Raving Loonie's Lament
Raving Loonie
I feel useless and worthless.
I feel the accumulative consequence of repeated attempts and failures.
It is as if all that I 'know' now is futile ineffectualness.
With each attempt, I try harder and harder ...
With each attempt, I learn ...
With each attempt, I become more extreme ...
With each attempt, I set more strident goals ...
Am I trolling for sympathy?
Am I crying out to be 'accepted'?
It's irrelevent. Compadres, I don't give a 'fuck'
Can anyone help me?
maybe ...
I don't expect that it will happen.
I am so utterly useless. I have ADD.
I used to be eternally 'optomistic'. Now I see myself as being so
'self-defeatist'. My situation seems so impossible ... ...
A 'suicide' song?
Maybe ... Although, I would rather NOT!
Why has it come down to this?
... Simpe, i 'tried' too hard.
and 'failed' too often ...
Solution ~~~~~~> quit trying
'Twittering One' looks towards Mark and Nancy for 'answers'. ... the
2 participans of this NG who don't have ADD (???)
Thw two 'effective' participants in this NG, perhaps ?
R - O - T - F - L - M - A - O
Sure thing, Twittering One ...
Go for it!
As for myself?
I'm O.K. Jack
are you?
Now, I go and get 'drunk' ~~~~> I wish to forget about all of the
bullshit. IMHO, 'Sadness' sucks big-time. .... Thus, "nighty, night".
the Raving Loonie
Twittering One
Go for it!
As for myself?
I'm O.K. Jack
are you?
Now, I go and get 'drunk' ~~~~> I wish to forget about all of the
bullshit. IMHO, 'Sadness' sucks big-time. .... Thus, "nighty, night".
~ Raving Loonie
"R - O - T - F - L - M - A - O
???
Lingo?
I do not know.
Raving ~
Save me the waltz ..."
~ Twittering
Raving Loonie
For the life of me, I can't imagine what I was 'thinking' when in
http://tinyurl.com/4tejd I wrote -
"Given 'em Hell, patti! :>
... and when that doesn't work, fogg, then 'confuse' 'em ;?) "
Ever mystical and 'ambivalent' _g of 'Hawaii' followed this up with a
response of -
"And....Go to Hell Duke! ". ... I won't bother to <interpret> his
intended meaning by "it". The reference escapes "me" ...
... As I said, for the life of me, I can't imagine what came over me
to 'say' <such> a thing! ....
Oh, wait a minute, I do remember!
You are a 'hard-ass', Fogg ...
You don't put up with the "B.S ...
You stand up for yourself ... You won't let the 'B.S.' from those that
you care for get in the way of <doing your job>
Without doubt, you will 'stand' up for THOSE with those whom you are
charged to care .. as much if not more than you stand up for yourself.
You will fight for your patients to the very end against all the bull
shit. ... You will not allow your patients grumblings to get the
better of you.
You remind me of the 'best' and most 'effective' nurses that I have
encountered in my limited experience of <such> ...
Way to go Fogg!
A brilliant 'decision' on your 'part' ....
Go forward. ... never look back. ... you have no reason to doubt
yourself.
Raving
Twittering One
... it's all in the apathy"
"Tones implausible migrate. This is no phantom slide
Into proximity, but a shadow whose brevity
Is deployed as the capacity to linger."
~ Ann Lauterbach,
>From "Still Life with Apricots"
>From "Before Recollection"
"Rooms bleed, seem to leave me,
Migrate to other shores, but my wounds still bleed,
Silence my need.
But O, I see. This is no phantom haunting me.
Just my Magic Lantern slide ~
Through which I see The Shimmering Sea.
My lens, proximal, or distal,
Do I focus toward? Or, my telescope,
Broke? Your hand, your finger
Pointing ~ Do I study your index finger, or
Your capacious capacity for pointing, or
Your object, your choice, your point you point me
Toward to see, if me, lost, moping
Under a tree, for I lost my hope, hoping.
Or, this ~ A still life,
The instilled moment before recollection?
But O, vanitas?
Where, The Apricots?"
