[OT] Are Doctors More Dangerous than Guns?
Celes Knight
700,000.
Accidental deaths caused by physicians per year:
120,000 (AMA).
Accidental deaths per physician:
0.171 (U.S. Dept. of Health Human Services)
Number of gun owners in the US: 80,000,000.
Number of accidental gun deaths per year (all age groups): 1,500.
Accidental deaths per gun owner: 0.0000188
Statistically, doctors are approximately 9,000 times more
dangerous than gun owners.
"FACT: Not everyone has a gun, but everyone has at
least one Doctor." Please alert your friends to this alarming
threat. We must ban doctors before this gets out of hand.
As a Public Health Measure, I have withheld the statistic
on Lawyers for fear that the shock could cause people to
seek medical aid.
From a mailing list at http://www.jokeaday.com/
Dalton
You are aware, of course, that the pro-gun nuts like Deimos creatively
snip it and try to use it as a valid argument against gun control?
--
Rob "Roby" Dalton
http://daltonator.net
"This is academia, dear...we only preach freedom of speech,
not practice it." ---Non Sequitur
Matthew Hyde
>
> Number of physicians in the US:
> 700,000.
>
> Accidental deaths caused by physicians per year:
> 120,000 (AMA).
>
> Accidental deaths per physician:
> 0.171 (U.S. Dept. of Health Human Services)
>
> Number of gun owners in the US: 80,000,000.
> Number of accidental gun deaths per year (all age groups): 1,500.
> Accidental deaths per gun owner: 0.0000188
>
> Statistically, doctors are approximately 9,000 times more
> dangerous than gun owners.
>
many people see a doctor in day
Paradox
"Matthew Hyde" <mdo...@mtu.edu> wrote in message
news:3CA65C45...@mtu.edu...
Yeah, the MTBF for each item makes this unfair.
Its like saying that normal headlights burn out more then brights, of course
they will, because they are used more.
Matthew Hyde
>
> "Matthew Hyde" <mdo...@mtu.edu> wrote in message
> news:3CA65C45...@mtu.edu...
> > Celes Knight wrote:
> > >
> > > Number of physicians in the US:
> > > 700,000.
> > >
> > > Accidental deaths caused by physicians per year:
> > > 120,000 (AMA).
> > >
> > > Accidental deaths per physician:
> > > 0.171 (U.S. Dept. of Health Human Services)
> > >
> > > Number of gun owners in the US: 80,000,000.
> > > Number of accidental gun deaths per year (all age groups): 1,500.
> > > Accidental deaths per gun owner: 0.0000188
> > >
> > > Statistically, doctors are approximately 9,000 times more
> > > dangerous than gun owners.
> > >
> > "Statistically," but gunners don't aim their guns and fire at however
> > many people see a doctor in day
>
> Yeah, the MTBF for each item makes this unfair.
>
Matthew Hyde
>
>
> >
> Mean... Transient... Behavioral... Floob?
AH! Mean Time Between Fucking! Yeah!
Doomriser
affected area next time since guns are obviously safer than doctors. I mean,
it's not like only sick, wounded, and dying people go to the doctor while
guns prematurely end the lives of many young and healthy humans.
On the other hand, at least guns don't bitch at me about my personal habits
and then try to push drugs on me.
-=Doomriser
Paradox
> Matthew Hyde wrote:
> >
> >
> > >
> > Mean... Transient... Behavioral... Floob?
>
> AH! Mean Time Between Fucking! Yeah!
Mean time between failure :\
Stim Neuro
> Celes Knight wrote:
> >
> > Number of physicians in the US:
> > 700,000.
> >
> > Accidental deaths caused by physicians per year:
> > 120,000 (AMA).
> >
> > Accidental deaths per physician:
> > 0.171 (U.S. Dept. of Health Human Services)
> >
> > Number of gun owners in the US: 80,000,000.
> > Number of accidental gun deaths per year (all age groups): 1,500.
> > Accidental deaths per gun owner: 0.0000188
> >
> > Statistically, doctors are approximately 9,000 times more
> > dangerous than gun owners.
> >
> > "FACT: Not everyone has a gun, but everyone has at
> > least one Doctor." Please alert your friends to this alarming
> > threat. We must ban doctors before this gets out of hand.
> >
> > As a Public Health Measure, I have withheld the statistic
> > on Lawyers for fear that the shock could cause people to
> > seek medical aid.
> >
> > From a mailing list at http://www.jokeaday.com/
>
> You are aware, of course, that the pro-gun nuts like Deimos creatively
> snip it and try to use it as a valid argument against gun control?
"Gun Control- The theory that 110lb. women should have to fistfight
with 210lb. rapists."
