Can't get condom off
Gactimus
I better try on some condoms to be sure I got the right ones. I put
one on my dick and just then my dog came into the room and began
licking me. That got me so aroused that I got a huge erection. So
huge that I cant get the condom off now. Worse yet, the condom is
full of dog shit and my date will be ariving any second. What should
I do?
Vanilla Gorilla (Monkey Boy)
in alt.tasteless.jokes in message <Xns95516...@alaska.local>:
Is your dick long enough to reach your asshole?
--
V.G.
Change pobox dot alaska to gci.
"I wanted a car I could run down pedestrians with. But one with a comfy ride, like a sofa on wheels." - Father Haskell
"No doubt about it, 9-11 was orchestrated by Lockheed." - *lexa 'connects the dots' 4/27/04 (cg5t80pl73d7r1s81...@4ax.com)
"Nope, Lockheed provided the cover for 9-11 due to abuses of it's system. They're guilty as charged. But ultimately it was Bechtel who concocted the
9-11 events." Alexa connects some totally different dots. 8/6/04 (n3p8h0lvp0u3tj0j4...@4ax.com)
Sarcasm is my sword, Apathy is my shield.
The Puppy Wizard
Either way he'll NEVER convince his
girl friend that it ain't the dog's poo poo.
Poor guy's gonna make the girl jealHOWES.
Then he's HISTORY.
Perhaps he could turn poison into medecine
if he sez it's a SURPRISE for her to enjoy sharin
with the dog.
Then he could throw her to the grHOWEND an
climb all over her like a raped ape and grHOWEL
into her throat an bite her on the ear and thrHOWE
her in a box and jerk and choke her on a pronged
spiked pinch choke collar and spray aversives into
her eyes.
Like this:
lyinglynn writes to a new foster care giver:
For barking in the crate - leave the leash on and
pass it through the crate door. Attach a line to it.
When he barks, use the line for a correction.
- if necessary, go to a citronella bark collar.
Lynn K.
She'll LOVE you for it:
"Granted That The Dog Who Fears Retribution
Will Adore His Owner," lying "I LOVE KOEHLER"
lynn.
But if she don't go for that don't worry if she escapes,
the shock collar restraint system will kick in and she'll
never leave.
Unless it fails as it often does. But not to worry. If
she calls the cops all he gotta do is DENY IT and
they'll NEVER believe her.
Just PRAY she's callin from a phone booth nearbye.
You'll be able to run her dHOWEN and CONvince her
you was only PLAYIN:
sinofabitch writes:
> >> What I have said- repeatedly - is that he took
> >> posts from two different people,
> >> took pieces of them out of context,
> >> cobbled them together,
> >> then added his own words:
"Neatly," and "Smartly."
> >>and a fake signature.
"sinofabitch" instead of sionnach.
> >> Which is exactly what he did.
> >> The actual quote is misleading
> >> when taken out of context, and Jerry's
> >> faked "quote" is downright meaningless.
>
> >Here's Jerry's version
>
> > "I Dropped The Leash, Threw My
> > Right Arm Over The Lab's Shoulder,
> > Grabbed Her Opposite Foot With My
> > Left Hand, Rolled Her On Her Side,
> > Leaned On Her, Smartly Growled Into
> > Her Throat And Said "GRRRR!" And
> > Neatly Nipped Her Ear," sinofabitch.
>
> >Here's yours;
>
> > "I dropped the leash, threw my
> > right arm over the Lab's shoulder,
> > grabbed her opposite foot with my
> > left hand, rolled her on her side,
> > leaned on her, said "GRRRR!" and
> > nipped her ear.
> > --Sara Sionnach
BWAHAHAHHAHAAAA!!!!!
That's INSANE. Ain't it.
"When you get bagged for lying you're MARKED
FOR LIFE," The Puppy Wizard's DADDY.
BWEEEEEEAAAHAHAHAHAHHAHAAAA!!!
"You Lying Sack Of Dung.When Have I Ever Said
Anything About Using A Prong Collar, Or Any Collar
Correction At All, To Make Dogs Friendly To House
Cats? Don't bother. The answer is never," lying "I
LOVE KOEHLER" lynn.
lying "I LOVE KOEHLER" lynn writes about kats and dogs:
"This Article Is Something We've Put Together
For SF GSD Rescue
From: Lynn Kosmakos (lkos...@home.com)
Subject: Re: I have a dog he has cats
Date: 1999/11/20
ging...@my-deja.com wrote:
> How can I get him to quit chasing the cats.
Okay - this is going to be a bit loooong - Lynn K.
"Put a prong collar with a six-foot leash on the dog. Don't
forget to put the muzzle on the dog. I think a prong works
better than a choke with less chance of injury to the dog in
this situation.
Electronics can be used to create an aversion to cats, but
should be used under the direction of a trainer who knows how
to instruct the owner in their proper use. Electronics can
take the form of shock, sonic or citronella collars. At that
time the owner will train with electronics instead of food or
whatever other reward system was being used."
8) Put a prong collar with a six-foot leash on the dog.
Don't forget to put the muzzle on the dog. I think a prong
works better than a choke with less chance of injury to the
dog in this situation. Have the dog in a sit-stay next to
you with most of the slack out of the leash and let the cat
walk through the room and up to the dog if it wishes (this is
why you have the dog muzzled).
If the dog makes an aggressive move towards the
cat, it must be corrected strongly with both your
voice and the collar.
This is important - the correction must be physically
very strong - not a nag. (PS: not many dogs need
to be corrected at all)."
> Other training systems seem to be more transferable
> in the success rate of others who use it.
Paxil Princess psychoclown wrote:
"Nope. That "beating dogs with sticks"
things is something you twisted out of
context, because you are full of bizarro
manure."
"Get a stick 30- or 40-inches long. You can have a helper
wield the stick, or do it yourself. Tougher, less tractable
dogs may require you to progress to striking them more
sharply.
REPEAT, VARYING HOW HARD YOU HIT THE DOG.
Now you are ready to progress to what most people think of
as force-fetching: the ear pinch.
Make the dog's need to stop the pinching so urgent that
resisting your will fades in importance.
but will squeal, thrash around, and direct their efforts to
escaping the ear pinch even get a studded collar and pinch
the ear against that if the dog still does not open its mouth,
get out the shotshell.
Try pinching the ear between the metal casing and the
collar, even the buckle on the collar. Persist! Eventually, the
dog will give in
With your hand on the collar and ear, say, 'fetch.'
Immediately tap the dog on the hindquarters with the stick.
Repeat "fetch" and pinch the ear all the way to the dummy.
You can press the dog's ear with a shotshell instead of your
thumb; Say 'fetch' while pressing the dummy against its lips
and pinching its ear."
> Good trainers have their hands full enough training.
"J1Boss" <j1b...@aol.com> wrote in message
news:20040324071828...@mb-m18.aol.com...
>
> He was next to me and I could see his neck
> muscles pulsing. He didn't even blink an eye.
>
> Janet Boss
"sionnach" <rhyf...@msn.com> wrote in message
news:c3qi15$2biuoh$1...@ID-45033.news.uni-berlin.de...
> "J1Boss" <j1b...@aol.com> wrote in message
> news:20040323173916...@mb-m17.aol.com...
>
> > > I can't imagine needing anything higher
> > > than a 5 with it, even with an insensitive
> > > dog like a Lab.
An INSENSITIVE DOG???
> > I can't remember what model of Innotek I have, but
> > I had apointer ignore a neck-muscle-pulsing 9.
> I would not expect them to start experimenting
> without some objective evidence that the time
> invested in the experiment will bear fruit.
"I used to work the Kill Room as a volunteer in
one shelter.) But their ability to set their own
schedules and duties causes a great deal of
scheduling overhead.
And it takes effort and thought to ensure that
volunteers get the meaningful experience that
they work for.
Someone has to be responsible for that
Volunteer Program, and it is best done
by a non-volunteer." Lynn K.
"I worked with one shelter where I bathed and groomed
every adoptable dog on intake. I frankly felt that the
effort/benefit equation was not balanced for some of the
older/ill poodle/terrier mixes we got in badly matted condition.
Should I have refused to groom them?
Or even more pertinent - I was one of the people who
had to make the euthanasia decisions at that shelter."
Lynn K.