~ Twittering
Twittering One
I feel the accumulative consequence of repeated attempts and failures.
It is as if all that I 'know' now is futile ineffectualness."
"Have you tried lunch, macaroni and cheese,
At Woolworths? Or perhaps
A second consult ~ Another cohort?
Try Ms.
Fran Lebowitz's 'Metropolitan Life?
O, Puhhhh Leeeeeeze, as
John used to say. Who's sneeze spatters
Here? Who's Achoooo!"
~ Folly
"With each attempt, I try harder and harder ...
With each attempt, I learn ...
With each attempt, I become more extreme ...
With each attempt, I set more strident goals ..."
~ Raving
"With each attempt,
A temptation's second chance, or the last?
Your strident goals, or just project ~
Your ethnographic film still? Or just ~ Visit
The Museum of Natural History?"
~ Twittering
"The Mummies?
What room? What way? What more, here,
Should we see?"
~ Folly
Twittering One
Am I crying out to be 'accepted'?
It's irrelevent.
Compadres, I don't give a 'fuck'"
~ Raving
"Does your Fuck
Fly?"
~ Folly
"Or, Folly, Raving?
My Acoustical Guide ~ Stuck! Keeps repeating!
"Moving the Running
Point."
~ Folly
"O?
But now ~ It's
Going di.là.da .di.là.da .di.là.da .di.là.da .di.là.da .di.là.da
.di.là.da .di.là.da ."
~ Twittering
"... one person to an other,
Circulation,
To move ..,"
~ The Museum Guard
"But the object label says ~ To work,
The Art, true. Afterward, just lurk
Around in the dark,
Until your lark barks."
~ Twittering
"My Acoustical Guides says ~
'Follow along The Ring to The Spiral of Too.
A continuous movement ahead,
Marks the object's date,
Dated by the level of the water's edge."
~ Folly
"Can anyone help me?
Maybe ...
I don't expect that it will happen."
~ Raving
"Sure, Raving ~ What's
The matter?"
~ Folly
"I am so utterly useless. I have ADD.
I used to be eternally 'optomistic'.
Now I see myself as being so
'self-defeatist'. My situation seems so impossible ... ..."
~ Raving
"Optometry?
Or ophthalmologist? Can you see,
Or your Acoustical Guide, now broken?"
~ Twittering
Twittering One
Maybe ... Although, I would rather NOT!"
"Understood!
Me neither. Come on over ~ To
Morning Wood!
Hang out to
Dry with me and Folly,
And the Ilk of Too. Soon ~ Leonardo, too!"
~ Twittering
"Why has it come down to this?
... Simpe, i 'tried' too hard.
and 'failed' too often ...
Solution ~~~~~~> quit trying"
~ Raving
"Solution?
Or photographic fixer? Black and white
Still life, or Technicolor?
Or now ~ All's digital? Broadband, me?
O know! Dial ~ up. Yes,
Simple folk, we. But have you visited The Museum
Of Folk Art? Tres kewl! Perhaps another
Day, together, we'll tour,
See what's
There
In store."
~ Twittering
"'Twittering One' looks towards
Mark and Nancy for 'answers'. ... the
2 participans of this NG who don't have ADD (???)"
~ Raving
"O, Mark and Nancy, just ~ Tres
Nice peoples, who, too,
Like Folly and me have their won troubles."
~ Twittering
"The two 'effective' participants
In this NG, perhaps ?"
~ Raving
"... O? Or ~
Perhaps cochlear implants
They have? Because, they heard ~ Yes,
Mark and Nancy
Answered my our !S!O!S! ~
Our
CALLFORHELPfrom hell."
~ Folly
"Now,
I go and get 'drunk' ~~~~>
I wish to forget about all of the
bullshit. IMHO, 'Sadness' sucks big-time.
.... Thus, "nighty, night"."
~ Raving
"Perhaps rent a DVD ~ 'The
Shining?'"
~ Folly
"... but NOT ~ Know! Not
'The Days of Wine and Roses.'
~ Twittering
Twittering One
I go and get 'drunk' ~~~~>"
"Drunk?
