ASA is Newsgroup for caregivers
Adelle
This is a newsgroup for caregivers of loved ones with dementia.
Right now, most of us regulars are no longer caregivers as our respective
loved ones have passed. As such, we are tending to lurk rather than post.
But we are a friendly and hopefully helpful group of people.
Please feel free to post questions, tell us about your experiences, or just
plain vent - if that is what you need. We will pop out of the woodwork and
help in whatever way we can.
And please ignore the pseudo-science stuff which is currently the
predominant postings. We are dealing with a couple of people obsessed with
ideas which have little to no scientific basis. There are also people who
can't resist yelling at these posters. Takes up a lot of bandwidth for
little purpose.
Wishing you all well!
--
Adelle
Lynn Lynn
I apologize if I came across as "yelling" at these posters. It just
makes me wonder why they would interrupt a support newsgroup as they do.
I guess just to irritate us!
I will try to overlook their posts and seek comfort and guidance from
those "who have been there".
Lynn
Adelle
"Lynn Lynn" <lu...@webtv.net> wrote in message
news:1955-4A96...@baytvnwsxa002.msntv.msn.com...
Wasn't addressing anyone specific, so please don't feel guilty. There is a
'long time' saying on newsgroups - Do not feed the trolls. Sometimes you'll
see it as the acronym DNFTT.
There are people out there obsessed with unsupported ideas, or who just
plain want to yank your chain. They are referred to as Trolls. Life is too
short to get into point-counterpoint with people who aren't listening or who
are doing things just to get a reaction.
Welcome to our little part of the playground.
Adelle
Evelyn
Lynn, it is a shame. We usually have peace on this newsgroup..... in fact
almost too much until just recently! There were quite a few posters in the
past. Then we got nothing but trolls, and now the anti-trolls are making a
nuisance of themselves unfortunately. But don't let it get you down, there
are still quite a few of us who still come here to offer help and support
where it is needed.
--
Evelyn
"Even as a mother protects with her life her only child, So with a boundless
heart let one cherish all living beings." --Sutta Nipata 1.8
Brick
Thank you for the comments Adelle. I have been lurking here for most of
a year, but posting very little. I have no intention of getting involved
with
the pseudo scientific BS. It's disheartening enough to know that the most
learned minds on the planet know little or nothing about alzheimers. They
can't even agree on the most useful medications. Many years ago, I took
DW to a 'learned neurologist' who consumed much of our time, conducted
many psychological and physical tests before diagnosing adamantly that
DW 'did not' have alzheimers and thus prescribed no medication. Today
she can neither cut up her own food or even locate the bathroom in a
house she has lived in for over seventeen years. So much for scientific
knowledge.
Only by happenstance did we find a doctor that not only cared, but
that had made it a personal obligation to learn something about dementia.
He is a family practice doctor speciallizing in the elderly. We encountered
him by default when Nathalie went into emergency for a broken hip the
second time. He immediatly referred us to a neuropsychologist who
measured and specified the degree of impairment at that time.
--
Brick (Youth is wasted on young people)
Jim
and the frustrations that you have encountered but, such is life? as for
myself I am one of the lucky ones that was diagnosed with Alzheimer's 2 1\2
years ago but with proper medication and having a Cardiologist and
Neurologist in my family and after a high number of tests I was placed on
medicine and so far so good so, as I previously have said I am one of the
lucky ones and you are correct there is very little known about this
sickness and most of the times doctors by pass-it. I do volunteer work at a
local hospital in Pastoral care working with patients with Alzheimer's or
terminal Cancer and try to help as much as I can both patients and family
it's a long path. Please have faith and you will be compensated by the
Lord, God Bless
Jim B
"Brick" <hrbr...@NOSPAMverizon.net> wrote in message
news:aXTNm.17367$gd1....@newsfe05.iad...
Brick
On 2-Dec-2009, "Jim" <hel...@yahoo.com> wrote:
> "Brick" <hrbr...@NOSPAMverizon.net> wrote in message
> news:aXTNm.17367$gd1....@newsfe05.iad...
