[TGOD] DarkStar gets his due

48 views
Skip to first unread message

Wayne Poe

unread,
Oct 6, 2002, 3:40:30 AM10/6/02
to

203 N. 39th St.
Hattysburg, Mississippi, 10:55pm.

The black van slowed to a stop in front of the apartment house. Its leaf
springs groaned with relief as its occupants exited the vehicle, and stood
in front of it. Three black clad men stared up at the target apartment, each
of them holding an instrument of destruction. As if by unseen signal, the
trio suddenly started toward the building, purposeful strides a testament to
their awful intent.

The pounding on his apartment door was wholly unexpected, making him spill
most of the Fruit Loops all over the computer keyboard in front of him,
where the sugary milk intermingled with other, less palatable stains.
DarkStar stared at the closed door to his apartment, wondering who it could
possibly be. He hadn't had money for takeout for months.

Shakily, DarkStar saved the document he was typing on his computer, then
stood from his milkcrate he was sitting on, and approached the door.

"Who is it?" he asked.

His answer came in the form of splintering wood, as his door disintegrated
in front of him. DarkStar flung his arms in front of his face, as he was
thrown to the potato sack covered floor. When he looked up to where the door
was, he saw three men filling the doorway. The looks on their faces left no
doubt in his mind that they were delivering nothing but torment.

One of the men stepped forward. He was heavyset, and carried a black
aluminum baseball bat.

"Are you.DarkStar?"

"Who.who wants to know.?"

The bat whistled in the air, striking DarkStar directly on his bald pate. He
spun, was thrown into a pile of clothes, where he screamed as he held his
head in his hands.

"WHAT THE FUCK? WHAT THE FUCK?"

The heavyset man walked over to DarkStar, and crouched in front of him.

"I'm only gonna ask you this once more," the man said, a heavy New York
accent peppering his words. "Are you DarkStar?"

"Y-YES!" DarkStar screamed.

The man stood, smiled, and offered a hand to help DarkStar to his feet.
Reflexively, DarkStar took it, and was hoisted to his feet. He began to ask
a question, when once again the bat swung again, slamming into his left
kneecap. DarkStar screamed, slammed to the floor, holding his shattered knee
as he writhed in incredible pain. Quickly, he looked to see what the man was
about to do next. What he saw was the man's back as he stood near DarkStar's
computer, studying the screen. The two other men walked into the room at
that point, walked toward him, staring at him.

Shakily, DarkStar clapped his hands, and the room was illuminated with a
sickly yellowish glow from the single lightbulb hanging from the low
ceiling. The men stopped advancing. And simply stared at their victim. With
a thrill of fear, DarkStar recognized his late night (or was it morning?)
visitors.

"I know you, ALL of you!" he whined. He pointed to the man with the bat.
"You, you're.Dalton!"

Dalton simply stared at the pathetic excuse for a man. The other men
surrounded the human pile of shit, as he named them.

"Wong! What are you doing here? And..oh no..Poe? Is that."

The huge man named Poe backhanded DarkStar full in the mouth, sending him
crashing through piled trash in a corner. The man named Wong picked up one
of many thick document lying near the computer. After a cursory examination,
he flipped through the pages, his eyebrows arching in realization.

"He really CAN'T afford a TV. These are screencaps of the StarWars movies he
's printed from the internet and made into a flip-book."

"So that's why he's so completely wrong about the facts of the films,"
Dalton observed.

DarkStar began to protest, but Poe suddenly grabbed him by what little hair
he had and pulled him to a standing position. Poe stood directly in front of
him, staring him down. He spoke in a quiet, menacing whisper.

"The canon policy, as is properly understood and implemented by everyone
with a functioning brain, is that the movies, scripts novelizations, and
radio plays are canon. The EU materials are officially accepted Star Wars
fact, where the do not contradict the canon."

"I beg to differ," DarkStar said. "The proper-"

He never finished his sentence, as Poe interrupted his spiel by grabbing the
back of his head and slamming his face into the computer desk. Poe then
grabbed DarkStar again, and slammed his face even harder into the drywall of
DarkStar's apartment.

"NO! GOD IN HEAVEN STOP!!" DarkStar pleaded through broken teeth and busted
lips, as Poe stood in front of him once again.

Poe stared at DarkStar, willing the whiny little bastard to be quiet. When
he was satisfied, he spoke once again.

"The canon policy, as is properly understood and implemented by everyone
with a functioning brain, is that the movies, scripts novelizations, and
radio plays are canon. The EU materials are officially accepted Star Wars
fact, where the do not contradict the canon."

DarkStar stared into the eyes of Poe, seeing the deadly evil menace behind
them.

"Yes, yes..I agree." He cried.

Satisfied, Poe turned as if to go. DarkStar breathed a sigh of relief.
Suddenly Poe spun around, a ham sized palm slamming into DarkStar's face.
DarkStar screamed, then turned to Poe again. Poe stared at DarkStar once
more, daring him to retaliate. When none came, Poe backhanded the pathetic
bastard again, watching DarkStar scream like David Spade on helium. He faced
DarkStar once more, and waited. Goading him to take a swing. When none came,
Poe spat in DarkStar's face, then stood his ground, stared again. Nothing.
Disgusted, Poe turned and walked away.

