Draftspeak 101: A lesson in NFL Draft day terminology

[observer]

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April 18, 2005 (article 1 of 2)
By Larry Weisman, USA TODAY
http://www.usatoday.com/sports/football/2005draft/2005-04-18-terminology-focus_x.htm
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Teams might trade up. Or trade down. We won't
know what they're doing (and maybe they won't,
either) until they're on the clock.

None wants an offensive lineman known to be a
waist-bender. How would such a fundamentally
flawed fellow block a defensive tackle who plays
with a low pad level and can anchor and read?

It's a good question. Provided it can be translated
into a language common to us. But that's the mother
tongue this week. Think of it as draft-speak.

Every profession has its technical terms, and the
NFL is no different when it comes to assessing its
prospects and analyzing their strengths and short-
comings.

"My background is in coaching and coaches aren't
exactly linguists, so we develop vernacular," says
Rob Rang, senior analyst for NFLdraftscout.com.

Outsiders, beware. Things are not always what they
seem.

Imagine the uninformed soul's reaction to a player
"breaking down in the open field." Quick, call 911.
Except the player is supposed to break down - get
himself in good position to tackle - in the open field.
Whew, crisis avoided.

"We all know what these things mean," Rang says.
"These are just the terms we use."

Sure. They're found in every copy of English for
(Tackling) Dummies.

Plenty of jargon will pour forth during two days of
nearly endless coverage on ESPN, where Mel
Kiper Jr., the resident draftnik - an individual who
is expert in the ways of the NFL's annual player
selection meeting - knows which safeties have
stiff hips (lack flexibility in turning and running)
and which defensive tackles play with a high
motor (great intensity).

As there's no escaping the Tower of Babble,
here are a few terms to help the novice better
understand the gab dispensers as they rave
about blue-chippers (top prospects) and decry
the reaches (players chosen earlier than value
might indicate).

.Big bubble: A large keister. For an offensive
lineman, a defined and muscular gluteus maxi-
mus indicates more blocking power and push.
Also: Bubble butt.

.Vertical threat: A tall and angry person? No.
A receiver with speed enough to run deep routes.

.Hand punch: A delicious summer drink made
from ... Actually, it is the thrusting move initiated
by an offensive lineman at the snap of the ball.
Seeking to knock an oncoming pass rusher off
balance, the lineman fires his arms out into the
chest of his crafty foe. Effective hand punch
neutralizes the defender's first step.

.Short-area quickness: Usually a description of
a defensive player's ability to move with speed
in a range of 2 to 3 yards. Also: Burst.

. Happy feet: A quarterback whose feet are
always moving in anticipation (or plain fear) of
the pass rush and cannot set and throw. Happy
feet create unhappy coaches.

.Mirror and slide: Comic duo known for their
appearances on The Ed Sullivan Show. Or ...
when an offensive lineman can anticipate his
opponent's moves and counter them while
staying balanced in front of him, he is said to
be able to mirror and slide.

.Low pad level: Players best maintain their
balance when they bend their knees and get
better leverage when they are lower than their
opponents. That stance gets them a low pad
level.

.Anchor and read: A positive trait of defensive
linemen when they fight off blockers, hold their
ground and decipher the blocking scheme to
make a tackle.

.Vision: Pertains to running backs. All of them,
obviously, can see. This refers to their ability
to make sense of the blocking schemes, adapt
to life on the run and sense where the hole will
be before they reach it.

.Wrap-up tackler: One who will use his arms to
engulf a running back or receiver in a not-so-
loving embrace.

.Bust: A touted athlete who fails to live up to the
hype and his status as a No. 1 pick. See: Ryan
Leaf, the NFL equivalent of the Venus de Milo.

. Sleeper: A player whose talents went undis-
covered by the masses but who has great up-
side.

.Great upside: Potential.

.Three-cone drill: A physical test of quickness
in the short area that measures agility. Involves
(duh) three stationary cones, short sprints and
a figure-eight turn around the cones.

. Coke machine: A big guy who is hard to move.

. Tarzan/Jane: The full phrase is, "Looks like
Tarzan, plays like Jane." A specimen whose
skills fail to match his physique.

. Waist-bender: An offensive lineman who
bends from the waist, rather than the knees,
costing himself leverage.

. Trash: The bodies lying in disarray on the
field during a play. A sharp tackler can pick
his way through trash.

. Trade up: Teams holding choices at the
later stages of the first round often want to
pick higher and will offer inducements (addi-
tional draft choices, a pony) to teams that
want to ...

. Trade down: Some teams prefer not to
choose in the top five or 10. They realize
they'll have to pay a high signing bonus to
an untested prospect; also reminded of the
ineptness that gained them this lofty draft
status. Teams pick in reverse order of their
record, so the league's dregs lead off. Often
they try to move down and accumulate addi-
tional picks, giving them the chance to be
wrong on several more occasions.

. On the clock: Teams get a 15-minute win-
dow in which to execute their first-round pick
or trade it. San Francisco, holding the first
overall choice based on its 2-14 record last
season, has been on the clock since January.
The real countdown begins shortly after noon
ET Saturday.

. The war room: Where team officials gather
on draft day to change all the plans they have
carefully constructed for eight weeks and in-
dulge in ridiculous self-congratulation no matter
how they have bungled things.

. First-day selection: A player likely to go in
rounds one through three of the draft, to be
completed Saturday.

. Second-day selection: A player who thought
he was a first-day selection but gets drafted
Sunday in rounds four through seven.

. Undrafted free agent: The hopefuls not chosen
either day who get calls immediately afterward
from teams seeking their services at bargain
prices.

. Mr. Irrelevant: The last of the collegians chosen
in the draft. He is honored at festivities in Newport
Beach, Calif., during Irrelevant Week (June 20-24)
and awarded the Lowsman Trophy, emblematic
of the underdog. The gleaming statuette portrays
a player fumbling the football. It's a fitting finale for
the draft.

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