Matthew Hyde
Damn! I knew that. I hate when that happens!
Dalton
"Gun Control- The theory that prevents 100lb. mentally unstable and
seriously delusional stupid people from acquiring a device that can kill
many people."
Gun control should be based on intelligence and psychological tests.
Matthew Hyde
funny--but scary!
Smoke em if ya got em
Durandal
You are, of course, aware that all the doctors of the US have
contributed significantly and directly to the health and well-being of
Americans everywhere, whereas all guns do is kill people?
--
Damien Sorresso
[AOL: durandal64] | [ICQ: 12183859]
"The speed of light has nothing to do with gravitational attraction."
-Karate Squid
Sir Nitram
>contributed significantly and directly to the health and well-being of
>Americans everywhere, whereas all guns do is kill people?
>
Joke. JOKE. Note link at end of post.
--
SirNitram
ASVS Small Gods Keeper and Amateur Genius
The most powerful attack of them all...
DALTONDOKEN!
Brought to you by cheese.
Charles Sonnenburg
"Celes Knight" <NOknig...@rconnectNO.SPcomAM> wrote in message
news:xkrp8.156609$Gf.14...@bin2.nnrp.aus1.giganews.com...
> Number of physicians in the US:
> 700,000.
>
> Accidental deaths caused by physicians per year:
> 120,000 (AMA).
>
> Accidental deaths per physician:
> 0.171 (U.S. Dept. of Health Human Services)
This is the set up. It establishes a group of facts and an initial
conclusion.
>
> Number of gun owners in the US: 80,000,000.
> Number of accidental gun deaths per year (all age groups): 1,500.
> Accidental deaths per gun owner: 0.0000188
The set up continues by adding seemingly similar but obviously unrelated
data to the mix to do a repeat comparison. With both in place the
preparation is complete.
>
> Statistically, doctors are approximately 9,000 times more
> dangerous than gun owners.
The writer then uses the unrelated comparison to reach a seemingly correct
but in fact flawed comparison between two things that are only superficially
similar. This in turn leads to a bizarre conclusion.
>
> "FACT: Not everyone has a gun, but everyone has at
> least one Doctor." Please alert your friends to this alarming
> threat. We must ban doctors before this gets out of hand.
The writer then takes it further by using this bizarre conclusion as a
justification for an even more bizarre action. By associating the bizarre
with an issue related to one of the statistics brought up, and therefore
relating two completely unconnected things, an attempt at humor is made.
The attempt is solely for levity and not an actual suggestion or anecdote,
as jokes are often exagerated for humor sake.
>
> As a Public Health Measure, I have withheld the statistic
> on Lawyers for fear that the shock could cause people to
> seek medical aid.
>
Takes the joke a step further two-fold. Bringing a lawyer into a joke,
particular in reference to anything unscrupulous, corrupt, dangerous or
despicable, is the icing on a joke cake, if you'll pardon the metaphor. The
second is by using the lawyer part to refer back to the bizarre conclusion
in an indirect way, thus using allusion as a form of humor as well.
>
> From a mailing list at http://www.jokeaday.com/
>
Here the writer provides the final reminder that it's a joke.
Arthur Tuxedo
Be nice if it actually worked, wouldn't it? Too bad gun control
doesn't make all those millions of guns already in existence magically
disappear, it just keeps them in criminal hands who don't care how
many regulations they're breaking instead of law-abiding ones...
P.S. I respect you a lot, Dalton, and I REALLY don't want to get into
a bad argument about this. Just giving my point of view, take it or
leave it.
Dalton
It really would, ya know? It really would.
> Too bad gun control
> doesn't make all those millions of guns already in existence magically
> disappear, it just keeps them in criminal hands who don't care how
> many regulations they're breaking instead of law-abiding ones...
Oh, I know that too. Which is why I think cops should get assault rifles
and rocket launchers ;)
> P.S. I respect you a lot, Dalton, and I REALLY don't want to get into
> a bad argument about this. Just giving my point of view, take it or
> leave it.
Nah, don't worry about it. I take this issue lightheartedly.
Azrael
news:xkrp8.156609$Gf.14...@bin2.nnrp.aus1.giganews.com...
Is it already time for our yearly gun control flamefest?
Azrael
Many killers have high intelligence, and psychological tests can defeated.
:)
Azrael
news:3CA697E7...@mac.com...
> Celes Knight wrote:
> > Number of physicians in the US:
> > 700,000.
> >
> > Accidental deaths caused by physicians per year:
> > 120,000 (AMA).
> >
> > Accidental deaths per physician:
> > 0.171 (U.S. Dept. of Health Human Services)
> >
> > Number of gun owners in the US: 80,000,000.
