NEW DS9/VOY 1/1 "Toast" [PG]
Ellen Fremedon
Author: Ellen Fremedon <Ellen_F...@hotmail.com>
Date: 11-18-01
Posted to celebrate the one-year anniversary of my delurking.
Series: DS9/VOY/Red Dwarf Xover
Codes: Quark/Neelix, others offstage, toaster, humor
Rating: [PG]
Part: 1/1
Feedback: Yes, please, public or private, positive or negative.
Summary: The talking toaster from Red Dwarf tries to find a mate for
Neelix.
Challenge: Response to my own rash promise to write a Neelix/Quark if the
Internet Toaster did not win an Ig Nobel prize. Blame this one on the
Ig committee, folks.
Warnings: This is the unbeta'ed result of a lot of caffeine and a long wait
until optimum seeing time for the Leonid shower.
Disclaimer: ParaBorg owns Trek. The BBC owns Red Dwarf, and also some of
the toaster's dialog. If they sue, all they'll get is a bass
clarinet, a seven-toed cat, and a half-finished thesis on modern
Icelandic laryngeal contrasts, none of which, frankly, I would wish on
anyone.
Toast
by Ellen Fremedon
"So," the toaster said, "what anniversary is it today?" He had been with
Neelix for four weeks now, ever since the Talaxian had salvaged him from the
derelict mining vessel, and he had learned that when Neelix looked this
despondent, it was almost always a Kes anniversary. Neelix remembered
dozens of them-- just in these few weeks, the toaster had endured the
anniversaries of the day Kes and Neelix had met, of their first kiss, Kes's
elogium, and the day they had joined the Voyager crew. But this was by far
the most depressed Neelix had been yet.
"Oh, Mr. Toaster," he wailed. "It was eight years ago today that Kes first
told me--" he choked back a sob-- "told me that she loved me." And Neelix
put his head down on the table and wailed.
When the storm of tears had subsided into a sniffling whimper, the toaster
tried to comfort Neelix the only way he knew how. "Well," he chirped, his
grill blinking brightly, "would you like some toast?"
"I just couldn't think of food now. I'm sorry, Mr. Toaster, but you
understand." The toaster didn't, but he'd learned that this reaction to his
well-meaning offers was regrettably, inexplicably, very common. He thought
for a moment of trying to interest Neelix in a crumpet, or possibly a
waffle, but on the last anniversary that ploy had caused Neelix to run
weeping from the room. But something, obviously, would have to be done.
These constant anniversaries were steadily wearing the Talaxian into a state
of extreme depression and complete disinterest in grilled bread products.
And the toaster, after long cogitation, had come to the surprising
conclusion that the solution might, in fact, be completely un-toast-related.
What Neelix needed was not toast. Neelix needed to find a new mate.
But saying so provoked another storm of tears. "How can I, Mr. Toaster.
In all those years on Voyager after she-- left-- there was never anyone
else."
"You were still in mourning then. Forget about the Voyager people. You
hardly ever see them, anyway."
Neelix wiped his eyes. "But, who else is there?"
"Well, you go to Deep Space Nine every couple of months, don't you? Is
there anyone there?"
The Talaxian shook his head. "I don't know. I only stay there long enough
to sell my salvage, and then I'm back through the wormhole again, unless the
Voyager's nearby. I don't really know any of the station people that well."
The toaster thought for a moment. "Well. Maybe I could get to know them
for you, scout out a likely prospect. Set you up with someone."
The Talaxian frowned at him. "Send you to arrange a... a meeting with a
potential mate? I don't know. It seems a bit sordid. Pathetic, really."
The toaster blinked his grill lights. "Hey, you're already sitting here
pouring your heart out to a toaster. How much more pathetic can you get?"
~*+*~*+*~*+*~*+*~*+*~*+*~*+*~*+*~*+*~*+*~
The Talaxian was back, with another load of junk. Quark sighed, tugging at
his ear. The Talaxian's one-man salvage operation in the Gamma Quadrant was
relatively successful, and Quark had found many buyers for his scrap
titanium, antimatter, and engine parts. But a few months ago, in a moment
of weakness, he had agreed to sell some of the Talaxian's smaller finds on
consignment, and though it was mildly profitable, he was still regretting
it.
It was the usual assortment this time-- alien trinkets of no recognizable
function, a few shiny objects that might have been jewelry or insignia or
ship registry plates, others that might have been kitchen implements or
toys-- or sex toys, possibly, one never knew with alien gadgets.
He'd keep them at the back of the bar, hawk them as curiosities.
And then, no telling how it had come to be in the Gamma Quadrant, there was
the bizarre Terran artifact.
"It's a toaster," Neelix said, with his usual simpering grin. "You put
sliced bread in this slot at the top, and push down on this lever, and these
heating implements *toast* it. It comes out crisp and browned. Those
humans, Mr. Ferengi! Those humans are so clever!"
"Those hu-mons are bizarre," muttered Quark. Hu-mon cuisine got stranger
and stranger the more he learned about it. And this was the strangest thing
he'd learned yet. "This even beats the root beer."
"You haven't even seen the cleverest part yet," the Talaxian cooed. "Watch
this." He pressed a power switch and turned the device on.
"Howdy doodly-doo!" the toaster warbled, its grill lighting and flashing.
"I'm Talkie, your cheerful breakfast companion. Talkie's the name,
toasting's the game. Now, would anyone like some toast?"
Quark stared in astonishment. Only the hu-mons, he thought, could imagine
something this perversely compelling.
He would display this one in the front of the bar, he decided. On its own
table.
Under a spotlight.
~*+*~*+*~*+*~*+*~*+*~*+*~*+*~*+*~*+*~*+*~
And so the toaster began his quest for a mate for Neelix. He felt more
needed than he ever had when his only function had been warming bread. It
was a good feeling, and he threw his mechanical heart into the search.
Quark's marketing ploy was successful; the Terran curiosity drew a
continual stream of station residents and transients into the bar, and the
toaster drew each one into conversation. The transients he largely
ignored-- Neelix needed someone he could come home to-- but for the
residents he was especially charming, and he was soon purchased. And
returned, and purchased, and returned, and returned again.
The first buyer was the big Lissepian, Morn. When they returned to his
quarters, the toaster gently began to question him about his love life. But
the litany of perversions that was his answer sickened him, and he knew that
Morn's tastes would deeply shock the innocent Talaxian. No. Not Morn. And
after a night in which he awakened the Lissepian thirty-eight separate times
to ask if he wanted toast, he was returned to Quark as soon as the bar
opened the next morning.
The next buyer was, like Neelix, a freighter captain, but she kept quarters
on the station, and so the toaster allowed himself to be purchased. Captain
Yates had a child, not quite three years old, whom the toaster knew Neelix
would be charmed by. But Yates herself still lived in hope that the child's
father, the former station commander, would return as he had promised from
the realm of the Prophets, and the toaster soon determined that she was not
ready for a new attachment. And so, after another long night, it was back
to Quark's.
A human doctor came into the bar several times, seeming very lonely and
lost, and the toaster thought he would be an excellent prospect-- he was
alluring, compassionate and clever, and when the toaster questioned him
teasingly about his romantic history and his attitudes toward aliens, he
seemed to be quite broad-minded and willing to take risks; in fact, he
closed their discussion by pounding the table and exclaiming "You're
absolutely right! Life is too short not to seize the moment! I'm not going
to sit around feeling sorry for myself one minute more!" But the day after
their conversation, word came to Quark's that the doctor had transferred to
the Federation Medical Relief Services and taken the morning transport to
Cardassia. The toaster would have to find someone else.
He tried the Trill counselor next, whose rather vitriolic break-up with
Doctor Bashir was speculated to be the reason for the human's sudden
departure. She was quite willing to talk to him about the problems of his
friend, though she seemed to labor under the misapprehension that he was
using a non-existent friend to disguise his own problems. At first, the
Toaster had high hopes for her-- she confessed an attraction to a wide
variety of aliens even stranger-looking and -acting than Neelix, and she
seemed quite ready to plunge into a rebound affair to, as she put it, "get
that insufferable twit out of my system once and for all." But further
discussion made the toaster somewhat wary. He suspected that Neelix would
be disgusted by the knowledge of the worm in her abdomen, and spooked by her
age and her many previous lives. But the clincher came when she accused
him-- *him*, the toaster!-- of having a toast fixation, and tried to
psychoanalyze him! No, he decided. No one who questioned the centrality of
toast to his existence could possibly be a suitable match for any friend of
his.
