(OT) That funny Vader - Luke post

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Talon Karrde

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Feb 17, 2000, 3:00:00 AM2/17/00
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Who was it that posted that alternative Cloud City conversation between Vader &
Skywalker? If you have it can you mail it to me please.
I remember it had the line,

Luke: 'I used to bullseye womp rats in my t-16 back home.'

Vader: 'I won the boonta eve open, the only human to ever fly a pop racer.'

or something like that.


Karrde

Dalton

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Feb 17, 2000, 3:00:00 AM2/17/00
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I think it was Chuck. He usually posts all that funny shit :)

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Dalton
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Eric

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Feb 17, 2000, 3:00:00 AM2/17/00
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On Thu, 17 Feb 2000 03:40:20 -0000, "Talon Karrde"
<Kar...@imperial-centre.freeserve.co.uk> wrote:

>Who was it that posted that alternative Cloud City conversation between Vader &
>Skywalker? If you have it can you mail it to me please.
>I remember it had the line,
>
>Luke: 'I used to bullseye womp rats in my t-16 back home.'
>
>Vader: 'I won the boonta eve open, the only human to ever fly a pop racer.'
>
>or something like that.
>
>
>Karrde
>

INT: BESPIN GANTRY - MOMENTS LATER:

A furious lightsaber duel is underway.

DARTH VADER is backing LUKE SKYWALKER towards the end of the gantry. A
quick move by Vader, chops off Luke's hand! It goes spinning off into
the
ventilation shaft. Luke backs away. He looks around, but realizes
there's
nowhere to go but straight down.

Darth Vader: Obi Wan never told you what happened to your father.

Luke: He told me enough! He told me you killed him!

Darth Vader: No... I am your father!

Luke: No! That's not true! That's impossible.

Darth Vader: Search your feelings... you know it to be true...

Luke: NOOOOOOO!

Darth Vader: Yes, it is true... and you know what else? You know that
protocol droid of yours?

Luke: Threepio?

Darth Vader: Yes... Threepio... I built him... when I was 9 years
old...

Luke: No...

Darth Vader: Nine years old! And what have you done? Look at
yourself,
no hand, no job, and couldn't even levitate your own
ship out of the swamp...

Luke: I destroyed your precious Death Star!

Darth Vader: When you were 20! When I was 10, I single-handedly
destroyed a Trade Federation Droid Control ship!

Luke: Well, it's not my fault...

Darth Vader: Oh, here we go... "Poor me... my father never gave me
what
I wanted for my birthday... boo hoo, my daddy's the Dark Lord
of
the Sith...waahhh wahhh!"

Luke: Shut up!

Darth Vader: You're a slacker! By the time I was your age, I had
exterminated the Jedi knights!

Luke: I used to race my T-16 through Beggar's Canyon.

Darth Vader: Oh, for the love of the Emperor... 10 years old, winner
of
the Boonta Eve Open! Only human to ever fly
a
Pod Racer... right here baby!

Luke looks down the shaft. Takes a step towards it.

Darth Vader: Go ahead and jump. I was wrong... You're not my kid.
I don't know whose you are, but you sure ain't
mine...

Luke takes a step off the platform, hesitates, then plunges down the
shaft. Darth Vader looks after him.

Darth Vader: And get a haircut!

Eric
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"Sufficiently advanced technology is often indistinguishable
from magic." - Clarke's Third Law

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spectral release phantasmatron! I'm a genuis!"

Allen W. McDonnell

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Feb 17, 2000, 3:00:00 AM2/17/00
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Newsgroups: alt.startrek.vs.starwars
Subject: [OT] The Empire Strikes Back - Extra Special Edition (humour)
From: Calicia
Date: Wed, 15 Sep 1999 14:41:04 GMT
Got this sent to me by one of the humour lists I'm on. <--0--> I just heard
there's going to be an extra scene included in the DVD release of EMPIRE
STRIKES BACK coming up next year! Basically, it expands on the scene where
Vader reveals his fatherhood to Luke, and ties up some loose ends created
with the release of Episode 1...
The Empire Strikes Back: Extra-Special
Edition ----------------------------------------------- INT: BESPIN GANTRY -

MOMENTS LATER: A furious lightsaber duel is underway. DARTH VADER is backing
LUKE SKYWALKER towards the end of the gantry. A quick move by Vader, chops
off Luke's hand! It goes spinning off into the ventilation shaft. Luke backs
away. He looks around, but realizes there's nowhere to go but straight down.
Darth Vader: Obi Wan never told you what happened to your father.
Luke: He told me enough! He told me you killed him!
Darth Vader: No... I am your father!
Luke: No, it's not true! It's impossible.

Darth Vader: Search your feelings... you know it to be true...
Luke: NO!
Darth Vader: Yes, it is true.. and you know what else? You know that brass

droid of yours?
Luke: Threepio?
Darth Vader: Yes... Threepio... I built him... when I was 7 years old...
Luke: No...
Darth Vader: Seven years old! And what have you done? Look at yourself, no

hand, no job, and couldn't even levitate your own ship out of the swamp...
Luke: I destroyed your precious Death Star!
Darth Vader: When you were 20! When I was 10, I single-handedly destroyed a
Trade Federation Droid Control ship!
Luke: Well, it's not my fault...
Darth Vader: Oh, here we go... "Poor me... my father never gave me what I
wanted for my birthday... boo hoo, my daddy's the Dark Lord of the
Sith...waahhh wahhh!"
Luke: Shut up...

Darth Vader: You're a slacker! By the time I was your age, I had
exterminated the Jedi knights!
Luke: I used to race my T-16 through Beggar's Canyon...

Darth Vader: Oh, for the love of the Emperor... 10 years old, winner of the
Boonta Eve Open... Only human to ever fly a Pod Racer... right here baby!

Luke looks down the shaft. Takes a step towards it.
Darth Vader: I was wrong... You're not my kid... I don't know whose you are,

but you sure ain't mine...
Luke takes a step off the platform, hesitates, then plunges down the shaft.
Darth Vader looks after him.
Darth Vader: Get a haircut!


-- Calicia -- ASCII silly question, get a silly ANSI -- Sent via Deja.com
http://www.deja.com/ Share what you know. Learn what you don't.


--
Life is what YOU make of it, so why are you sitting there reading this?
Allen W. McDonnell
AIM Tanada1945
ICQ 44757320
Email Tan...@provide.spam.net

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