SIL QUIT bottle life is no easier tho! =))
Elyse Young
she's weaning him off the bfg at only 2 weeks of giving life with new baby a
go ahead. I told her everything that needed to be said without being a bfg
bully... but to no avail... that's ok... it's her decision about her
life... I have already told her I would take her to buy formula at my local
warehouse club so she could buy it cheaper and save some money... so I'm
really not being a bully about this I promise.. I'm trying to be an
understanding sport even though I feel like I'VE failed. I haven't said
anything negative and I'm offering all the support I can give (based on my
limited knowledge on formula). I've already told her that once she has made
up her mind... she should never have regrets about her decision.
Now this morning... we are having a not so swell life even though we've got
the convenience of formula (when I say the word formula... I always wonder
what the heck that stuff really is... just like when they say Ivory soap is
99.97/100 % pure..... PURE WHAT?)
Anyhow... "we" need to go somewhere tonight but don't know what to do if
baby starts crying while we're out... so I told her to take some time for
herself and I would watch the baby.
Seems baby still wants to be held all the time (she thought it was because
bfg wasn't filling him up long enough and thought formula might do the trick
so normal life could resume).
I told her what you guys have been telling me... some babies like, need and
want to be held often/constantly this early on and this could go on for
weeks and months...but it's normal and you 've gotta do for the baby what
needs to be done. (2 weeks old is still very young obviously!... I'm getting
tired of saying that already)
So now I'm reading posts about moms who bf and use pacifiers... I didn't
think breastfeeders did that. The reason I hesitate with pacifiers is to me
it resembles the fact that some people just want the baby to shut up already
(I know that that is how one of my relatives is about things...)... I think
I find it offensive maybe... I don't know (please don't flame me for being
honest about my feelings)... in any case I'm also concerned about the things
I've read that leach from plastic-type products that are harmful to the
health many years down the road... rubber products may even leach
unfavorable things into the body as well...but I'm not sure. I know pvc
products leach lead and cadmium.
So... should I recommend my sil use a pacifier since she is bottle feeding
anyhow now? and if so... are there brands anyone here can recommend for
safety and satisfaction?
LMK!..............Thanks.............Elyse =))
Turner
someone out there must know????
Rose
proud mommy of William
One year old tomorrow!!!
cfi...@my-dejanews.com
"Elyse Young" <emy...@microdsi.net> wrote:
> Yepp...
>
> she's weaning him off the bfg at only 2 weeks of giving life with new baby a
> go ahead. I told her everything that needed to be said without being a bfg
> bully... but to no avail... that's ok... it's her decision about her
> life...
It's her baby's health too. That's sad :( My SIL weaned at 6 weeks b/c she
wanted her baby to "sleep through the night" It worked for about 2 nights,
and since she'd bought the huge can of SIN and didn't want it to "go to
waste...."
> .. she should never have regrets about her decision.
Unfortunately, as we become more aware of the problems associated with SIN,
there are going to be more parents who DO regret making the decision to
withhold breastmilk.
> formula (when I say the word formula... I always wonder
> what the heck that stuff really is... just like when they say Ivory soap is
> 99.97/100 % pure..... PURE WHAT?)
LOL. something akin to those mysterious "11 different herbs and spices"
>
> Seems baby still wants to be held all the time (she thought it was because
> bfg wasn't filling him up long enough and thought formula might do the trick
> so normal life could resume).
Why do people think that they can get "back to normal" once there is a baby
in their life? Life is NEVER going to be the same! Feeding it a chemically
altered version of cow's milk is not going to bring life back to teh way it
was before.
>
> I told her what you guys have been telling me... some babies like, need and
> want to be held often/constantly this early on and this could go on for
> weeks and months...but it's normal and you 've gotta do for the baby what
> needs to be done. (2 weeks old is still very young obviously!... I'm getting
> tired of saying that already)
>
> So now I'm reading posts about moms who bf and use pacifiers... I didn't
> think breastfeeders did that.
some do. I think babies need to suck a lot. One of my children had a
pacifier/soother/dummy because he drank VERY quickly and wanted something to
suck on long after his appetite was satisfied. I had no problem giving him
one, as he'd also taken EBM in a bottle and I knew he was Ok with a variety
of nipples. I think this can sometimes depend on the baby, (but there is NO
substitute for cuddling).
The reason I hesitate with pacifiers is to me
> it resembles the fact that some people just want the baby to shut up already
> (I know that that is how one of my relatives is about things...)... I think
> I find it offensive maybe... I don't know (please don't flame me for being
> honest about my feelings)...
No, I thiink that's valid. Some people use pacifier, cookie, propped bottle
as a substitute for parental attention when a cuddle, nurse, etc, would be
much nicer and is what teh abby wants. We're talking about a 2 week old
right?
in any case I'm also concerned about the things
> I've read that leach from plastic-type products that are harmful to the
> health many years down the road... rubber products may even leach
> unfavorable things into the body as well...but I'm not sure. I know pvc
> products leach lead and cadmium.
