High functioning, low morale

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Bearcub

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Feb 14, 2020, 7:44:34 AM2/14/20
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I'm newly diagnosed and in my late twenties, male. The signs were never
spotted because my family moved often and so no school ever had time to
recognise my poor development.

Now as an adult I'm suddenly finding that there's a reason for all the
struggles I've had, the sudden shutdown experiences that scared myself
and my husband in the past. It explains why after just a few hours in an
open plan office I become disproportionately stressed.

I'm finding the biggest impediment now as an adult after leaving
university is something like low morale to live. I want to do well but I
find myself unable to turn off my work brain when I leave work, all I
can think about is how many free hours I have until I'm required to put
on the mask again.

I experienced this during school and university obviously, but I had the
comofort of term, winter and summer breaks to reset. As a working adult
free time is an absolute luxury, I'm gracious for the 25 days I have
available throughout the year but I can't help but feel bitter for the
~90 days I had just 2 years ago when I was still a student.

Has anyone else experienced this incapability to come to terms with a
restricted set of free days? It's been 2 years and I'm still staving off
depression by forcing myself not to think about it too much.
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