And the Trill, it seemed, was already being courted by Captain Sisko's
grown son, and when Jake admired the toaster she gave it to him-- with a
warning about his 'toast obsession' that made him fume. Jake Sisko was a
fine young man, handsome, eloquent, devoted to his young half-sister. But
alas, he had eyes for no one except the Trill, and the toaster soon realized
it would be futile to try to interest him in anyone else. And so after a
sleepless night, Jake returned the toaster to Quark's on Dax's behalf. The
Ferengi grumbled at refunding his price for a third time, but he seemed
happy enough to have him at the front of the bar again, drawing in the
crowds.
That didn't prevent him from giving-- *giving*-- the toaster to the new
station commander as lagniappe after some dispute over the rental of a
private banquet room. The Bajoran was difficult to draw out, but he had
already heard that she, too, was mourning a lost lover, a Founder who had
gone back to his people, and when he pressed her for details she eventually,
testily, answered his questions. She had come to terms with the Founder's
departure, she was ready to meet someone new-- but the experience had soured
her on aliens, and she was interested only in a Bajoran lover. The toaster
was returned again, this time without even having wakened the Colonel once--
"This is the nosiest kitchen device I've ever seen!" she told Quark. "I
won't keep a machine around that demands details about my love life!"
"Kira has a love life now?" Quark asked him when she had stomped out of
the bar. "Do tell." The toaster preserved as much of Colonel Kira's
privacy as he could, but he did let out that Kira was in the market for a
partner again. "Really," Quark muttered, tugging at one earlobe. "Did she
say anything about me?"
"Why?" the toaster asked. "Are you interested?"
"Of course I'm interested. The Colonel is beautiful when she's angry. And
around me, she's always beautiful." He sighed. "And if I don't find
someone soon, I'm going to give myself an ear infection."
"Ear infection?"
Quark stopped stroking his ear and abruptly dropped his hand. "Never mind.
So, what does the lovely Colonel think?"
"I'm afraid she's only interested in Bajorans right now."
Quark snorted. "It figures. Bajorans are so parochial."
The toaster felt his lever prick up with interest. "So... I take it
you're a bit more... broad-minded... in your approach to romance."
The Ferengi grinned. "Rule of Acquisition number #212: Keep your options
open."
~*+*~*+*~*+*~*+*~*+*~*+*~*+*~*+*~*+*~*+*~
"Quark?" Neelix was back in the bar, talking to the toaster while Quark
contacted a scrap dealer in the DMZ to interest him in Neelix's hold full of
rhodinium plating. "Do you really think so?"
"I think you have a good chance," the toaster said. "What do you think of
him?"
"Well, I've never really... considered him that way before. But now that
you mention it... he does have some excellent points, doesn't he?" He
tapped his glass abstractedly. "Yes, he's clever, and so witty. Very
droll. And there is a certain charm in that wrinkled nose." Tap tap tap,
went his fingers. "Yes, you are absolutely right, Mr. Toaster! I have been
quite blind. Quite blind indeed. Quark is truly a charming person." He
stopped tapping and frowned. "But what should I do now? How do I approach
him?"
"Leave it all to me," said the toaster.
Quark soon summoned Neelix to the vidphone to finalize arrangements with
the scrap dealer, and while Neelix was thus engaged, the toaster called
Quark over to his table. "Hey, Quark, remember that conversation we had
about keeping your options open?"
"Why?" said the Ferengi. "Do you have an option?"
"I think I do," said the toaster. "I know someone who'd like to get to
know you a lot better."
"I'm all ears." Quark sat down and leaned in close to the toaster's
speaker. "Tell me."
"Kind," the toaster said, "considerate. Brimming with devotion and
pampering and no one to lavish it on."
"Tell me more."
"Thinks you're clever and witty. Thinks you have a charming nose."
"Good taste, too, I see." He tugged absently at his earlobe.
"Independent business person, but not a competitor of yours. Travels for a
living, but wants someone to come home to. Full of stories about incredible
adventures. Loves to cook, very domestic."
"Better and better," crooned the Ferengi. "What about looks?"
"Pleasingly speckled face--"
"--is it Dax?"
"--and long yellow hair."
"Not Dax. Who, then? Who is she?"
"Well," said the toaster, "it's not a she."
Quark was momentarily dumbstruck, and as he sat silently, mouth open, the
toaster called out, "Neelix!" Quark turned around to face a beaming
Talaxian. "Oh, Mr. Ferengi, I can't believe it's taken me so long to
realize what a fine person you are!" And Neelix bent down and closed his
mouth with a kiss.
For a moment, Quark simply endured it, still shocked, but when Neelix's
hand came up to caress his earlobe, he fleetingly thought, "Oh, what the
hell." And leaned into the kiss, and returned it.
The toaster looked on, his grill light flashing in contentment. He hadn't
told Neelix the most important point in Quark's favor.
Quark had developed an insatiable appetite for toast.
~END~
____________________________________________________________
thaet mon eathe tosliteth thaette naefre gesomnad waes
--"Wulf and Eadwacer"
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ASCEM messages are copied to a mailing list. Most recent messages
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akite...@aol.com
Ellen_F...@hotmail.com writes:
> Title: Toast
> Author: Ellen Fremedon <Ellen_F...@hotmail.com>
> Date: 11-18-01
> Posted to celebrate the one-year anniversary of my delurking.
> Series: DS9/VOY/Red Dwarf Xover
> Codes: Quark/Neelix, others offstage, toaster, humor
Bwah-ha-ha-ha! <snort> Talkie Toaster is one of my favorite characters
on Red Dwarf, but even here I can see his days numbered. One too
many interruptions when Quark and Neelix are in the mood for something
totally unbready and out he'll go. LOL Loved the story, Ellen.
Anita
tbo...@hotmail.com
> Title: Toast
> Date: 11-18-01
> Posted to celebrate the one-year anniversary of my
delurking.
Happy Anniversary Ellen, what a wonderful way to celebrate.
Thoroughly enjoyed this very amusing and witty fic - I love all
three, Neelix, Quark and Toaster, and you've got them down pat <g>.
Was grinning as the toaster made its way through the various
potential lovers, Morn especially had me LOL.
Well done, and thanks for brightening up my chilly, rain storming
night, which is completely preventing me from seeing the Leonid
showers.
cheers
T'Boy
Ellen_F...@hotmail.com
> --- In ASCEML@y..., "Ellen Fremedon" <Ellen_Fremedon@h...> wrote:
> > Title: Toast
> > Author: Ellen Fremedon <Ellen_Fremedon@h...>
> > Date: 11-18-01
> > Posted to celebrate the one-year anniversary of my
> delurking.
>
> Happy Anniversary Ellen, what a wonderful way to celebrate.
> Thoroughly enjoyed this very amusing and witty fic - I love all
> three, Neelix, Quark and Toaster, and you've got them down pat <g>.
> Was grinning as the toaster made its way through the various
> potential lovers, Morn especially had me LOL.
Thank you, T'Boy! You just *know* Morn has to have some deep dark
secrets... that shifty look in his eyes speaks volumes :-).
> Well done, and thanks for brightening up my chilly, rain storming
> night, which is completely preventing me from seeing the Leonid
> showers.
:-(. I'm sorry. It was-- for once-- perfect seeing weather here,
moonless and brilliantly clear. I hiked with a bunch of friends from
my department to a big clearing on a hilltop outside of town, with the
Milky Way bright overhead and shooting stars everywhere. At the peak,
just after 5 AM, there were about 4-5 a minute falling in clusters like
grapes out of the sickle of Leo. We stayed out there until dawn,
watching Mercury rise and drinking hot cider with rum and talking about
the Harry Potter movie. Well worth sacrificing a night's sleep for--
and coming back to such nice feedback just makes it a *perfect*
morning!
Ellen
tbo...@hotmail.com
> --- In ASCEML@y..., tboy_7@h... wrote:
> > Well done, and thanks for brightening up my chilly, rain storming
> > night, which is completely preventing me from seeing the Leonid
> > showers.
>
> :-(. I'm sorry. It was-- for once-- perfect seeing weather here,
> moonless and brilliantly clear. I hiked with a bunch of friends
from my department to a big clearing on a hilltop outside of town,
with the Milky Way bright overhead and shooting stars everywhere.
