NEW: KSOF -- The Last Straw (NC-17, 6/6)
Liz
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Leyland lips tightened and his eyes closed briefly, and when he spoke,
the Lancashire accent had faded again and there was only his north country
lilt overlaying the standard Anglish. "I know. I've put it off, worrying
that I'd not get a ship again if I was thought to be unbalanced, but I
think I'll have to do it." He gave them both a twisted little smile. "In
the meantime, there's always Hikaru. You'll not mind, Captain, if he spends
some off-duty time with me?"
Kirk frowned but said mildly, "Lt. Sulu is an adult. He can spend his
own time with whom he pleases."
Leyland said cryptically to Spock, "Will you explain, then? I haven't
the heart for it."
Spock said "Yes," and he nodded to them both and walked away in the
direction of the mess hall.
Kirk raised an eyebrow at Spock as they entered the lift. "Please do
explain. I was about to ask you what that was all about anyway."
Spock drew a deep breath. "It has to do with losing his bondmate, and
the fact that it was a traumatic sudden loss with no preparation. On Vulcan
there are safeguards to protect the surviving member of a bonded pair if
one of them dies of an illness, or of old age. And there are methods to
ease the pain when a bond is severed abruptly, as Commodore Leyland's was.
Without those safeguards, the survivor may seek other compatible partners
with an almost obsessive need."
"You're saying he propositioned me out of some compulsive need for--for
physical contact? And that he's going to pursue Sulu for the same reason?
That sounds almost . . . predatory. Are you suggesting that either of us
would behave the same way?"
Spock said dryly, "I've no doubt he found you attractive without any
other motive. And Lt. Sulu has made it clear he does not need to be
'pursued,' as you put it. But yes, if we were bonded and one of us were
suddenly killed, the other would feel that same need for physical
closeness. It is not logical, but neither is it ungovernable. Commodore
Leyland controlled himself so well that I did not perceive his condition
until he allowed me to see it. You would do as well."
They exited the lift and walked slowly down the corridor on the
officers' deck. "It is one reason I am reluctant for us to bond," Spock
said. "Much as I desire a bond, I must acknowledge the risks each of us
faces."
"Can we be lovers for long without a bond?"
"Until the time of my next pon farr. We will have at least several years
to determine the best course for our lives."
Kirk stopped at Spock's cabin door. "Your quarters will be more
comfortable for you," and Spock nodded and touched the keyplate.
He called up the peripheral room lights but left off the overhead
fixtures. The dim lighting at floor level and the spots of light from the
individual lamps cast pools of soft radiance around the room, leaving their
faces in shadow.
"Will you allow me to command you now?" Spock asked him, his voice
husky, and Kirk nodded his assent, surprised but willing to follow. He'd
always known there were depths to Spock that were not obvious to everyone,
but for those depths to include sensuality and desire and jealousy, and the
empathy and compassion he'd shown Leyland, had been a shock. It was almost
as though he were seeing a different person in the skin of his First
Officer, whom he'd thought he knew. The revelation appealed to everything
in him--his own frankly sensual nature, his enjoyment of risk-taking, the
lure of the unknown. And the little voice that had been telling him lately
that he was ready now to see the same person on the other side of the bed
every morning, ready for stability, ready to plan a life together with
someone and to grow old with that person. He and Spock could not grow old
together as two humans could, or two Vulcans, but Spock had told him once
that his life expectancy would not be that of a full Vulcan, so perhaps
there would not be too many years for Spock alone.
Spock held him lightly at the waist, his fingers teasing under the hem
of Jim's tunic. His palms radiated heat; Jim imagined them cupping his ass
and inhaled sharply. The fingers crept up his back under the fabric,
lifting the shirt up along Spock's arms. Jim raised his arms obediently and
Spock slipped it over his head and tossed it aside. Spock's eyes appraised
him as though he were on display, living flesh for sale, and he put one
hand on his hip and thrust his sex forward.
"You are very wanton," Spock commented, with a small smile.
"You look at me like that and expect me not to react?"
"If this were early Vulcan, and you stood on the auction block like
that, you would fetch the highest price ever given. I could probably not
afford you."
He felt a little stab of surprise, both that pre-reform Vulcan might
have entertained slavery and that he'd been right about the look in Spock's
eyes. "Suppose you had bought me," he suggested provocatively. "What would
you have done with me?"
The occasional partner over the years had wanted to play b & d games
with him but it had never appealed to him. Holding a person's life in the
palm of his hand was not a thrill; it was an everyday sober responsibility.
