turds

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Warren Lushia

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Feb 10, 2002, 12:31:11 AM2/10/02
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i thought we needed a new and interesting thread.
well, here is it. i love to drink fierce grape
gatorade, and i usually drink like a 64 oz
bottle. funny thing is i get fierce grape
turds!! actually they are more of a green color.
i have never tasted one (yet) so i don't know if
they retain their grapey-good yum yum flavor. it
actually happens with any grape colored drink.
another neat-o thing is if i let the turds soak in
the toilet the color leeches out and turns the
water green!! fun!! it really adds some pizazz
to my bowel movements. its a nice way to start
the day, and puts a big smile on my face. i
thought i'd share a way to brighten your day the
next time you feel down. anybody else got any
good turd stories to share?

warren..<-- goin' to go pinch one off right now!
love layin' cable!!

Big Jeff.

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Feb 10, 2002, 12:31:03 AM2/10/02
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Take my advice--Don't eat any corn.


Blkjackds

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Feb 10, 2002, 12:34:21 AM2/10/02
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Warren, I always knew you had a dark side.
;{
Blackjack

Warren Lushia

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Feb 10, 2002, 12:56:54 AM2/10/02
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"Big Jeff." wrote:

> Take my advice--Don't eat any corn.

you've just given me a GREAT idea!!!!!! thanks!!

btw, did you ever catch the episode of southpark
with mr. hanky (the christmas poo) when you met
his family? he has three kids (lovingly referred
to as his little nuggets) but one of them is slow
because he was born with a peanut in his head!!
and one of his kids is all depressed in the middle
of the show, and he tells mr. hanky "awww, dad,
i'm nothing but a piece of crap." too funny!!!

warren..<-- finally a topic we can sink our teeth
into :)


sam

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Feb 10, 2002, 12:32:54 AM2/10/02
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Warren, My wife just called 911. I was laughing so hard she thought I was
having some kind of heart attack. Great Post!! You just outdid anything
I've ever put up. ROTFLMAO!! :o) Sincerely, Sam

"Warren Lushia" <wal...@pop.NoSpam.uky.edu> wrote in message
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sam

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Feb 10, 2002, 1:18:59 AM2/10/02
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Yeah, but Warren, don't you just hate it when your trying to take a dump and
it breaks off in midstream. Part goes out but the other part goes back in.
AND THEN, you try to wipe real good and your finger pops through the paper
and you don't notice it. AND THEN, later in the day, you shake someones
hand and you notice that they have this odd looking color on their hand.
AND THEN, they reach into their pocket for the money they are going to pay
you and oddly it is discolored and has a funny odor. I hate when that
happens!! Ha Ha :o) Sincerely, Sam

"Warren Lushia" <wal...@pop.NoSpam.uky.edu> wrote in message
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Warren Lushia

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Feb 10, 2002, 2:17:58 AM2/10/02
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sam wrote:

> Yeah, but Warren, don't you just hate it when your trying to take a dump and
> it breaks off in midstream.

no. call it bravado, machismo, or testosterone, but i will not let a turd defeat
me, and i always enjoy a good challenge. if that piece of shit thinks it has won,
it has another thing coming. the power of the sphincter is mightier than the turd.
my motto is:

"when it comes to laying cable, i'm ready, willing, and able."

> Part goes out but the other part goes back in.
> AND THEN, you try to wipe real good and your finger pops through the paper
> and you don't notice it.

damn sam, your thinking about buying a huge new tv and you buy cheap toilet paper?

> AND THEN, later in the day, you shake someones
> hand and you notice that they have this odd looking color on their hand.
> AND THEN, they reach into their pocket for the money they are going to pay
> you and oddly it is discolored and has a funny odor.

i wouldn't know, my shit doesn't stink.

> I hate when that
> happens!!

actually, i hate clingons and skid marks. while they remind me of a recent
victorious bowel movement, but i can't help but feel like it's the turds way of
trying to stay close to their birthplace, ie, my asshole. i think at that point,
its time for them to let go.

warren..