At the peak, just after 5 AM, there were about 4-5 a minute falling
in clusters like grapes out of the sickle of Leo. We stayed out
there until dawn, watching Mercury rise and drinking hot cider with
rum and talking about the Harry Potter movie. Well worth sacrificing
a night's sleep for-- and coming back to such nice feedback just
makes it a *perfect* morning!
>
> Ellen
(And I've been utterly obsessed with Harry Potter, so that would have
put the icing on the cake for me <g>. I'm hoping I can write a
Sirius/Remus fic, or perhaps an Oliver/Marcus... if not, I'll just
continue to immerse myself in that fandom for a while anyway [which
is why I've been very, very quiet in Trek lately ;-) ])
cheers
T'Boy
licking lips at the thought of hot cider with rum, on a starry night.
Ellen_F...@hotmail.com
> In a message dated 11/18/01 12:35:33 AM Central Standard Time,
>
> > Title: Toast
> > Author: Ellen Fremedon <Ellen_Fremedon@h...>
> > Date: 11-18-01
> > Posted to celebrate the one-year anniversary of my delurking.
> > Series: DS9/VOY/Red Dwarf Xover
> > Codes: Quark/Neelix, others offstage, toaster, humor
>
> Bwah-ha-ha-ha! <snort> Talkie Toaster is one of my favorite characters
> on Red Dwarf, but even here I can see his days numbered. One too
> many interruptions when Quark and Neelix are in the mood for something
> totally unbready and out he'll go. LOL Loved the story, Ellen.
>
> Anita
"Ask me something totally unbready and not the slightest bit
curranty..." I love the toaster, too. I tried to work in something
about an accident-- or a first-degree toastercide-- involving the waste
disposal and a fourteen pound lump hammer, but I couldn't find a way to
do it :-(. So glad to know you enjoyed the story, Anita.
Ellen
tbo...@hotmail.com
> --- In ASCEML@y..., tboy_7@h... wrote:
remember now who it was by. And as the series has gone on, I've
started to find Snape more and more slashable, as he's gotten more
and more complex.
Oh, agreed <g>. There's a growing wealth of Snape slash out there,
which I'm just starting to appreciate. He also does well paired with
Remus, I've found.
> And the movie only increased that for me-- Alan Rickman was just
> marvelous. Chewing scenery right and left, but in a good way <g>.
I have my tickets for the Australian opening night, 29th. Can't
*wait* - I've heard so much about Rickman's presence on screen.
There's been Snape/Quirrel suggested from some scene in a hallway?
LOL, I'll be watching for it. Most excitement has been about Oliver
Wood, seems Sean Biggerstaff has quickly amassed quite a devoted
following <g>.
>
> Do you have any HP fic on your website?
No, not as yet, but I'll happily rec you a couple of great sites if
you're interested.
cheers
T'Boy
>
> Ellen
>
> or perhaps an Oliver/Marcus... if not, I'll just
> > continue to immerse myself in that fandom for a while anyway
[which
> > is why I've been very, very quiet in Trek lately ;-) ])
> > cheers
> > T'Boy
> > licking lips at the thought of hot cider with rum, on a starry
night.
Ellen_F...@hotmail.com
> > Ellen
> Oh, I'm glad you had such a wonderful night, it sounds brilliant.
> (And I've been utterly obsessed with Harry Potter, so that would have
> put the icing on the cake for me <g>. I'm hoping I can write a
> Sirius/Remus fic,
Mmm, yummy! I've read some good Sirius/Remus, though I can't remember
now who it was by. And as the series has gone on, I've started to find
Snape more and more slashable, as he's gotten more and more complex.
And the movie only increased that for me-- Alan Rickman was just
marvelous. Chewing scenery right and left, but in a good way <g>.
Do you have any HP fic on your website?
Ellen
J. Juls
s
p
o
i
l
e
r
s
p
a
c
e
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
I love the ear infection thing and Ezri's psychoanalyzing the toaster about
his toast fixation. And the way the toaster describes Neelix without giving
away too many details, LOL! Oh, yeah, and the way Morn seems to talk!
I'm glad you don't have the fog that we do, otherwise you wouldn't have been
waiting for the meteors.
Julie
Ellen_F...@hotmail.com
> --- In ASCEML@y..., Ellen_Fremedon@h... wrote:
> > --- In ASCEML@y..., tboy_7@h... wrote:
> > Mmm, yummy! I've read some good Sirius/Remus, though I can't
> remember now who it was by. And as the series has gone on, I've
> started to find Snape more and more slashable, as he's gotten more
> and more complex.
>
> Oh, agreed <g>. There's a growing wealth of Snape slash out there,
> which I'm just starting to appreciate. He also does well paired with
> Remus, I've found.
Ooohh. I like that idea.
> > And the movie only increased that for me-- Alan Rickman was just
> > marvelous. Chewing scenery right and left, but in a good way <g>.
>
> I have my tickets for the Australian opening night, 29th. Can't
> *wait* - I've heard so much about Rickman's presence on screen.
> There's been Snape/Quirrel suggested from some scene in a hallway?
> LOL, I'll be watching for it. Most excitement has been about Oliver
> Wood, seems Sean Biggerstaff has quickly amassed quite a devoted
> following <g>.
> >
> > Do you have any HP fic on your website?
>
> No, not as yet, but I'll happily rec you a couple of great sites if
> you're interested.
I'm *very* interested. Do you know anything with any combination of
Sirius, Remus, and/or Snape where they're not schoolboys?
> cheers
> T'Boy
Ellen_F...@hotmail.com
> ROFLMAO!
>
> s
> p
> o
> i
> l
> e
> r
>
> s
> p
> a
> c
> e
>
> *
> *
> *
> *
> *
> *
> *
>
> I love the ear infection thing and Ezri's psychoanalyzing the toaster about
> his toast fixation. And the way the toaster describes Neelix without giving
> away too many details, LOL! Oh, yeah, and the way Morn seems to talk!
Thank you, Julie! So glad to know you enjoyed it.
> I'm glad you don't have the fog that we do, otherwise you wouldn't have been
> waiting for the meteors.
They were worth the wait, too <vbg>. Probably the only time in a
century that Ithaca's gotten good seeing weather-- I feel very lucky.
Ellen
J. Juls
Julie
Ellen_F...@hotmail.com
>
> Julie
Worth a reread! That's high praise. Thanks!
Ellen
Theganan
> Author: Ellen Fremedon <Ellen_F...@hotmail.com>
Oh, great story, Ellen! I've always loved Red Dwarf, and the toaster is one
delighting character! Weird x-over, but it definitely works!!!
I especially loved the insights of how the toaster thinks about different
people on DS9, people that we know but he doesn't, and how he interprets them
*grins* that was most delighting!
Some lines I especially enjoyed...
S
P
O
I
L
E
R
S
P
A
C
E
> What Neelix needed was not toast. Neelix needed to find a new mate.
Lol! Poor toaster, to realize that toast isn't the ultimate answer to
everything in life...
> The toaster blinked his grill lights. "Hey, you're already sitting here
> pouring your heart out to a toaster. How much more pathetic can you get?"
ROTFL!!!
> "Howdy doodly-doo!" the toaster warbled, its grill lighting and flashing.
> "I'm Talkie, your cheerful breakfast companion. Talkie's the name,
> toasting's the game. Now, would anyone like some toast?"
>
> Quark stared in astonishment. Only the hu-mons, he thought, could imagine
> something this perversely compelling.
*grinsarseoff*
> He would display this one in the front of the bar, he decided. On its own
> table.
>
> Under a spotlight.
Oh, after all these years of being ignored and tossed out of airlocks what an
opportunity for our dear toaster. So much attention, so much love from
everyone around... and don't he deserve it all *grins*
> But the clincher came when she accused
> him-- *him*, the toaster!-- of having a toast fixation, and tried to
> psychoanalyze him! No, he decided. No one who questioned the centrality of
> toast to his existence could possibly be a suitable match for any friend of
> his.
This made me chuckle 'the centrality of toast to his existence' - toast
fixation indeed *grins*. Of course, I deeply respect psychologists *grins*
> The toaster felt his lever prick up with interest. "So... I take it
> you're a bit more... broad-minded... in your approach to romance."
>
> The Ferengi grinned. "Rule of Acquisition number #212: Keep your options
> open."
Ah, and that he does, doesn't he *wicked grin*. It would, of course, be a vast
act of ignorance, by this law, to fix oneself on on gender only, thereby
casting off 50% of options available *grinsatownlogic* Very clever, Ellen!
