
addition to the housewifey stuff, I'm his
secretary/assistant. I also help bring in money by selling
parts related to his work on ebay and on a shopping cart I
set up. And yeah, the ability to have spontaneous sex is a
nice perk of staying at home. :)
BTW, if I had a "normal" job, I wouldn't have been able to
get a black belt in Tae Kwon Do in 1.5 years. I'll probably
end up teaching TKD for a living in my 40's and beyond.
It'll be a nice second career, and if I'm lucky, I'll take
over being the main breadwinner just about the time DH hits
retirement age.
~FoF
--
Living a Fuller life in a geodesic dome.
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SkyEyes
Truly. In those 3 years I was at home, I ended up reverse-engineering
the Lakota language just for something to exercise my brain.
Brenda
Puppet_Sock
[snip]
> Somehow, there always seems to be something to do and/or something
> that needs to be done. With very few exceptions, the most boring day
> at home beats the best day in the office, cockpit, or courtroom...and
> I had almost 30 years worth of those days. Bottom line is...I don't
> have to work, so I don't. I like the freedom. I like the quiet. I'm
> always looking, however, and if I ever find something that has more
> pluses than minuses in my estimation, I might give it a try.
Well, that's one I missed. Retiring before the "official" age of 65.
With 30 years work experience you should be 50-something,
right? Good on you if you've tucked away enough cutter to be
able to not work if you don't want to.
And how is it that we can do these things? CF! CF! CF!
I'm hoping that I can still hike by the point I'm ready to say
bye-bye to work. This past weekend I did 60 km. (See my
post in alt.rec.hiking.) It would be so nice to be able to do
that all summer long whenever I felt like it. And maybe do
some winter hikes as well. I even know where I want to
retire to if I can work it.
http://www.mapquest.com/maps?city=Killarney&state=ON
(You may need to zoom out once to see the park.)
There's a 75 km loop. I'd do it once a week all summer.
And maybe gear up to winter camp and do it once a
month in the winter.
Socks
Ilene Bilenky
years and years to trust another person to have that kind of power (and
by then I'd be retired).
When it comes to relationships, I just wanna break even.
When there are two incomes, there are more choices. As Kevin points out,
he stays home, not just "wives." One person can carry health insurance
for both. Maybe someone or both can work part time. Just more
flexibility and options.
Ilene B
skittish
> Something I'm ambivalent about. I did it for 5 months when job burn
> out caused me to be a head case. It was great - the house was kept up
> to my standards, our yard was surrounded by a showcase landscape, I
> got a chance to catch up on a lot of books. But money concerns put me
> back into the job market as well as a general insecurity about my
> future with Dh being the only provider. Even if we could afford to be
> a one income household, I'd still be antsy about it, but I guess some
> couples can make it work.
>
I am a stay at home CF woman. I only work 1/2 day a week and don't get
paid a wage. I get professional services in trade. We also have farm
animals and I take care of them. DH and I decided years ago that this
worked best. The income I could contribute was being eaten up in taxes.
I was working 40 hours or more a week for about $1.00 per hour after
taxes. I also had some health issues that took about 5 years to figure
out. We are both happier. When DH gets home from work all he has to do
is relax or do things he wants to do. I do the lawn, the gardening, the
cooking, make sure the bills are paid, etc. He goes to work to a job he
says he would do even if he didn't get paid because he is having so much
fun. Oh, and he started this job after retiring from his other job. Life
is good. I don't sit and watch TV all day. I watch about an hour of
news in the morning when I am reading news on line or checking email. I
have never seen a soap opera. There is just too much to do to sit and
watch TV.
Marc
> Something I'm ambivalent about. I did it for 5 months when job burn
> out caused me to be a head case. It was great - the house was kept up
> to my standards, our yard was surrounded by a showcase landscape, I
> got a chance to catch up on a lot of books. But money concerns put me
> back into the job market as well as a general insecurity about my
> future with Dh being the only provider. Even if we could afford to be
> a one income household, I'd still be antsy about it, but I guess some
> couples can make it work.
>
This seems like a bad idea for the same reasons that being a SAHM
is a bad long-term idea. Most women will at some point have their
husband's income disrupted by something, the biggest ones being
death, disability, or divorce. If you've abandoned all attempts at
succeeding in the labor market you'll may have a very difficult time
coping with such developments.
It would also be challenging to do this without becoming socially
isolated. You wouldn't even have the social outlets that SAHMs have
(play-dates with other moomies, chatting with the other soccer moms
during games) and would need to make a conscious effort to avoid
turning into a hermit.