The Gripping Results of the Yorkshire Derby

[Bread Time Shrimp]

Its a hot day here in Alcacullah, Massachusetts. Wet rocks, spilled cola,
and a sea of Olde English 40oz bottles raining from above.

The crowd goes wild~!

The race is WON by none other than Tony "The Race Horse" Haws, the driver of
the absolutely splendid GAW DAN.

Tony was the unpopular probably of this year, competing against other
jockeys Gene Simmons, Ronald McDonald, and Harrison Ford. The
celebrity-studded race made clear that celebriets have no idea how to
jockey, as Tony himself is just a random bum from the street who hear about
a raining sea of 40s. When asked for comment, Tony exclaimed, "40s
aaaaaaarrreeee GREAT!", whipping out a box of Fristed Flokes and allowing
the premier racehorse to imbibe in the delicate wistfulness of Spring
fortune.

The disgraced horse Eggs "Eggs" Benedict is seen drinking a 40, whinnying
and slapping Gene Simmons silly with a plastic bag filled with caramel.

Night Hawk News,
Trieaodheb LeMain