NEW "Up-'Lifting Conversation" 1/2 [PG-13] VOY (J,T)
FNKAISER
Title: Up-'Lifting Conversation
Author: m.c. moose (fnka...@aol.com)
Series: VOY
Part: NEW 1/2
Rating: [PG-13]
Codes: J, T
Summary: Janeway finds herself stuck in a turbo-lift with a
hot half-Klingon. It's not nearly as much fun as it sounds.
Disclaimer: Paramount/Viacom holds all copyright, trademark,
and patent rights associated with Star Trek, Star Trek: The Next
Generation, Star Trek: Deep Space Nine, Star Trek: Voyager, and
all original characters of those series. No infringement of those
rights is intended or implied by their use; I merely claim this
story.
Story Notes: This is the second story of the "Requisite Plot-
Device" Trilogy. To review: anyone who reads and/or writes
Star Trek: Voyager fan fiction knows there are certain stories
that, sooner or later, every writer must tell. To my mind, these
are: a Pon farr story; a stuck turbolift tale; and (last but not least) a
malfunctioning holodeck saga. You may have others on your list; if so, please
write them. (There's a separate list for hard-core J/C writers. But since I
am not an actual J/Cer, I don't have to fulfill those requirements.)
I tackled (twisted? mangled?) the topic of Pon farr in
"Once Bitten." Below is my stuck-turbolift story. But please,
when you see who the two occupants are, don't get your hopes
up; this story is not a refugee from Reverend Jim's page. I just
wanted these two characters to get together long enough to
*talk* for a change! I don't think TPTB have given these two
more than 20 lines of interaction all season. And they used to
have such great end-of-episode conversations: remember
"Persistence of Vision"? "Prototype"? Well, this should give
them a chance to catch up.
Oh, and to fulfill yet another fan-fic convention, all but
the epilogue is done in a "dialogue-only" format. But that's just
a gimmick, not a proper plot device.
UP-'LIFTING CONVERSATION
by m.c. moose (c/o fnka...@aol.com)
(copyright, 1998)
Time Frame: Early in the Fifth Year of the Journey
"Remind me to never, ever, take you away from main
engineering when we start to experience system failures. Why
the hell did I think I should bring you to the bridge?"
"Maybe because all the failures were initially localized to
that area. Maybe because you couldn't anticipate the problem
cascading into a shipwide shutdown. Maybe because Chakotay
specifically asked you to... What? What's so funny?"
"You. Me. Us. If anyone told me four years ago that
*you* would be providing the voice of reason in our
conversations, I'd never have believed it. Hell, if our journey
takes long enough, I'll probably have Seven quoting me Starfleet
protocol by the end. She could start by advising me that captains
aren't supposed to curse on duty."
"Blame it on the heat. It's harder on Humans."
"Yes, but low oxygen is harder on Klingons."
"I'll be okay. There's enough airflow... barely. Just don't
start performing calisthenics."
"Trust me, that is the one possible course of action that
never crossed my mind. I'd stop talking, but it wouldn't save
much air. And I need to keep my mind off the heat. Jesus, it
*is* hot."
"Yeah, well, that plasma arcing outside the emergency
hatch isn't a very attractive alternative. I guess we have our
choice: baked or fried."
"We'd better stick to baked. I understand it's much
healthier than fried... Speaking of healthy, I think we're going to
miss our weekly coffee-and-decadent-dessert break today."
"Damn. I demand a rain-check."
"Most definitely. Still, no reason we can't catch up. So...
how's work?"
"Well, other than the fact that I'm stuck in a overheated
turbolift with a commanding officer whose language gets
raunchier and humor gets stranger as the temperature rises, fine
I guess. Oh, except for the small fact that all the systems linked
through the ship's bioneural circuitry are going haywire. Again.
Just who designed that lovely piece of Starfleet engineering,
anyway?"
"Some very clever Vulcan scientists who didn't fully
appreciate the difference between theoretical plausibility and
technical feasibility. We were still working out some system
bugs in the last week before our mission to the Badlands. And
I'm quite sure those clever designers didn't anticipate Voyager
being relocated to the Delta Quadrant; those gel packs have been
exposed to a host of novel infectious agents, ones they were
never inoculated against."
"Like Neelix's cheese, for God's sake. These 'clever'
Vulcan designers, Captain... can you give me their names?"
"If I do, will I be an accessory to murder?"