That's a REALLY good point.
>
> So... should I recommend my sil use a pacifier since she is bottle feeding
> anyhow now? and if so... are there brands anyone here can recommend for
> safety and satisfaction?
FWIW, I used MAM, but I used to have to drive across the border to the USA to
get them. i know a lot of parents swear by them but I avoided using them
after I got my first child to relinquish his. Maybe rather than recommend
them, don't. She might not even think of getting one, and who knows, her
baby might end up being cuddled more often when it cries.
Cheers,
Cath
>
> LMK!..............Thanks.............Elyse =))
>
>
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http://www.dejanews.com/rg_mkgrp.xp Create Your Own Free Member Forum
Elyse Young
those having second thoughts about bfg...that they shouldn't and that altho
there is a period of adjustment for some, especially first timers...that in
the end it's all worth the so called inconveniences.
Two days after my sil started reg. formula (still weaning baby off
breast...SO!...which do you think he still prefers at this point?)
she decides he's not doing what she expected on formula...still fussing with
it... (and from what I saw...still looking to suck at the breast; will talk
more about this in a minute).
Goes to pedi for first appt and complains to pedi...pedi recommends NOW
trying a soy formula. Now I am surprised? I'm not surprised? I don't often
regard pedis as professionals who always give the best of advise in every
situation... for me... I would like to think I only need to rely on these
professionals in a true state of emergency and at no other time. Don't you
guys think (and what would bfdrs know anyway!) that after only trying this
formula for 2 days and on a very limited basis combined with bfg that it
was too early to switch to something else??? My sil is beginning to remind
me of people who think that their poor little poochy isn't happy with it's
dog food...so they switch and switch and "make" the dog a fussy eater...or
worse yet...they begin to give it home cooked food instead (which btw...no
dog would refuse!).
SO...now the baby is on Soy...but as of yesterday... he's still not doing
anything right by my sil. Although to me... this baby has never done
anything wrong IMO.
Now she's upset because he falls asleep 1/2 way into feeding from the bottle
but wakes up about an hour or two later crying and nothing seems to console
him... I asked... "have you been giving him more to drink?"... she replies
.... "not right away"...and I asked WHY?...
Now her concern is with over feeding... but I said to her... how could you
be over feeding if you would just give him the rest of the formula that he
didn't finish before he fell asleep?..................oh!
One last thing about my sil... I think she really needs to learn that the
baby is not like her cat... you can change the litter and drop some food on
the floor and IGNORE the cat and sure... he'll be alright... but the baby is
going to need just a liiiiittle more than that.
I suggested she "sling" the baby around the house and when out if he seems
to want want want too much all the time.
I have a newborn who is a constant demander too... but I still adore him.
This weekend I tried a sling for the first time and he just about went into
a blissfull coma when he was in it... It was heaven to finally be able to go
out and about and be able to make him happy for a longer period of time as
well.
I hope the sling thing works for sil (that's if she's willing to be
bothered...I know they can get fatiguing).
Oh and one suggestion to those do-gooders who like me make offers to babysit
newborns (while at home with my own newborn and 2 1/2 y.o.)... DON'T do it
if the baby is in a period of transition like my nephew (from breast to
bottle).
Can I tell you... I had not gotten weepy or depressed (yet) from this
pregnancy after delivery and I've been feeling very good and loving about
this baby and my whole experience (I think the time of year and my
confidance has alot to do with it this time around)... but for the first
time since I delivered my own son 3 weeks ago... I cried when my nephew
turned to nurse off of me (making the motions that a bfd baby does). I
felt so bad giving this baby a bottle... I had never given a newborn a
bottle before.. the formula was so "Yucky" and foreign to me and my poor
nephew was doing as any good bfdg baby does... he was turning in towards my
breast to nurse. Also watching him do the same types of mannerisms as my
own newborn does when hungry and making the same kinda sounds really got to
me... it's like this baby wanted what we all know is best and he was doing
everything right and the signs he was giving were all very clear (these are
things we pray for to guide us as to what to do for baby...who could ask for
more?)... and I couldn't give it to him or do a damn thing about it. At one
point I contemplated nursing him myself...but for a couple of good
reasons... this remained only a thought.
When my sil returned from her outing... I had to tell her that altho I
didn't want to burden her mind with my own opinions or come down on her
while she was feeling blue already... I did tell her how upset I was with
the fact that she was giving all of this up because of her own problems some
of which I felt were pure selfishness. I told her that I would hope she'd
give it one more chance (bfg) because there's so much good for both in it.
She did nurse him while we hung out for 2 hours and seemed to be happier to
have someone to talk too...but then the next day was when she went to the
pedis office and that's when I found out she switched to soy and was still
giving up on bfg.
