Survey (Dating / Relationships etc.)
Dolphinius
newsgroup varies so I am interested to ask:
1. Are you NT / autistic / other?
2. What has been your dating / relationship experience in the last 12
months?
3. If you have not had (or feel you have not had enough) encounters
with the opposite sex (or the same sex if you are homosexual) over the
past 12 months and would have liked to have had such encounters then
what has prevented you?
Dolphinius
(Male, mid-thirties, UK, self-diagnosed AS)
Bob Badour
> I know we have discussed this before, but the membership of this
> newsgroup varies so I am interested to ask:
>
> 1. Are you NT / autistic / other?
Autistic. (aspie not that it makes a difference)
> 2. What has been your dating / relationship experience in the last 12
> months?
None.
> 3. If you have not had (or feel you have not had enough) encounters
> with the opposite sex (or the same sex if you are homosexual) over the
> past 12 months and would have liked to have had such encounters then
> what has prevented you?
Not really applicable.
Catriona R
>I know we have discussed this before, but the membership of this
>newsgroup varies so I am interested to ask:
>
>1. Are you NT / autistic / other?
Aspergers
>2. What has been your dating / relationship experience in the last 12
>months?
Met a cool guy in WoW about a year ago, became great friends, came to
realise we both wanted to make it a bit more so met up in RL, and it
did indeed become more. Been carrying on a longdistance relationship
since then, 400 miles distance but meeting up every 2-3 weeks for a
weekend together, going great currently.
>3. If you have not had (or feel you have not had enough) encounters
>with the opposite sex (or the same sex if you are homosexual) over the
>past 12 months and would have liked to have had such encounters then
>what has prevented you?
Think I have had enough this year, but only through the good luck of
meeting the right kind of person. In general I don't encounter likely
partners very easily, being not at all social I only meet people
online and even there there's not that many who would be likely to
suit me. Feeling pretty lucky to have found what seems to be the right
person for me, since it took a lot of coincidences for us to even meet
at all.
Dolphinius
> I know we have discussed this before, but the membership of this
> newsgroup varies so I am interested to ask:
Here are my answers.
> 1. Are you NT / autistic / other?
Autistic of some form, probably AS.
> 2. What has been your dating / relationship experience in the last 12 months?
Nothing. I have been a member of an online dating site throughout that
time, but virtually nothing has happened. Two women (who I would
regard as being genuinely potentially interested in my personality as
I portrayed it) contacted me. Both seemed quite nice in some ways, but
in neither case did I feel motivated to progress past an e-mail
conversation (in one case I didn't like an explicit sexual reference
they posted on their profile and in the other I didn't feel we had
enough to talk about). A few other women from foreign countries
contacted me, but in most cases I thought they had ulterior motives
(looking to move to the UK) and none seemed particularly suitable. I
pro-actively contacted only three women. One sent a polite reply and
didn't respond to my second e-mail. The other two didn't reply at all.
I have had no real life encounters whatsoever.
> 3. If you have not had (or feel you have not had enough) encounters
> with the opposite sex (or the same sex if you are homosexual) over the
> past 12 months and would have liked to have had such encounters then
> what has prevented you?
As I get older I think I understand more about what I should be doing,
but I can't seem to bring myself to go out and try to do it. I know I
need some failures before I will have any successes.
Women of my age just don't seem to participate in the things I do, or
at least those who do are all already in relationships they are happy
with.
As I have written before, I don't feel I really need a relationship,
but, that said, I feel the right relationship could be mutually
beneficial / enjoyable. Because of the former I don't have a huge
drive to find one. However, that means there are times when I feel I
would like the chance to meet women and I haven't any access at short
notice to anything I can even attempt to do about it. That can be
slightly frustrating.
I also know that most women don't find me superficially attractive
most of the time, but women who get to know me seem to like me, at
least as a friend, so I know I am not a monster! :-)
Canth
<dolph...@fsmail.net> wrote:
>I know we have discussed this before, but the membership of this
>newsgroup varies so I am interested to ask:
>
>1. Are you NT / autistic / other?
>
AS
>2. What has been your dating / relationship experience in the last 12
>months?
>
Happily married
>3. If you have not had (or feel you have not had enough) encounters
>with the opposite sex (or the same sex if you are homosexual) over the
>past 12 months and would have liked to have had such encounters then
>what has prevented you?
>
Male Menopause
>Dolphinius
>(Male, mid-thirties, UK, self-diagnosed AS)
AS! ds++:+++ a++ c+++ p++ t+ f-- S+ p+ e++ h++ r++ n++ i+ P+ m++ M
Gareeth
> I know we have discussed this before, but the membership of this
> newsgroup varies so I am interested to ask:
>
> 1. Are you NT / autistic / other?
Autistic
>
> 2. What has been your dating / relationship experience in the last 12
> months?
None.
>
> 3. If you have not had (or feel you have not had enough) encounters
> with the opposite sex (or the same sex if you are homosexual) over the
> past 12 months and would have liked to have had such encounters then
> what has prevented you?