“Maybe. But I'm sure the court will rule justifiable
homicide. For over four years now, that goddamned bioneural
circuitry and those bag-of-shit gelpacks have been the bane of my
existence! I’m the first chief engineer in the history of Starfleet
who’s had to depend on the chief medical officer to keep a
starship operational.”
“Well, I’m the first captain in the history of Starfleet
who’s had to depend on the chief engineer to keep the chief
medical officer operational. Weird is, I’m afraid, a *major* part
of the job here in the Delta Quadrant. However this long,
strange trip turns out, it's definitely going to be one for the
books.”
"Huh. You actually think about that, don't you?"
"What?"
"How people, how *history* will regard what we do out
here."
"Yes, I suppose I do. Oh, I don't obsess about it. In fact, I
actually think about it less than I used to. But it's sort of drilled
into us in Command School. Much of the curriculum is based
on case studies, you know. And not just the noble successes, like
in the Academy leadership courses. In Command School, they
review all the grand failures, the royal screw-ups. So if nothing
else, you're imbued with the lofty ambition to avoid becoming
the prime-case example of how *not* to captain a starship."
"Well, I wouldn't worry, Captain. I'm sure your place in
obscurity is secure."
"Thank you, Lieutenant, for that resounding vote of
confidence."
"Anytime, Captain... Captain... you know I was kidding, I
hope. I didn't mean to imply..."
"Huh, oh, sorry. I was just thinking... I did actually once
worry about such things a lot more than I do now. Now I think I
realize that there are too many Starfleet captains, Starfleet
admirals, whose lives read far better than they lived... I realize I
don't want that to happen to me."
"Is Tom's father one of those people? Captain?"
"Yes. I'm afraid Owen may very well be a case in point...
B'Elanna, what was in his letter to Tom?
"Uh, what letter?"
"Owen Paris' letter. The one that came over the alien
array. The one between the successful transmissions of letters to
Ensigns Wildman and Kim."
"Oh... that one."
"B'Elanna, I'd never tell Tom. I trust your judgment. But
one day, I may need to face Owen as well. What did he say?"
"Well, it wasn't that terrible. Not really, I guess. Mainly
how he hoped Tom realized what an amazing second chance
he'd been given. How he couldn't be serving under a better
captain. How he'd better not screw things up again. It just... it
just seemed so cold and judgmental, though, you know? I
mean, here's this one chance to say something to his son, the
son he thought was dead, for Christ's sake, and the best the man
can do is 'don't screw up'!? I just didn't think Tom needed to
hear that shit... Sorry, Captain... I know you admire Tom's
father."
"There's a good deal to admire in Owen Paris as a Starfleet
officer. That part of his life, well, it certainly reads very well. As
a father... as a husband, I think there're probably some rather
severe shortcomings. I never forgave him for disowning Tom
the way he did. I still can't... Everything else, I can accept. But
not that."
"Everything else?"
"Hmm?"
"You said you can forgive everything else..."
"Oh. Nothing really. Just Starfleet politics... B'Elanna, I
think you did the right thing with Owen's letter... what's good
for Tom... You're good for Tom. He's lucky to have you."
"We're lucky to have each other. I wasn't sure you
approved, though."
"What? Why would you think that?"
"Well, the way you called us on the carpet..."
"Wait a minute. Over a year ago, in a dopamine-induced
frenzy, I suggested it just might be inappropriate for the two of
you to be humping like thunder-bunnies at your duty stations.
And from that you concluded I didn't approve of your
relationship? Jesus, Lieutenant, cut me a little slack here"
"It's just that your opinion means a lot to, well, to both of
us."
"Then consider yourselves bestowed with the captain's
official blessing. Really, B'Elanna, I'm very happy that you two
found each other. Somewhat amazed, I must admit... but still,
pleased. Very pleased."
"Thank you. Really. And you're right... it is amazing that
we even got together. Especially since I thought he was such a
pig."
"What changed your mind?"
"That horrible Pon farr thing with Vorik. Oh, there were
some other earlier signs that Tom might actually be a decent
person... like when we were the Vidiians' prisoners. But the
way Tom behaved down in the caves when I was, well, throwing
myself at him. I never suspected that he respected me, cared
about me, that much... uh, Captain, what are you doing?"
"Just taking some clothes off. Please... continue."
"Um, well, I really didn't think the story was *that*
exciting."