> For a moment, Quark simply endured it, still shocked, but when Neelix's
> hand came up to caress his earlobe, he fleetingly thought, "Oh, what the
> hell." And leaned into the kiss, and returned it.
*smiles*
> The toaster looked on, his grill light flashing in contentment. He hadn't
> told Neelix the most important point in Quark's favor.
>
> Quark had developed an insatiable appetite for toast.
ROTFL!!! Though I do wonder how long those two lovebirds will endure the
toaster's presence. For all his charms, he can be... well... a little
unnerving sometimes...
Again, a fantastic humour story, and I hope to read more!!!
T'Reija
tbo...@hotmail.com
> I'm *very* interested. Do you know anything with any combination
of
> Sirius, Remus, and/or Snape where they're not schoolboys?
>
<g>.
I'm at work now, when I get home I'll dig through my hard drive and
check the archives. Will send links then.
cheers
Lynda
Ellen_F...@hotmail.com
> > Title: Toast
>
> Oh, great story, Ellen! I've always loved Red Dwarf, and the toaster is one
> delighting character! Weird x-over, but it definitely works!!!
>
> I especially loved the insights of how the toaster thinks about different
> people on DS9, people that we know but he doesn't, and how he interprets them
> *grins* that was most delighting!
Thank you, T'Reija! I love the toaster too, and it was so much fun
thinking about the characters through his eyes.
And thank you so much for letting me know what parts worked best for
you!
> Some lines I especially enjoyed...
>
> S
> P
> O
> I
> L
> E
> R
> S
> P
> A
> C
> E
>
>
>
>
> > The toaster felt his lever prick up with interest. "So... I take it
> > you're a bit more... broad-minded... in your approach to romance."
> >
> > The Ferengi grinned. "Rule of Acquisition number #212: Keep your options
> > open."
>
> Ah, and that he does, doesn't he *wicked grin*. It would, of course, be a vast
> act of ignorance, by this law, to fix oneself on on gender only, thereby
> casting off 50% of options available *grinsatownlogic* Very clever, Ellen!
I think the real reason for the Rules of Acquisition is to have
something to justify whatever you choose to do <g>. Certainly, they
come in handy that way for fanfic writers...
Thank you again for the lovely FB, T'Reija!
Ellen
Ellen_F...@hotmail.com
> > I'm *very* interested. Do you know anything with any combination
> of
> > Sirius, Remus, and/or Snape where they're not schoolboys?
> >
> Sorry to stall the conversation, but I had to go to bed eventually!
> <g>.
>
> I'm at work now, when I get home I'll dig through my hard drive and
> check the archives. Will send links then.
>
> cheers
> Lynda
Looking forward to it!
TIA,
Ellen
bri...@cruzio.com
> Title: Toast
Oh, this was a MOST EXCELLENT story!
I thoroughly enjoyed it and would love to know if
you have a sequel planned. I'd like to see the
wonderful toaster find an appliance to love and
share life with. Especially now that Neelix and
Quark are busy with each other, who will converse
with that cute and charming toaster?
:-D
Britta
cimfi...@hotmail.com
> > I'm at work now, when I get home I'll dig through my hard drive
and
> > check the archives. Will send links then.
> >
> > cheers
> > Lynda
>
I'd be interested in any HP recs you have too. I wanted to start
looking for some to read, but I was sort of reluctant to start for
fear that the vast majority of it was not very good. No Snape
requirement.
cim
Ellen_F...@hotmail.com
> --- In ASCEML@y..., "Ellen Fremedon" <Ellen_Fremedon@h...> wrote:
>
> > Title: Toast
>
> Oh, this was a MOST EXCELLENT story!
Thank you, Britta!
> I thoroughly enjoyed it and would love to know if
> you have a sequel planned. I'd like to see the
> wonderful toaster find an appliance to love and
> share life with. Especially now that Neelix and
> Quark are busy with each other, who will converse
> with that cute and charming toaster?
Hmmm... I'd like to do another story about the toaster, but I'm at a
loss for other appliances I could pair him with. There's Dirk Gently's
refrigerator in _The Long Dark Teatime of the Soul_... there's the
title character of Thomas M. Disch's _The Brave Little Toaster_...
there's... um... um... can't think of any others off the top of my
head. But I'll keep thinking about it.
Ellen
data...@yahoo.com
> > check the archives. Will send links then.
> cheers
> > Lynda
> Looking forward to it!
> TIA,
> Ellen
yes yes (slurpf) hurry please must (glurg) have (argh) snapefic...
laur
tbo...@hotmail.com
> --- In ASCEML@y..., tboy_7@h... wrote:
> > --- In ASCEML@y..., Ellen_Fremedon@h... wrote:
> > > I'm *very* interested. Do you know anything with any
combination of Sirius, Remus, and/or Snape where they're not
schoolboys?
Hi again Ellen, Cim and datalaur
As promised, a few recs from the Harry Potter fandom. To start with,
pairing Snape with Remus, and occasionally adding Sirius, go to The
Parapet, which is an archive dedicated to exactly that.
http://www.theparapet.net/ls/main.html
Fiction page link is:
http://www.theparapet.net/ls/fanfic/index.html
The following fics (amongst others) can be found at The Parapet:
No Choice of Poisons by cmshaw (Snape/Remus)
http://www.theparapet.net/ls/cmshaw/poison.html
Breaking Away by Eggbert (a Snape/Sirius/Remus)
http://www.theparapet.net/ls/Eggbert/break.html
which is a sequel to Only The Lonely (Snape/Remus)
http://www.theparapet.net/ls/Eggbert/lonely.html
There's many more stories archived there, I haven't read them all
yet, but those I've read were enjoyable.
The Archive specifically for Sirius/Remus is called Azkabans Lair.
It's a Bravenet site, and is down for maintenance at the moment
(dammit!), when it's back up I'll post the link.
It hosts many stories, but you might like the multi-authored First
Night series. These have been put on the one page for easy access:
(link likewise to follow when the site comes back up)
These links for Snape fic was given recently on the Hpslash list, but
I haven't been to check it out yet:
http://envy.nu/snape/fics.html
http://www.envy.nu/snapeslash/
My favourite site is called The Double Cross. It's an AU Role
Playing Game WIP - a whole host of authors take one or two characters
each, they write for their characters and the result is blended into
each chapter. The scenario is that Voldemort again wars with the
wizarding world, and wins. The characters from Hogwarts are either
part of Voldemort's new Ministry, Deatheaters etc, or in the
Resistance, called the Double Cross, headed by Dumbledore. Quite
involved, and very well done. I like the creative process they
employ to put the whole thing together.
http://www.geocities.com/HPSRPG/rpg.html
My favourite author writes both Sirius and Charlie in Double Cross.
I'll cautiously add her site, but please note: her dark fic comes
with lots of warnings. Please read them and believe them, and choose
carefully. Please don't come crying back to me if it squicks you!!
<g>
http://nike.ultraservers.net/~bacchae/fiction.htm
Seriously, please heed the warnings.
I've got a whole lot of fic saved and am working my way through it
slowly. There is a lot of dross out there, but also quite a
surprising selection of well written, mature stories. I was a bit
worried going into it, and relieved when I finally came across
writers who seem to know what they're doing <g>.
That'll do for now. If you are interested in other pairings, let me
know, and I'll point you to sites which have them if I can.
Cheers
T'Boy
data...@yahoo.com
watcher. I rather like that little toaster. I sort of fancy him for
Data, if truth be told. (I rather liked that Data/can opener story a
while back. hehehe) Anyhow, the part about Neelix and the
anniversaries was too true; I can just imagine his hangdog
expression. Each of the 'prospects' was better than the last, though
I particularly liked the Dr. Bashir bits. And Kira -- LOL!! Testy
is just the right word for her. Morn was just as I always
suspected. And the toaster was such a wonderful matchmaker. But the
last line is the clincher. Bwahaha!!
some fave lines:
> he'd learned that this reaction to his
> well-meaning offers was regrettably, inexplicably, very common.
>He thought for a moment of trying to interest Neelix in a crumpet,
or possibly a waffle, but on the last anniversary that ploy had
caused Neelix to run weeping from the room
>a state of extreme depression and complete disinterest in grilled
bread products.
> And the toaster, after long cogitation, had come to the surprising
> conclusion that the solution might, in fact, be completely un-toast-
related.