As he did, the man called Wong walked over, and stood over the shaking
excuse for a man.

"The Death Star," Wong began, "Has the ability to destroy a planet.."

"Through a special chain reaction, which we see when it fires on the
unshielded surface of Alder.."

Wong walked over to DarkStar's computer, and ripped the keyboard from the
tower. He advanced on DarkStar, who back away, limping toward the back wall
of his apartment. Wong swung the keyboard, connecting with DarkStar's
already ruined face, then proceeded to beat the cowering, screaming man with
it until only a few pieces of the keyboard were left.

Dalton walked over and pounded to bat into DarkStar's ribs. Poe came over to
deliver a few well placed devastating kicks.

"PLEASE! PLEASE STOOOP!" DarkStar screamed again.

Poe and Dalton withdrew slowly, and walked toward the front door. Wong
crouched near the fallen asshole. DarkStar stated into the eyes of his
superior.

"The Death Star," Wong began...

Wayne Poe

unread,
Oct 6, 2002, 3:37:46 AM10/6/02
to

WeeMadAndo

unread,
Oct 6, 2002, 3:49:48 AM10/6/02
to
Double post... [Nelson voice] Ha-Hah! [/Nelson voice]

--
WeeMadAndo
Blue sparks and white smoke, the two most expensive components of any
electrical system. Once you've used them, it costs a fortune to replace
them.


Spyder

unread,
Oct 6, 2002, 4:28:14 AM10/6/02
to
Hey wow, he's getting his due in stereo.

--
/ \
_ \ / _
\ \ __ / /
_____________________________\__\ / \ /__/_____________________________
\______________________________\_\\ //_/______________________________/
\ \_\\//_/ /
\ / //\\ \ /
\ _/ // \\ \_ /
\________________________/__/_> <_\__\ _______________________/
_/ / \ / \ \_

Kazuaki Shimazaki

unread,
Oct 6, 2002, 4:29:23 AM10/6/02
to
"Wayne Poe" <lo...@h4h.com> wrote in message
news:upvq83c...@corp.supernews.com...
<snip>

You not only double-posted, but you made ole' Robert Scott sound almost
human. Can't you make him more a goon? I /almost/ felt sorry for him reading
this post, getting ganged up by the "Evil Warsie Conspiracy" (as he would
call us) for having a different opinion over ST versus SW (though his
position is totally sick.) At least make him form his stupidity into some
kind of spiritual weapon or some other such shit, so it'll sound proper to
kill him :-)


Colin'The Yosemite Bear'Witz

unread,
Oct 6, 2002, 5:04:49 AM10/6/02
to

"Wayne Poe" <lo...@h4h.com> wrote in message
news:upvq83c...@corp.supernews.com...
>

Damn no entombing him while he was still alive?


Ben Robbins

unread,
Oct 6, 2002, 8:25:02 AM10/6/02
to

...yet.

Phong Nguyen

unread,
Oct 6, 2002, 10:20:42 AM10/6/02
to
"WeeMadAndo" <weema...@sluggy.net> wrote in news:anopse$fq57v$1@ID-
21694.news.dfncis.de:

> Double post... [Nelson voice] Ha-Hah! [/Nelson voice]
>

He's trying to boost his SGOTM byte count, shhh...

Cmdrwilkens

unread,
Oct 6, 2002, 2:31:49 PM10/6/02
to
"Ben Robbins" <robbins...@hotmail.com> wrote in message
news:csa0qusr7oga48akl...@4ax.com...

Even if Poe did it DarkStar would turn out to be some creepy slasher flick
villan who mysteriously keeps coming back no matter how many times you kill
him....wait that's what he already is.

--
Lcpl Burnett, G.R.
USMCR
BridgeCo B 6th EngSptBN 4th FSSG

"Weapons do not penetrate armour based on force and pressure"
- IXJac(taken from SB.com and SD.net)

"I'm a genocidal maniac, hold me."
-Anakin Vader


Wayne Poe

unread,
Oct 6, 2002, 2:47:08 PM10/6/02
to

"Kazuaki Shimazaki" <kras...@netvigator.com> wrote

> You not only double-posted,

It was my evil twin! I swear!!

> but you made ole' Robert Scott sound almost
> human.

Whoa, whoa, whoa...I never mentioned anyone named Robert Scott in the story.
This is about someone named DarkStar....

;)

> Can't you make him more a goon? I /almost/ felt sorry for him reading
> this post, getting ganged up by the "Evil Warsie Conspiracy" (as he would
> call us) for having a different opinion over ST versus SW (though his
> position is totally sick.) At least make him form his stupidity into some
> kind of spiritual weapon or some other such shit, so it'll sound proper to
> kill him :-)

Actually, I wanted to present the closest depiction to DarkStar as we can
get from his posts. But anyone here is perfectly welcome to add to the
story!