Nor was the submissive role something he could easily give--the pretense,
the acoutrements, the grovelling, just seemed pointless and silly. But
Spock--that wouldn't be just a game, not if Spock exerted his own strength
and purpose. Spock outreached him in so many ways that it was his own
position over Spock in actual rank that sometimes seemed unreal. To
acknowledge that, to step down from the title and the privilege and let
Spock be in every way who he actually was, gave him a thrill that nothing
in their professional relationship came near to matching.
Spock's face shifted subtly, the power that he normally kept hidden
coming to the fore. "I would train you to obey my every whim," he said
softly. "I would give you such pleasure that I had only to withhold it for
you to beg to please me."
"What would you have me do?" Kirk asked him, trying for sultry but
suspecting that all he could manage at this point was breathless. The more
he thought about this little fantasy the better he liked it. He had a
sudden vision of McCoy listening to the conversation, and his chin going
*thud* on the floor. It was intensely erotic to imagine the relationship
with Spock as so out of the ordinary that no one who knew them could
conceive of it. It would be theirs alone, and anyone who might indulge in
their own fantasies about their captain and first officer would be so wide
of the mark that it would hardly matter what they thought.
Spock inhaled deeply, his nostrils flaring. "Show me what gives you
pleasure," he ordered.
Kirk grinned--that he could do. He knew he had a tendency to show off a
bit anyway. "I like my ass held," he said suggestively, moving closer, but
Spock shook his head.
"What else? *Show* me."
He started to speak, then heard the emphasis in Spock's voice, and
brought one hand up to a nipple. "I like to squeeze them," he said,
demonstrating with thumb and middle finger, "and then flick them, like
this." He watched Spock watching the motion of his index finger. Polite
attention, no more. Spock was going to have to do better than polite
attention, he thought, with an inward grin.
"Show me something more."
"I might have to take some clothes off to show you any more," he said,
sliding his palms down inside his waistband in as provocative a manner as
he could.
"You have my permission to do so."
*I have your permission, do I?* Kirk thought, even more amused. His cock
was already poking at his fly, something that Spock could not have failed
to see, so he opened his trousers and let it out. "Sometimes," he said, "I
like to just brush it against something soft." He glanced over his
shoulder. "Like my shirt there."
"Demonstrate." The deep voice was approaching gravelly, Kirk noticed.
Spock might be able to keep his face under control but he was definitely
having trouble with his voice.
He bent over and picked up the shirt, posturing a little more than was
really necessary, and dragged it across the head of his cock. In truth, he
usually liked more and heavier stimulation than that, but anything he did
right now was immensely erotic. Just to show off like this for Spock was
making his balls so tight they hurt. He'd never been so blatantly
exhibitionist before, but it was turning him on like a rocket, and if Spock
didn't--dammit--do something, pretty quick, he was going to make a real
fool of himself. It was even more arousing to realize that Spock might be
intending him to do just that.
"You like that?" he purred.
Spock cocked his head to one side. "I am sure it is an interesting
sensation."
"Doesn't affect you at all?" There was no evidence that Spock was aroused.
"Vulcans are capable of more control than humans," Spock informed him,
and Kirk chuckled wickedly and began to push his trousers down.
"Just *more* control, Mr. Spock? That's all?" He let the trousers fall
to his boot tops, effectively hobbling him, and waited to see what
instructions he would get next.
"Stimulate yourself."
*What the hell does he think I've been doing?* Kirk wondered, but
obeyed, curling his hand around his cock and slowly, sensuously, stroking
himself.
"Is this what you want?"
"I want to see what you do when you think no one is watching you."
Kirk almost stopped what he was doing, in sheer disbelief. "Have you
watched me?" he croaked. God, he didn't know whether to be even more turned
on, or completely put off at the thought that Spock might have spied on him.
Spock's face twitched just a bit. "I prefer not to answer that
question," he said calmly, but there was enough teasing in his eyes to give
himself away.
"So you haven't watched me," Kirk guessed. Time to up the ante a little.
"You just want to know what you've been missing, is that it?" He removed
his hand from his cock and bent over to pull off his boots and remove his
trousers. His cock bobbed up and down as he moved, and out of the corner of
his eye he could see Spock's transfixed gaze on it.