> The toaster blinked his grill lights. "Hey, you're already
sitting here pouring your heart out to a toaster. How much more
pathetic can you get?"
> others that might have been kitchen implements or
> toys-- or sex toys, possibly, one never knew with alien gadgets.
> Quark stared in astonishment. Only the hu-mons, he thought,
could imagine something this perversely compelling.
> the litany of perversions that was his answer sickened him, and he
knew that Morn's tastes would deeply shock the innocent Talaxian.
No. Not Morn.
>And after a night in which he awakened the Lissepian thirty-eight
separate times to ask if he wanted toast, he was returned to Quark as
soon as the bar opened the next morning.
> the clincher came when she accused
> him-- *him*, the toaster!-- of having a toast fixation, and tried
to psychoanalyze him!
Ellen_F...@hotmail.com
> Ahaha! Very funny, and that even with not being a Red Dwarf
> watcher.
<breathes huge sigh of relief> I'm so glad to hear that! I was worried
it wouldn't work for non-Red Dwarf fans. Thank you!
I rather like that little toaster. I sort of fancy him for
> Data, if truth be told. (I rather liked that Data/can opener story a
> while back. hehehe)
Yes, I remember that one! Great story. I wonder how Julie's
categorizing that one for the GO ballots... are can opener stories
slash or het?
Glad you like the toaster; I like him too. He's only in a few
episodes of Red Dwarf, but he's one of my very favorite characters on
the show. If you can rent the eps where you live, "White Hole" has
some great toaster scenes in it, in which he just does *not* take no
for an answer.
Anyhow, the part about Neelix and the
> anniversaries was too true; I can just imagine his hangdog
> expression. Each of the 'prospects' was better than the last, though
> I particularly liked the Dr. Bashir bits. And Kira -- LOL!! Testy
> is just the right word for her. Morn was just as I always
> suspected.
You just *know* he's got to have some really sordid secrets.
And the toaster was such a wonderful matchmaker. But the
> last line is the clincher. Bwahaha!!
> some fave lines:
<snip>
Thank you for such detailed FB, laur. I'm so glad to know what parts
worked especially well for you.
Ellen
bri...@cruzio.com
> > --- In ASCEML@y..., "Ellen Fremedon" <Ellen_Fremedon@h...> wrote:
> >
> > > Title: Toast
> >
> > Oh, this was a MOST EXCELLENT story!
>
> Thank you, Britta!
>
> > I thoroughly enjoyed it and would love to know if
> > you have a sequel planned. I'd like to see the
> > wonderful toaster find an appliance to love and
> > share life with. Especially now that Neelix and
> > Quark are busy with each other, who will converse
> > with that cute and charming toaster?
>
> Hmmm... I'd like to do another story about the toaster, but I'm at
a
> loss for other appliances I could pair him with. There's Dirk
Gently's
> refrigerator in _The Long Dark Teatime of the Soul_... there's the
> title character of Thomas M. Disch's _The Brave Little Toaster_...
> there's... um... um... can't think of any others off the top of my
> head. But I'll keep thinking about it.
>
> Ellen
>
> > :-D
> >
> > Britta
I vote for the fridge. Maybe the toaster will
civilize it somewhat. <eg>
Britta, pondering mechanical love
tbo...@hotmail.com
> It's a Bravenet site, and is down for maintenance at the moment
> (dammit!), when it's back up I'll post the link.
http://www.slashcity.org/~nezad/AzkabanLair.htm
>
> It hosts many stories, but you might like the multi-authored First
> Night series. These have been put on the one page for easy access:
> (link likewise to follow when the site comes back up)
http://www.slashcity.org/~nezad/FirstNightSeries.htm
cheers
Theganan
> >
> > No, not as yet, but I'll happily rec you a couple of great sites if
> > you're interested.
>
> I'm *very* interested. Do you know anything with any combination of
> Sirius, Remus, and/or Snape where they're not schoolboys?
Plenty... for Sirius/Remus, the first place you have to visit is Azkaban's
Lair at www.slashcity.org/~nezad/MainList.htm
Also, at http://pub25.bravenet.com/sitering/nav.php? (or, since I'm unsure
about this link, goto http://rhysenn.morethanart.org/ and follow the link
to the harry Potter Slash Ring) You'll find many different pages for Harry
Potter fiction, each with a small description of what it contains
*grins*
Or, of yourse, you *could* join t'boy and me at hpslash
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/hpslash
*grins*
Cheers,
T'Reija,
who hopes to have her own Harry Potter site up before the new year, and
who's a great fan of S/R - and interest in me giving you the url, Ellen,
when the site's up?
Tom
Title: Toast
The toaster blinked his grill lights. "Hey, you're already
sitting here pouring your heart out to a toaster. How much more
pathetic can you get?"
*LOL*
"Howdy doodly-doo!" the toaster warbled, its grill lighting
and flashing. "I'm Talkie, your cheerful breakfast companion.
Talkie's the name, toasting's the game. Now, would anyone like some
toast?"
*ROFLMAO this was too funny! I loved it. Thanks Ellen for a very
entertaining story. I always loved Red Dwarf and you nailed the
toaster's 'personality' down to a T.
Take care
Tom :-D
jat_sa...@fan.as
> > --- In ASCEML@y..., "Ellen Fremedon" <Ellen_Fremedon@h...> wrote:
> >
> > > Title: Toast
I loved this, Ellen. I miss Red Dwarf (snif) and I was happy to see
the toaster again.
> > I thoroughly enjoyed it and would love to know if
> > you have a sequel planned. I'd like to see the
> > wonderful toaster find an appliance to love and
> > share life with.
Britta, what a brilliant idea!
> Hmmm... I'd like to do another story about the toaster, but I'm
> at a loss for other appliances I could pair him with. There's
> Dirk Gently's refrigerator in _The Long Dark Teatime of the
> Soul_... there's the title character of Thomas M. Disch's _The
> Brave Little Toaster_... there's... um... um...
These are good ideas (I think I'd particularly enjoy the two
toasters) but also, isn't one of the robots on Mystery Science
Theater fundamentally a desk lamp?
I have a desk lamp in my mind...a pair of them, actually. Hmm, some
stop-action animated thing, does anybody else remember it?
Jane
J. Juls
----- Original Message -----
From: <bri...@cruzio.com>
Especially now that Neelix and
> Quark are busy with each other, who will converse
> with that cute and charming toaster?
>
Could it have a three-way with Data and his can opener? Pleez?
Julie
J. Juls
> categorizing that one for the GO ballots... are can opener stories
> slash or het?
>
I decided it was slash (because he slashed himself with the can opener.
They're sharp!)
Julie
Ellen_F...@hotmail.com
> Cheers,
> T'Reija,
> who hopes to have her own Harry Potter site up before the new year, and
> who's a great fan of S/R - and interest in me giving you the url, Ellen,
> when the site's up?
Thanks for the links! And I certainly do want to know when you put
that site up.
Ellen
Ellen_F...@hotmail.com
> *ROFLMAO this was too funny! I loved it. Thanks Ellen for a very
> entertaining story. I always loved Red Dwarf and you nailed the
> toaster's 'personality' down to a T.
>
> Take care
> Tom :-D
Thank you, Tom! I love the toaster, too. Glad to know I got him
right.
Ellen
Ellen_F...@hotmail.com
> --- In ASCEML@y..., Ellen_Fremedon@h... wrote:
> > --- In ASCEML@y..., britta@c... wrote:
> > > --- In ASCEML@y..., "Ellen Fremedon" <Ellen_Fremedon@h...> wrote:
> > >
> > > > Title: Toast
>
> I loved this, Ellen. I miss Red Dwarf (snif) and I was happy to see
> the toaster again.
Thank you, Jane! Glad to know you enjoyed it.
> > > I thoroughly enjoyed it and would love to know if
> > > you have a sequel planned. I'd like to see the
> > > wonderful toaster find an appliance to love and
> > > share life with.
>
> Britta, what a brilliant idea!
>
> > Hmmm... I'd like to do another story about the toaster, but I'm
> > at a loss for other appliances I could pair him with. There's
> > Dirk Gently's refrigerator in _The Long Dark Teatime of the
> > Soul_... there's the title character of Thomas M. Disch's _The
> > Brave Little Toaster_... there's... um... um...
>
> These are good ideas (I think I'd particularly enjoy the two
> toasters) but also, isn't one of the robots on Mystery Science
> Theater fundamentally a desk lamp?