Baghdad Bob <Baghdadbob> wrote in message
news:<04591a2c5d469ef78d35c89ed4ed58f7@TeraNews>...
> >> Lynn, looks like he got you there if these
> >> quotes are true.
>
> >> In the posts below you take responsibility for
> >> making those calls.
>
> >> In your post above, you state you do not
> >> make those calls.
>
> >>Which one is it?
"Many People Have Problems Getting The Pinch
Right, Either They Do Not Pinch Enough, Or They
Have A Very Stoic Dog. Some Dogs Will Collapse
Into A Heap. About The Ear Pinch: You Must Keep
The Pressure Up," sindy "don't let the dog SCREAM"
mooreon, author of HOWER FAQ's pages on k9 web.
You think HURTING a HUNTING DOG to
MAKE IT HUNT is NECESSARY???
"Well, Jack Did Hit My Dog. Actually I'd Call It
A Sharp Tap Of The Crook To The Nose. I Know
Jack Wouldn't HaveDone It If He Thought Solo
Couldn't Take It. I Still Crate Him Because
Otherwise I Fear He Might Eat My Cat," melanie.
You think allowing a "FEAR AGGRESSIVE MAN
SHY" dog to be BEATEN by a strange male trainer
is INTELLIGENT BEHAVIOR for a DOG LOVER?
"Warning: Sometimes The Corrections Will Seem
Quite Harsh And Cause You To Cringe. This Is A
Normal Reaction The First Few Times It Happens,
But You'll Get Over It."-
- mike duforth, author:
"Courteous Canine."
You think HURTIN dogs and
CRINGING is COURTEHOWES?
"Chin CHUCK absolutely doesn't mean slap,"
professora gingold.
"Pudge Was So Soft That She Could And
Would Avoid A Simple Swat On The Rump
With A Riding Crop," lying frosty dahl,
discoverer of CANNIBALISM in Labradors.
Perhaps the mom dog didn't want her babies
HURT all their lives like HOWE HOWER dog
lovers PREFER to HURT THEIR DOGS?
"John ran out, grabbed Blackie by the collar, and
gave the dog two or three medium whacks on the
rump with a training stick while holding him partially
off the ground. John then told Blackie to sit, ran back
to the line and cast him back to the dummies."
The Puppy Wizard sez a mom dog eatin her babies
to SAVE THEM from a fate like that, is COMMENDABLE.
"I'd call the SHOCK fence effective and safe.
Humane is one of those hot words that people
can debate all day so I won't touch that one.
There are people who would call a regular chain
link fence inhumane," liea altshuller.
"I know this is a hard subject to bring up without starting the
whole cruelty thread again so I'll state my opinion once and
won't defend it further: any method can be cruel for some
dogs.
Even the slightest punishment was wrong for Cubbe at the
beginning, but w e'vecomealongwaysincethen.Shetrusts
us now as I mentioned in a recent post. Point is, she's been
rewarded for coming, but she's never been punished, even in
the mildest way, for not coming.
Is it time for that?
What might I look for to tell?"
"Julia Altshuler" <jalts...@comcast.net> wrote in message
news:McYnb.45145$ao4.106231@attbi_s51...
>
> After talking with the vet yesterday and watching
> Cubbe all day today, I'm convinced that the shaking
> is behavioral, not physical. Naturally I'll continue
> keeping an eye on her, but when I add everything
> up, I don't see symptoms of anything neurological--
> and the vet agrees.
>
> --Lia
"Things are beginning to get much worse day
by day and the vets seem unable to help.
http://www.oofus.com/pix/PoorRufusMed.WMV
http://www.oofus.com/pix/PoorRufusSmall.WMV"
THAT'S AN OCD. His owner CAUSED IT by
MISHANDLING and ABUSING his dog according
to the BEST advice of HOWER Gang Of Lying
Dog Abusing Punk Thug Cowards And ACTIVE
LONG TERM INCURABLE MENTAL CASES and
ASYLUM ESCAPEES.
BWEEEEEEEEAAHAHAHAHHHAAAA!!!
Here's your pal FRAUDreck:
http://tinyurl.com/389al
In this video, the dog is constantly jerking his
head all around. I'm not SHORE why he's doing that.
If he's doing it because he is being shocked repeatedly
into getting onto that skateboard, then it is my
opinion that Fred Hassen is a dog abuser in the
extreme. As would anyone be, no matter how much
"experience" they had shocking dogs, nor how
nationally "respected" they are/were.
If, HOWEver, the dog is jerking his head all around
because he is happy and for no other reason, well,
then, never mind. I've just never seen this kind of
behavior from a dog before, so maybe Fred can
explain what would cause a dog to move his head
like that.
Here's a other:
http://tinyurl.com/2v9oh
> I wouldn't expect you to just stop using
> that method and try something else on
> the mere claim that the something else
> was superior.
You mean superior to choking shocking
intimidating and murdering dogs, Master
Of Deception blankman?
Your punk thug coward metally ill pals
can't even train their dogs to stay behind
their shock fences and not to eat poison
and murder their own HOWES kats.
"Vanilla Gorilla (Monkey Boy)"
<vgor...@pobox.alaska.net> wrote in message
news:jh1si01nmadped1ek...@4ax.com...
> On Thu, 26 Aug 2004 10:25:35 -0400, Gactimus <gact...@xrs.net>
wrote
> in alt.tasteless.jokes in message
<Xns95516...@alaska.local>:
>
> >This is real embarassing.
Well there ain't nuthin to be embarrassed
abHOWET amongst FRIENDS.
> > I am going on a date tonight and I thought
> > I better try on some condoms to be sure I got
> > the right ones.
Good idea. WON always wants to put their
best foot forward. 'You can never make a
second first impression.'
> > I put one on my dick and just then my dog
> > came into the room and began licking me.
You probably shouldn't allHOWE that.
> > That got me so aroused that I got a huge erection.
Well perhaps you need a spankin?
Sexual Abuse And Dog Training Go
Together Like A Child And Paddle
From: polara (lar...@muchomail.com)
Subject: Was: Girls' stirrings, now: Mother's doubts
Newsgroups: soc.sexuality.spanking
Date: 2004-04-13 06:51:18 PST
in a message responding to Polara's answer to Paul Mera's
question about spanko girls' fantasies etc:
"ayla" <ayla...@hotpopidiotproof.com> wrote
| I had fantasies just like that on my walks home from school,
| as well as in my room at night. However, I did *not*
| baby-sit for anyone cool enough to have "O" on their
| bookshelf. Makes me determined to have my books in a public,
| inconspicuous place for my babysitters to find if they need
| it. And, my kids too.
|
| Thank you for sharing this, it's nice to know I'm not the
| only one. :-)
|
| ayla
You're welcome! You're not the only one!
I agree with you about making the books discreetly available
to the youngsters. But I feel it's a fine line to tread.
I gave my kid "Sex for Dummies" when he was 13, because his
school did not have any kind of Sex Ed, no matter what
euphemism you name it with. I didn't have any trouble telling
him what I felt he needed to know, or answering what he wanted
to know, at any age so far - he's 18 now, and as far as I can
tell, done asking.
But I haven't talked to him about my favourite kink. (Though
since I know he digs through my bedside bookshelf at will,
he's probably realised my collection is pretty skewed.)
Why not? I have to admit I haven't made a well-considered
decision. It just seemed like "more than he probably wants or
needs to know." It's no secret, and if he asked me, "Mom are
you really into getting spanked/spanking?" I'd tell him "Yes,
I think it's sexy and fun."
Would you tell your own kids or others about liking spanking?
I also keep my precious spanking videos under lock and key.
Why? Since I'm willing to let the books be "found"? Darned if
I know, but again it feels like its more than I want him to be
exposed to through ME. Maybe it's my personal interpretation
of the incest taboo. If he wants to rustle up his own spanking
video and watch it on my machine in my house, fine. But if he
gets it from me...not fine. Show me where it says I have to be
consistent.
Anybody else got an opinion on this?
Polara
HOWEDY laura,
"polara" <lar...@muchomail.com> wrote in message
news:Dblkc.10786$EV2.97520@amstwist00...
>
> "Marie" <mm...@rogers.com> wrote
>
> <snip>
>
> | It turns out that her main concern isn't bowling
> | alleys or bus yard offices, it is lawns and parks grass.
