USS INDEFATIGABLE: "Changed Man" (Roland enters)

[noah]

 

Michelle Somethingoranother wrote:

30.1800
 

   Lexie continued towards her office and dropped the
roses in the garbage as she rounded the door. She
didn't have time for his nonsense. She headed to her
desk just as her first appointment entered. She smile
friendly and extended a hand.
 
 

<NEW>

Roland hesitated before taking her hand and shaking it. Several months back during the Tsuraziir Action he'd been embarrassed in the hall outside his quarters, and she'd been one of the several crew in the corridor then. That was a moment in time he'd put behind him, not forgotten but swept aside with the debris of the last six months of his life which was now filled with more contemporary concerns. But as he realized this was the first time in all those months that he had been alone with this officer... they hadn't even caught a turbolift or shared a cup of java in the mess... he remembered stumbling out of his room that day. He could have laughed at the memory, but didn't. He didn't even smile about it. It had nothing to do with her - anymore than it had to do with the nameless and faceless others who blurred by him on their way to their stations that day.

"Lieutenant..." he said apologetically, figuring she was adept enough to pick up on his slight hesitation at shaking her hand. He waited for her to tell him to sit. He hadn't sought a counseling session with her, just had requested a consult from the starbase with whoever was available. He hadn't known who it was until he saw her in the room. At least she hadn't raised an eyebrow at him.

He really wasn't sure if he was looking for advice, or a sounding board, or just someone he could speak to in confidence.  A consult seemed a step he could take without much risk except 30 minutes of his time. He knew he was facing a decision he didn't want to make without thought, without help. Going to a friend was out of the question... his friends tended towards telling him what they thought he wanted to hear... tended to support him whatever he decided. He couldn't go to the Captain... Captain's were much too busy to have time for every lowly officer to bend his ear with their minor dilemmas. He couldn't picture sitting down with Ullalem over mugs of Starbucks and blueberry muffins and conversing on his life and football scores.

The Ullalem was like some giant institution to Roland - one he lived with here, one he worked for, one he respected...but was not a being he viewed as approachable. He couldn't anymore envision himself walking up to the Ullalem and saying "Excuse me Captain, do you have a minute for some off duty banter?" The very thought that Ullalem could socialize with him and enjoy it was ludicrous to Roland. Which bothered him more than a bit. Was he off-base? Would the Ullalem enjoy a game of darts with the lowly Ensigns off duty? Would the Ullalem smile at their lame jokes and tell them better ones? Or was there some other way he could feel more connected to his Captain?

Roland had often thought about Captain Sandy, Alexander Sinclair, the last six months.  What had transpired to incapacitate the Captain, what had besieged him and led to the CDR Ullalem-three Starfleet to become the Acting CO of the USS Indefatigable was still on some levels unknown to Roland. Roland was Terran, and open minded to aliens in Command of Terrans, of course; he held no racist thoughts in his head. He'd worked with non-Terrans throughout his career, and often they were superior officers. But he always identified with his Captains in the past.

The last mission - when maybe his best friend on the ship, Lt. Max Castro, had been killed by the enemy - the last mission had changed Roland... a change he didn't notice until he had gotten off the ship and away from the ship on his shore leave.

He didn't know if the change would last or fade away. Old habits were hard to break he knew.

He waited for her to tell him to sit.
 
 

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SUMMARY

30.1800 Lexie heads to her office to meet her next appointment.

30.1801 Her next appopintment turns out ot be Roland Fingerhut who's looking to consult with someone.
 

Submitted by Noah

Noah's NAV Department Personnel - INDEFATIGABLE
_______________________________
Lt. James T. "JB" Brolin NAV, PC
Ensign Roland Fingerhut, a-NAV, sPC
Ensign Peter Patre, NPC

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"jeux sans frontieres"