UGH!
That's pretty much it for me as far as my concerns with convincing this
girl... I'm sure by now she's dried up or near that.
Oh well... now onto paying 100% attention to my own two kids.
Thanks for listening!................Elyse
Elyse Young wrote in message <6qa4id$bkk$1...@supernews.com>...
>Yepp...
>
>she's weaning him off the bfg at only 2 weeks of giving life with new baby
a
>go ahead. I told her everything that needed to be said without being a bfg
>bully... but to no avail... that's ok... it's her decision about her
>life... I have already told her I would take her to buy formula at my local
>warehouse club so she could buy it cheaper and save some money... so I'm
>really not being a bully about this I promise.. I'm trying to be an
>understanding sport even though I feel like I'VE failed. I haven't said
>anything negative and I'm offering all the support I can give (based on my
>limited knowledge on formula). I've already told her that once she has
made
>up her mind... she should never have regrets about her decision.
>
>Now this morning... we are having a not so swell life even though we've got
>the convenience of formula (when I say the word formula... I always wonder
>what the heck that stuff really is... just like when they say Ivory soap is
>99.97/100 % pure..... PURE WHAT?)
>
>Anyhow... "we" need to go somewhere tonight but don't know what to do if
>baby starts crying while we're out... so I told her to take some time for
>herself and I would watch the baby.
>
>Seems baby still wants to be held all the time (she thought it was because
>bfg wasn't filling him up long enough and thought formula might do the
trick
>so normal life could resume).
>
>I told her what you guys have been telling me... some babies like, need and
>want to be held often/constantly this early on and this could go on for
>weeks and months...but it's normal and you 've gotta do for the baby what
>needs to be done. (2 weeks old is still very young obviously!... I'm
getting
>tired of saying that already)
>
>So now I'm reading posts about moms who bf and use pacifiers... I didn't
>think breastfeeders did that. The reason I hesitate with pacifiers is to
me
>it resembles the fact that some people just want the baby to shut up
already
>(I know that that is how one of my relatives is about things...)... I think
>I find it offensive maybe... I don't know (please don't flame me for being
>honest about my feelings)... in any case I'm also concerned about the
things
>I've read that leach from plastic-type products that are harmful to the
>health many years down the road... rubber products may even leach
>unfavorable things into the body as well...but I'm not sure. I know pvc
>products leach lead and cadmium.
>
>So... should I recommend my sil use a pacifier since she is bottle feeding
>anyhow now? and if so... are there brands anyone here can recommend for
>safety and satisfaction?
>
>LMK!..............Thanks.............Elyse =))
>
>
David and Friederike Keating
through the motions of asking for the breast - makes tears come to my
eyes. How can your SIL deny her tiny baby what he clearly wants? How
sad! Next she will be ferberizing him at 2 months so she can get a good
night's sleep!
You seem to have done enough, though. I think you are absolutely right
in your conclusion that it is time to worry about your own immediate
family.
Friederike
Jessica or Mitch
the sling the other day and I saw a young mom with a baby in a stroller
(actually some weird thing that looked more like a wagon than a stroller).
The baby didn't look like it was a week old and she was trying to feed it a
bottle without taking it out of the wagon. The baby was screaming it's head
off. I saw them again a few minutes later and the mom had taken the baby
out of the wagon and was holding it, still trying to give it the bottle.
It was still screaming, and the mom looked really concerned and confused.
I thought, "That baby wants to nurse," and it made me sad for the baby
*and* the mom, who I thought probably didn't even recognize the baby's
indications... rooting and crying... it was so sad. I wanted to say
something encouraging to her, because she looked so frustrated, but what
could I say? It looks like your baby wants to nurse; too bad??? I would
never have the nerve to mention relactation to some stranger at the mall,
especially since I don't know her situation; she could have tried to bf and
wasn't able to. :-( I thought of telling her some of the things I did to
settle Mia in the early days, but since most of them involved nursing...
well, you see where this is going. I'm not generally one to scrutinize
mall parents' practises, but this case really drew my attention.
Jessica
Elyse Young
I guess the hardest part was watching my nephew go through this rough time
that his mother was putting him through for her own convenience (and I love
my sil... we get along perfect and she really is a decent person).. I may
have added my own personal thoughts about my brother (whose child this is)
who was adopted when I was 3. I always felt sad that he never had his own
mom or his own family and the family we both eventually wound up in after my
mom died was less than adequate. I have always wanted to make it up to him
some how... and so maybe... I've secretly thought that could be done if his
baby (son) would be raised to have EVERYTHING I equate with having the best
and making up for what his father (my brother) never had.