>
> Over here we're getting more warnings that
> raising kids in an overly clean environment
> seems to lead to more asthma/allergy.
INDEED.
> My breeder's grandkids
Your "ETHICKAL breeder" sold you a
REPLACEMENT dog after you MURDERED
your own DEAD DOG Chewie CAUSE YOU
WOULDN'T STOP HURTIN and INTIMIDATING
HIM.
> Laura and Angel in Oslo.
HOWEDY laura,
"Laura" <la...@wordfixers.no> wrote in message
news:QLiZb.936$EV2.7231@amstwist00...
> Diana wrote:
diana is a dog abuser a liar and a mental case.
Like yourself.
> | > if other areas of his obedience are going well,
> | > use that to help you break this habit - if he's
> | > busy performing a command for you, he won't
> | > be busy barking for you.
Yeah. That'll provoke the dog to do it MOORE
cause it'll REWARD his attention gettin devices.
> Lee John Moore wrote:
> | I've tried this too, but have no success.
That's cause lee is a MOOREON.
> | He performs the command but continues to bark.
SEE??? Told ya so!
> Since he's a smart and obedient dog,
Yeah. Smart, obedient, Feisty, Humorous, Brave,
Curious And Playful. Full Of "Joie de Vivre,"
> perhaps you could give him a command
Like the DIE command, laura?
> that precludes barking?
Oh? You must mean the "NO BARK!" command.
Won't work on this Feisty, Humorous, Brave,
Curious And Playful. Full Of "Joie de Vivre, dog.
> Perhaps teach him to sit and hold an object for
> you - dumbbell, glove, rolled newspaper, ball -
Yeah. That'll make him very happy. He WANTS
attention, and that'd be payin him off.
> you could simply carry an item like this in your
> pocket when you go out.
RIGHT. That COULD work... till WON fine
day when IT don't have sumpthin to put in
ITS MHOWETH and then he'll GO NUTS.
> And then Sit! Hold! would produce the
> desired behaviour?
Yeah. Like it did for your DEAD DOG Chewie.
> Just a thought...
Yeah. That's HOWE COME you MUREDERED
your own DEAD DOG Chewie.
> Laura and Angel in Oslo
laura MURDERED her heart dog Chewie just like
HOWE your pal tara o. did her DEAD DOG Summer
as have many of HOWER DOG LOVERS here abHOWETS.
Here's HOWE COME laura KILLED her dog Chewie:
From: Laura Arlov (la...@wordfixers.no)
Subject: Re: Chewie bit my husband !
Date: 1999/01/20
Well, we're doing as you say Dogman,
and I'll keep you all posted.
------------------------------
> Laura in Oslo
You're quite the dog enthusiast, eh laura?
> The listener,
You didn't WANT to listen to The Puppy Wizard when
HE told you you couldn't PUNISH and INTIMIDATE
your dog or you'd make IT aggressive.
> the observer.
NHOWE you got a DEAD DOG HOWETA it.
> We do work were you sometimes have to observe people
Like laura, MURDERING her dog...
> and take notes.
INDEEDY!
> B. has amazing powers of observation and concentration.
RIGHT...
> Laura and Angel in Oslo
"Feisty, Humorous, Brave, Curious And
Playful. Full Of "Joie de Vivre," And DEAD.
Date: 2003-10-29 23:49:52 PST
HOWEDY People,
Here's HOWE COME laura arlov KILLED her "Feisty,
Humorous, Brave, Curious And Playful. Full Of "Joie
de Vivre," And DEAD DOG Chewie:
From: Dogman (dog...@i1.net)
Subject: Re: Dogman advocates dogs biting people
Date: 1999/04/25
While I was listening to the Miles Davis CD, "Kind Of
Blue," and drinking a little Booker's, on 24 Apr 1999
22:47:09 GMT, broke...@aol.com (Brokenseat) wrote:
> Was that a SERIOUS ENOUGH bite for you dogman,
> or was it insignificant? Why would you suggest getting
> a book or obediance, is there no bite SERIOUS enough
> for you?
Yes, there are, but this one was *caused* by the actions
of a very, very STUPID human being, someone much like
yourself.
And it only hapopened ONCE.
And there are many, many dogs out there today
living perfectly normal and honorable lives who,
upon having done to them what was done to
this dog ("Chewie"), would also bite.
I mean, how stupid can one person get?
Don't answer that yet, Broke, you're setting a new
record almost everyday.
Here's what the owner's husband did (and precisely
what caused the bite), just in case you forgot:
> (My husband was holding Chewie's head and looking
> him in the eye and yelling at him, and Chewie growled
> louder and louder and louder and then bit my husband.)
I wonder just how many dogs out there wouldn't at
least be tempted to bite some stupid idiot for doing
that to him?
I include below the entire post for viewers reading
pleasure, and so they can take everything I said in
its proper *context.*
PS: I'd be willing to wager a large amount of money
that this particular dog will never bite this guy again,
provided:
1.) The family gives this dog some OBEDIENCE training.
2.) The guy refrains from doing really STUPID things to the dog.
3.) The guy PARTICIPATES in the training.
4.) They have a professional ASSESS the dog.
Putting this dog down simply for doing the above is
UNCONSCIONABLE.
This dog needs to be assessed, in person, by a knowledgeable
trainer/behaviorist before any action is even considered.
>>>>Now yesterday morning, Chewie lost his temper with my
>>>>husband and bit him, hard. (Deep puncture, lots of blood,
>>>>docot visit, tetanus shot, antibiotics, the whole shooting
>>>>match)
>>>Dogman's words of wisdom:
>>> You need to get a book on recognizing animal
>>> behavior ***(I have some listed on my web site)***,
>>> and you need to get your husband (and children, if
>>> they're old enough) involved in the OBEDIENCE
>>> training of this dog.
>>> WRONG. You need to cull. Do not give that dog a
>>> second chance to bite someone and draw blood
>>> another time, like your childs face...
>>>Broke Egoman and his dangerous advice should be ignored.
Doofuses are always welcome to ignore my advice,
after all, that's why they remain doofuses, eh?
********************
Beginning of the actual post, before Broke selectively snipped:
Upon my return to the Cuckoo's Nest,
Tue, 19 Jan 1999 22:22:09 ?,
"Laura Arlov" <la...@wordfixers.no> says:
[...]
>We have an 18 month old male Airedale Terrier,
>Chewbacca (Chewie). He's entire -- and I might as well
>tell you right now it's not legal to neuter male dogs in
>Norway for anything other than medical reasons, so he'll
> probably be staying that way.
That's too bad, because neutering might help (of course,
it might not help, either).
FYI, 95% of stallions (horses) in America are neutered.
That's right, only 5% of horses are responsible for breeding.
Why?
Have you ever been on a ranch or farm where there
were a lot of stallions living together?
If you had, you'd understand why 95% of them get
their *tools* taken away at an early age!
The same thing goes for dogs to a great extent.
>Now yesterday morning, Chewie lost his temper with my
>husband and bit him, hard. (Deep puncture, lots of blood,
>docot visit, tetanus shot, antibiotics, the whole shooting match)
>
>I have no trouble seeing how this incident is a result
>of Chewie's age and hormones, and mistakes that we
>have made.
>
> He's our first dog. before we got him I read that Airedale
> males could be a pretty tough proposition, so I've been
> working actively with Chewie and settring limits for him
> all his life, and he respects me.
But he doesn't respect your hubbie, does he?
Otherwise this would never have happened.
You're right, Airedales are TOUGH dogs, just like
virtually any *terrier.*
>My son and husband mostly pet him and play with him.
That's part of your problem I think. Your husband has
fallen in the pecking order to an EQUAL. That is, your
dog sees your husband as an equal, perhaps even an
inferior, and that's what the growling, etc., were all about.
> Now that Chewie is trying to improve his position
> in our family flock by defying my husband, my husband
> is all of the sudden trying to put his foot down and discipline
> Chewie...
This putting-down-of-the-foot cannot take place quickly.
It will have to develop over time.
But the best way to accelerate it is to have your husband
start to take over the OBEDIENCE training of your dog,
and he needs a lot more of it, Laura.
No dog of mine would ever even think about growling
at me, much less ever bite me. Or any member of my
family, the dog's pack.
Because I've made them all realize, early on, that all
humans are higher in status to them.
