[ASC REPOST]PARO:DS9:PantsFell 4/5
Drakken
IS THAT *REALLY* HONORABLE? (OR: DATA, GIVING ADVICE)
(Scene: Amidst still joyous dancers, Data and Worf come into Quark's
bar. Worf is still in his tutu, but Data is too busy expounding upon his
recent experiences to comment on the Klingon's costume.)
Data: "...While Antarean whipped cream and gakh are supposed to have an
aphrodisiacal effect on Klingon females, I find that they lose their
potency after nine or ten uses in one night."
(Worf's eyes bulge out slightly farther and he crosses something off a
list. Then Data spots Wesley's mangled corpse lying on the floor. He
tilts his head, walks over to Wes's remains, and kicks the body halfway
across the room.)
Data: "Hmm!"
(Worf stalks over to the Crusher brat and stands over his remains
thoughtfully. A malevolent grin comes over his face, and he boots the
corpse across the floor so hard it bounces off the far wall.)
Worf (coming back over to Data): "I... had to be sure."
Data: "You, too?"
(The two resume their discussion on methods of seduction. Quark
approaches the pair.)
Quark: "More prune juice and vodka/motor oil cocktail?" (The two
agree. As he prepares their drinks): "So, what are you two discussing?"
Data: "I was giving Worf advice to improve his sexual prowess. He seems
to show a decided lack of technique..." (Worf grumbles menacingly to
cover his embarassment. Quark freezes, unable to think of a response that
won't lead to Worf kicking his ass.) "...and of stamina."
Quark: "Ah... well... I guess I'll leave you to it, then. Uh... call
me if you need anything... drinkwise... Oh, or if you need a holosuite.
Bye!" (Runs like a rabbit.)
Worf: "I *still* do not see why Odo lets that... *Ferengi* run unfettered."
Data: "Perhaps they have a *special* relationship."
Worf: "Hmmm. I had not considered that... but it would explain much."
GENERAL ASS KICKING SCENE (OR: ODO, PLAYING A NEW GAME)
(Scene: Quark's Establishment, near the holosuites. Dax and Geordi are
coming out of a holosuite, a most satisfied look upon their faces. Kira
is standing, in a rather interesting position, talking to Tom Riker, and
Deanna is cozying up to Will Riker and Bashir at the bar. Bashir looks
tired (perhaps he too should seek Data's advice). Worf enters from the
holosuites, having learned what he wished to know from Data (learned very
well indeed!), and now coming in search of Kira and Dax and even Deanna.)
Worf: "I am ready for you now!"
(All three women regard him carefully, and then both Rikers come on with
a tag team attack. Punches are thrown, kung fu-like moves employed.
Worf is looking very confused, but -- to his credit as a warrior -- he is
still kicking some Riker ass.)
Worf: "Do not make me do this, I have no wish to hurt the people who
killed Wesley!"
(The Rikers ignore him. Geordi and Dax merely slip back into the
holosuite, and Troi drags Bashir behind the bar -- yet again! Odo enters
and approaches the now-solitary Kira.)
Odo: "Kira, I have learned a new solid game. Would you like to play?"
(He whispers into her ear. Kira's eyebrows begin to rise, her nose
becomes even more crinkled, and a slow smile spreads over her face. Kira
whispers something back, and Odo begins to melt. They make for the exit,
leaving a trail of clothes/Odo drippings. The two Rikers are now lying on
the floor -- bruised, bloody, and beaten -- and Worf looks around in great
confusion.)
Worf: "WHERE ARE THEY?!?!?!"
END OF PART 4