Warren Lushia

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Feb 10, 2002, 2:51:00 AM2/10/02
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Blkjackds wrote:

> Warren, I always knew you had a dark side.

well, what can i say, i am full of (green) shit!!

warren..

Ken

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Feb 10, 2002, 10:17:57 AM2/10/02
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LOL.

"Warren Lushia" <wal...@pop.NoSpam.uky.edu> wrote in message
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Ernie Varitimos

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Feb 10, 2002, 11:09:42 AM2/10/02
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You guys are frigging idiots!! Get a frigging life. The least you could do
is put a billiard spin on it, like your turds look like tiny cue sticks or
something.

-ernie

Ken

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Feb 10, 2002, 11:23:15 AM2/10/02
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the man has a point. so this green, how would it compare to say a 6-ball or
the standard green felt? have you ever produced anything resembling the
color scheme of the 14? how would the consistency compare to chalk? do you
think you could let it dry and use it for chalk?

Ken.... still no caps when posting to warren.


"Ernie Varitimos" <ern...@javachief.com> wrote in message
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Mountain Mike^^

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Feb 10, 2002, 3:29:00 PM2/10/02
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Warren Lushia <wal...@pop.NoSpam.uky.edu> wrote in message anybody else got

any
> good turd stories to share?
>
I always take a good smorg dump in the morning. Then, later, it's bimbo's
turn at being the turd. MM^^

Mark0

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Feb 10, 2002, 3:34:04 PM2/10/02
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Ta ta turd boy.

Mark0 <--laughing and plonking at the same time

"Warren Lushia" <wal...@pop.NoSpam.uky.edu> wrote in message

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Jimbo Ct

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Feb 10, 2002, 5:05:30 PM2/10/02
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SAM: >You just outdid anything

>I've ever put up.

That wasn't to hard.

Jim <---Was that a compliment?

Warren Lushia

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Feb 11, 2002, 3:50:11 AM2/11/02
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Ernie Varitimos wrote:

> You guys are frigging idiots!! Get a frigging life. The least you could do
> is put a billiard spin on it, like your turds look like tiny cue sticks or
> something.

hey erntheburn, fellow mac man, firstly glad to see you back. but, this is asp.
there has been alot of arguing and tension here, and this was my attempt at a little
comic relief. i am 30, so what i may find funny might differ from lots of others,
or maybe it is even unique to myself. i think a couple of people at least got a
chuckle out of it, which was my intent.

when i look at my fierce grape turds, i can't really see anything related to pool.
although it might be funny to see a fierce grape turd floating in a swimming pool.
maybe someday i'll make a website and post pictures of these unique turds. btw,
although this was intended to make people laugh, it is true!!

warren..

Ernie Varitimos

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Feb 11, 2002, 8:10:40 AM2/11/02
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>> Ernie Varitimos wrote:
>>
>> You guys are frigging idiots!! Get a frigging life. The least you could do
>> is put a billiard spin on it, like your turds look like tiny cue sticks or
>> something.

> "Warren Lushia" <wal...@pop.NoSpam.uky.edu> wrote:
>
> hey erntheburn, fellow mac man, firstly glad to see you back. but, this is
> asp. there has been alot of arguing and tension here, and this was my attempt
> at a little comic relief. i am 30, so what i may find funny might differ
> from lots of others, or maybe it is even unique to myself. i think a couple
> of people at least got a chuckle out of it, which was my intent.
>
> when i look at my fierce grape turds, i can't really see anything related to
> pool. although it might be funny to see a fierce grape turd floating in a
> swimming pool. maybe someday i'll make a website and post pictures of these
> unique turds. btw, although this was intended to make people laugh, it is
> true!!
>
> warren..

Hi Warren, I have no doubt that it was true, I laughed. And like you, I
understand what ASP is all about. But I just wanted to reiterate my point
that comic relief is fine, in fact welcome on ASP, I just think it should
have a billiards/pool slant.

BTW, thanks for reminding me to use my standard Nome de plum.

-erntheburn

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