"Don't flatter yourself, Lieutenant. Or Tom. I just think
we can dismiss with these useless layers of Starfleet issue. Jesus,
whoever came up with these turtlenecks!?"
"I thought Starfleet uniforms were designed to be
comfortable in all climates."
"Bullshit. Okay, if you need to be covered from neck to
toe, they do a pretty good job of keeping you comfortable. They
were even bearable to wear on Vulcan, I'll give them that. But
this lift is even hotter than Vulcan, and a damn sight more
humid. You'll forgive me, Lieutenant, if I don't stand on
formalities."
"Captain, you can sit on formalities for all I care. Okay if I
join you?"
"By all means. And do continue with your story. You
were being charmed by Tom's gallantry."
"Yeah. I was. I mean... most Human guys are always so
curious. Jeez, from the time I hit puberty I was always the focus
of *that* kind of attention. The mysterious half-Klingon, you
know? And Tom seemed like just another thrill-seeker. But
then there he was, refusing to take advantage of the situation. I
thought at the very least I'd have to put up with his juvenile
attempts at humor afterwards, but even then he was very
considerate, amazingly sensitive... for a pig."
"Tom puts up a lot of fronts, layers upon layers of
defenses. God knows, when I interviewed him in New Zealand,
I was about ready to slap his arrogant face. But underneath it all,
he's a very good man. And he's shed a lot of his protective
facade; you've helped him there, I think... So that's when you
two got together?"
"God, Captain, you really don't get out much, do you?
No, we still danced around each other for a while. But when we
were adrift in our environmental suits, running out of air,
well... for once I wanted to be honest with him. I didn't want to
be a coward. So I told him I loved him."
"And he told you he felt the same?"
"No. The pig. But he made it clear later. And when I got
back from that away mission with the Doctor, the one with that
hologram-from-hell, that's when we, uh, got together."
"Yes, well, nothing like a couple near-brushes with death
to refocus your priorities."
"Is that what happened with you and Chakotay?"
"You know, I believe it's gotten even hotter. It must be 45
degrees in here, don't you think?"
"They're probably heat-purging the circuitry. And we
don't have enough ventilation to dissipate it... Captain, if you
don't want to talk about it..."
"No, it's not that. And it's hardly fair for me to ask you to
be open and then clam up in return. It's just... well, everything
always seems so complicated when I try to talk about this. It's
not like Chakotay and I are trying to hide our relationship; it's
not like we're trying to flaunt it either. We're just trying to let it
be, let it happen."
"But when you were on New Earth, I mean, well, a lot of
us sort of assumed... okay, not a lot, but some... oh, God..."
"Let me help you out. No. We didn't. We would have,
given more time. The first couple of months, well, I wasn't
open to the possibility. I wasn't open to much of anything about
the planet. I was convinced I'd find a cure, convinced we'd
rejoin Voyager. But then there was a huge plasma storm,
destroyed all my experimental equipment... God, I was so
devastated. But finally, I accepted. We were staying on New
Earth. So I became... open to possibilities. We decided to take
things slowly; God knows, we didn't want to screw things up.
And Chakotay was still badly wounded from everything Seska
had put him through. Jesus, that... woman did such horrible
things to him. And I was still accepting losing Mark. We
weren't kids, B'Elanna; we both were carrying a lot of baggage.
Yet at the same time, you know, we *were* kids; we were
enjoying discovering each other in this new light, the thrill of
courtship. It was tremendous fun. And we had this wonderful
release in knowing there wasn't a single duty, not a single
person we were neglecting by pursuing our time together. Lord,
it was such a glorious indulgence, such a wonderful luxury.
And we had all the time... all the time in the world."
"Until Voyager came back and got you."
"Oh, B'Elanna. You make it sound like a prison sentence.
It really wasn't. But it was a shock. Overwhelming, really. We
handled it... well, we handled it badly. Both of us did. Each in
our own way. It wasn't until later, much later, that we tried
again. After the letters from home, after almost losing the ship
to the Hirogen. Remember the mystery letter? Turns out it was
from my sister. Some of the things in it, well, the details don't
matter. But it gave me a lot to think about. And it helped me
realize how much I loved Chakotay, how much I truly needed
him. Yes, as a friend and first officer, but also as more. So I went
to talk with him... woke him up in the middle of the night, as I
recall. Again, we took things kind of slow, at least at first..."
"At first... so what happened? I can't remember any
'brush with death'... oh God, it wasn't when you ended up in
Tom's body, was it?"