Not sure I want to. I think it is all too complicated for me.
On the phone with my mother yesterday she mentioned she thought someone who
had talked to me on the bus was interested in me but that I hadn't picked up
on that but she had. I told her well I would always miss those signals so
she should just accept that I would be alone forever.
Gareeth
buzzard
> I know we have discussed this before, but the membership of this
> newsgroup varies so I am interested to ask:
>
> 1. Are you NT / autistic / other?
Self-diagnosed as "probably asp"
> 2. What has been your dating / relationship experience in the last 12
> months?
Zilch.
I had a gf 8 years ago, but she left for multiple reasons.
> 3. If you have not had (or feel you have not had enough) encounters
> with the opposite sex (or the same sex if you are homosexual) over the
> past 12 months and would have liked to have had such encounters then
> what has prevented you?
Lack of confidence, lack of social skills...
My experience in society, which you've undoubtedly already
read my rants on, has been quite painful.
For me, socializing is like a game where every move,
any move, or no move at all, leads to complete and utter
annihilation. At any given gathering of random humans,
I have nothing to talk about that wouldn't either bore others
to tears, or leave them wondering "WTF planet are YOU from?"
So I listen. But what I hear makes little sense to me,
and seems to bear no relevance to anything. And you can't
*JUST* listen. It'd be like they were talking to a wall.
So I end up completely isolated, knowing no one (except family),
with no chance whatsoever to build any social skills at all
(assuming I'd be able to even if I did have the chance)
--
the Vulture of the Damned
apple
> I know we have discussed this before, but the membership of this
> newsgroup varies so I am interested to ask:
>
> 1. Are you NT / autistic / other?
Not officially dx'ed. Somewhere "on the spectrum," I think, from
writing with & reading things written by autistic people for a while now
(since the 90's). Actually have gotten a little tired of worrying about
it, though I may still get assessed some day to put the question to
rest. I'm on disability for other reasons, and have other help, so as
far as survival, I don't need an autism dx.
> 2. What has been your dating / relationship experience in the last 12
> months?
Zipola.
> 3. If you have not had (or feel you have not had enough) encounters
> with the opposite sex (or the same sex if you are homosexual) over the
> past 12 months and would have liked to have had such encounters then
> what has prevented you?
Basically not knowing how, and being really bad at initiating. All the
standard rules also seem contrary my being to being able to function in
that way. And I'm too old and tired to have the energy to put on some
sophisticated exhausting act. Also it's not as if it's going to be just
anybody who is likely to be able to put up with me. Another 40 y.o.
beginner is going to be hard to find, I think.
Not leaving the house (much) probably also has a deleterious effect.
> Dolphinius
> (Male, mid-thirties, UK, self-diagnosed AS)
-apple
Stephen Wilson
"Dolphinius" <dolph...@fsmail.net> wrote in message
news:90235271-f06a-401d...@c34g2000yqn.googlegroups.com...
>I know we have discussed this before, but the membership of this
> newsgroup varies so I am interested to ask:
>
> 1. Are you NT / autistic / other?
Never gone for an official diagnosis. Doctors have usually obsessed more
about my heart condition than anything else. Although was referred for
counselling when I was at school, due to inability to socialise, etc. Almost
certainly AS.
> 2. What has been your dating / relationship experience in the last 12
> months?
Dating: zero. Haven't dated anyone in the last 16 or so years.
> 3. If you have not had (or feel you have not had enough) encounters
> with the opposite sex (or the same sex if you are homosexual) over the
> past 12 months and would have liked to have had such encounters then
> what has prevented you?
Would I have liked? I don't know! I might have, but equally it could have
ended in tears. Perhaps I'm best off where I am.
What has prevented me? I guess the main things are lack of self confidence,
coupled with complete inability to read signals.
Dolphinius
> Not sure I want to. I think it is all too complicated for me.
>
> On the phone with my mother yesterday she mentioned she thought someone who
> had talked to me on the bus was interested in me but that I hadn't picked up
> on that but she had. I told her well I would always miss those signals so
> she should just accept that I would be alone forever.
Maybe you should arrange for her to give you a signal next time she
spots something like that?
(Of course, if you do it will probably never happen!)
Gareeth
>
> Maybe you should arrange for her to give you a signal next time she
> spots something like that?
>
> (Of course, if you do it will probably never happen!)
>
few days because of my knee surgery.
Gareeth
Cris Galletly
Almost certainly an Aspie.
>2. What has been your dating / relationship experience in the last 12
>months?
Depressing. Thought I might have met someone, but they turned out not to
be accepting of my transsexuality (the Aspie bit didn't bother them too
much). Well, they seemed able to accept it *in me* but were so condemnatory
of it in others that I don't think they were even willing to grok it in me :-/
>3. If you have not had (or feel you have not had enough) encounters
>with the opposite sex (or the same sex if you are homosexual) over the
>past 12 months and would have liked to have had such encounters then
>what has prevented you?