> > Number of accidental gun deaths per year (all age groups): 1,500.
> > Accidental deaths per gun owner: 0.0000188
> >
> > Statistically, doctors are approximately 9,000 times more
> > dangerous than gun owners.
> >
> > "FACT: Not everyone has a gun, but everyone has at
> > least one Doctor." Please alert your friends to this alarming
> > threat. We must ban doctors before this gets out of hand.
> >
> > As a Public Health Measure, I have withheld the statistic
> > on Lawyers for fear that the shock could cause people to
> > seek medical aid.
> >
> >
> > From a mailing list at http://www.jokeaday.com/
>
> You are, of course, aware that all the doctors of the US have
> contributed significantly and directly to the health and well-being of
> Americans everywhere, whereas all guns do is kill people?
Guns can be used for more than killing. Ever here of sport shooting? Gun
collecting?
Dalton
You're just saying that coz you love me.
Azrael
Not today. Today I hate everyone.
Dalton
bad day at the salon:
Azrael
You have no idea :)
Carcharodon
Dalton
Yeah, that Martha is such a bitch! And I broke a nail!
Arthur Tuxedo
*Scratches head* Wait, hold on... trying to figure how this statement
ties in to mine. Okay, I think I have it. You think I'm like Marina
believing that M249's should be legal for civilian use, right? I was
just talking about handguns. I don't think it should be OK for people
to have assault rifles and rocket launchers. That would make me a
nutjob :)
> > P.S. I respect you a lot, Dalton, and I REALLY don't want to get into
> > a bad argument about this. Just giving my point of view, take it or
> > leave it.
>
> Nah, don't worry about it. I take this issue lightheartedly.
Good, well then prepare the asbestos suit j/k
Dalton
Not quite.
> I was
> just talking about handguns. I don't think it should be OK for people
> to have assault rifles and rocket launchers. That would make me a
> nutjob :)
That it would! :) But the problem most people have with handguns is that
they're easily concealed.
> > > P.S. I respect you a lot, Dalton, and I REALLY don't want to get into
> > > a bad argument about this. Just giving my point of view, take it or
> > > leave it.
> >
> > Nah, don't worry about it. I take this issue lightheartedly.
>
> Good, well then prepare the asbestos suit j/k
muhahaha
Doomriser
> Check out "Mullets 'n' Guns" on http://www.mulletsgalore.com. Too
> funny--but scary!
>
> Smoke em if ya got em
http://www.gunsforkids.com/index.phtml?Guns_Session=ebae798b0d22cf34af736198
2266a845
-=Doomriser
Doomriser
news:2820f6d3.02033...@posting.google.com...
> www.guncite.com
I love the way the site uses ONE doctor's studies for almost every page on
their site!
-=Doomriser
Matthew Hyde
Matthew Hyde
>
<snip>
>
> Guns can be used for more than killing. Ever here of sport shooting? Gun
> collecting?
Boring! I wanna go kill stuff! Fuck sports!
Matthew Hyde
>
<SNIP?
> Here the writer provides the final reminder that it's a joke.
Yah, but it wasn't funny :9 and besides, people who shall remain
nameless, like Deimos and Mark "Mark IV Mod 1" Sheppard take this shit
seriously. I bet there are those who grab the numbers and snip the "it's
a joke, folks" and try to actually argue with this as uh, ammunition.
Best not to tell jokes on ASVS, lol.
Charles Sonnenburg
> Charles Sonnenburg wrote:
> >
> <SNIP?
>
> > Here the writer provides the final reminder that it's a joke.
>
> Yah, but it wasn't funny :9 and besides, people who shall remain
> nameless, like Deimos and Mark "Mark IV Mod 1" Sheppard take this shit
> seriously.
seriously is the best joke of all.
The problem is what's called the proximity rule of humor; if you associate a
joke with a seirous issue the humor hurdle is raised. I'm thinking about
writing a book on this kind of stuff because of how common it is on the
Internet..
Arthur Tuxedo
> Arthur Tuxedo wrote:
> >
> > Dalton <r...@daltonator.net> wrote in message news:<3CA6A69C...@daltonator.net>...
> > > Arthur Tuxedo wrote:
> > > >
> > > > Dalton <r...@daltonator.net> wrote in message news:<3CA6805F...@daltonator.net>...
> > > > > Stim Neuro wrote:
> > > > > >
> > > > > > Dalton <r...@daltonator.net> wrote in message news:<3CA6520A...@daltonator.net>...