Spinning circles? That'll give you vertigo ~
Make you dizzy, make you toss your cookies!
Yes, spinning circles ~
Mama ~ Lookie!
Yes, that's what I used to do ~ Spinning circles
In Mama's chair, in her Beauty Shop,
Where Mama worked, she never stopped,
Before and after I was born."
~ Twittering
"Raving, don't
Do that! Don't get drunk!
That'll make you sick.
Know ~ Please don't do that."
~ Folly
Twittering One
encountered in my limited experience of <such> ...
Way to go Fogg!
A brilliant 'decision' on your 'part' ....
Go forward. ... never look back.
... you have no reason to doubt
yourself."
~ Raving
"O, but Orpheus
Not so wrong to look back ~ To search, reach
For Euridyce.
When questing for her
Underground
In Hades, before recrossing The River Styxx, disembarking Hell
For a Life's return, solid land, with his wife's
Hand."
~ Twittering
Twittering One
Vertias?"
~ Folly
Raving Loonie
the "ROTF" prefix.
Twittering,
As i see it 'inffectualness' as one's self is a predominant aspect of
ADD
Am I ineffectual? ...Yes, i speak for myself
... are you ineffectual? You decide for yourself
I am currently, personally living a 'death' of ineffectualness ....
Am i "so" useless?
... it sure as hell would appear that way to myself ... and perhaps
others ...
Do you know why i haven't lodged a complaint about 'Run Like hell':
a) Silence by others ... (i don't expect you to do it ... )
... i must be 'wrong' in how i perceive the situation, ....right?
b) it occurs to me that 'Run Like hell' is quite intelligent. For
example, he did a remarkable job of immitating _g's style. ... I was
impressed by his comment that you were using the NG as a hospice. ...
you are.
c) it also occurs to me that 'Run Like hell' is a bit of a fellow
soulmate. .. How many of those who 'run' have ADD anyhow? ... you
<belong> there Twittering! you are NOT 'OT' as far as i am concerned.
d) it occurs to me that many of those labeled as 'kooks' are KOOKS
precisely BECAUSE they are 'ineffectual' and they are trying their
damnd'st NOT to be 'ineffectual'. .. those who 'mock' kooks can behave
inappropriately.
e) As far as i am concerned the comments made against gays are wrong,
inexcusable, damaging and shouldn't be alllowed to pass unnoticed. They
are the same 'reasons' given' for phgysically assaulting gays ..
recently.
Twittering, your sexual preference should have nothing to do with
'anything'.
Twittering, I really care about you. ... I care about you because I
see you as someone who has at least <suffered> what i have suffered in
life ... not only from the lack of family, .. and perhaps 'friends'
... but also from NOT being understood or appreciated as 'yourself'.
Personally, I know how dangerous and destructive and irreversable, that
can be ...
But that is 'myself', Twittering One ... NOT you!
Nevertheless, it is more than enough for 'abandonment' and the
catastrope's that can follow from <such> ....
Am i useless and completely ineffectual?
duh! ... of course, I am.
Am I REALLY <this way> ?
Speaking personally, Twittering One, I would be an ass to sucuumb to my
own stupidity.
Doesn't mean tht it may already be too late, does it?
I care about you ...
I will do whatever i can ...
i care about myself ...
... can somebody save me?
"Waiting" and hoping and looking for such a person is not really the
issue ...
i have to do my <part> whatever that is .. however 'far', i can do so.
Most of all, it is probably 'preposterous' for me to consider myself as
ineffectual.
How to be 'effective'?
.... I'm O.K. Jack
seems to be the route that might work ....
I have tons of really 'convincing' reasons to feel 'apathetic' about
myself Twittering One. ...
If you feel this way about yourself, i have no doubt that your own
reasons are even more compelling ...
'Sympathy' from <others> won't do 'bupkis' for me.
The only thing that matters to me is to be effective in life ....
At the moment, that is 'zippity-doh-dah'.
... this is "me", Twittering One, NOT you.
I will 'check in' again in Google groups tomorrow.
Cyberspace is no more or less a view upon reality as anything else ...
I care about T1, the intellect and 'person'. Take care of yourself. I
value what you do ...