And their OBEDIENCE training is *ongoing,* therefore
it's constantly reinforced.
Dogs ABHOR leadership vacuums!
> (My husband was holding Chewie's head and looking
> him in the eye and yelling at him, and Chewie growled
> louder and louder and louder and then bit my husband.)
You need to get a book on recognizing animal behavior
(I have some listed on my web site), and you need to get
your husband (and children, if they're old enough) involved
in the OBEDIENCE training of this dog.
Otherwise you're likely to have *much* more serious
problems down the road.
> So, we did exactly what the experts on this ng usually
> advise: we called a really good dog training organization
> (where Chewie and I did basic training) and they will be
> sending one or maybe two instructors to observe as all
> at home, help us to understand our dog, and help us with
> home routines and training to straighten this out.
This will really help, I'm sure. They'll want to observe
and understand your pack's "dynamics."
Then they can show you some things that will allow
your husband to assume a more dominant role in the
dog's pack.
> While we're waiting for our first appointment, we're
> supposed to write down our own impressions of Chewie's
> behavior both around the bite and otherwise. And it is clear
> that he feels he came out of the encounter "a bigger man."
You bet. That's why an ounce of PREVENTION is
always worth a pound of CURE.
Especially when it comes to reinforcement of canine behavior.
> Yesterday and today he has gone nuts in the backseat
> of the car when somebody walked by with a male dog...
> and when he pees, he lifts his leg so high he fell over
> twice today.
Yup. This dog needs some intensive OBEDIENCE
training, in my opinion.
But it usually takes an on-site OBSERVATION to
make an accurate assessment of your situation.
> I feel pretty badly about this...sad, I guess. He's a
> great little dog.
He's not so "little," eh?
> Feisty, humorous, brave, curious and playful. Full of
> "joie de vivre" Not outstandlingly intelligent, but shrewd.
> Charming, when he wants to be. I feel like he's really
> blotted his copy books seriously, and I sure see how a
> lot of the responsibility for this is ours.
You're got the right attitude, Laura. Almost all canine behavior
"problems" are created (and reinforced) by us humans.
>Stay tuned, and see how it goes as we try to straighten out this
>dog -- and, maybe more importantly, his owners!
I will, and I hope you will, indeed, let us know how this works
out!
Good luck!
--
Dogman
dog...@i1.net
--
Dogman
dog...@i1.net
Dogman's Den
http://www.i1.net/~dogman
"One four minute session of obedience work,
done properly, will prevent behavior problems
for 48-72 hours. It's in the manual."
Jerry "Moonbeam" Howe
> > So huge that I cant get the condom off now.
Think physics. There's a solution in there.
> > Worse yet, the condom is full of dog shit
HOWE did that happen?
> > and my date will be ariving any second.
S-HOWENDS like she's gonna catch you
'fragrante delicto,' gactimus.
> > What should I do?
Pehaps you can hide it?
> Is your dick long enough to reach your asshole?
Good idea MonkeyBoy.
> V.G.
VBWEG.
> Sarcasm is my sword, Apathy is my shield.
"The day may come when the rest of the animal creation
may acquire those rights
which never could have been withholden from them
but by the hand of tyranny.
The question is not can they REASON,
nor can they TALK,
but can they SUFFER?" -
- Jeremy Bentham
"Of all tyrannies, a tyranny exercised
for the good of its victims,
may be the most oppressive.
Those who torment us for our own good
will torment us without end,
for they do so with the approval of
their own conscience." -
- C.S. Lewis.
"Death is better, a milder fate than tyranny",
Aeschylus (525BC-456BC),
Agamemnon.
edens rand mair fheal greykitten tomys des anges
who knows? maybe santas little helper will actually find it a turn on
arf meow arf
your weight in hell
... just proudly display it and tell her it's a religious thing
beelzibub
ps;
works for me
--
... this is my sig. it's one of the best
sigs on the net.i know what you're asking
yourself. 'did he post 5 or 6 messages'?
well, in all the confusion i kinda lost
track myself. so you gotta ask yourself
one question 'do you feel lucky'? huh,
DO YA? DO YA PUNK'? GO FOR IT, MAKE MY BED!!!'
Phorse 5
Cut your dick off. She'll think you are trying to understand the pain of
childbirth, or something.
--
from: Mr. J D Cooper aka Phorse 5 [Force 5]
Remove the number(s) from the email address
for fastest reply. More sig here:
© http://phorse.netfirms.com/sig.html ©
Fireball Holdings © 2001 - 2004
ABN: 23 939 806 835
Luc Teh Pervrse
"edens rand mair fheal greykitten tomys des anges" <mair_...@yahoo.com>
wrote in message news:mair_fheal-1739F...@corp.supernews.com...
If so, I would advise staying away from that girl
-LTP
:)
Luc Teh Pervrse
"Phorse 5" <dapho...@yahoo.com.au> wrote in message
news:41308E3E...@yahoo.com.au...
> Gactimus wrote:
> >
> > This is real embarassing. I am going on a date tonight and I thought
> > I better try on some condoms to be sure I got the right ones. I put
> > one on my dick and just then my dog came into the room and began
> > licking me. That got me so aroused that I got a huge erection. So
> > huge that I cant get the condom off now. Worse yet, the condom is
> > full of dog shit and my date will be ariving any second. What should
> > I do?
>
> Cut your dick off. She'll think you are trying to understand the pain of
> childbirth, or something.
And make sure you clean the dog shit up before you get an infection
Then go on the date
-LTP
:)
BELANGER
<luc.remo...@comcastCHANGETONET.com> wrote:
>> Gactimus wrote:
>> >
>> > This is real embarassing. I am going on a date tonight and I thought
>> > I better try on some condoms to be sure I got the right ones. I put
>> > one on my dick and just then my dog came into the room and began
>> > licking me. That got me so aroused that I got a huge erection. So
>> > huge that I cant get the condom off now. Worse yet, the condom is
>> > full of dog shit and my date will be ariving any second. What should
>> > I do?
>And make sure you clean the dog shit up before you get an infection
Hold on -- I thought that the dog had been _licking_ his genitals and
that he had thus, against his will, got an erection. The presence of
"dog shit" suggests otherwise...
--
BELANGER
The Puppy Wizard
"BELANGER" <ready_TAK...@hotmail.com> wrote in message
news:6j91j0tnjr7dnvoro...@4ax.com...
The Puppy Wizard
"Luc Teh Pervrse" <luc.remo...@comcastCHANGETONET.com> wrote
in message news:bvCdneSfpoR...@comcast.com...
Mel
<luc.remo...@comcastCHANGETONET.com> wrote in message
<wvCdnXL5jrI...@comcast.com>:
>"edens rand mair fheal greykitten tomys des anges" <mair_...@yahoo.com>
>wrote in message news:mair_fheal-1739F...@corp.supernews.com...
>> In article <Xns95516...@alaska.local>, Gactimus <gact...@xrs.net>
>> > I better try on some condoms to be sure I got the right ones. I put
>> > one on my dick and just then my dog came into the room and began
>> > licking me. That got me so aroused that I got a huge erection. So
>> > huge that I cant get the condom off now. Worse yet, the condom is
>> > full of dog shit and my date will be ariving any second. What should
>> > I do?
>> who knows? maybe santas little helper will actually find it a turn on
>If so, I would advise staying away from that girl
actually it's a reindeer.
--
smash yer modem, reboot, kill yerself
Mel the Defiler
member, ATJ regs
webmaster of atjfaq.com
http://www.atjfaq.com/
Luc Teh Pervrse
Well he appearantly sodomized the dog as soon as he got the erection
-LTP
:)
Switch
>>>>>I better try on some condoms to be sure I got the right ones. I put
>>>>>one on my dick and just then my dog came into the room and began
>>>>>licking me. That got me so aroused that I got a huge erection. So
>>>>>huge that I cant get the condom off now. Worse yet, the condom is
>>>>>full of dog shit and my date will be ariving any second. What should
>>>>>I do?
>>
>>>And make sure you clean the dog shit up before you get an infection
>>
>>Hold on -- I thought that the dog had been _licking_ his genitals and
>>that he had thus, against his will, got an erection. The presence of
>>"dog shit" suggests otherwise...
>
>
> Well he appearantly sodomized the dog as soon as he got the erection
>
And made sure the people on the Internet knew about the experience.