Really? I think Crow is a bowling pin and... um... some other piece of
athletic equipment, and I know Tom Servo is a gumball machine.
> I have a desk lamp in my mind...a pair of them, actually. Hmm, some
> stop-action animated thing, does anybody else remember it?
I remember seeing a pair of computer-animated desk lamps on Sesame
Street.
Ellen
Ellen_F...@hotmail.com
>
> From: <britta@c...>
> Especially now that Neelix and
> > Quark are busy with each other, who will converse
> > with that cute and charming toaster?
> >
>
> Could it have a three-way with Data and his can opener? Pleez?
>
> Julie
Oh dear. You KNOW I'm not going to be able to get that image out of my
head, Julie!
Ellen
tbo...@hotmail.com
wonderful Snape/Remus WIP called Wicked Game by Jaykay, who tells me
the final chapter (Part 10) will be ready by Friday. I'll be able to
give you a URL when it all goes up on site then. It really is a
wonderful spackle, I've just read part 6 and loved it.
T'Boy
--- In ASCEML@y..., tboy_7@h... wrote:
cimfi...@hotmail.com
> That'll do for now. If you are interested in other pairings, let me
> know, and I'll point you to sites which have them if I can.
>
> Cheers
> T'Boy
I am interested in other pairings, though not specific other pairings.
I don't really have a preference yet. But I'd appreciate pointing to
other sites.
Thanks,
cim
tbo...@hotmail.com
http://www.angelfire.com/zine2/remembrall/fic/wickedgame1.html
Vwery skillful blend of canon and fanfiction, almost seamless. And a
sequel is in the works.
Enjoy!!!!
T'Boy
--- In ASCEML@y..., tboy_7@h... wrote:
> Ooh, ooh, one more rec on the way. I'm in the middle of reading a
> wonderful Snape/Remus WIP called Wicked Game by Jaykay, who tells
me the final chapter (Part 10) will be ready by Friday. I'll be able
to give you a URL when it all goes up on site then. It really is a
> wonderful spackle, I've just read part 6 and loved it.
> T'Boy
>
Ellen_F...@hotmail.com
> Here 'tis! It's ready earlier than I thought, good!
>
> http://www.angelfire.com/zine2/remembrall/fic/wickedgame1.html
>
> Vwery skillful blend of canon and fanfiction, almost seamless. And a
> sequel is in the works.
>
> Enjoy!!!!
> T'Boy
Looking forward to reading it. I've started on your other recs-- some
*wonderful* stuff! I can't decide whether I like Lupin better with
Sirius or Snape-- though that threesome of Eggbert's was utterly
droolsome.
Ellen
cimfi...@hotmail.com
> Looking forward to reading it. I've started on your other recs--
some
> *wonderful* stuff! I can't decide whether I like Lupin better with
> Sirius or Snape-- though that threesome of Eggbert's was utterly
> droolsome.
>
> Ellen
>
Yeah, thanks, T'boy. I'm enjoying this a lot. I'm having that same
problem. I guess I find Sirius more believable in the context of
canon, but I think Snape has more inherent tension, which makes it
implicitly sexier even if the authors don't fully/explicitly exploit
it. :)
cim
tbo...@hotmail.com
> --- In ASCEML@y..., Ellen_Fremedon@h... wrote:
> Looking forward to reading it. I've started on your other recs--
> some *wonderful* stuff! I can't decide whether I like Lupin better
with Sirius or Snape-- though that threesome of Eggbert's was utterly
> > droolsome.
> >
> > Ellen
> >
>
> Yeah, thanks, T'boy. I'm enjoying this a lot. I'm having that
same problem. I guess I find Sirius more believable in the context
of canon, but I think Snape has more inherent tension, which makes it
> implicitly sexier even if the authors don't fully/explicitly
exploit it. :)
>
> cim
Hi guys - I'm so glad you're enjoying these stories. I'm coming
across even more good stuff every day - I might have to start a rec
reference file for myself, so I can keep track.
I feel so *fickle*! lol - one moment, Remus is my shining star, then
I can't imagine anyone with more raw sexuality than Sirius. Wait a
day or two, and I can't get Severus out of my head <g>. I feel like
I'm at a cyber-orgy, with lots of incredible partners to choose from.
<EG>
Friend on another list made me LOL last night - referring to a phrase
in her own story, she said she'd be sitting in the theater when the
movie finally comes out here muttering "Oh Professor Snape, you sexy
bitch." lolol! It is going to be so *difficult* for me to watch the
movie now without cracking up, hearing that running through my head
<g>.
Keep on reading, and enjoying. Have you look at Double Cross yet?
I'd love to know what you think of it.
cheers
T'Boy
Ellen_F...@hotmail.com
> > --- In ASCEML@y..., Ellen_Fremedon@h... wrote:
> > Looking forward to reading it. I've started on your other recs--
> > some *wonderful* stuff! I can't decide whether I like Lupin better
> with Sirius or Snape-- though that threesome of Eggbert's was utterly
> > > droolsome.
> > >
> > > Ellen
> > >
> >
> > Yeah, thanks, T'boy. I'm enjoying this a lot. I'm having that
> same problem. I guess I find Sirius more believable in the context
> of canon, but I think Snape has more inherent tension, which makes it
> > implicitly sexier even if the authors don't fully/explicitly
> exploit it. :)
> >
> > cim
And Lupin is such a good foil to either of them-- unfailingly gentle
and courteous and mild-mannered, but with a (literal) wolf waiting to
get out.
What I would love to see is a Sirius/Remus post-POA that fully exploits
the angst potential in that situation... all that I've read so far
have been very sweet and romantic, but none has really dealt with all
the baggage they've both got to be carrying. Either of you read
anything that might fit the bill?
> Hi guys - I'm so glad you're enjoying these stories. I'm coming
> across even more good stuff every day - I might have to start a rec
> reference file for myself, so I can keep track.
>
> I feel so *fickle*! lol - one moment, Remus is my shining star, then
> I can't imagine anyone with more raw sexuality than Sirius. Wait a
> day or two, and I can't get Severus out of my head <g>. I feel like
> I'm at a cyber-orgy, with lots of incredible partners to choose from.
> <EG>
I spent the last few days rereading all four books, for the first time
since I started reading HP slash. I still don't really see much slash
potential with the other characters, but with the slash goggles on,
every interaction between any or all of those three just oozes
slashiness.
> Friend on another list made me LOL last night - referring to a phrase
> in her own story, she said she'd be sitting in the theater when the
> movie finally comes out here muttering "Oh Professor Snape, you sexy
> bitch." lolol! It is going to be so *difficult* for me to watch the
> movie now without cracking up, hearing that running through my head
> <g>.
LOL!! And she'd be right, too, if she did-- I've seen the film once
before I started reading Snapefic and once since. He seemed pretty
slashable the first time, but the second time through-- oh my.
> Keep on reading, and enjoying. Have you look at Double Cross yet?
> I'd love to know what you think of it.
I read chapter 1, and though the premise seems fascinating, I though
the writing in the first chapter was a bit clunky. I'll be back to it,
though.
Ellen
cimfi...@hotmail.com
> And Lupin is such a good foil to either of them-- unfailingly gentle
> and courteous and mild-mannered, but with a (literal) wolf waiting
to
> get out.
>
> What I would love to see is a Sirius/Remus post-POA that fully
exploits
> the angst potential in that situation... all that I've read so far
> have been very sweet and romantic, but none has really dealt with
all
> the baggage they've both got to be carrying. Either of you read
> anything that might fit the bill?
I haven't read anything that was *very* good like that. Last night I
read one which was set post PoA and was angsty, with a nominally
unhappy ending. It didn't satisfy me with its exploration of those
issues, but it was quite yummy, and it's pretty short. "The Nature of
Instinct," by Keelywolfe:
http://www.slashcity.org/~nezad/NatureOfInstinct.htm
I want to see a story between people who knew each other as students
which doesn't assume that either (a) they were lovers back when they
were teenagers or (b) one or both of them has been in love(or violent
lust) for all that time. I mean, it's an easy way to up the angst
(long-unrequited longing), but it's also a sort of cheap way. It's
not as if if two people are lovers as adults and have known each other
since they were 10, that they have to have first come together when
they were 15-18. What if Snape *didn't* secretly lust after Remus
until they met again? What if Sirius and Remus's friendship was
platonic all the way through school? I actually find this more
believable than the other way. ...Any recommendations?
cim
tbo...@hotmail.com
Hey cim
Damn! Think of all the fic I'm going to have to wade through to see
if I can find something fitting your premise. DAMN!