> >
> > On 27-Aug-2009, "Adelle" <adstavisa...@invalid.invalid> wrote:
. . . several posts bypassed.
Thank you all for your most appropriate support. Lynn and Adelle
particularly
reflect much of what is going on here. Concerning the subject of
progressive
impairment and more juvenile behavior. All comments are well taken. What is
not so well said is how hard it is to achieve the proper behavior within
ourselves
in order to provide maximum comfort for our loved ones. The loss of ones
partner during a period when that partner is most needed is particularly
debilitating.
We received our first 'Respite' care visit yesterday. It will take some
getting used
to. I was surprised to find out they're giving me 11 hours/wk. I don't
really need
that much at the moment, but will in the not too distant future. The lady's
name
is Linda and she does this for a living. She has quite a bit of experience
so I don't
think she'll have much of a problem phasing into our life. I like to cook
and she's
trying to control her weight. I'll probably become her worst enemy.
Nathalie is in a fidgit stage. It's been going on for a few months now. She
stands
up and sits down only to stand up again. She stands up in the midst of
eating
her meals. It's a constant distraction while watching television. It drives
me nuts.
So far, she doesn't see things or hear things that aren't there.
There is no conversation. There is no awareness of what is playing on the
television. She is totally unable to follow a television storyline.Any
comment that
I make is answered with, "Yeah?"
Evelyn
"Brick" <hrbr...@NOSPAMverizon.net> wrote in message
Brick, take advantage of that time to yourself. You say you don't need
that much, but I think perhaps you need it more than you realize.
Caregiving is such an all consuming thing, that you forget who you are, what
you do, what you like.... etc. It took us almost a year to resume our own
lives after my mother in law was gone. Join a club, take a walk, go to a
movie..... or just have a quiet lunch somewhere. Take advantage of the
opportunity to get a breather. You probably need it more than you realize
yourself!
Lynn Lynn
paper towels I gave to her with her meals and tear them in little
squares and put them EVERYWHERE. She got upset if I tried to take them
away.
She would also tap her feet up and down and fidget with her fingers.
Mom, also, did not understand television and we had very little
conversation.
I have cried a lot this week just wanting to have my Mother back so I
could talk to HER and tell her how much I love her and how sorry I am.
We were so close all our lives and the last couple of years are heart
breaking to remember. It is a terrible feeling for your loved one to
not understand who you are. I don't think I have ever been so sad in my
life.
I lost my Dad and Sister the same year - only eight months apart and
even that was not as hard as losing a Mother who did not really know who
I was.
Sometimes I am driving down the street and I just start crying. I know
time will heal but, as Evelyn mentioned, it takes awhile.
We are here for you Brick - as you are here for us too!
Lynn
While I was caring for her my emotions ran wild - from frustration,
resentment, confusion, exhaustion, -you name it.
Brick
On 4-Dec-2009, lu...@webtv.net (Lynn Lynn) wrote:
> You mentioned your wife being fidgety.
. . .
> Lynn
>
> While I was caring for her my emotions ran wild - from frustration,
> resentment, confusion, exhaustion, -you name it.
That one sentence says it all. But, I would add 'anger'. Unfortunately
there is no target for the anger.
Lynn Lynn
You are so right that there is no target for anger.
I never knew anyone who had to deal with Alzheimer's prior to my caring
for Mom and it is something I would not wish on my worst enemy.
I go through some of Mom's belongings and think to myself - we have all
these material things and then all of a sudden one day you might not
even know you have them. What good are they?
After you are gone they are given away or sit on a shelf with someone
not knowing what to do with them.
I gave most of Mom's clothes to the Thrift Shop for Abused Women. She
has a lot of jewelry I bought her throughout the years. That will stay
with me. Things from her apartment are stored and I must go through all
of that so I don't continue to pay storage fees.
I hope the assistance you are getting is helping somewhat. I know it's
good to get away and have time for yourself but it doesn't take long to
fall back into the depression when you return, does it?
Take care and try to have a peaceful week.
Lynn