yet another mascot story

[M. S. Burton]

somehow I forgot about this one:

A Practical Prankster Who's Feared at the Plate
Steve Novotney
Editor, Pirate Report
Sep. 2000

So what do you do?

You are a star player for the Pittsburgh Pirates, and after a
four-game losing streak all but erases memories of the ballclub's
season-best eight-game winning skein following an 11-1 loss to the
division-leading Cardinals.

What do you do?

If you're Brian Giles, you're wearing a large, green Parrot costume.

The All-Star outfielder was not among Manager Gene Lamont's starting
eight for the club's final game against St. Louis on Sept. 13, so
Giles decided it was time for a little fun. Do keep in mind that it
was Giles who questioned why pierogi races were receiving more
attention from the fans than was the team - although teammate and
friend Pat Meares once was a racing bratwurst last season in
Milwaukee.

He, and the entire team, was frustrated with the season's evolvement
at the time, a feeling made apparent with the scene in left field in
July when a masked bullpen pitcher tackled town favorite Sauerkraut
Saul before the mascot could cross the finish line to claim his
scheduled victory (oops, that's right, those are real races, kind of
like professional wrestling).

Expectations for the Pirates were high when the season started with
team brass and baseball analysts calling for vast on-field improvement
from an uneventful 1999 and a soured '98 campaign.

Soon after Giles, a guy with a reputation for playing practical jokes
in the clubhouse, realized he was riding the pine, he arranged to meet
with Derek Dye, the 25-year-old who dons the Pirate Parrot costume at
Three Rivers during home games.

Dye, Giles and bird follower Joe Vaites met secretly near the batting
cage located beneath the first-level seats.

"He asked if he could put on the costume for a little bit," Dye
explained. "Brian said he wasn't playing tonight, so he wanted to have
a little fun before the game."

The Parrot costume is worth a few thousand bucks, measures nearly 7
feet high and weighs more than a baseball uniform (warm-up jacket and
ballcap included), so why would Dye risk, one: damage to the expensive
green get-up; and two: damage to the star?

"Because he asked, and his name is Brian Giles," Dye said. "It's that
plain and simple."

Dye and Vaites assisted the outfielder into the costume, head helmet
and all, and Vaites then led him to the Pittsburgh dugout.

Never did Giles leave from under the dugout roof - so to avoid
interaction with actual fans, and because he was waiting for a victim.

"He did meet with some kids before he made it to the dugout," the
29-year-old Vaites explained. "He was OK, but he didn't do much."

No Travolta dance moves?

No tummy wiggle?

"Nope, he just kept walking to the field, really."

The Parrot was in the dugout for only a few minutes before Lamont
appeared posting the lineup, and taking a seat on the bench. `Big
Green' approached the skipper, a man, remember, under pressure because
many around the game believe he will not be employed by the Pittsburgh
Baseball Club more than a day past the life of Three Rivers Stadium as
a home of big-league baseball.

The bird, standing in front of Lamont, said, "How can you keep Giles
out of the lineup? He's going to be making $9 million next season! How
can you keep the guy out of the lineup?"

Lamont, never a fan of the obvious question and hateful to inquiries
he tires of, looked up at only a big yellow beak, Vaites reported, and
said, "Hey, ease up. Everyone needs a day off sometime."

"Yeah, but how could you keep Giles out of the lineup?!"

DING! DING!

ARE YOU READY?

"No, that's when `Geno' knew it was Giles in the suit," Vaites said.
"He just stood up and hugged the Parrot. It was classic."

Giles then exited the dugout and began tunnel travel, still in full
costume, and passed fellow All-Star Jason Kendall on the way.

The catcher offered his usual-to-the-mascot fist knock, and the Parrot
obliged. Giles then said, "Hey, Kid, hit the (expletive) out of the
ball today."

Kendall turned, and initially appeared surprised.

"But then Jason knew right away," Vaites said. "Another classic."

OK, what about the All-Star outfielder's mascot rating?

"Well, Brian is a little short, but don't tell him I said that, OK?,"
Dye said with a smirk. "Seriously? All right, well, his animation was
good, he seemed to be able to see through the beak pretty well, and
that's important. But I don't think he liked it very much.

"When he came back to the batting cages, he took the costume off and
said, `Don't know how you do this every night, man. This thing is hot.
I have to go take a shower.' He had it on for only 10 or 15 minutes.
Three hours is a little different, trust me.

Still, with Dye leaving the job in October after two seasons as the
Pirate Parrot, the Pittsburgh organization needs another crazy man
willing to fill the green fur.

How 'bout Giles? Pirates announcer Greg Brown calls the guy an
"Animal" on occasion, right?

"I don't think so," Dye said. "He was OK, but I think the pay might be
a little lower than he expects."