"Jesus, B'Elanna, I think you must get out too much! No,
it wasn't the incident with Steth, although now that you
mention it, maybe it was fortunate that Chakotay and I weren't
lovers then. Talk about adding a new dimension to the
infamous Chakotay/Paris dynamic! God, I never thought about
that!"
"Okay, okay... it's not that funny. Trust me, it wasn't
funny to realize it was that creepy alien coming on to me in
Tom's body. So tell me, oh wise captain, what was the catalyst?"
"Wisdom had nothing to do with it. Truth is, I was
jealous."
"Jealous? Of who? Whom. Whatever."
"Of myself. My clone. Whatever."
"No, you've lost me."
"On the demon planet, B'Elanna. After we allowed
ourselves to be cloned... you were one of the last to be cloned.
Did you find the decision hard?"
"No, I found it easy. I didn't want to be cloned."
"Why ever not?"
"I... haven't had the happiest of lives, Captain. And I
haven't always liked living... with myself. I couldn't see the
point of creating another me to be miserable."
"Setting aside that being a ridiculous idea, what changed
your mind?"
"Not what, who. Tom. Actually, Toms. Alpha and Beta
Tom double-teamed me. Both insisted how meaningless his
life, their lives, would be without me. Without her. You know
what I mean."
"So you relented."
"Yeah, in the end."
"Hmm. Did you spend much time with her? Your clone?
'Beta B'Elanna'?"
"God, see? I even saddled her with a horrible name! No.
It was too weird. I think it was worse than facing my Klingon
self."
"Yes, it's bizarre to deal with yourself. I've done it twice
now. The strangest thing is how you know exactly what she's
thinking. Because, of course, it's exactly what you'd be thinking.
There's no possibility of dissemblence. It was bad enough
arguing with the other Janeway over which Voyager to destroy.
But on the demon planet, watching Beta Kathryn with her
Chakotay, well, it was both painful and embarrassing. I felt like a
voyeur."
"She wanted him, huh?"
"'Thunder-bunny' doesn't come close to doing her justice,
I'm afraid. Oh, she was willing to have the courtesy to wait until
Voyager left, but she was damned eager for us to get the hell off
her planet! It reminded me of Mark's stories of how the first
year students would arrive at the university with their parents:
how the parents would hover and linger; how the students
would be dying for their parents to leave so that the debauchery
could begin! God, I felt like the unwanted parent."
"I do seem to recall our making a rather hasty exit."
"Hmm. As rapid as safety protocols would allow. But
later, as I thought about her, I realized aspects of her situation I
truly envied. I'm not sure what kind of society that crew will
create, but it was obvious she was *not* going to be their
'captain.' She might help to lead, might be one of the leaders,
but not *the* leader. And there was going to be a lot more to her
life than leading. That 'lot more' was going to start with
Chakotay. Her Chakotay."
"Captain Thunder-Bunny. Sorry, it's the thin air--I get a
bit giddy. Please... I'm sorry."
"Yes, well, the whole situation's absurd. I was jealous of
my clone's freedom, her ability to freely pursue... oh hell, her
ability to simply be with the man she loved. And I realized, and
this is what scared me, B'Elanna: I realized that if I continued to
wait for just the right moment, for when the ship was secure, for
when I was sure the crew would accept us... if I continued to
wait, *I* would become the reflection, the shadow: I would be
the lesser version of myself. God, B'Elanna, does any of this
make any sense?... I was tired of being less; I wanted to be more.
I wanted us, Chakotay and me, to be more. I wanted us to be
together. Whole. Finally."
"So your courtship was finally, uh, consummated."
"Hmm, yes. And I don't know if I should be embarrassed
that it took only a month or that it took over four years."
"I don't think you should be embarrassed at all. About
any of it."
"Thank you, B'Elanna. To quote a certain chief engineer,
your opinion means a lot to me. It means a lot to us."
"Well, I should certainly hope so. Seriously, I think you
and Chakotay are very good for each other. I've already told him
how lucky he is to have you."
"I'm lucky to have him. I haven't felt this happy, this...
centered since... well, I don't know if I've ever been. It's a
wonderful gift I've been given. Chakotay's given me. And I'm
at a point in my life where I can truly appreciate how precious
this gift truly is. I've not... well, fate hasn't been exactly kind
regarding this part of my life... End of confessional. Most
uncaptain-like behavior. Sorry, B'Elanna. I blame it on the
heat."