"Here's what you've been missing." He very coolly cupped his hands
around his balls and squeezed lightly, making his cock stand out even more
prominently. "This is what you wanted to do, isn't it?" He touched one
finger to the weeping slit and smeared the fluid around the head. "You
wanted to see me come, didn't you?" And he began to stroke himself hard,
letting the sensation mount now, not holding anything back.
Spock's lips parted. He might have been holding his breath. In the
energy that flowed between them it was hard to say which of them controlled
the other. Jim wasn't sure he'd be able to stay on his feet when he
climaxed, but he was going to get a reaction from Spock if he had to turn
his balls inside out.
In the silence punctuated only by Jim's panting breath, Spock began to
remove his clothing. The tunic first, pulled off deliberately one sleeve at
a time, then drawn over his head, leaving a figure all in black. He pried
off one boot with the other, and then the second boot with a sock-clad
foot, all of it without taking his eyes off Kirk. With exquisite slowness,
he peeled off the tee shirt and stood in trousers and socks alone, his
black chest hair disappearing down along his belly inside the pants.
Kirk had a stunning vivid knowledge of what the end of this joint show
was going to be, and held himself back as much as he could. Biting the
inside of his cheek helped for a moment, but as Spock opened the front of
his trousers, he suddenly and explosively lost the contest. Caught up in
the strip-tease, he hadn't even noticed when Spock allowed his arousal to
take effect, but the sight of the Vulcan cock emerging from Spock's black
briefs, as enlarged and rigid as anyone could want, literally took his
breath away from him. His balls contracted with such intensity that if he
had been able to make a sound, it would have been a scream. His knees
buckled. He had wanted his ass held, and Spock grasped him with such force
that when he began to think again at all, he knew he was probably going to
have handprints on his cheeks. Spock held him up and pulled them together
tightly and his cock spewed its geyser of semen between their bodies,
wetting them both with trails of white.
Spock lowered him to the floor, pushed away the briefs and trousers in
one fluid motion and coated himself with Jim's come. "Give yourself to me,"
he whispered fiercely, his fingers poised at the meld points. Half dazed,
Kirk murmured, "Yes . . . " and felt Spock's mind in his. He had one frozen
second of fear, in which he thought Spock had completely lost control and
would bond them, and then felt his ass relax to the consistency of softened
butter and the hard Vulcan cock enter him in one long smooth stroke. It was
done so quickly that he was filled before his body could react. Spock's
hand left his brow and the strong arms lifted his legs and held them up.
Spock covered him. Rigidly motionless, beads of sweat on his upper lip,
black eyes glittering, he pinned Kirk to the floor.
His body fractured into zones of sensation, Kirk arched his back and
impaled himself even more deeply onto Spock, and Spock began to move in
him. The rough carpet prickled his back and shoulders, the movement against
his prostate set off another round of sensation in his cock, his balls
throbbed every time Spock pressed against the back of his scrotum. He could
still feel the imprint of Spock's fingers on his ass. Inside him, something
swelled and before his over-stimulated brain could register the sensation,
something burst, and jets of fluid erupted into him, The muscles of his
back and his ass convulsed, and his own cock jerked and throbbed again in
sympathetic resonance. His labored breathing caught on itself in a long
shuddering moan, and was echoed by the sound of Spock's guttural gasping.
The conflagration slowly cooled. Spock softened and slipped away from
him, and Jim pushed his arms away and lowered his legs to the deck.
"You okay?" he asked, with some concern. Spock knelt motionless, his
head hanging.
Spock rasped, "Yes." He slowly sat back on his heels, still breathing hard.
"The intensity was . . . unexpected," he said.
Jim grinned at him. He'd gotten the reaction he wanted and then some.
"Serves you right," he said, trying to talk around the continuing need for
oxygen. "You made me put on a show that I've never done for anyone else.
You'd better find that intense if you ever want me to do it again."
Spock lowered himself carefully to lie next to him. "You have never done
that? I expected your sexual repertoire to be quite varied."
He was teasing again, Jim saw. "Looks as though it was varied enough for
you," he said with a grin.
Spock rolled over and kissed him lazily. "Indeed. A scientists is always
open to new possibilities."
"Not right this minute, though, I hope." The shock and joy of this new
vision of Spock still buoyed him, but the floor was hard and other needs
were beginning to make themselves known. Jim got up, stretching. "Whew.
Maybe we'd better get in bed first next time. I'm going to get cleaned up.
Shower with me?"
Spock nodded and pushed himself up as stiffly as Jim had done. "You were
not offended by my precipitous behavior?"