> > > > > > > Celes Knight wrote:
> > > > >
> > > > > "Gun Control- The theory that prevents 100lb. mentally unstable and
> > > > > seriously delusional stupid people from acquiring a device that can kill
> > > > > many people."
> > > > >
> > > > > Gun control should be based on intelligence and psychological tests.
> > > >
> > > > Be nice if it actually worked, wouldn't it?
> > >
> > > It really would, ya know? It really would.
> > >
> > > > Too bad gun control
> > > > doesn't make all those millions of guns already in existence magically
> > > > disappear, it just keeps them in criminal hands who don't care how
> > > > many regulations they're breaking instead of law-abiding ones...
> > >
> > > Oh, I know that too. Which is why I think cops should get assault rifles
> > > and rocket launchers ;)
> >
> > *Scratches head* Wait, hold on... trying to figure how this statement
> > ties in to mine. Okay, I think I have it. You think I'm like Marina
> > believing that M249's should be legal for civilian use, right?
>
> Not quite.
Ah, so it was just a light-hearted joke that had nothing to do with
anything and not a parody of my position? Well why didn't you say so!
:)
> > I was
> > just talking about handguns. I don't think it should be OK for people
> > to have assault rifles and rocket launchers. That would make me a
> > nutjob :)
>
> That it would! :) But the problem most people have with handguns is that
> they're easily concealed.
Yes, but so are sawed-off shotguns, and the rate of survival of close
range shotgun wounds is a hell of a lot lower than pistols, especially
the .22 peashooters a lot of criminals seem fond of. Besides, gun
control laws in the past haven't had any consistent effect on violent
crime. Sometimes the crime went up, sometimes down, just what you
would expect to happen when something has no effect.
Dalton
Grr, I don't like having to work for funny!
> > > I was
> > > just talking about handguns. I don't think it should be OK for people
> > > to have assault rifles and rocket launchers. That would make me a
> > > nutjob :)
> >
> > That it would! :) But the problem most people have with handguns is that
> > they're easily concealed.
>
> Yes, but so are sawed-off shotguns, and the rate of survival of close
> range shotgun wounds is a hell of a lot lower than pistols, especially
> the .22 peashooters a lot of criminals seem fond of. Besides, gun
> control laws in the past haven't had any consistent effect on violent
> crime. Sometimes the crime went up, sometimes down, just what you
> would expect to happen when something has no effect.
Do THEY know this?
Celes Knight
> contributed significantly and directly to the health and well-being of
> Americans everywhere, whereas all guns do is kill people?
Actually, guns have also contributed significantly, if more indirectly, to
the health, well-being, and existence of American's everywhere. I could
list them, but you already know them, won't be convinced by them, and I
don't want to start any more of a flame fest then I already unintentionally
did. As Sir Nitram said, I was making a joke.
Celes Knight
a
> joke with a seirous issue the humor hurdle is raised. I'm thinking about
> writing a book on this kind of stuff
I might buy that book. Do you have a web page on it--it's vaguely
interesting.
>because of how common it is on the Internet..
And it's not common at professional comedy acts? Or in Boondocks, Doonsbury
and B.C.?
John Hansen
More Dangerous than Guns?) on Sun, 31 Mar 2002 22:33:14 GMT...
Well, I seem to remember a certain part of World War II, where a Japanese
general (allegedly) said that if the continental US was invaded, "there would be
a rifle hiding behind every blade of grass."
Hence the weather-balloon bombs.
--
Remove socks when replying via E-mail
Sea Skimmer
> Stim Neuro wrote:
> >
> > Dalton <r...@daltonator.net> wrote in message news:<3CA6520A...@daltonator.net>...
> > > Celes Knight wrote:
> > > >
> > > > 700,000.
> > > >
> > > > Accidental deaths caused by physicians per year:
> > > > 120,000 (AMA).
> > > >
> > > > Accidental deaths per physician:
> > > > 0.171 (U.S. Dept. of Health Human Services)
> > > >
> > > > Number of gun owners in the US: 80,000,000.
> > > > Number of accidental gun deaths per year (all age groups): 1,500.
> > > > Accidental deaths per gun owner: 0.0000188
> > > >
> > > > Statistically, doctors are approximately 9,000 times more
> > > > dangerous than gun owners.
> > > >
> > > > "FACT: Not everyone has a gun, but everyone has at
> > > > least one Doctor." Please alert your friends to this alarming
> > > > threat. We must ban doctors before this gets out of hand.
> > > >
> > > > As a Public Health Measure, I have withheld the statistic
> > > > on Lawyers for fear that the shock could cause people to
> > > > seek medical aid.
