Need Positive Christian Adoption Board
Sisn
Date: Sat, 22 Nov 1997 02:47:36 -0500
From: si...@aol.com (Sisn)
Organization: AOL http://www.aol.com
Subject: Need Positive Christian Adoption Board
I have just finished browsing the adoption boards on AOL, and if that were what
the typical adoptive parent were like, I think many kids would have been better
off just staying in foster care -- or even with their abusive original
caretakers. I say this because the posts I read treated the children too often
as either a commodity to be bought, preferable cheaply, or as a scapegoat to be
blamed for every unpleasant feeling and parenting inability the the adoptive
parent had. I really got fed up. I posted a few times, but became somewhat
unpopular in a hurry, LOL!! Go figure... Could it be because I don't think
that the way a child arrives in the family makes him or her any more or less
special, or any more or less the parent's responsibility to raise? ;->>
Anyway, if anyone knows of a Christian board that isn't a whole lot of blame
and excuses but instead a place where *parents* can discuss parenting issues
including the adoption search and initial adjustment needs of the older child
in the context of a realization of a sovereign God who makes a family any way
HE chooses... please email me. Si...@aol.com Thanks.
AdoptaGirl
Date: Sun, 30 Nov 1997 12:08:47 -0500
Newsgroups: alt.support.adoption.advocacy
To: si...@aol.com (Sisn)
From: adopt...@aol.com (AdoptaGirl)
Organization: AOL http://www.aol.com
Subject: Re: Need Positive Christian Adoption Board
In article <sisn-ya02408000R...@snews.zippo.com>, si...@aol.com
(Sisn) wrote:
>I have just finished browsing the adoption boards on AOL, and if that were
>what the typical adoptive parent were like, I think many kids would have been
>better off just staying in foster care -- or even with their abusive original
>caretakers. I say this because the posts I read treated the children too
>often as either a commodity to be bought, preferable cheaply,
I really wish to understand what you mean by this... I dearly wish to have a
child (we are starting the process of adopting a Chinese baby). However I HATE
to spend the money that these "agencies" want to process the adoption. Some of
these Agencies want $5000 simply to do a Homestudy... even $500 is too much!
They simply have you fill out a questionaire, get references, visit you at your
house and then put it all together. 5 to 8 pages of information... for that
much money is a shame and in my mind a ripoff. Money that could be used to
provide for my future daughter is lining the pockets of these adoption
agencies. I don't mind paying a price but that is too much money for what is
provided!!!! Yes, I want to save money on the adoption so I may provide more
for her.
Please respond as I wish to hear your side.
Celeste
In article <adoptagirl-ya024080...@news.prodigy.net>,
adopt...@aol.com (AdoptaGirl) wrote:
> I really wish to understand what you mean by this... I dearly wish to have a
> child (we are starting the process of adopting a Chinese baby). However I
> HATE to spend the money that these "agencies" want to process the
> adoption. Some of these Agencies want $5000 simply to do a Homestudy...
> even $500 is too much! They simply have you fill out a questionaire, get
> references, visit you at your house and then put it all together. 5 to
> 8 pages of information... for that much money is a shame and in my mind a
> ripoff. Money that could be used to provide for my future daughter is
> lining the pockets of these adoption agencies. I don't mind paying a
> price but that is too much money for what is provided!!!! Yes, I want
> to save money on the adoption so I may provide more for her.
>
> Please respond as I wish to hear your side.
Are you kidding me, $5000 for a homestudy? I researched China adoptions a
little over a year ago, I knew it was too expensive and became quite
suspicious of the amount of greed involved in these international
adoptions. But it seems to me that in just a year the costs are getting
way out of hand. Imo, I think our government should investigate this
matter. I suppose those hoping to adopt from China wouldn't want our
country making waves, but people, innocent children too, are being
exploited and taken advantage of here.