<shrug> Oh well, if I must... <g>.
Nice choice with The Nature Of Instinct - it doesn't dwell overly
long on the repercussions of their time apart; the action soon takes
over and shows you quite well what some of those effects were. But
as you say, it doesn't deal with any of the other issues at all.
Right, I have a mission. Go, seek out darker, meatier stories that
come to grips with the fallout of spending twelve years in Azkaban,
and roughly 144 full moons apart.
I'm on it.
cheers
T'Boy
(but first can I please finish reading some of this new Snapefic? <g>)
tbo...@hotmail.com
> And Lupin is such a good foil to either of them-- unfailingly
gentle and courteous and mild-mannered, but with a (literal) wolf
waiting to get out.
>
> What I would love to see is a Sirius/Remus post-POA that fully
exploits the angst potential in that situation... all that I've
read so far have been very sweet and romantic, but none has really
dealt with all the baggage they've both got to be carrying. Either
of you read anything that might fit the bill?
I see Cim's already mentioned The Nature Of Instinct by Keelywolfe.
I was discussing this problem the other night actually - The First
Night series is all very lovely as an established relationship set,
but you're right, it doesn't get into the angsty side for which
there's so much potential. I think I'll go ask onlist, see if
someone can give some recs. If not, perhaps I'll put it out as a
challenge, see if we can't scare up some of the fic we'd like to read!
>
> I spent the last few days rereading all four books, for the first
>time since I started reading HP slash. I still don't really see
>much slash potential with the other characters, but with the slash
>goggles on, every interaction between any or all of those three just
>oozes slashiness.
Watching the movie will be a similar experience I expect (only 3 more
days to go. 3 slow days). I find that pairings grow on me. What
isn't obvious at first becomes blindingly obvious after reading
someone's take on a particular couple. Not sure whether it's the
result of successful writing, or an easily swayed nature <g>. Both,
probably. I'm currently immersed in Harry/Snape fic.
> <snip>
> LOL!! And she'd be right, too, if she did-- I've seen the film
once before I started reading Snapefic and once since. He seemed
pretty slashable the first time, but the second time through-- oh my.
The phrase "Oh Professor Snape, you sexy bitch," is actually part of
a challenge, so I'm reading all sorts of stories with it included
now. Makes me grin every time <g>.
>
>
> > Keep on reading, and enjoying. Have you look at Double Cross
yet? I'd love to know what you think of it.
>
> I read chapter 1, and though the premise seems fascinating, I
though the writing in the first chapter was a bit clunky. I'll be
back to it, though.
To be honest, I don't even recall what's in Chapter 1 now, as there
are currently 23 posted. The writing styles can change markedly as a
different writer takes the lead for their character. With such a
massive cooperative effort between so many authors, there are of
course some differences in style and quality. Perhaps in the first
chapter they were still finding their feet. Also, some writers have
left and been replaced, so a character will sometimes take a
different turn when that happens. I was interested to note it happen
for the good at one point. I'm just so interested in the whole
collaborative process they use - they've created quite a rich
universe out of it.
cheers
T'Boy
>
> Ellen
Theganan
> since I started reading HP slash. I still don't really see much slash
> potential with the other characters, but with the slash goggles on,
> every interaction between any or all of those three just oozes
> slashiness.
There's one other character I simply love to slash (and will be in an
ongoing series of mine in a couple of minutes time)... that's Bill Weasley.
He only has very brief appearances in the fourth book, but c'mon... a guy
who is described as being 'cool', wearing clothes that would not look out
of place at a rock concert and dragon hide boots, not to mention having
long red hair and wearing a fucking earring...
*sighs*
*goes off to write Bill-Weasley-fic*
T'Reija
data...@yahoo.com
> exploits the angst potential in that situation...
> platonic all the way through school? I actually find this more
> believable than the other way. ...Any recommendations?
Yes, I recommend that you write some fic along these lines,
immediately if not sooner. You have some great ideas that I would
love to see explored.
<Grin>
laur
Ellen_F...@hotmail.com
> There's one other character I simply love to slash (and will be in an
> ongoing series of mine in a couple of minutes time)... that's Bill Weasley.
> He only has very brief appearances in the fourth book, but c'mon... a guy
> who is described as being 'cool', wearing clothes that would not look out
> of place at a rock concert and dragon hide boots, not to mention having
> long red hair and wearing a fucking earring...
>
> *sighs*
>
> *goes off to write Bill-Weasley-fic*
>
> T'Reija
Mmmmm.... I can see that. Let me know when the story's done, T'Reija;
I'd love to read it.
Ellen
cimfi...@hotmail.com
>
> Hey cim
> Damn! Think of all the fic I'm going to have to wade through to see
> if I can find something fitting your premise. DAMN!
I know! I'm so sorry! I'm awfully demanding. And I'm about to
demand *more* input too: do you know of any other main archives for
these pairings? I've almost gone all the way through Azkaban's Lair,
The Parapet, and that other Snape/Lupin (the "ship" one). I'm afraid
cross-generational stuff, ie Snape/Harry, squicks me something fierce,
but maybe you know of some other good pairings, if I've exhausted the
Sirius/Remus and Snape/Lupin?
> Right, I have a mission. Go, seek out darker, meatier stories that
> come to grips with the fallout of spending twelve years in Azkaban,
> and roughly 144 full moons apart.
Or stories in which Sirius and Remus' relationship doesn't start until
PoA or after. If one of them has been in love the whole time, that
doesn't count, either, even if the first time is post-PoA. This is
just curiosity, though: I wondered if you knew of any stories like
that. I didn't intend for you to go wading through the archives,
unless you want to. <g>
cim
cimfi...@hotmail.com
> --- In ASCEML@y..., cimfiction@h... wrote:
> > > What I would love to see is a Sirius/Remus post-POA that fully
> > exploits the angst potential in that situation...
> <snippage> What if Snape *didn't* secretly lust after Remus
> > until they met again? What if Sirius and Remus's friendship was
> > platonic all the way through school? I actually find this more
> > believable than the other way. ...Any recommendations?
>
> Yes, I recommend that you write some fic along these lines,
> immediately if not sooner. You have some great ideas that I would
> love to see explored.
Well, yeah, so would I <g>. But I'm pretty slow, and I'd really
prefer for someone faster to do it. I have some other things,
including some unfinished, which take priority (only practically, of
course, and not in my esteem). Why don't *you* write one?
cim
tbo...@hotmail.com
>
> > There's one other character I simply love to slash (and will be
in an ongoing series of mine in a couple of minutes time)... that's
Bill Weasley.
> > He only has very brief appearances in the fourth book, but
c'mon... a guy who is described as being 'cool', wearing clothes that
would not look out of place at a rock concert and dragon hide boots,
not to mention having long red hair and wearing a fucking earring...
> >
> > *sighs*
> >
> > *goes off to write Bill-Weasley-fic*
> >
> > T'Reija
>
> Mmmmm.... I can see that. Let me know when the story's done,
T'Reija; I'd love to read it.
>
> Ellen
T'Reija, I'm missing parts 1 and 2 of That Summer. I've got parts 3-
18 safely tucked away for now, but can't start until I get a hold of
the beginning. Would you mind forwarding them to me sometime
please? Or a link? No hurry.Thanks very much.
cheers
T'Boy
data...@yahoo.com
You have some great ideas that I would love to see explored.
cim:
> Well, yeah, so would I <g>. But I'm pretty slow, and I'd really
> prefer for someone faster to do it. I have some other things,
> including some unfinished, which take priority (only practically,
of course, and not in my esteem). Why don't *you* write one?
I am indeed thinking of ideas, but first want to finish off my DFF
story. I will really have to sharpen my sarcasm skills before
writing Snape though.
tbo...@hotmail.com
>
> >
> > Hey cim
> > Damn! Think of all the fic I'm going to have to wade through to
see if I can find something fitting your premise. DAMN!
>
> I know! I'm so sorry! I'm awfully demanding. And I'm about to
> demand *more* input too: do you know of any other main archives
for these pairings? I've almost gone all the way through Azkaban's
Lair, The Parapet, and that other Snape/Lupin (the "ship" one). I'm
afraid cross-generational stuff, ie Snape/Harry, squicks me something
fierce, but maybe you know of some other good pairings, if I've
exhausted the Sirius/Remus and Snape/Lupin?