> > > >
> > > > From a mailing list at http://www.jokeaday.com/
> > >
> > > You are aware, of course, that the pro-gun nuts like Deimos creatively
> > > snip it and try to use it as a valid argument against gun control?
> >
> > "Gun Control- The theory that 110lb. women should have to fistfight
> > with 210lb. rapists."
>
> seriously delusional stupid people from acquiring a device that can kill
> many people."
They can still kill with a knife or many other things. Such a person
should not b walking the streets. A ban on guns in Japan did not stop
a crazed man from killing 11 Children and injurying another 30 with a
knife.
C.S.Strowbridge
> Anatomy of a joke
<SNIP!>
At least is stopped the Palestinian / Israeli flame war I accidentally
started.
C.S.Strowbridge
Azrael
Do not mock me, I can do that just fine on my own.
Dalton
Go ahead and stop me, sweetums :)
Azrael
I've already poisoned your donoughts. Bile will soon be spewing forth from
both ends. Enjoy. :)
Dalton
NOOOOOO!!!!!!!
Matthew Hyde
And that changes Dalton... How?
Matthew Hyde
population was more or less militarized, if not mobilized? I am tired of
hearing this "historical commonplace" tale of the Japanese general who
expressed even a little fear of W. Coast civilians just because some of
them owned guns.
Matthew Hyde
>
> "Matthew Hyde" <mdo...@mtu.edu> wrote in message
> news:3CA74530...@mtu.edu...
> > Charles Sonnenburg wrote:
> > >
> > <SNIP?
> >
> > > Here the writer provides the final reminder that it's a joke.
> >
> > Yah, but it wasn't funny :9 and besides, people who shall remain
> > nameless, like Deimos and Mark "Mark IV Mod 1" Sheppard take this shit
> > seriously.
> The village idiot and the convicted felon? That these guys take it
> seriously is the best joke of all.
Yep! But see how they dance around to places where the populace is
unaware of their reps and histories...
> The problem is what's called the proximity rule of humor; if you associate a
> joke with a seirous issue the humor hurdle is raised. I'm thinking about
> writing a book on this kind of stuff because of how common it is on the
> Internet..
UNCLE! Jeeze that's 3 in a row, hehehe.
John Hansen
More Dangerous than Guns?) on Mon, 01 Apr 2002 09:25:13 -0500...
Did you notice the (allegedly)? I wasn't quite sure as to the quote's
authenticity.
Matthew Hyde
Oh I wasn't pickin on you, but that's like the 5th time I've seen that story this week
Phong Nguyen
Admiral Yamamoto did indeed warn of that. He could be mirror imaging
though, assuming that the US would be like Japan if invaded.
It's really irrelevant, though, since Japan had not the logistical
capability to invade the US.
Arthur Tuxedo
Probably not. Doesn't really matter, though. The point is that if we
could somehow make it extremely difficult for criminals to get
handguns, most of them would just switch to sawed-offs.
Arthur Tuxedo
> Dalton <r...@daltonator.net> wrote in message news:<3CA6805F...@daltonator.net>...
> > Stim Neuro wrote:
> > >
> > > Dalton <r...@daltonator.net> wrote in message news:<3CA6520A...@daltonator.net>...
> > > > Celes Knight wrote:
> > > "Gun Control- The theory that 110lb. women should have to fistfight
> > > with 210lb. rapists."
> >
> > "Gun Control- The theory that prevents 100lb. mentally unstable and
> > seriously delusional stupid people from acquiring a device that can kill
> > many people."
>
> They can still kill with a knife or many other things. Such a person
> should not b walking the streets. A ban on guns in Japan did not stop
> a crazed man from killing 11 Children and injurying another 30 with a
> knife.
A man with a knife can be stopped a lot easier than someone with a
gun. Notice how the guy only killed children? Killing someone with a
knife isn't just a matter of sticking them and watching them die. If
you pay attention to descriptions of knife murders, you'll see that
the victims were usually stabbed 30 or more times before they died.
Also, a gun adds a certain amount of detachment. It takes a lot less
courage to pull a trigger than to bludgeon someone to death.
I may be against most gun control, but I don't buy the argument that
it's just as easy to kill someone without a gun as with. My problem
with most gun control is that it doesn't work and it disempowers the
populace. Now, I'm not one of these nutjobs who thinks the gov't is
gonna throw out the bill of rights the minute our guns are gone, but
who can tell what is gonna happen decades from now? A lot of shit can
go down in 30 years, and I'd rather see a population that can handle
itself if it hit the fan.
Matthew Hyde
Arthur Tuxedo
> So, the question is, should I get a Beretta, or a Glock?
Why choose? Get both :)
Matthew Hyde
heheh. I like rugers too. The big aluminum ones.