Kazuaki Shimazaki

unread,
Oct 6, 2002, 6:46:59 PM10/6/02
to
"Wayne Poe" <lo...@h4h.com> wrote in message
news:uq119e...@corp.supernews.com...
>
> "Kazuaki Shimazaki" <kras...@netvigator.com> wrote
<snip>

> Whoa, whoa, whoa...I never mentioned anyone named Robert Scott in the
story.
> This is about someone named DarkStar....
>
> ;)

You are not fooling anyone and you know it :-)

> > Can't you make him more a goon? I /almost/ felt sorry for him reading
> > this post, getting ganged up by the "Evil Warsie Conspiracy" (as he
would
> > call us) for having a different opinion over ST versus SW (though his
> > position is totally sick.) At least make him form his stupidity into
some
> > kind of spiritual weapon or some other such shit, so it'll sound proper
to
> > kill him :-)
>
> Actually, I wanted to present the closest depiction to DarkStar as we can
> get from his posts. But anyone here is perfectly welcome to add to the
> story!

Oh well, too bad I am a poor storywriter, PLUS have no experience in TGOD. I
was just thinking at least he could fight back a little.


Colin'The Yosemite Bear'Witz

unread,
Oct 6, 2002, 8:10:01 PM10/6/02
to

"Cmdrwilkens" <burn...@comcast.net> wrote in message
news:anpvkl$gh6k0$1...@ID-97732.news.dfncis.de...
Yes, but I figure if we at least seal him up alive (Ala the other Poe) you have
a few tons of Masonry and Concrete for him to wear down his fingers clawing
through to get to his computer.


WeeMadAndo

unread,
Oct 6, 2002, 9:18:16 PM10/6/02
to
> 203 N. 39th St.
> Hattysburg, Mississippi, 10:55pm.

Tell me that this address is genuine...

We must continue compiling the addresses of trolls.

Wayne Poe

unread,
Oct 6, 2002, 10:39:30 PM10/6/02
to

"WeeMadAndo" <weema...@sluggy.net> wrote

> > 203 N. 39th St.
> > Hattysburg, Mississippi, 10:55pm.
>
> Tell me that this address is genuine...
>
> We must continue compiling the addresses of trolls.

Nope, this is a fictitious address.

But real ones have been posted...


Cmdrwilkens

unread,
Oct 7, 2002, 12:38:41 AM10/7/02
to
"Wayne Poe" <lo...@h4h.com> wrote in message
news:uq1sv4h...@corp.supernews.com...

Such as at, I believe, the RSA FAQ.

Sir Nitram

unread,
Oct 7, 2002, 12:45:14 AM10/7/02
to
>"Wayne Poe" <lo...@h4h.com> wrote in message
>news:uq1sv4h...@corp.supernews.com...
>>
>> "WeeMadAndo" <weema...@sluggy.net> wrote
>>
>> > > 203 N. 39th St.
>> > > Hattysburg, Mississippi, 10:55pm.
>> >
>> > Tell me that this address is genuine...
>> >
>> > We must continue compiling the addresses of trolls.
>>
>> Nope, this is a fictitious address.
>>
>> But real ones have been posted...
>>
>
>Such as at, I believe, the RSA FAQ.
>

If I were more motivated, I'd send whoever's maintaining that some stuff
similar to what was done against Jones.
--
SirNitram
ASVS Small Gods Keeper and Amateur Genius

Uptight Christians pray for God to save themselves.
Upright Christians pray for God to save others in need.

"And they say that a hero can save us, I'm not gonna stand here to wait..."
-Hero

His Divine Shadow

unread,
Oct 7, 2002, 10:25:27 AM10/7/02
to
*snip*

I had more though of it as a truck driving at high speed towards DarkStars
house, whilst the Benny Hill or Surfin' Bird song is playing in the
background, then about 30 Clonetroopers come out of the car, even though
thats not possible, smash in the door, knocks out DS and throws him in the
trunk.

Beowulf

unread,
Oct 7, 2002, 8:31:59 PM10/7/02
to
"Kazuaki Shimazaki" <kras...@netvigator.com> wrote in
news:anqf8a$gd3q9$1...@ID-144261.news.dfncis.de:

> Oh well, too bad I am a poor storywriter,

<snip>

We know. *points to SDR*

DarkStar

unread,
Oct 7, 2002, 11:38:00 PM10/7/02
to

"Wayne Poe" <lo...@h4h.com> wrote in message
news:upvq83c...@corp.supernews.com...

> The black van slowed to a stop in front of the apartment house.

To paraphrase Sisko:

"And *that* is why you're not a sick, twisted bastard?"

My only concern in such a situation would be that you and Dalton's "Lump
Club" status might provide you with shields against bullets, in the form of
tons of lard. Of course, that will also mean you'll be advancing slowly,
like some sort of human glaciers . . . so I'd have time to carefully aim for
those two little neurons that you can only sporadically rub together.


