NEW TOS ChFF "Transition" Mc/Ch, (K/S and S/Ch implied) [G] angst
Farfalla
Author: Farfalla the Butterfly-Kitten
Email: blueberrysnail at yahoo dot com
Website: http://cosmicduckling.com
Codes: Mc/Ch, K/S implied, unrequited S/Ch
Rating: G, angst
Warning: prepare for curveballs.
Written for the Sickbay Sweetheart Chapel Fanfiction
Festival (ChFF)
at http://www.cosmicduckling.com/sweetheart
Summary: Christine feels inadequate after Spock's
rejection in Amok Time, but McCoy reminds her what a
special person she really is.
TRANSITION
"In a pig's eye," Dr. McCoy repeated to himself
cheerfully as he loaded the hypospray, carefully as
always, and headed for the nurses' lab.
Christine Chapel was standing in front of the sink,
her gloved hands immersed to the wrist in soapy
bubbles. She turned when she heard his footsteps, but
didn't speak. Instead, she let her scrub-brush speak
for her, jamming it in and out of each piece of dirty
glassware with an angry energy.
"Why are you washing dishes? We have yeomen for that
kinda thing," McCoy commented.
"You sent me out of the room. I didn't have anything
else to do, so I thought I might as well make myself
useful." She plunged both hands into the bitter,
cleansing soap.
McCoy approached her. "Christine, you understand. This
has been a very difficult time for Spock, and I didn't
want--" He noticed her lips quivering with what he
realized was fierce determination not to cry. "I
wanted him to have his privacy."
"What if that's not what he wanted--just then?" She
rinsed an Erlenmeyer flask and set it down to dry in
the rack nearby. "He was finally opening up to me,
Len. He--" Now the tears formed, and she had to stop
speaking to choke them down in the interests of
professional dignity.
"Christine." McCoy walked closer to her so he could
speak more intimately. "He left with the captain.
That's the way things are, and that's the way they
were always going to be. That doesn't mean he can't be
your friend. If he's started gettin' close to you, I'm
glad. The man needs more friends. He doesn't come by
'em naturally."
He took the hypo out of his pocket and started
fiddling with it. She flinched unconsciously, and
pretended not to see it. "Time for your shot," he said
almost in a whisper.
Her eyes moved around the sink, searching for a
response amidst the suds and the test tubes. "I--I
don't--"
"Christine." He took hold of her upper arm gently, but
she wrenched free. "Christine, I've got to do this. As
Chief Medical Officer of this ship, I may be the only
person who knows what's in this hypo, but if you start
interfering with your treatment I may be forced to
alert other physicians."
Her eyes flashed with alarm. "No! No, don't." Her
breath had quickened as well. "I'll take it. I
just...." She rotated to face him and looked into his
eyes. "Len, he likes men."
"Oh, no you don't," McCoy began sharply.
"I know. I can't go back now, and I don't want to."
She sighed, still fighting the horrible embarrassment
of tears. "This is the body I've always wanted." She
passed her hands asexually over her full bosom, then
wiped away a stray tear. "But, Len, he's so...
elegant, and beautiful, and intelligent... he's so
quiet, and--I just know I could bring him out of that,
and--"
"You can still be his friend," McCoy reminded her.
"I know that, but it hurts! What does the captain have
that I don't?"
"You know it has nothing to do with that."
"Doesn't it?" she said passionately. "Will I ever
really know? With Roger, I was always afraid I didn't
look feminine enough for him, enough like a normal
woman. The android he designed to keep him company
looked more like a woman than I do, and she's not even
a real person. Now, suddenly, here I find out that I'm
*too* feminine for someone that I care very much for?
I never expected that to ever happen. He might have
given me more of a chance if we'd met before I
transitioned."
"And then you might never have gone through with it,
and always felt that dissonance and pain with your own
body," McCoy reminded her. He held up the hypo again.
"Christine, please."
"Do it."
She closed her eyes and he pressed the hypo into her
shoulder. The estrogen mixture passed into her body
easily.
She fell against his side, and he put one arm around
her. "Christine." He rubbed her back comfortingly, and
she leaned her head on his shoulder. "Do I really need
to remind you, a bright capable woman who is my
brilliant and tireless Head Nurse, of all the reasons
you have to feel good about yourself?"
"I'm too stoic for most people," she said into his
uniform.
"You're not very stoic right now," he pointed out
wryly.
"That's different," she explained, lifting her head to
look into his eyes. "It's you."
"I hope that's a compliment."
"You're the only person on board I feel completely
safe with. You know everything about me, you know
my--secret, so I don't have to be afraid of any
preconceived ideas or--or nasty surprises. Nobody
knows except you... so I can be myself here, and don't
have to fight my way out of a label or a stereotype
before anyone will see me the way I see myself."
"I'm honored that you can open up to me like this,"
McCoy drawled huskily, He rocked her back and forth
slightly, smelling her perfume faintly beneath the
overwhelming aroma of lab soap.
They didn't speak for a moment, and then she leaned
her face into his exploratively. They touched lips
once, chastely, and then he pulled away. "No, not
right now."
"Why?"
"You've got a lot of healing to do from everything
that's been going on--Roger, Spock... if we rush into
this too suddenly I'm just gonna be one more part of
the stuff you're healing from. That's not how I do
things. I wanna help you heal. I'm a doctor, after
all."
She nodded and rested her head on his shoulder. At
first, she wanted to say something, but instead, she
just breathed. In and out, in and out... slowly,
deliberately. Calming. He continued rubbing her back.
"I'd like to escort you to dinner tonight, if that's
all right," he whispered into the silence.
"Mm-hmm..." she cooed. Then she straightened up, and
reorganized herself for work. "Thank you, Len... I
can't believe I broke down like that on the job."
"You had a lot on your mind," he reminded her,
slipping the empty hypospray into the bin of dirty
labware. He led her away from the sink. "The yeoman
does that, remember?"
"I do hope Spock is happy with the captain," she
commented as she followed him back into the main room
of the Sickbay. "There's just a little voice in my
head that was wondering if he would have liked me at
all better before I was Christine."
Dr. McCoy looked at her with his crystalline blue
eyes. "You were *always* Christine."
//
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Cait N.
coming. But it definitely put a new and interesting spin on things. I
was glad it was a serious story instead of the parody-fluff it could
have been. :-)
Cait N.
Farfalla
> I loved the ending! And I have to admit, I never saw the "curveball"
> coming.
I'm glad it didn't make you angry, then, lol.
> I
> was glad it was a serious story instead of the parody-fluff it could
> have been. :-)
The subject is way too near and dear to my heart to make fun of it in any way that the
people involved wouldn't condone and find endearing..... I may even sequellize this.
Thanks for your comments!
~Farfalla