The Truth About Bobby Moore
Eyan The Mackem (oo)
England and West Ham United captain Bobby Moore became embroiled in
controversy over the theft of an item of jewellery - namely, one gold
bracelet encrusted with sapphires and diamonds - from a Mexico City store.
Did he steal it, or didn't he? Was he just another free-loading robbing
Cockney twat, or the victim of a misunderstanding or disgraceful slur
campaign by those dirty greaseball Dago Mexican bastards? Well, here I
can finally reveal the truth.
During the early 'sixties, when Moore was a twin-testicled young
footballer with aspirations of fame and wealth beyond his wildest
Cockney wide-boy dreams, he was a bookies runner working for the
notorious Kray Twins in and around London's gritty East End. Indeed, it
was Ronnie and Reggie who got him a trail at West Ham. Moore was merely
a player of mediocre talent, and yet he wanted to play football
professionally. Having been turned down by the likes of Millwall,
Charlton Athletic, Brentford, Leyton Orient, Spurs,Arsenal and Doncaster
Rovers, it was at West Ham that he was finally successful. And this was
only after Reggie Kray had gone to the ground after a match and skewered
the chairman's hand to the pocket of a billiard table.While Reggie
bummed him from behind.
In his autobiography entitled 'I Was A Nasty Piece Of Work As Well You
Know' the fourth Kray twin, the hitherto forgotten Duncan Kray, revealed
what really happened. 'You see, young Bobby was a decent footballer, but
never what you might call a true talent. Reggie and Ron had already got
Geoff Hurst and Martin Peters on the books at Upton Park, as well as
John Bond and Sir Trevor Brooking. But Bobby wanted to play for them as
well. It was left to Reg and Ron to turn the screw and really put on the
pressure. When Bobby's mum pleaded with them to do something, they did.
In fact, Bobby owed his entire football career, and all that success, to
the persuasive bullying and gangland nous of Reggie and Ronnie Kray.'
Indeed indeed, so much so that, come the World Cup of 1966, England,
needing to win in their own back yard, approached the Krays in order to
try and get the games fixed in their favour. In the first round, Krays
henchmen such as Frankie Knuckles, Eyan the Mackem,Buster Bert, Dirty
Bastard Sid and the notorious Three-Death Mulloy put the frighteners on
all of England's opposition. 'It was terrible,' wrote the fifth Kray
twin, Stan, in his autobiography 'And me' in 1976. 'They scared the
shite out of the Russians, Argentinians, Portuguese and...er...the
others what England beat, just so Bobby Moore could become the first and
so far only England captain to lift the Julie Rimmer Trophy.'
Sir Alf Ramsey, it is alleged, met with Barbra Windsor's husband and
some of the Great Train Robbers, and the whole thing was set up. For the
final, the referee and both linesmen, as well as the German team and
management, had all been warned that, should they try and stop England's
glorious march to supreme global football domination, they would be
carved up a fucking treat,you coont. Just you see if they weren't.
Come the World Cup in Mexico 1970, then, it was payback time for Bobby
Moore. Speaking in an interview with Diddy David Hamilton on the
Lifestyle Channel in 1995, the sixth and final Kray twin, Howard, spoke
about it for the first time. "Bobby had had his success, and Reg and Ron
wanted their favour back in return. They wanted a nice gold bracelet for
our mum, so they forced Moore to pinch one while he was over there in
Mexico. The idea was that, while Bobby Charlton was boring everyone
senseless about how he survived Munich and how great Man United are and
how he scored that brilliant goal against Portugal in 1966 blah blah
blah...Bobby would sneak in and nick the bracelet. He would then conceal
it inside his false testicle and smuggle it through customs and home to
Britain. The plan went brilliantly until Moore suffered a pang of guilt
and decided not to rob it after all. That was when things started to get
nasty..."
The result of this was that the nororious murdering bastard Kray Twins
then carried out their threat - that if Moore didn't do what they said
they would see to it that England lost the World Cup. It was an
ingenious plan. They hired a hitman who flew over to Mexico with a tin
of tuna what had gone past its sell-by date. On the night before
England's all-important semi-final clash with West Germany, he posed as
a waiter and answered a room service call to the room of England skipper
Moore. The specially-prepared tuna sandwich would then poison Moore and
kill him, resulting in England getting knocked out the following day.
However, at the last minute Moore had changed rooms with England 'keeper
Gordon Banks because his room was a bit drafty. The sandwich, msitakenly
delivered to Banks's room instead, thus poisoned the wrong man. In the
event all it did was give the eventual one-eyed goalkeeper the Brad
Pitts and put him out of action. And England lost anywaybecause Peter
Bonetti came in and was fucking shit.
But the last laugh was with Moore. At a charity prison football match in
1989, he shook hands with both Ronnie and Reggie Kray and they caught
cancer off him. It was the disease from which they all fucking snuffed
it in the end. Strangely, as a bizarre postscript to this tale, when the
former England skipper's medals were disgracefully sold to the highest
bidder by his grabbing widow in 1999, as well as his World Cup winner's
medal, FA Cup winner's medal, European Cup Winner Cup medal, numerous
other trophies,mother-of-pearl false testicle and 106 England caps, the
Sotheby's lot included a gold bracelet encrusted with diamonds and
sapphires. His widow's claim that it was presented to him by the FA in
recognition of his services to the game have never been proven.
� Thacker
Snigger �
Tappy luvs bums �
Lappy@nufc.com Tappy Lappy
"
> other trophies,mother-of-pearl false testicle and 106 England caps, the
> Sotheby's lot included a gold bracelet encrusted with diamonds and
> sapphires. His widow's claim that it was presented to him by the FA in
> recognition of his services to the game have never been proven.
>
>
> � Thacker
>
>
> Snigger �
>
> Tappy luvs bums �
>
How big's yer knob Eyan?
Eyan The Mackem (oo)
"Tappy Lappy" <Tappy La...@nufc.com> wrote in message
news:LsydnbAQuPdDfW7X...@bt.com...
Oooo ah!
Wot a thing to ask
Lappy@nufc.com Tappy Lappy
"Eyan The Mackem (oo)" <he...@there.com> wrote in message
news:ykTIm.9450$_87...@newsfe06.ams2...
Cause if it's a biggun, yer can gan fook yersell. :-)
Eyan The Mackem (oo)
Snigger...
Wot yer biting for Tappy? Any need like?