Wayne Poe

unread,
Oct 8, 2002, 12:25:58 AM10/8/02
to

"DarkStar" <afina...@hotmail.com> wrote

> My only concern in such a situation would be that you and Dalton's "Lump
> Club" status might provide you with shields against bullets, in the form
of
> tons of lard. Of course, that will also mean you'll be advancing slowly,
> like some sort of human glaciers . . . so I'd have time to carefully aim
for
> those two little neurons that you can only sporadically rub together.

And how will you afford bullets for this imaginary gun of yours? You can't
even afford to rent a video...


"Fans know who's really responsible for whatever real quality KISS had in
their music, that's why they still remember me today from all over the world
and care about me."
--Vinnie Vincent

Kazuaki Shimazaki

unread,
Oct 8, 2002, 12:43:43 AM10/8/02
to
"Beowulf" <mkhQ...@ucdavis.edu> wrote in message
news:Xns92A0B259EA...@130.133.1.4...

Stop promoting painful memories.


Dalton

unread,
Oct 8, 2002, 12:47:15 AM10/8/02
to

Don't you have some customers to support, phone monkey?

--
Rob "Roby" Dalton
http://daltonator.net

America: Never attribute to stupidity that
which can be adequately explained by malice.

Eleas

unread,
Oct 8, 2002, 10:09:06 AM10/8/02
to
"Kazuaki Shimazaki" <kras...@netvigator.com> wrote in news:antnjh$gmuup
$1...@ID-144261.news.dfncis.de:

*bursts through the door, gunning down Beowulf, then pointing the muzzle
at Kaz' face*

IT DOES NOT EXIST, citizen! Do you understand?

--
Björn

Phong Nguyen

unread,
Oct 8, 2002, 3:10:06 PM10/8/02
to
Eleas <fenix...@yahoo.com> wrote in
news:Xns92A1A42C76971f...@130.133.1.4:

::calmly walks in and breaks Eleas's gun::

All must know of the fate of Kaz and the unholy SDR, lest it happen to
themselves.

Beowulf

unread,
Oct 8, 2002, 4:03:55 PM10/8/02
to
"Kazuaki Shimazaki" <kras...@netvigator.com> wrote in news:antnjh$gmuup$1
@ID-144261.news.dfncis.de:

Why not? It's fun!

Beowulf

unread,
Oct 8, 2002, 4:26:20 PM10/8/02
to
Phong Nguyen <phong....@deadspam.com> wrote in
news:Xns92A19A4C37B2C...@130.133.1.4:

::Gets up from floor, picks up his shotgun, and blows away Eleas with 00
buckshot::

Now I'm going to have a couple bruises... Ow.

Eleas

unread,
Oct 8, 2002, 4:48:36 PM10/8/02
to

> Path: uni-berlin.de!dsl-246.tbi.NET!not-for-mail
> From: Phong Nguyen <phong....@deadspam.com>
> Newsgroups: alt.startrek.vs.starwars
> Subject: Re: [TGOD] DarkStar gets his due
> Date: 8 Oct 2002 19:10:06 GMT
> Lines: 29
> Message-ID: <Xns92A19A4C37B2C...@130.133.1.4>
> References: <upvq83c...@corp.supernews.com>
> <anosnl$fn2v9$1...@ID-144261.news.dfncis.de>
> <uq119e...@corp.supernews.com>
> <anqf8a$gd3q9$1...@ID-144261.news.dfncis.de>
> <Xns92A0B259EA...@130.133.1.4>
> <antnjh$gmuup$1...@ID-144261.news.dfncis.de>
> <Xns92A1A42C76971f...@130.133.1.4> NNTP-Posting-Host:
> dsl-246.tbi.net (207.204.243.246) X-Trace: fu-berlin.de 1034104206
> 18532224 207.204.243.246 (16 [17677]) User-Agent: Xnews/5.04.25
> X-Face:
> 9~Da5U,#'|iCWV^1m|3_#:Kp%6ObV;}\,ez1[~YX>RkoNRI+|KqOwk038_b#D|y2p'7yVBu
> zD$1o+:DCy\X8yc%%INO<@34:bvc[Cu-]G|m:A9,l8NFqlqfN;/0kK1K3V^v{s4F;Q0Yn3;
> W*'Fxd@[?2p\sTXX8Kai7Acd"Dj&[rPt!XQ6e6q6F?pT/+*AQ9-{4$c`%fwTNQxV=WxLw)7
> qopH=gAZ#0{y_ep28%]SWZHgr%"px)?[[b+LAz7KXw`-SBs+V|M(8GsS[S~Om;d/5ywMi5~
> iD*Zr}c(efR*ttVF{5wM Xref: uni-berlin.de
> alt.startrek.vs.starwars:348316

Conceded. But you still broke my gun. *draws Katana and sheathes it,
leaving Phong's severed head on the floor* Apologies, Phong-san. But this
was necessary to preserve my honor.

--
Björn

PS. Just kidding, Phong!