Please... I hope noone gets me wrong... I know bfg is not for everyone but
with respect to convenience and having my own life (whether I like what my
responsibilities are or not)... those 2 things come second to doing what's
best for the baby I brought into this world. In order to feel good about
being a mom... I need to know deep down inside that I am in fact doing all I
can do to give my children the best...this is why bfg is one of those
"musts" for me personally. I've gotta remained focus on taking care of
what's important for now no matter how inconvenient it can be... I know with
things like newborns and bfg that things eventually get more easier and
routine with me... I just wish I could have convinced my sil of that.
Thanks for your support.
ps... I don't doubt that bottle fed babies are loved just as much as bfd
babies are (my gfriend was thinking that maybe that's why I was so
disappointed about what my sil was doing...that wasn't it!) ... it's just
that when you are able to give your child such a priceless gift from your
body... I cannot imagine deciding to do otherwise. and being helpless when
my nephew was clearly looking for the breast just totally blew me away... it
really showed me how I have no control over his destiny...no matter how blue
in the face I get trying to talk to sil about the good things she could be
doing.
Oh well!
That's just my opinion I guess =))..................Elyse
David and Friederike Keating wrote in message
<35CFA599...@nospamsprintmail.com>...
Charlotte Millington
: It made me sad to read that, too. :-( DH and I took Mia to the mall in
: the sling the other day and I saw a young mom with a baby in a stroller
: (actually some weird thing that looked more like a wagon than a stroller).
: The baby didn't look like it was a week old and she was trying to feed it a
: bottle without taking it out of the wagon. The baby was screaming it's head
: off. I saw them again a few minutes later and the mom had taken the baby
: out of the wagon and was holding it, still trying to give it the bottle.
: It was still screaming, and the mom looked really concerned and confused.
: I thought, "That baby wants to nurse," and it made me sad for the baby
: *and* the mom, who I thought probably didn't even recognize the baby's
: indications... rooting and crying... it was so sad. I wanted to say
: something encouraging to her, because she looked so frustrated, but what
: could I say? It looks like your baby wants to nurse; too bad??? I would
: never have the nerve to mention relactation to some stranger at the mall,
: especially since I don't know her situation; she could have tried to bf and
: wasn't able to. :-( I thought of telling her some of the things I did to
: settle Mia in the early days, but since most of them involved nursing...
: well, you see where this is going. I'm not generally one to scrutinize
: mall parents' practises, but this case really drew my attention.
: Jessica
I have to laugh, as i read your post.
When I see babies corked with a bottle, trying to root, I have the urge to
offer to feed the baby myself. I *don't* (who knows what these people
would think!), but the thought still passes over my mind.
-Charlotte
: David and Friederike Keating wrote:
: > Your post makes me so sad. The story about how your nephew was going
: > through the motions of asking for the breast - makes tears come to my
: > eyes. How can your SIL deny her tiny baby what he clearly wants? How
: > sad! Next she will be ferberizing him at 2 months so she can get a good
: > night's sleep!
: > You seem to have done enough, though. I think you are absolutely right
: > in your conclusion that it is time to worry about your own immediate
: > family.
: > Friederike
--
AP Mum
>bottle without taking it out of the wagon. The baby was screaming it's head
>off. I saw them again a few minutes later and the mom had taken the baby
>out of the wagon and was holding it, still trying to give it the bottle.
>It was still screaming, and the mom looked really concerned and confused.
>I thought, "That baby wants to nurse," and it made me sad for the baby
>*and* the mom, who I thought probably didn't even recognize the baby's
>indications... rooting and crying... it was so sad. I wanted to say
>something encouraging to her, because she looked so frustrated, but what
>could I say? It looks like your baby wants to nurse; too bad??? I would
>never have the nerve to mention relactation to some stranger at the mall,
>especially since I don't know her situation; she could have tried to bf and
>wasn't able to.
Yet another possibility is that this was a bfing mother who didn't feel
comfortable nursing in public.
Nancy
kateha...@my-dejanews.com
"AP Mum" <ap...@home.com> wrote:I wanted to say
> >something encouraging to her, because she looked so frustrated, but what
> >could I say? It looks like your baby wants to nurse; too bad??? I would
> >never have the nerve to mention relactation to some stranger at the mall,
> >especially since I don't know her situation; she could have tried to bf and
> >wasn't able to.
>
> Yet another possibility is that this was a bfing mother who didn't feel
> comfortable nursing in public.
>
> Nancy
I ran into that the other week and talked to the mom who thought it "wasn't
right" to bf in public. Two mo old baby wouldn't take the bottle, cried for
45 minutes before she went to the bathroom to nurse him. Poor guy. I gave
her my card, names of nursing clothing manufacturers, told her it was ok.....
with practice you can learn to "read" people and figure out how to talk to
them about sensitive issues; but when you have the time and sensitivity. I
don't always, but when I do.... well, I hope I help sometimes.
Kate, Breastfeeding Mammal :-)
http://www.cs.colorado.edu/~kolina/