--
The Wax Conspiracy - dampening conduits
http://www.thewaxconspiracy.com/
Softee
in There's Something More About Mary!
Softee
Moen
Erm, why wasn't this crossposted to alt.games.the-sims?
The Puppy Wizard
"Moen" <hew...@operamail.dot.com.invalid> wrote in message
news:dlo3j0hupmcp215l4...@4ax.com...
> On Thu, 26 Aug 2004 10:25:35 -0400, Gactimus <gact...@xrs.net>
wrote:
>
> > This is real embarassing. I am going on a date
>
> Erm, why wasn't this crossposted to alt.games.the-sims?
Could be The Simpsons don't play like that?
Subject: Re: I have soooo many pics of
Maggie Simpson masturbating
Date: 2004-07-18 19:55:05 PST
HOWEDY Clean,
"Clean" <cloth...@madtoons.com> wrote in message
news:P1FKc.33168$vO1.1...@nnrp1.uunet.ca...
>
> As our treat,
Nice handle. Cleanlieness is next to G-Dlieness.
Ain't it.
> do you daydream about cumming on Marge
> Simpson's buttcheeks?
NOT unless she looks like professor SCRUFF SHAKE.
> Here: http://www.cartoonXXXzone.COM///ximpsons/../ximpsons/
Thanks, The Amazing Puppy Wizard will have a look see...
> You try also Http://Sex-Toons-XXX.COM//simpsons for
> extra shotz of Lisa and Maggie masturbating in front of
> their family.
You mean like professor SCRUFF SHAKE'S little
dog Maxie The Magnificent FuriHOWESLY Obsessive
Compulsive Masturbator furiHOWESLY masturbates
on his C-HOWECH pillows if he doesn't get his daily
five miles of bicycle chasin.
> You try also http://WWW.MADToons.Com///simpsons for
> the really extreme pics of Marge and Bart masturbating
> each other.
That's VERY relaxing. IN FACT, simulating
masturbating Maxie is HOWE professor
SCRUFF SHAKE CURED his anxiHOWESNESS
INDUCED AUTO-IMMUNE DIS-EASE, aka The
Puppy Wizard's SYNDROME.
> I <wond...@madtoons.com> wrote in message
> news:ve056hg...@madtoons.com...
> >
> > shed let me wear one of hers
Perhaps you can let matty try it on next?
HOWEDY People,
Here's HOWE professor "SCRUFF SHAKE
and SCREAM 'NO!' into ITS face for 5 seconds
and lock IT in a box for ten minutes contemplation"
dermer cured his little dog Maxie The Magnificent
FuriHOWEsly Obsessive Compulsive Masturbator's
Disassociative Behavior DIS-EASE and his STRESS
INDUCED AUTO-IMMUNE urinary tract / bladder /
irritable BHOWEL DIS-EASE, aka The Puppy Wizard's SYNDROME:
(der...@alpha1.csd.uwm.edu)
Subject: Re: Struvite Crystals
Date: 2003-07-15 11:33:42 PST
In article <20030715070853...@mb-m12.aol.com>
ebt...@aol.com13 (Ebthtr) writes:
>
> Anyone on this list have expirence with this?
> Our ESS is fed Hill's C/D, has been on antibiotics.
> She went off them a few months back and since
> she has been retested her triple phosphate crystals
> are "many" once again.
>Is there an alternative to a lifetime of anitbiotics?
>Thanks
I have a male dog who had calcium oxalate crystals
and muliple bladder infections. I can't say I have a
cure for the bladder infections, but one issue is how
the bacteria are introduced into his bladder.
My vet asked me if our dog cleaned his genitals and
the answer was no.
So, last January I started washing my dog's genital
area with a wiper and some aloe gel (an antibiotic)
DAILY.
So far he has not had a bladder infection but the
interval between infections was about 9 months.
We'll just have to wait and see what happens.
You could try cleaning your dog daily as suggested above.
==================================
BWEEEEEEEEAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA!!!
ALL OCD'S ARE CAUSED BY STRESS.
The Amazing Puppy Wizard. <{} ; ~ ) >
"Speech is a mirror of the soul: as a man speaks,
so is he." Publilius Syrus, First century B.C., Maxim 1073
"We are what we do."
From: Marshall Dermer (der...@alpha1.csd.uwm.edu)
Subject: Re: Jerry's Dog Training Manual
Date: 2001-07-12 06:49:13 PST
>Paul B wrote:
>> While the concept of shake cans is not new,
>> I haven't read any other advice that says to
>> praise immediately regardless of what the dog
>> does next (the common advice is to praise once
>> the dog is doing a desired behaviour or at least
>> stopped the unwanted behaviour), this is unique
>> to Jerry (and Marilyn) and from my own experiences
>> is an important part of the process.
And how do we know this aspect of his advice is right?
Jerry is not God and his manual is not the Bible.
His advice could be subject to an empirical analysis.
--Marshall
=================
"Marshall Dermer" <der...@alpha1.csd.uwm.edu>
wrote in message news:9ihtee$7ib$1...@uwm.edu...
>
From: Paul B (NOSPAM...@zfree.co.nz)
Subject: Re: Jerry's Dog Training Manual
Date: 2001-07-12 00:13:28 PST
Hello Marshall,
The way I view it from my observation of how
my dogs react is that the distraction interrupts
the dogs thought, not for good or bad, just
interrupts, the dog is therefore distracted for
a second and then will either continue the
behaviour or do something else.
The praise reassures the dog that the sound
distraction is not a threat or punishment,
however if everytime the dog resumes a
particular behaviour it's distracted immediately
(and praised immediately for reassurance) then
it quickly decides this behaviour is not fulfilling
and it ceases.
A dog will offer another behaviour in it's place
and if that is acceptable to us then we let it be
otherwise the distraction continues until a suitable
alternate behaviour is offered.
One example, Sam used to jump up on me
when I arrived home, I would shake can to
distract him right at the moment he was
about to jump up, after about 4 repetitions
he tried sitting and offering me his paw, of
course this was fine so I let it be.
While the concept of shake cans is not new,
I haven't read any other advice that says to
praise immediately regardless of what the
dog does next (the common advice is to
praise once the dog is doing a desired
behaviour or at least stopped the unwanted
behaviour), this is unique to Jerry (and Marilyn)
and from my own experiences is an important
part of the process.
> Thanks Paul! He does recommend praising
> a dog for barking, but he appears to recognize
> that this may not work and so distraction
> is recommended as a back up procedure:
"Estel J. Hines" <ejh...@comcast.net> wrote in message
news:w86dna9lBfN...@comcast.com...
>
>>> Until i read the Jerry method of Bark reduction,
>>> it went something like this with our 11 month old
>>> puppy "Yoshi"
>
>>> Yoshi: Bark, bark,
>
>>> us: HUSH Youshi
>
>>> Yoshi Bark, bark......................
>
>>> us: Hush Youshi
>
>>> Yoshi BARK, BARK, BARK, .................................
>
>>> it stopped when Yoshi got tired barking
>
>>> We decided to try the Jerry method
>
>>> :Yoshi: BARK, BARK
>
>>> US: GOOD Yoshi, Good Boy, who is it?
>
>>> Yoshi Bark, Bark
>
>>> US: It's ok, good boy Yoshi, We know them
>>> Yosh without fail, now stops after we say that
>>> I must say, it is so much more fun, when we
>>> can praise him, to deal with things like this.
>
>>> Thanks Jerry
>
>>> ps: We are just starting to go thru the Jerry
>>> Papers, and learn how to live with our son
>>> "Yoshi", whom we love very much. --
>
>>> Best Regards,
>>> Estel J. Hines
==============
> There really is NOTHING new about the advice above!
Nuthin EXXXCEPT HOWE IT'S DONE.
"Leprechaun" <Lepre...@attglobal.net> wrote in message
news:m01Hc.20882$uK.1...@twister.tampabay.rr.com...
> >Jerry believes he's a dog trainer.
>
> Fortunately, I happen to believe he is too.
> I took a rescued three year old beagle that
> had been kept outside all of its life that didn't
> even recognize or respond to its name to
> Jerry's home (That ugly cinder block shack???
> get real) and in just over one hour of working
> with the dog, he was coming on command
> (not a quickly as he does now, but still...) and
> walking with us on a loose lead.