Beowulf

unread,
Oct 8, 2002, 4:50:56 PM10/8/02
to
Eleas <fenix...@yahoo.com> wrote in
news:Xns92A1E7E5BDF43f...@130.133.1.4:

>> Eleas <fenix...@yahoo.com> wrote in
>> news:Xns92A1A42C76971f...@130.133.1.4:
>>
>>> "Kazuaki Shimazaki" <kras...@netvigator.com> wrote in news:antnjh
>> $gmuup
>>> $1...@ID-144261.news.dfncis.de:
>>>
>>>> "Beowulf" <mkhQ...@ucdavis.edu> wrote in message
>>>> news:Xns92A0B259EA...@130.133.1.4...
>>>>> "Kazuaki Shimazaki" <kras...@netvigator.com> wrote in
>>>>> news:anqf8a$gd3q9$1...@ID-144261.news.dfncis.de:
>>>>>
>>>>> > Oh well, too bad I am a poor storywriter,
>>>>> <snip>
>>>>>
>>>>> We know. *points to SDR*
>>>>
>>>> Stop promoting painful memories.
>>>
>>> *bursts through the door, gunning down Beowulf, then pointing the
>> muzzle
>>> at Kaz' face*
>>>
>>> IT DOES NOT EXIST, citizen! Do you understand?
>>>
>>::calmly walks in and breaks Eleas's gun::
>>
>> All must know of the fate of Kaz and the unholy SDR, lest it happen
>> to themselves.
>
> Conceded. But you still broke my gun. *draws Katana and sheathes it,
> leaving Phong's severed head on the floor* Apologies, Phong-san. But
> this was necessary to preserve my honor.
>

Damn it!

::blows off Eleas' head::
And something's wrong w/ your newreader...
::shoots him again::

Eleas

unread,
Oct 8, 2002, 4:52:56 PM10/8/02
to
Eleas <fenix...@yahoo.com> wrote in
news:Xns92A1E7E5BDF43f...@130.133.1.4:

> Path: uni-berlin.de!169.237.52.205!not-for-mail
> From: Beowulf <mkhQ...@ucdavis.edu>


> Newsgroups: alt.startrek.vs.starwars
> Subject: Re: [TGOD] DarkStar gets his due

> Date: 8 Oct 2002 20:26:20 GMT
> Lines: 37
> Message-ID: <Xns92A188B363...@130.133.1.4>

> <Xns92A19A4C37B2C...@130.133.1.4> NNTP-Posting-Host:
> 169.237.52.205 X-Trace: fu-berlin.de 1034108780 18617841
> 169.237.52.205 (16 [63251]) User-Agent: Xnews/5.04.25
> Xref: uni-berlin.de alt.startrek.vs.starwars:348326

>> Eleas <fenix...@yahoo.com> wrote in
>> news:Xns92A1A42C76971f...@130.133.1.4:
>>
>>> "Kazuaki Shimazaki" <kras...@netvigator.com> wrote in news:antnjh
>> $gmuup
>>> $1...@ID-144261.news.dfncis.de:
>>>
>>>> "Beowulf" <mkhQ...@ucdavis.edu> wrote in message
>>>> news:Xns92A0B259EA...@130.133.1.4...
>>>>> "Kazuaki Shimazaki" <kras...@netvigator.com> wrote in
>>>>> news:anqf8a$gd3q9$1...@ID-144261.news.dfncis.de:
>>>>>
>>>>> > Oh well, too bad I am a poor storywriter,
>>>>> <snip>
>>>>>
>>>>> We know. *points to SDR*
>>>>
>>>> Stop promoting painful memories.
>>>
>>> *bursts through the door, gunning down Beowulf, then pointing the
>> muzzle
>>> at Kaz' face*
>>>
>>> IT DOES NOT EXIST, citizen! Do you understand?
>>>
>>::calmly walks in and breaks Eleas's gun::
>>
>> All must know of the fate of Kaz and the unholy SDR, lest it happen
>> to themselves.
>

>::Gets up from floor, picks up his shotgun, and blows away Eleas with
>::00
> buckshot::
>
> Now I'm going to have a couple bruises... Ow.

Indeed. *rises up, shrugs, and whisk! goes the Katana and Beowulf's
aorta* Apologies again, Beowulf-sama, but your attack was most
dishonorable. Even my kevlar vest took exception to that.

--
Björn

Eleas

unread,
Oct 8, 2002, 4:54:47 PM10/8/02
to
Eleas <fenix...@yahoo.com> wrote in
news:Xns92A1E8A21D3BEf...@130.133.1.4:

> Path: uni-berlin.de!169.237.52.205!not-for-mail
> From: Beowulf <mkhQ...@ucdavis.edu>
> Newsgroups: alt.startrek.vs.starwars
> Subject: Re: [TGOD] DarkStar gets his due

> Date: 8 Oct 2002 20:50:56 GMT
> Lines: 47
> Message-ID: <Xns92A18CDF08...@130.133.1.4>

> <Xns92A1E7E5BDF43f...@130.133.1.4> NNTP-Posting-Host:
> 169.237.52.205 X-Trace: fu-berlin.de 1034110256 18699756