"Essentially taking over my body?" Jim asked, wondering if a little more
teasing was safe. He pursed his lips. "It made for an interesting first
time. In the future though . . . "
He trailed off, watching the uncertainty on Spock's face. "In the
future, Mister," he purred, sliding his hands around his lover's waist,
"since I belong to you, I think you can do whatever you want with me."
Spock's face was still a bit tentative. "You do know that I will never
take advantage of our relationship, do you not? You must be free to command
me as you always have."
"If I was worried about that we wouldn't be here right now," Jim told
him. "I think you're more concerned about potential problems than I am."
"When my Time comes upon me again, if we are bonded, I will take what my
body needs with no concern for your wishes or priorities. Do you understand
my concern?"
"Yes," Kirk told him seriously. "But that's well in the future. We'll
have time to plan, time to make decisions. Now can be just for ourselves,
can't it?"
Spock's eyes glowed. "Yes." He pulled Kirk to him and ran his hands down
Kirk's back to his ass, rubbing against him sensuously. "You are most
enticing."
"I am most sticky," Kirk corrected him. "And so are you. Shower, Mr.
Spock!"
They managed to bathe without more than a few close encounters, and lay
together comfortably in Spock's bunk talking drowsily of unimportant
things. Spock finally pulled a coverlet over himself and called the lights
down. Their hands touched and held under the blanket. "I love you," Spock
said softly.
"Coulda fooled me," Jim teased, then turned serious. "I think I owe
Donald Leyland a big favor. Remind me to thank him, okay?"
"Mmm-hmm," Spock said, more than half asleep, and in the silence
afterward, Jim said softly, "I love you."
He wasn't positive that Spock had heard him, but there would be plenty
of other opportunities. He could say it again when they woke in the
morning. Perhaps one of them would wake during the night, and rouse the
other, and while they were exploring new possibilities they could say it to
each other again. He wanted to make long slow love to Spock next time, to
contrast with the almost overwhelming intensity of this first time. He
wanted to fuck Spock in the shower. He wanted to see Spock do what Spock
had made him do, watch him stimulate himself to climax. He wanted . . . and
the assorted stresses of the day caught up with him and pulled him down
into sleep, and when he woke, it was to feel a smile curving his mouth and
a hot hand in a sensitive place, and he gave himself over in joy to his
Vulcan master.
----------------------------------------
The challenge was that Spock would put up with Kirk fucking around with
women, but when it came to another man . . .
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
ASCEM messages are copied to a mailing list. Most recent messages
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Duny...@aol.com
probably one of the greatest characterizations of Spock I've ever seen.
Certainly it gets my vote for the best DeepBuriedBlazingPassions!Spock ever
written. And since there was plenty of BestFirstOfficerintheFleet!Spock in
the story as well, I was one happy Trekker when I read it.
Everything about the story was wonderful, including Leyland (it was cool to
make him from the North of England), though I did wonder how McCoy could
think that K&S were lovers without knowing for sure, though maybe I'm just
overestimated what a medical tricorder can tell him.
The dynamics and exchange of power in the sex scene were absolutely perfect.
I'm in awe of what it takes to write scene between two strong men who
understand exactly where they stand with each other both sexually and
professionally.
But I loved nothing so much as the dialogue, especially Spock's. The two
passages I loved most of all were both in Part 5. This one should be made
into handouts and inserted in the K/S Writers' Inservice Training Manual as
an example of K/S Expression That is So Apt and Perfect It Can Hardly Be
Surpassed:
> He said, "I want to be by your side in everything. I want to touch you
> in all the ways lovers touch each other." He took a deep breath. "I want to
> guard your back, and take you inside me in the night, and wake next to you
> in the morning. I want to make you feel everything your body can feel and
> hear you cry out and feel you tremble. And when we are old, or our enemies
> have found us, I want to hold your mind close in mine and go with you into
> the darkness and be with you for all time."
And this was well worth Kirk's hearty laugh as an example of the Spock who
knows everything that happens among the crew
> "Perhaps I should first determine whose money is on which conclusion,"
> Spock said gravely.
Liz, you drew a challenging K/S theme and handled it brilliantly.
Judith
Liz
DeepBuriedBlazingPassions!Spock -- I love that! It's exactly what I
had in mind so I'm certainly glad he came across that way.
> Everything about the story was wonderful, including Leyland (it was
cool to
> make him from the North of England), though I did wonder how McCoy
could
> think that K&S were lovers without knowing for sure, though maybe
I'm just
> overestimated what a medical tricorder can tell him.