>
> His "hot/cold" exercise and "come when called"
> command and pack exercise WORK!
>
> > and in all likelihood he's never even been near a dog.
>
> Well, he's been near mine, and done wonders for him.
>
> You don't have to like him. You don't have
> to agree with his methods, but as far as I
> am concerned, I've never seen any other
> training approach that was as fast and easy.
>
> <<<< Rest of original post deleted >>>>
>
> Ron Flanagan
> Orlando, Florida
-----------------------
Hi, Jerry.
I'm not sure that I'm a 100% convert, or that I agree
with (or even understand) 100% of what you say in this
manual ... BUT ... we had "come" down pat in a few
reps and you could have knocked me down when I tried
the exercise with "drop" and, after a few reps in
different spots Darwin practically *threw* the rubber
ball at my feet on command. He's still not perfect
(just a pup, after all, and he's stubborn enough to
want to push and test me a little bit more).
For what it's worth, I can see (as no doubt you have)
how your usenet manner is likely to rankle a few
folks, but that woman who advocates ear pulling and
beating with sticks deserves everything she gets. Even
if that was the only method that would work, I'd live
with my dog not fetching rather than do any of that.
(Darwin fetches enthusiastically and instinctively,
tho').
Best, ben
===================
Original Message -----
From: Lindalee
To: Jerry Howe
Sent: Saturday, November 02, 2002 2:37 PM
Subject: Re: dog aggression - Today Seemed Like A Miracle -
WELCOME TO WITS' END DOG TRAINING!
Sunshine is still acting like a new dog!
Saw a dog today and "good boy-" worked along with calling him-
came the first time every time. Not even a sound out of him.
Think it is hard for him but he never even seemed to think
about going off-reacting.
The word come has no affect on him just the phrase-
-Sunshine come goodboy.
----- Original Message -----
From: <>
To: "Jerry Howe" <jho...@bellsouth.net>
Sent: Saturday, December 28, 2002 5:21 PM
Subject: Re: Damned Family Leadership Exercise -
Re: Am I expecting to much
Hi Jerry,
When I talked to you on the phone to order to machine
for daughter's new pup, I told you that I had an older
Chessie. I rescued him at 9 years old and have had
him for 3 years.
It's funny, but I thought I'd try some of your book
training with him. Where I used to say "come" and
then say "good boy" when he obeyed, I have reversed
it with a "good boy" first.
It really does work.
He was very confused at first, wondering what he
had done to get the praise.
But it really gets the attention and distracts him from
whatever he may have going through his brain when
he hears it.
Dogs are funny, but people are too. Can't wait to get
the Doggy do Right, etc.
Thanks,
N
=========
"Greg M. Silverman" <gmsN...@no.umn.edu> wrote in message
Hey, Mr. Wizard, or Alchemist or whatever your alias
of the day is, have to say that our dog heels much
better than she did. This is after reading and
implementing the bit in your "Wits End" treatise.
And she's a royal nutter (but then again, aren't they all?).
Cheers! Greg--
--------------------
Subject: Re: Lab/Rot 11 Months (TEMPER PROBLEMS)
Date: 2004-05-21 19:22:05 PST
> "Zack Pellers" <ZackP...@GUESSWHERE.cc>
> wrote in message
> dli...@towson.edu (Derek) wrote in news:
> 697700b8.04052...@posting.google.com:
>
> Your dog needs to be retrained. Contact Mr. Jerry Howe.
>
> Http://www.DoggyDoRight.com
>
> You can start by downloading the free training
> manual available on the site above. I used it on
> my 4 year old Fila Brasileiro.
>
> When I first brought him home from rescue, he
> was similar to the way you decribed your dog.
> After using Mr. Howe's training method, the dog
> was cured within 72 hours.
>
> -Jack
"Ned" <komo...@rogers.com> wrote in message
news:fQIg9.25850$561....@news02.bloor.is.net.cable.rogers.com...
> Hi !
> Our black lab girl is 3 months old (she will be 4 months
> on the 30th).
>
> When we first brought her home she had a bad habit
> of trying to nip our faces (including my 3 year old twins)
> during playtime. It drove everyone in the house nuts
> and it brought my little girls to tears as you can imagine.
>
> We tried saying no, and that would just get her even
> more excited, so we would yell no and that would just
> get her "scared" but still excited. In short it just wasn't
> working.
>
> So we finally did what Jerry has suggested to you.
> We used a sound do distract her and we would
> immediately praise her.
>
> I have to say that it worked great. BUT she then
> moved on to nipping at the feet LOL silly little thing.
>
> So again, we tried no, and then louder no, but again
> it didn't work so we went for the distraction and praise.
> I must say that she is doing great!
>
> I hope that helps.
> Edyta aka Ned
===================
Sent: Thursday, June 26, 2003 9:06 AM
Hello.
I never posted here (or anywhere) before.
I never trained or owned a dog before this
year.
I downloaded the Wit's End, read it, corresponded
with Mr. Howe and trained my dog to come and to
stop barking in a weekend.
Our dog, Jake, had been treated with kindness the
whole time we had him, about 10 months, but his
earlier life is unknown.
I worked on the hot-cold exercise for about 30
minutes when he suddenly "got it". After that
he came to me every time with no hesitation.
I used the cans filled with pennies to teach him
not to bark. If he now starts to bark, I go to the
door or window, say "Good Boy, its' alright" and
he usually calms down right away.
A couple of times I had to get the cans
out again to reinforce the behavior.
We feel a strong bond with this animal
and he is very eager to accept our love.
So with all the vitriolic spewing going on,
I have to believe Mr. Howe is right.
His method worked for us.
I don't know if it would have been quite
as effective if we had tried another method first.
Florence
------------------------------------
----- Original Message -----
From: "nicole" <To: "Jerald D. Howe">
Sent: Tuesday, June 24, 2003 10:46 AM
Subject: Off to a good start!
Hi Jerald, Just wanted to tell you we read
your manual and have started working with
the dogs...
"Chloe" (the one we adopted--a. k. a.
"The Destroyer") has already shown
great improvement! (In Just 1 DAY!)
She responds even better than our other
(better-behaved) dog "Poe".
We tried out the surrogate toy technique, and
not a thing was touched when we got back!
We were both surprised because Chloe isn't
that interested in toys and was still very uptight
about us reaching for the door... anyway, it
seemed to work.
We both work all day today so we'll see
how that goes... Regardless, we will be
cool as cukes when we get home! ;)
I'm just so thankful we might have a chance
to get through to her! We're very excited about
her progress thus far...
Thank You!
Nicole, Michael, Poe and especially Chloe!
__________________________________
> Sound distraction may be understood in
> terms of the more general behavior analytic
> approach as follows.
>
> The distracting stimulus
Like a SCRUFF SHAKE, professor?
>evokes a behavior that is incompatible with barking.
You mean like SCREAMING "NO!" into ITS face
for 5 seconds?
> The dog engages in some other behavior
NO, professor SCRUFF SHAKE.
THAT AIN'T HOWE IT WORKS.
> and then is reinforced (if praise functions as a
> reinforcer).
NO, professor. You don't UNDERSTAND the METHOD.
> --Marshal
ANAL-yize THIS, professor SCRUFF SHAKE:
Here's professor of ANAL-ytic behaviorISM research
at UofWI marshall "SCRUFF SHAKE and SCREAM
"NO!" into ITS face for five seconds and lock IT in a
box for ten minutes contemplation" dermer:
"At this point, "No" does not have any behavioral function.
But, if you say "No,"pick up the puppy by its neck and
shake it a bit, and the frequency of the biting decreases
then you will have achieved too things.
First, the frequency of unwanted chewing has decreased;
and two, you have established "No" as a conditioned punisher.
How much neck pulling and shaking? Just the
minimum necessary to decrease the unwanted
biting.
******IS THAT A CONSISTENT 5 SECONDS?*******
When our dog was a puppy, "No" came before mild
forms of punishment (I would hold my dog's mouth
closed for a few seconds.) whereas "Bad Dog" came
before stronger punishement (the kind discussed above).
"No" is usually sufficient but sometimes I use "Bad Dog"
to stop a behavior. "Bad Dog" ALWAYS works," marshall
dermer, research professor of ANAL-ytic behaviorISM at
UofWI. For MOORE animal abuse, please visit dr p.