Partly lack of self-esteem making me feel that keeping away from people
would be for the best. Partly not meeting anyone who made me feel safe
enough properly to be myself.
--
+ Cris Galletly <gall...@chiark.greenend.org.uk> +
Zed
> I know we have discussed this before, but the membership of this
> newsgroup varies so I am interested to ask:
>
> 1. Are you NT / autistic / other?
Somewhere between autistic and other.
> 2. What has been your dating / relationship experience in the last 12
> months?
No.
> 3. If you have not had (or feel you have not had enough) encounters
> with the opposite sex (or the same sex if you are homosexual) over the
> past 12 months and would have liked to have had such encounters then
> what has prevented you?
It's just not my bag. If it were I'd be with someone.
When I was an adolescent I did observe the whole significant other
relationship seemed to consist mainly of pain, based on most love
songs. I never get lonely. I crave solitude as a matter of fact. There
are too many times I've witnessed scuffles between couples, where I've
taken great satisfaction that I'm single. However, if the right woman
came along and we were both determined to have a romantic
relationship, then I'd be in one.
Zed
> On the phone with my mother yesterday she mentioned she thought someone who
> had talked to me on the bus was interested in me but that I hadn't picked up
> on that but she had. I told her well I would always miss those signals so
> she should just accept that I would be alone forever.
These days I tend to catch onto some of the signals in retrospect, way
after it's too late. I know I've unintentionally snubbed a lot of
women. Why can't people just come out and say "I find you attractive
and want to date you"? Sorry I missed the tilt of the head and two
blinks or whatever conveying that message.
buzzard
plans for the data? (such as summarizing, and
possibly some analysis of what it means?)
--
Big Bird
earthpots
> I know we have discussed this before, but the membership of this
> newsgroup varies so I am interested to ask:
>
> 1. Are you NT / autistic / other?
>
Aspergers
> 2. What has been your dating / relationship experience in the last 12
> months?
>
12 months???? ARE YOU KIDDING MEEEEEE???? Sorry for the shouting, it's been
more like 12 years x 2 (24 years) for me. I am not looking, but doesn't mean
it won't happen.
> 3. If you have not had (or feel you have not had enough) encounters
> with the opposite sex (or the same sex if you are homosexual) over the
> past 12 months and would have liked to have had such encounters then
> what has prevented you?
>
Physical disability is factor, I am severely mobility impaired, plus have a
chronic intectable pain condition. Disinterest in social encounters would be
secondary.
> Dolphinius
> (Male, mid-thirties, UK, self-diagnosed AS)
--
Carol
Contessa of Consternation
Known to leave foes discombobulated
Autistic Spectrum Code v.1.0
AS? d- s--:+ a+ c+ p+ t-- f S+ p@- e+ h- r- n+(-) i+ P m-() M
http://www32.brinkster.com/ascdecode/
"I have run rings around you logically". Monty Python
Email at clay_p...@nospam.com, removing the 'nospam' and replacing
with 'msn'.
earthpots
> Dolphinius wrote:
>> I know we have discussed this before, but the membership of this
>> newsgroup varies so I am interested to ask:
>>
>> 1. Are you NT / autistic / other?
>>
>
> Aspergers
>
>
>> 2. What has been your dating / relationship experience in the last 12
>> months?
>>
>
> 12 months???? ARE YOU KIDDING MEEEEEE???? Sorry for the shouting,
> it's been more like 12 years x 2 (24 years) for me. I am not looking,
> but doesn't mean it won't happen.
>
>
>> 3. If you have not had (or feel you have not had enough) encounters
>> with the opposite sex (or the same sex if you are homosexual) over
>> the past 12 months and would have liked to have had such encounters
>> then what has prevented you?
>>
>
> Physical disability is factor, I am severely mobility impaired, plus
> have a chronic intectable pain condition. Disinterest in social
> encounters would be secondary.
>
That should be "intractable". Arthritis is causing me to make numerous
typos...
Paul McCock
A brief summary:-
You seem to be a bunch of socially inept 'tards, who just 'ain't'
getting none.
There seem to be a few birds in here, so why not just arrange a
'alt.support.autism' meet-up, and see what happens?
At least you understand each other.
Bye
Stephen Wilson
"Paul McCock" <ivorti...@googlemail.com> wrote in message
news:d6aeab07-f6fb-405e...@g23g2000vbr.googlegroups.com...
On Nov 23, 12:58 am, buzzard <u...@domain.invalid.net> wrote:
>> Once all the responses are in, are there
>> plans for the data? (such as summarizing, and
>> possibly some analysis of what it means?)
>>
>> --
>> Big Bird
>
>A brief summary:-
>
>You seem to be a bunch of socially inept 'tards, who just 'ain't'
>getting none.
Hey, it's our resident comedian. I'm afraid the act's getting a bit stale.
You need to get some new material PDQ...
Dolphinius
I am a bit busy, so will probably not be doing so myself. (However,
thank you everyone who has answered.)
Anyone else?
Raving
You sound *desperately* ADHD to me.
Been there, living that reality for myself.
Take care,
Raving