Raving
Twittering One
Straub light shining in the dark?"
~ Folly
"... or pouncing, pronouncing ~
The Anti ~ Matter Pitter Pat
Morse code?
...................... Allo?"
~ Twittering
Twittering One
~ Twittering
"You mean
A lava lamp? Or just ~ The Lamp ~ Lit
Answer
>From the Well of Loneliness?"
~ Folly
"Dunno, Folly.
Dunno."
~ Twittering
Twittering One
What's that?"
~ Folly
Raving Loonie
... i am in the situation that i am in because i have spent a lifetime
of trying to be myself and having it NOT 'seem' to work.
Ironically, i am aware that 'who i am' DOES work ...
... maybe.
... perhaps, exceedingly well ...
This <alone> is sufficient to put me into a catstrophic situation.
How can i pull out of it ???
Cease to <care> ... cease trying so hard. ... be "me" ... everything
is ALREADY 'there'.
With help?
... sure would help to have "help" in helping myself!'
I have spent a lifetime in 'learning' and R&D ...
Graduation Day
... only "how"?
do i really need to "think" about it?
You are my age T1. .. you are as intelligent and capable as "Hell",
...probably MORE than ME. You are a survivor.
You sure as hell have been growing and 'learning'. It SHOWS in your
poetry ...
is this <enough>?
is your dilemma comparable to my own???
who knows Virginia Hooper! ... i have told you about myself as best as
i can.
It is for yourself to perceive reality as you must.
... it's none of my business
But make no mistake about it! ... I appreciate and admire you for who
you are. ... For what i 'perceive' of you ...
In yourself, i see someone with a predicament which is remarkably
similar to my <own> ....
... that being dismay and desperation at <ineffectualness>v ...
Are you ineffectual? .... 'Totally'
Also, you are one of the most effective people that I know!
Go for it Twittering One ~~~~~~>
"figure out how to do it" ... but tdon't think too hard or too long
'cause time is a wasting
... AND most of "all"!
... if your <were> "me" which you may not be ....
You already "know" what you ought to do ... so don't think too much,
eh?
just do & do and move ahead & ahead ....
... and don't look down or back or care what anyone else 'thinks' ...
... and if you need my help then call me, or 'post' or email or
whatever ... and i will do whatever i can ...
RL
Raving Loonie
I am trying to do the best in my own situation.
For someone with ADD, it's about finding 'effective' blinkers.
For someone with ADD, it's about learning to be 'impulsive'
For someone with ADD, it's about BECOMING 'Hyper-active'
i worry about being irresponsible
i am being crushed by being ineffectual
i care about Twittering One because T1 is a pretty amazing person ...
... who 'could' DO so much ...
... and AREN'T you 'sick to death' with hearing THAT ONE T-One!
I know tha I am ... in hearing "such" about myself.
But ... no more, I am afraid.
Now, I'm just called 'useless'/crazy etc.
I am running on and off and i will regret it and i stop
Good night.
Twittering One
The instilled moment before recollection?
But O, vanitas?
Where, The Apricots?"
~ Twittering
"... and
Vertias?"
~ Folly
"Has Mum left us, forgot?
Us, left us out
In the cold? This picture, now,
Our parting shot,
Shot through with holes, a memory's sieve,
Despite, in spite of, our need?
Yes, a Golden Net, a woven planted seed,
But still, not enough. A knotted net,
A weave,
Not good enough.
For, our bleeding's real blood. Forget
Us? How? However
Could you? Don't you know us any
More? You're our Mother!
Still needing her, we still wander, still want
Her here. To hear us. So sit with
Us. See us, want us home.
Knit our way home ~
For, yes, we're way past gone."
~ Twittering LSTOO & Folly IAG
!S!O!SI
~ * ~
Copy
That ~
Overandoutabcnewsthesearejoanbennetsbuds ...
*
p fogg
"Raving Loonie" <raving...@gmail.com> wrote in message
news:1112489640....@z14g2000cwz.googlegroups.com...
Wow RL, that was nice of you to say. I'll do my best to live up to it.
--Patti