There's a fanfiction archive (details of which I have at home), where
you can search by pairing and / or main character. I'll forward the
link when I get home tonight. I appreciate everyone has squick
factors, and will try to keep the recs focussed on aged-up and aged
alike characters.
>
> > Right, I have a mission. Go, seek out darker, meatier stories
that come to grips with the fallout of spending twelve years in
Azkaban, and roughly 144 full moons apart.
>
> Or stories in which Sirius and Remus' relationship doesn't start
until PoA or after. If one of them has been in love the whole time,
that doesn't count, either, even if the first time is post-PoA. This
is just curiosity, though: I wondered if you knew of any stories
like that. I didn't intend for you to go wading through the
archives, unless you want to. <g>
Oh, well, you know, only if I *have* to <g>. I've posted your
parameters onlist as a Challenge and/or story search. So far I've
had one girl whose muse perked up it's ears, and a handful of recs.
I'll check them out when I get home and likewise forward to you.
cheers
Lynda
tbo...@hotmail.com
> (Reggibar), will let you know as replies come in.
>
> Lynda
Found it:
http://www.fanfiction.net/profile.php?userid=50217
I haven't read these myself yet.
A full listings of authors is found in the directory. Quite
extensive!
That should do you for a while.
cheers
Lynda
tbo...@hotmail.com
> --- In ASCEML@y..., cimfiction@h... wrote:
> > I know! I'm so sorry! I'm awfully demanding. And I'm about to
> > demand *more* input too: do you know of any other main archives
> for these pairings? I've almost gone all the way through Azkaban's
> Lair, The Parapet, and that other Snape/Lupin (the "ship" one).
I'm afraid cross-generational stuff, ie Snape/Harry, squicks me
something fierce, but maybe you know of some other good pairings, if
I've exhausted the Sirius/Remus and Snape/Lupin?
>
> There's a fanfiction archive (details of which I have at home),
where you can search by pairing and / or main character. I'll
forward the link when I get home tonight.
http://www.fictionalley.org/
Known as Astronomy Tower.
Other archives I've found are *very* frustrating, broken links all
over the place, and you have to wade through some questionable
stuff. This fandom could do with a better database. But I haven't
given up!
Some I have bookmarked but not checked out in any detail yet, so
browse at your own discretion:
http://www.geocities.com/forbiddenlair/
http://rhysenn.morethanart.org/slash/
http://www.geocities.com/khirsah_le/
http://www.geocities.com/percy_perfect/
http://www.geocities.com/booya_nz/percy.html
http://www.angelfire.com/me3/imladrys/index.html
http://www.digitalmidnight.net/index2.html (art + tshirts!)
>
>
> >
> > > Right, I have a mission. Go, seek out darker, meatier stories
> that come to grips with the fallout of spending twelve years in
> Azkaban, and roughly 144 full moons apart.
> >
> Oh, well, you know, only if I *have* to <g>. I've posted your
> parameters onlist as a Challenge and/or story search. So far I've
> had one girl whose muse perked up it's ears, and a handful of
recs. I'll check them out when I get home and likewise forward to
you.
A Snape/Lupin you might already have come across, The Subleties of
Loneliness by Keelywolfe:
http://www.ravenswing.com/~keelywolfe/lonely.html
It's a short con-BDSM type fic, adult characters.
I've asked for a URL for another author that's been mentioned
(Reggibar), will let you know as replies come in.
Lynda
Ellen_F...@hotmail.com
> > There's a fanfiction archive (details of which I have at home),
> where you can search by pairing and / or main character. I'll
> forward the link when I get home tonight.
>
> http://www.fictionalley.org/
> Known as Astronomy Tower.
Started looking through here. A lot of stuff I've seen in other
archives, and a lot that just isn't very good, but some interesting
surprises. Would you believe, a Snape/*Hermione* (!) that's actually
good and believable and well-characterized? It's called "Letter From
Exile on a Merciful Morning," by Textualsphinx, and it's here:
http://www.astronomytower.org/authors/textual/LFEO.html
Ellen
cimfi...@hotmail.com
> > > Right, I have a mission. Go, seek out darker, meatier stories
> that come to grips with the fallout of spending twelve years in
> Azkaban, and roughly 144 full moons apart.
> >
> > Or stories in which Sirius and Remus' relationship doesn't start
> until PoA or after. If one of them has been in love the whole time,
> that doesn't count, either, even if the first time is post-PoA.
This
> is just curiosity, though: I wondered if you knew of any stories
> like that. I didn't intend for you to go wading through the
> archives, unless you want to. <g>
>
> Oh, well, you know, only if I *have* to <g>. I've posted your
> parameters onlist as a Challenge and/or story search. So far I've
> had one girl whose muse perked up it's ears, and a handful of recs.
Is this a main HP slash list--or is there one? When I went looking
for them once, I could only find a handful, none of which had very
many members. Do you know of good lists for that genre?
cim
looking forward to whatever you come up with for my "challenge," and
that archive you mentioned.
cimfi...@hotmail.com
>
actually
> good and believable and well-characterized? It's called "Letter
From
> Exile on a Merciful Morning," by Textualsphinx, and it's here:
>
> http://www.astronomytower.org/authors/textual/LFEO.html
>
> Ellen
Ellen, at first I *didn't* believe you, despite all the reason I have
to trust your judgment, so of course I went and read it at once--and
of course you were perfectly right. I was in suspended animation
after finishing it. It was brilliant! It's completely transformed my
understanding of Snape. Wonderful. I wish the author were more
prolific.
And I highly recommend the story to anyone with any familiarity with
harry potter.
cim
tbo...@hotmail.com
> > Oh, well, you know, only if I *have* to <g>. I've posted your
> > parameters onlist as a Challenge and/or story search. So far
I've had one girl whose muse perked up it's ears, and a handful of
recs.
>
> Is this a main HP slash list--or is there one? When I went looking
> for them once, I could only find a handful, none of which had very
> many members. Do you know of good lists for that genre?
>
> cim
> looking forward to whatever you come up with for my "challenge,"
and that archive you mentioned.
Well, so far I'm on (goes to count...) six HP groups.
If you want to check any out, the yahoo site addresses of course all
start the same http://groups.yahoo.com/group/
then fill in any of these:
hpslash
snapeslash
Sirius_Black_and_Remus_Lupin
bloodandaltars
harry_and_ron
double_cross
HPslash seems to be the main conduit for fic of any slash pairing.
Busy traffic. It's very much a mixed bag, some good, some 'run
screaming to the hills'. You also have to contend with a great many
young people (well, a hell of a lot younger than me! lol) chatting to
each other about that totally incomprehensible yaoi anime culture.
Not *all* the time, but enough to get annoying for someone not in the
slightest bit interested. However, listsibs do swap recs around
quite freely, and it's easy to pick up links if you're in the mood
for browsing. Links to artwork can also be interesting. The non-
yaoi chat can be fun.
snapeslash - I've only joined very recently, but it's a condensed
version of the above. Focus on Snape, naturally. Busy traffic. I
like it, so far.
Sirius Black and Remus Lupin - I joined last night, one post has hit
my mailbox so far. No info. I haven't had time to search their
archives yet. But their focus is good, right <g>?
Blood and Altars - better quality list. Created for the benefit of
four writers, and their readers. Discussion of WIPS. Discussions
ocussing on writing, the craft, motivations etc. I'm enjoying it.
Harry and Ron - the first list I found. Disappointing and squick
filled IMO. Will go web only soon, and just check back occasionally
for the recently posted fic. Sometimes a good story will appear,
but...
Double Cross: an update notice list for the AU RPG.
There are other lists out there, I've seen 2 or 3 new ones announced
in the last week alone. Many concentrate on a particular character
or pairing. Some are update notice lists.
BTW - I finally saw The Movie last night (opening night here).
Fantastic.I slashed my way through it of course, that Alan Rickman is
a sexy bitch ;-)
cheers
T'Boy
Theganan
> my mailbox so far. No info. I haven't had time to search their
> archives yet. But their focus is good, right <g>?
It's quite low traffic compared to hpslash or ASCEM, but we get nice
stories there, and of course if you favour mainly this pairing, you don't
have to put up with the high traffic in hpslash. And since a lot of the
authors have been writing there for a while, chat is nice and cosy. Only
drawback is that they sometimes get weird html posts.
T'Reija