> 169.237.52.205 (16 [63251]) User-Agent: Xnews/5.04.25

> Xref: uni-berlin.de alt.startrek.vs.starwars:348331

>> Phong Nguyen <phong....@deadspam.com> wrote in
>> news:Xns92A19A4C37B2C...@130.133.1.4:
>>
>>>
>>> Eleas <fenix...@yahoo.com> wrote in
>>> news:Xns92A1A42C76971f...@130.133.1.4:
>>>
>>>> "Kazuaki Shimazaki" <kras...@netvigator.com> wrote in news:antnjh
>>> $gmuup
>>>> $1...@ID-144261.news.dfncis.de:
>>>>
>>>>> "Beowulf" <mkhQ...@ucdavis.edu> wrote in message
>>>>> news:Xns92A0B259EA...@130.133.1.4...
>>>>>> "Kazuaki Shimazaki" <kras...@netvigator.com> wrote in
>>>>>> news:anqf8a$gd3q9$1...@ID-144261.news.dfncis.de:
>>>>>>
>>>>>> > Oh well, too bad I am a poor storywriter,
>>>>>> <snip>
>>>>>>
>>>>>> We know. *points to SDR*
>>>>>
>>>>> Stop promoting painful memories.
>>>>
>>>> *bursts through the door, gunning down Beowulf, then pointing the
>>> muzzle
>>>> at Kaz' face*
>>>>
>>>> IT DOES NOT EXIST, citizen! Do you understand?
>>>>
>>>::calmly walks in and breaks Eleas's gun::
>>>
>>> All must know of the fate of Kaz and the unholy SDR, lest it happen
>>> to themselves.
>>

>> Conceded. But you still broke my gun. *draws Katana and sheathes it,
>> leaving Phong's severed head on the floor* Apologies, Phong-san. But
>> this was necessary to preserve my honor.
>>
>

> Damn it!
>
>::blows off Eleas' head::
> And something's wrong w/ your newreader...
>::shoots him again::

Be quiet, you are DEAD!

..

What's wrong with my reader?

--
Björn

Beowulf

unread,
Oct 8, 2002, 5:49:01 PM10/8/02
to
Eleas <fenix...@yahoo.com> wrote in
news:Xns92A1E8F2585FCf...@130.133.1.4:

seems to be adding a lot of the header to the post...
And that was a hologram that you tried to chop the head off of... I'm
behind you... 1 mi behind you...
:: watches Eleas turn around in his scope, lines up the crosshairs on
his torso, and pulls the trigger on his .50 BMG rifle::

Eleas

unread,
Oct 8, 2002, 6:04:01 PM10/8/02
to
Beowulf <mkhQ...@ucdavis.edu> wrote in news:Xns92A196B781882TIEbeowulf@
130.133.1.4:

>>> Damn it!
>>>
>>>::blows off Eleas' head::
>>> And something's wrong w/ your newreader...
>>>::shoots him again::
>>
>> Be quiet, you are DEAD!
>>
>> ..
>>
>> What's wrong with my reader?
>>
>
> seems to be adding a lot of the header to the post...
> And that was a hologram that you tried to chop the head off of... I'm
> behind you... 1 mi behind you...
>:: watches Eleas turn around in his scope, lines up the crosshairs on
> his torso, and pulls the trigger on his .50 BMG rifle::

Ah, let's hope this works better, then.

*casually twitches away from the bullet's path. smiles. clicks a secret
transmitter once. watches with binoculars the beheaded corpse slumped over
his sniper rifle.* Hmmm, Beowulf really should be more careful of the Red
Dawn. Surely he knows that we're never alone..?

--
Björn

Beowulf

unread,
Oct 8, 2002, 6:09:12 PM10/8/02
to
Eleas <fenix...@yahoo.com> wrote in
news:Xns92A28AF609fe...@130.133.1.4:

::Stands up after killing the assasin::
Honestly Eleas you should be more careful choosing who you'll send
against me...
:: Watches the area around Eleas get blown to smitheerens by a B-52 arc-
light mission::

Eleas

unread,
Oct 8, 2002, 6:30:17 PM10/8/02
to
Beowulf <mkhQ...@ucdavis.edu> wrote in news:Xns92A19A23B7845TIEbeowulf@
130.133.1.4:

Beowulf raised the radio in satisfaction. The dust raised by titanic
explosions was slowly returning to the earth in plumes of grey. There was
no sign of Eleas. He clicked the transmitter.

"Well, Commander, thanks for helping me out. Whew, I sure don't know how
I managed to survive being beheaded... hey, wait, why are you coming
about?"

There was no answer, and with mounting dread, Beowulf watched rows of
bombs, infinitesimal in the great distance, leave the B-52's great cargo
bays. Gaping in shock, he tried to run, but his legs had turned to jelly.
Finally, he managed a few unsteady strides, and then the world seemed to
disappear in a great roar and a shaking of earth.