BWAHAHAHHAHAAAA!!!!!
That's INSANE. Ain't it.
The Amazing Puppy Wizard. <{}TPW ; ~ } >
P.S. Contacting Dr. P:
Please note that due to the large number of
requests I receive, I can no longer give free,
personal advice on problems related to dog
training and behavior.
In order for me to give such advice we would
have to "talk" about the problem at length.
That is, I would need detailed information about
the dog, it's environment and routine, the problem,
and the situation in which the problem occurs.
Thus, this type of consultation takes time which
I cannot afford to give away for free.
If you wish such advice, please see the information
I have provided about my K9 Behavioral Consulting
practice. Another alternative to obtaining personal
advice is to participate in e-mail, chat room, &
newsgroup discussions.
P.P.S. BWEEEEEEEAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAAA!!!
YOU'RE FRAUDS, drs p. and dermer!
Either DEFEND your LIES, ABUSE And
Degrees or get the heel HOWETA THIS
BUSINESS.
"If you talk with the animals, they will talk with you
and you will know each other.
If you do not talk to them, you will not know them,
and what you do not know you will fear.
What one fears, one destroys."
Chief Dan George
"Rootman" <no-...@nowhere.org> wrote in message
news:vd83djr...@corp.supernews.com...
>
> Mini Adolph Hitler (aka megalomanic) wrote:
>
> <snipped>
>
> Something else that was completely stupid,
> ignorant false and nongermane.
>
>
> JH, you are a goosestepping, facist, brownshirt,
> terrorist supporting, nazi thug. YOU hurt and kill
> dogs then try and cover it up by dreaming up false
> quotes to support your own retard methods.
>
> Go and practice your wild facism somewhere else.
>
---------------------------------------------------------------
"(Also, it is best to killfile posts from the
few regulars here who are either ill-
tempered, ill-mannered, or just plain ill.),"
--Marshall
> ----- Original Message -----
> From: "Marshall Dermer" <der...@csd.uwm.edu>
> To: "The Puppy Wizard"
> <ThePupp...@earthlink.net>
> Sent: Friday, July 23, 2004 2:53 PM
> Subject: God Bless The Puppy Wizard
>
> Dear Mr. Puppy Wizard,
>
> I have, of late, come to recognize your genius
> and now must applaud your attempts to save
> animals from painful training procedures.
>
> You are indeed a hero, a man of exceptional talent,
> who tirelessly devotes his days to crafting posts to
> alert the world to animal abuse.
>
> We are lucky to have you, and more people should
> come to their senses and support your valuable
> work.
>
> Have you thought of establishing a nonprofit
> charity to fund your important work?
>
> Have you thought about holding a press conference
> so others can learn of your highly worthwhile
> and significant work?
>
> In closing, my only suggestion is that you
> try to keep your messages short for most
> readers may refuse to read a long message
> even if it is from the wise, heroic Puppy Wizard.
>
> I wish you well in your endeavors.
>
> --Marshall Dermer
> Marshall Dermer/Associate Professor/Behavior
> Analysis Specialty/Department of Psychology/
> University of Wisconsin-Milwaukee/Milwaukee,WI 53201
> der...@uwm.edu http://www.uwm.edu/~dermer
> --------------------------------------
All truth passes through three stages.
First, it is ridiculed.
Second, it is violently opposed.
Third, it is accepted as being self-evident.
-Arthur Schopenhauer
"If you've got them by the balls their hearts
and minds will follow,"
John Wayne.
The Amazing Puppy Wizard. <{} ; ~ ) >
Here's HOWE The Amazing Puppy Wizard teaches
HIS FREE WWW Wits' End Dog Training Method
Manual Students to train their critters NEARLY
INSTANTLY.
New Law Of Physics
HOWEDY People,
"The amount of misery and difficulty a dog abuser
has from their dogs is directly proportionate to the
number of times they've WARNED people to KILLFILE
Jerry and not study your FREE copy of The Puppy
Wizard's FREE WWW Wits' End Dog Training Method
Manual..."
"The Methods, Principles, And Philosophy Of
Behavior Never Change, Or They'd Not Be
Scientific And Would Not Obtain Consistent,
Reliable, Fast, Effective Results For All Handler's
And All Dogs, NEARLY INSTANTLY, As Taught
In Your FREE Copy Of The Puppy Wizard's FREE
WWW Wits' End Dog Training Method Manual."
The Puppy Wizard. <{} ; ~ ) >
Here's Disciple Paulie:
Disciple Paulie Sez: "No One Understands
How Wits End Training Really Works, They
Assume It's All Nicey Nicey And don't Realise
It's A Very Disciplined Method That Deals With
Any Situation And The Foundation Is Built On
Trust And Understanding."
Disciple Paulie Writes:
I've never forced my dogs to do anything, I tell
them they are good dogs and they seem to
follow me, once I told them they were bad dogs
and they ran away from me, now I only ever tell
them they are good dogs and they always are, always.
Trust your dog, ask it to do your request and say
"good dog" sincerely at the end of the request and
I bet you'll find your dog thinking then responding
everytime.
A bit of respect works wonders, the same rule applies
to every aspect of the relationship with your dog.
Obedience and affection are not related, if they were
everyone would have obedient dogs.
Paul.
========================
Here's a couple of The Puppy Wizard's FREE
WWW Wits' End Dog Training Method Manual
Students tellin you HOWE they done it EZ GENTLY
NEARLY INSTANTLY and FOR FREE:
----- Original Message -----
From: <Juanita>
To: <ThePupp...@EarthLink.Net>
Sent: Sunday, July 11, 2004 5:38 PM
Subject: Re: Heeling Pattern Exercise & Fear of Loud Noises
> Hi Jerry,
HOWEDY Juanita,
> Thought you might like an update.
It's always nice to hear from my students.
> Guess I should turn Harri, at least, out in
> the pasture before trying any exercises!
> She seems to consider it a fine time for
> bathroom behaviors.
That's EITHER anxiHOWESNESS or MALINGERING.
> Who would think so much poop can come
> from one dog in such a short time!? <g>
That's an old trick, Juanita. Your dog is probably
just malingering, but it MAY be nerves.
> What I really wanted to share with you, tho,
> is Namie's progress with fear of thunder.
Oh? We got a bonus?
> Even before I got your last email saying to
> praise with each noise, I was doing that one
> night, to my husband's scornful amusement.
Yeah. People don't understand what we're doin.
> Guess I got that idea from when you said
> (in the manual, I think) wouldn't it be handy
> if you could know when such a sound would
> happen? For the noise distraction.
Right.
> Today, it was thundering again, but Namie
> seems unconcerned about it--didn't even
> raise his head up, much less the usual
> pacing/looking for a safe place/drooling/
> whimpering/coming to his human for comfort!
EXXXCELLENT!
> And, I *know* he has to have heard it, as
> he usually starts acting antsy well before
> WE can hear it.
Of curse!
> I took them both out to the pasture, the back
> way, so I would not have to carry Namie up
> stairs--Harri on lead but Namie free--and on
> the way back he was ranging a ways away.
>
> I didn't even have to call him, just told him
> he's a good boy, and he came right to me.
Of curse!
> I think installing come with him will be
> much easier than with Harri.
At most it would take 4 HOWERS of
15 minute sessions to install a 100%
reliable come command.
> So, we are still a work in progress-
Perhaps with a little more practice you'll
get the come technique down pat.
> -if only I had more free time!
Just try not to use the come command until
it's thoroughly installed to avoid failure.
> And the weather was more cooperative.
> Oh, well, I do what I can . . .
S-HOWENDS like you're doin EXXXCELLENT!
> Thanks,
Thank you! I couldn't do it without your help!
> Juanita
Your Puppy Wizard. <{} ; ~ ) >
"Dan Moore" <moor...@worldnet.att.net>
wrote in message
news:fS2Lc.114567$OB3....@bgtnsc05-news.ops.worldnet.att.net.
..
>
> Tracy,
>
> What worked for me, in just one storm,
> was to praise the dog after each clap
> of thunder, telling him he's a Good Dog!
>
> This is an almost 13 year old Doberman, BTW.
>
> The next time it thundered, he did not even react at
> all--you could not tell it was the same dog as before.
>
> There was more thunder just the other day, and same
> thing, nada, nothing, zilch, no cowering, whimpering,
> trying to hide at all, it was that simple.