This doesn't surprise me though about China. From some other stories I
have been hearing about China lately, truely horrible atrocities being
committed against prisoners for democracy and Christians, some who are
being inprisoned for simply being vocal about wanting democracy, or of
their faith in Jesus Christ. They are being excuted and having their
organs harvested to be sold to wealthy buyers for exorbitant amounts of
money, even wealthy Americans are purchasing the organs of innocent
prisoners who have committed no crimes, for simply wanting rights and
freedom. The way in which they are treating their women, children and baby
girls, forcing there one child policy, forcing women to have abortions,
this is unforgivable in my eyes! Oh we should thank the Lord every day
how fortunate we are to have the freedoms we enjoy here, especially
Christians to worship the Lord. These people truly need our prayers.
Adoption shouldn't be just about adopting a child for ourselves to love, or
us to be loved by a child. Adoption is about giving and expecting to
receive nothing in return except the blessings that come from demonstrating
mercy, kindness, and having a generous spirit for helping others. Adoption
is a spirit and caring for strangers and foreigners as if they were our own
flesh and blood families, our neighbors, our brothers and sisters. We
need at times to be willing to take a stand, to stand up and fight for what
is right.
The human rights violations to the citizens and people of China may well be
just as atrocious as the Jewish Holocaust, and our country is turning it's
head and pretending not realize just how bad it's gotten in that country.
Not only should China not have favored trading status with the United
States, I feel our country needs to take a serious look at what our Country
can do to address the terrible human rights violations in China.
Believe me, I was once in the situation of wanting to adopt a child very
much. And when I took my focus off of what I wanted, and focused on
accepting whatever God is willing to provide, that is when I had my prayers
for a child answered. For Christians it's truly that simple. We live in a
world where there is so much apostasy and loss of faith, and children being
born to the unsaved, and in need, in precarious situations. God wants
those willing to put Him on the throne of their lives first, and THEN
*secondly*, who desire children to have these children that no one else
wants or are able to care for. Love the Lord first and most of all, and
all these other things will be added unto you.
But I do feel that those wanting to adopt need to understand that some
matters deserve precedence, especially the humane treatment of other human
beings. In matters such as these, when we allow such atrocities to
continue without any protest, and for our own wants or needs, we become
participants in evil and thus have blood on our own hands. China is one
case that calls for everyone to place others needs and desires before our
own. I know I wouldn't want to go the rest of my life realizing that I was
able to adopt only by keeping silent at terrible exploitations of others,
including children? And we have American, non-profit agencies involving
themselves in this trading of children from China. I am sorry to say it
but this is not right, we should not be involving ourselves in such evil.
Are the small fraction of children we are managing to adopt, to save from
China's oppressive government worth all the millions of others who are
suffering and dying. I agree with the same sort of logic that the parents
of the septuplets had in this issue. Selectively deciding many should die
so only one or two can live is not how God would have us decide. It's
either all shall live or all shall die. For it's better to die, than to
live at the cost of another one's life.
Besides, imo, domestic adoption in this country has really been given a bad
rap and people are very mislead about how hard it is to adopt a healthy
infant right here in our own country. I have tried to convey that it isn't
that difficult, I have managed to successfully adopt two healthy infant
boys myself, right here in this country. Both of our adoptions are sound,
legal and confidential adoptions. Our first adoption was less than $7000.,
and our second was only around $1000. This is still quite possible,
people are being just too impatient to have children right away, and misled
to worry too much about what it's like to adopt in the United States.
Celeste
--
John 1:1 ś In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and
the Word was God.
2 The same was in the beginning with God.
3 All things were made by him; and without him was not any thing made that
was made.
4 In him was life; and the life was the light of men.
5 ś And the light shineth in darkness; and the darkness comprehended it not.
6 There was a man sent from God, whose name [was] John.
7 The same came for a witness, to bear witness of the Light, that all
[men] through him might believe.
SESTPCZ
Date: Thu, 4 Dec 1997 09:26:16 -0500
To: si...@aol.com (Sisn)
From: ses...@aol.com (SESTPCZ)
Hello Sisn,
I'm curious about your feelings re: the AOL adoption boards.
What exactly did you find objectionable? And why do you feel your needs would
be better served by a separate area? And if YOUR needs (those of the adoptive
parent) are better served by a separate space, does that necessarily mean that
the adoptee's needs are better served?
I share much of your distaste over the ways in which prospective adoptive
parents exhibit their 'real' personalities online. But some of the adoptees
and/or first parents are equally difficult, imo.