Eleas grinned as his copilot handed him a small palm computer. The thrum
of the B-52's great engines was a great counterpoint to watching shrapnel
slicing the hapless Beowulf into peices. Eleas could see he was still
alive through all that, until a larger piece whipped his head clean from
the body. Smiling to himself, Eleas contemplated the benefits of stolen
transporter technology, and allowed the B-52 to take him back to base.

--
Björn

Beowulf

unread,
Oct 8, 2002, 6:40:58 PM10/8/02
to
Eleas <fenix...@yahoo.com> wrote in
news:Xns92A24FE4DD3fe...@130.133.1.4:

Eleas, Eleas, Eleas...

You're contradicting yourself...
Anyway the bunker I was in protected me from the blasts. The hologram
generator up top didn't survive...
:: pushes a button... watches the B-52 flight explode ::
Then again, neither did you.

Eleas

unread,
Oct 8, 2002, 6:55:46 PM10/8/02
to
Beowulf <mkhQ...@ucdavis.edu> wrote in news:Xns92A19F86ABE11TIEbeowulf@
130.133.1.4:

I'd like to know where I'm contradicting myself, please. Particularly
given your penchant for convenient holograms that can kill people and
retain complete solidity and tactility.

--
Björn

Phong Nguyen

unread,
Oct 8, 2002, 7:13:33 PM10/8/02
to
Eleas <fenix...@yahoo.com> wrote in
news:Xns92A1E7E5BDF43f...@130.133.1.4:

>>> IT DOES NOT EXIST, citizen! Do you understand?
>>>
>>::calmly walks in and breaks Eleas's gun::
>>
>> All must know of the fate of Kaz and the unholy SDR, lest it happen
>> to themselves.
>
> Conceded. But you still broke my gun. *draws Katana and sheathes it,
> leaving Phong's severed head on the floor* Apologies, Phong-san. But
> this was necessary to preserve my honor.
>

::head & body get teleported elsewhere, at which point they are
reattached::

Your honor is preserved, Eleas. But understanding only dawns upon you.

Eleas

unread,
Oct 8, 2002, 7:16:11 PM10/8/02
to
Phong Nguyen <phong....@deadspam.com> wrote in
news:Xns92A1C392580D1...@130.133.1.4:

*bows* So I have surmised, Phong-san. I shall cultivate it with care.

--
Björn

Beowulf

unread,
Oct 8, 2002, 7:20:58 PM10/8/02
to
Eleas <fenix...@yahoo.com> wrote in
news:Xns92A29507A825f...@130.133.1.4:

::points toward star trek:: only thing in there that's approaching
::useful in TGODs

Anyway, you pointed out that I was decapitated, and then you said i was
decapitated by a larger piece of shrapnel...

Of course, my explaination is that your guy got decapitated.

Eleas

unread,
Oct 8, 2002, 7:43:08 PM10/8/02
to
Beowulf <mkhQ...@ucdavis.edu> wrote in news:Xns92A1A64EE60A9TIEbeowulf@
130.133.1.4:

My explanation was that you were decapitated and reattached your head by
sheer force of will. That would be a better explanation, as your own holo
had no obvious way to decapitate my unknown assassin and dress him up in
its own holoclothes and position him correctly, all in the tame it would
take for my char to raise his binocs to his eyes.

The thing is, when I TGOD, I look for something a little more challenging
than "oh, your ship explodes" or "well, your character just died".

---
Björn

Beowulf

unread,
Oct 8, 2002, 7:52:52 PM10/8/02
to
Eleas <fenix...@yahoo.com> wrote in
news:Xns92A21157DD2DDf...@130.133.1.4:

<snippage>


> My explanation was that you were decapitated and reattached your head
> by sheer force of will. That would be a better explanation, as your
> own holo had no obvious way to decapitate my unknown assassin and
> dress him up in its own holoclothes and position him correctly, all in
> the tame it would take for my char to raise his binocs to his eyes.
>
> The thing is, when I TGOD, I look for something a little more
> challenging than "oh, your ship explodes" or "well, your character
> just died".

Well, considering it was my B-52 to you were flying, it seems obvious
that I would have some way to track it, and the convient SAM site nearby
just made it as simple as pushing a button.

Anyway, you had no way of getting from ground to the B-52 between when I
ordered the arclight mission and when the B-52 showed up...

Also, why would I have to have something obvious to decapitate your
assasin, force fields work perfectly fine for cutting, and then I just
merely have to project the clothing onto him. Also, you have no way of
knowing the correct position of the body...

And what the hell is up w/ Xnews? It keeps on moving my caret around
when I'm typing!

Cmdrwilkens

unread,
Oct 8, 2002, 9:06:26 PM10/8/02
to
"Dalton" <r...@daltonator.net> wrote in message
news:3DA26353...@daltonator.net...