Leyland was drawn partly from my north of England dad. I've wanted to
play with that dialect and rhythm for a long time--I love to hear it.
His mother was from Liverpool and his dad was a London cockney and he
could prattle on at length in either dialect. I can almost still hear
him now, ten years after his death.
Re McCoy--this is not the tuned-in-to-his-captain McCoy that I
usually visualize. This one is a little more 'just the ship's doctor.'
> But I loved nothing so much as the dialogue, especially Spock's.
The two
> passages I loved most of all were both in Part 5. This one should
be made
> into handouts and inserted in the K/S Writers' Inservice Training
Manual as
> an example of K/S Expression That is So Apt and Perfect It Can
Hardly Be
> Surpassed:
That is high praise indeed and I thank you very much. That speech of
Spock's was what the whole story was aiming at. I had that in mind
before I even started to write the rest of it.
>
Thank you so much for your feedback--that makes all the work
worthwhile, as you know. Especially in this case--I struggled with
the ending of this one for ages. Almost threw it out and started over
because I just couldn't make them come together in a way that came
naturally out of the rest of the story but was something more than
just another first time fuck. Getting feedback like this is my reward
for all the frustrating hours I spent on it.
Liz
Gilda Felt
> Headers and disclaimers in Part One
> ---------------------------------------
>
> the assorted stresses of the day caught up with him and pulled him
down
> into sleep, and when he woke, it was to feel a smile curving his
mouth and
> a hot hand in a sensitive place, and he gave himself over in joy to
his
> Vulcan master.
>
and a nice person to boot. I love how Spock and Kirk worked things
out in an adult manner, willing to ultimately talk and listen to each
other. I love that you didn't have them together yet so there was no
infidelity involved. And if I haven't made it perfectly clear yet, I
love this story.
Gilda
Duny...@aol.com
> I struggled with
> the ending of this one for ages. Almost threw it out and started over
> because I just couldn't make them come together in a way that came
> naturally out of the rest of the story but was something more than
> just another first time fuck.
To me, what is so wonderful about this story is that it shows so plainly the
high stakes for both men of a K/S relationship. Not just the obvious issues
like risking the friendship, problems with Starfleet and the command
relationship (although those are not trivial, of course), but the danger
posed by what both men know will be the sheer intensity and force of the
relationship. The sex scene is a fitting resolution to the story because it
is grounded in such a clear-sighted understanding of what's at stake in the
relationship, both risks and rewards.
Judith
J S Cavalcante
>The two
>passages I loved most of all were both in Part 5. This one should be made
>into handouts and inserted in the K/S Writers' Inservice Training Manual
as
>an example of K/S Expression That is So Apt and Perfect It Can Hardly Be
>Surpassed:
>> He said, "I want to be by your side in everything. I want to touch you
>> in all the ways lovers touch each other." He took a deep breath. "I
want to
>> guard your back, and take you inside me in the night, and wake next to
you
>> in the morning. I want to make you feel everything your body can feel
and
>> hear you cry out and feel you tremble. And when we are old, or our
enemies
>> have found us, I want to hold your mind close in mine and go with you
into
>> the darkness and be with you for all time."
Wasn't that the BEST?! Judith, I agree completely. I haven't sent Liz my
complete feedback on this one yet; mostly I yelled at her in all caps that
she's a genius. But that paragraph--YES, we must put it into the manual.
She has captured the essence of K/S in that little paragraph.
LL&P
J S
Ista...@aol.com
l...@ematic.com writes:
<< l...@ematic.com (Liz) >>
I have to tell you that I enjoyed several things about this story. One,
Kirk's confusion. Two, McCoy's observations, and three: Spock's reaction. All
handled well and written well. Thanks for the tale.
Liz
> I have to tell you that I enjoyed several things about this story.
> One, Kirk's confusion. Two, McCoy's observations, and three:
> Spock's reaction. All handled well and written well. Thanks for the
> tale.
Thank you. I enjoyed your very precise and succinct feedback!
Liz
Ista...@aol.com
writes:
<< Thank you. I enjoyed your very precise and succinct feedback!
Liz
>>
Hee hee, sorry. I was at work and I tend to get in the succinct mode at that
place.
Liz
>
> Liz
>
> >>
> Hee hee, sorry. I was at work and I tend to get in the succinct
mode at that place.
I wasn't complaining! I can definitely understand the importance of
not dawdling on certain sites <g>
Liz