> DarkStar wrote:
> >
> > "Wayne Poe" <lo...@h4h.com> wrote in message
> > news:upvq83c...@corp.supernews.com...
> >
> > > The black van slowed to a stop in front of the apartment house.
> >
> > To paraphrase Sisko:
> >
> > "And *that* is why you're not a sick, twisted bastard?"
> >
> > My only concern in such a situation would be that you and Dalton's "Lump
> > Club" status might provide you with shields against bullets, in the form
of
> > tons of lard. Of course, that will also mean you'll be advancing
slowly,
> > like some sort of human glaciers . . . so I'd have time to carefully aim
for
> > those two little neurons that you can only sporadically rub together.
>
> Don't you have some customers to support, phone monkey?
>

I'm sure he doesn't, everyone long ago realized they ought to ask someone
who knows what they are talking about.

--
Lcpl Burnett, G.R.
USMCR
BridgeCo B 6th EngSptBN 4th FSSG

"Weapons do not penetrate armour based on force and pressure"
- IXJac(taken from SB.com and SD.net)

"I'm a genocidal maniac, hold me."
-Anakin Vader


Eleas

unread,
Oct 9, 2002, 7:59:44 AM10/9/02
to
Beowulf <mkhQ...@ucdavis.edu> wrote in news:Xns92A1ABB6E93DATIEbeowulf@
130.133.1.4:

> Eleas <fenix...@yahoo.com> wrote in
> news:Xns92A21157DD2DDf...@130.133.1.4:
>
> <snippage>
>> My explanation was that you were decapitated and reattached your head
>> by sheer force of will. That would be a better explanation, as your
>> own holo had no obvious way to decapitate my unknown assassin and
>> dress him up in its own holoclothes and position him correctly, all in
>> the tame it would take for my char to raise his binocs to his eyes.
>>
>> The thing is, when I TGOD, I look for something a little more
>> challenging than "oh, your ship explodes" or "well, your character
>> just died".
>
> Well, considering it was my B-52 to you were flying, it seems obvious
> that I would have some way to track it, and the convient SAM site
nearby
> just made it as simple as pushing a button.

It does seem obvious that you *might* have had some way to track it. It
does not follow that you had some unspecified way to destroy it. As I
said, in a TGOD, one typically demonstrated *how* an action is performed,
instead of just that it *was*. You write this in the description of the
action.

But of course, we can do this your way. In that case, you're dead and I'm
alive. And I won't decide on how it happened until you've answered this
post. Fun, isn't it?

> Anyway, you had no way of getting from ground to the B-52 between when
I
> ordered the arclight mission and when the B-52 showed up...

"Smiling to himself, Eleas contemplated the benefits of stolen

transporter technology, and allowed the B-52 to take him back to base."

You may want to reevaluate that statement.



> Also, why would I have to have something obvious to decapitate your
> assasin, force fields work perfectly fine for cutting, and then I just
> merely have to project the clothing onto him. Also, you have no way of
> knowing the correct position of the body...

Over the sniper rifle. Your character had just fired. When you killed my
assassin, you didn't mention anything about your character being a holo.
This, again, was an undefined "no, cuz you're dead" ploy, as exciting as
ever. You only defined him as a holo later, to be able to escape yet
again.

I haven't seen this in any TGOD yet, because most people have the sense
to, well, not do this.



> And what the hell is up w/ Xnews? It keeps on moving my caret around
> when I'm typing!

I've had some problems meself. These disappeared when I emptied the
cache. If you've got the cache set to storing everything, that might be
the problem.

Oh, and don't take my crankiness the wrong way. I've just had a really
bad week and am not the most sociable of primates.

--
Björn

Kazuaki Shimazaki

unread,
Oct 9, 2002, 8:43:02 AM10/9/02
to
"Beowulf" <mkhQ...@ucdavis.edu> wrote in message
news:Xns92A184E62C...@130.133.1.4...

Thank me. I just started what seems to be another TGOD tangent :-)


John Hansen

unread,
Oct 9, 2002, 11:27:45 AM10/9/02
to
"DarkStar" <afina...@hotmail.com> opened Pandora's Box (cleverly disguised
as <oCKdnVi1AOC...@News.GigaNews.Com>) on Mon, 7 Oct 2002 22:38:00
-0500...

>
>"Wayne Poe" <lo...@h4h.com> wrote in message
>news:upvq83c...@corp.supernews.com...
>
>> The black van slowed to a stop in front of the apartment house.
>
>To paraphrase Sisko:
>
>"And *that* is why you're not a sick, twisted bastard?"
>
>My only concern in such a situation would be that you and Dalton's "Lump
>Club" status might provide you with shields against bullets, in the form of
>tons of lard. Of course, that will also mean you'll be advancing slowly,
>like some sort of human glaciers . . . so I'd have time to carefully aim for
>those two little neurons that you can only sporadically rub together.

This reminds me of Cock Rocket's response to similar TGOD threads.

Cmdrwilkens

unread,
Oct 9, 2002, 8:09:09 PM10/9/02
to
"John Hansen" <ab...@verizon.net> wrote in message
news:emi8qucv8sgje9uk6...@4ax.com...

Perhaps the only person more asinine than DarkStar (though Wes comes close).
Still I had fun toying with CR.

Reply all
Reply to author
Forward
0 new messages