>
> I got this idea from Jerry Howe, who might seem
> to be a "wild and crazy" character, but his non-
> abusive way of handling dogs WORKS.
>
> Wonderfully.
>
> Praise.
>
> It's that simple.
>
> Juanita
"The Puppy Wizard" <ThePupp...@earthlink.net>
schreef inbericht
news:DLpzb.2640$Qd6....@newsread1.news.atl.earthlink.net...
>
> You'll get ALL the INFORMATION you need in your
> FREE copy of The Puppy Wizard's FREE WWW
> Wits' End Dog Training Method Manual. You'll be
> taught some general exercises to calm and relax
> your dog and give him the direct attention he
> NEEDS in only a few minutes every other day, and
> you'll learn HOWE to use distraction and praise to
> EXXXTINGUISH the HABITUAL aspect of this DIS-
> EASE.
My dog (a 1 year old Yellow Lab) was biting his tail
at the root (Vet said his anal gland was blocked, and
was causing an itch).
After squeezing it, he still wouldn't stop biting his
tail. The vet advised a neck-funnel (don't know wat
you US-guy's call those) so he couldn't reach his butt.
I hate those things, i think they will drive a dog nuts.
I tried the wits end method. (difficult to read such a long
textfile if English is not your native language) Luckily this
is without all the "HOWE's" etc.so at least it's readable for
somebody like me.
The minute he started to bite i trew my key's
next to him on the floor, and praised him (he
stopped biting and looked up when he heard
the sound) I did this 7 times,
after that the tailbiting completely stopped.
Just give the wits end method a try.
One of the possible downloadlocations
is http://www.doggydoright.com/id3.html
Hennie van Dalen
www.chello.nl/~h.vandalen11
----------------------------
"Paul B" <ab...@clear.net.nz> schreef in bericht
news:3ff5...@clear.net.nz...
>
> Both my dogs at some stage have licked a spot
> somewhere on their bodies and I have always
> managed to train them to stop. In all cases there
> was nothing wrong that licking would have helped
> (Roz has had cut pads, stitches in her belly and
> skin itrritations, all tempting her to lick), none of their
> licking has been due to any allergies
>
>. When I see the dog licking more than normal I
> look at the spot to see whats there and decide if
> a vet appointment is needed or to wait and see,
> keeping a close eye.
>
>To stop the licking I distract the dog and give it
> some friendly banter, when it starts licking again
> I repeat, usually after about 4 times the dog stops,
> for the moment at least, if it starts again then repeat,
> before long the dog has no more desire to lick that
> spot at all.
The same thing worked with my lab licking/chewing
problem too. He had an itch due to blocked anal glands
and started chewing and licking his tail at the root.
After the glands were squeezed, and the itch was
gone he still wouldn't stop. (because the place he
chewed raw was itching)
After some training (roughly the same methode as
yours) he stopped.
--
Hennie van Dalen
www.chello.nl/~h.vandalen11
www.chello.nl/~h.vandalen11/fotografie/doggy-pictures/
--------------------------------------
"Hennie van Dalen" <h.vandalen11***removethis***@chello.nl>
wrote in message news:TlsCb.2895$7U1.7896@amstwist00...
RTFM is age-old computer lingo.... It stands for "Read The F***ing
Manual" ;-) I used the manual and it works
very good!
But it is a long text to read (76 pages printed on
A4-size paper) My lab is 1year old now, and teaching
him something new takes about 30minutes
(depending on what to teach offcourse)
My other dog (a 7year old staffordshire terrier-mix) is a bit
slower in learning, but he is used to me calling him a "bad
dog"whenever he did something i didn't want him to do, or
it might be the age.
Sometimes it looks like Sam (the lab) WANTS to learn
something new: he wants me to bring along the can
filled with washers whenever we go for a walk. It is a
very "humane" way of teaching: the dog is allways a
"good dog", and never a "bad dog"
There is nu punishment or prong-collars involved.
For a fact i tought him to heel in 15min's without
beeing on a leach at-all !!! When he spotted a dog,
he used to run towards it, but now i tought him to "ask
permission" first, and to my surprise it worked!
My dogs never went to puppy-training (lucky for them),
maybe this helped too.
Manual can be found at http://www.doggydoright.com/id3.html
-- Hennie van Dalen www.chello.nl/~h.vandalen11
www.chello.nl/~h.vandalen11/fotografie/doggy-pictures/
----- Original Message -----
From: Hoku Beltz
To: The Puppy Wizard
Sent: Thursday, September 26, 2002 6:12 PM
Subject: Mahalo
Aloha Jerry,
Just wanted to let you know that the surrogate toy
technique is working wonders. I have not had a
shredded sheet for over a week now. It is nice
to be able to leave the bed made and come home
to a made bed.
Your program is awesome, but you already know
that. Keep up the good work!
Hoku
==================
"Hoku Beltz" <ho...@rsphawaii.com> wrote in message
news:SN2k9.45447$V7.10...@twister.socal.rr.com...
> Aloha Sunny,
> Just follow the training program to the letter, no matter how
> insignificant some of the step seem to be and your pupy will
> be a very well behaved dog in a few days.
>
> I would seriously consider backing out of the training classes
> as they will conflict with the Wit's End principles.
>
> I went the training route first, and still had problems until I
> found Wits' End. Now I have two "new and improved" dogs.
> You won't be dissapointed if you follow the program.
>
> Good luck,
> Hoku
==================
Dave Cohen <coh...@total.net writes:
Re: Barking Deterrants Needed...
Hi. Please understand that I do not know Jerry and have
spoken with him briefly once by email.
I have no stake or interest in the success of his
business. I simply want to thank him publicly for one
of his tips, with regards to separation anxiety.
I thought it seemed far fetched to praise a stuffed
animal and then say good bye to my own dog, but
I am usually a very open minded person, so I tried it.
Well, lo and behold- the damn trick worked!
I think Jerry has some intriguing techniques, and
personally I think everyone who constantly criticizes
him is not understanding his logic. Thank you Jerry!
===================
Jeremy writes:
"A customer recently purchased a Shiba Inu and I suspect
she may be in for a wild ride. This is a breed that I suspect
may respond particularly well to mutual respect style training.
The alpha complex (as I now call it) is likely to
really provoke the dog's naturally competitive nature.
Thanks 1000 times for opening my eyes and don't let
those @$$#&% get you down. I can't be the only person
that sees the sense in your methods. I'm in Windsor,
Ontario, Canada and pass your info to anyone it might
help" Thanks, Jeremy.
================
"Ted Rumple" <rumpl...@kalbar.net> wrote in message
news:30aa784b.03092...@posting.google.com...
>
> Jerry, I am forever in your debt. The system you have
> created for training dogs is absolutely amazing!
>
> I can't wait until the new version is available for human
> children!
>
> Thank you for your service to humanity!
From: Paul B (NOSPAM...@zfree.co.nz)
Subject: Re: Get off the bed... please?
Date: 2001-07-03 03:05:59 PST
A bit of respect works wonders, the same rule applies to
every aspect of the relationship with your dog.
Paul.
========================
The Jewish text _Darchei Shalom_
(Path of Peace) offers this advice for
coexistance.
1. Address issues, not people.
2. Check sources. Statements about the beliefs,
behaviors, and quotations of another group should
always be verified with members of that group for
accuracy, context, and intent.
3. Avoid stereotyping and sweeping generalities,
such as defining a whole group's behavior by the
behavior of some.
4. Avoid words of incitement. Language meant
merely to mock, divide, and insult should *never*
be used.
Are we havin FUN yet?
"The day may come when the rest of the animal creation
may acquire those rights
which never could have been withholden from them
but by the hand of tyranny.
The question is not can they REASON,
nor can they TALK,
but can they SUFFER?" -
- Jeremy Bentham
"Of all tyrannies, a tyranny exercised
for the good of its victims,
may be the most oppressive.
Those who torment us for our own good
will torment us without end,
for they do so with the approval of
their own conscience." -
- C.S. Lewis.
"Death is better, a milder fate than tyranny",
Aeschylus (525BC-456BC),
Agamemnon.
"Only the unenlightened speak of wisdom and right
action as separate, not the wise. If any man knows
one, he enjoys the fruit of both. The level which is
reached by wisdom is attained through right action
as well. He who perceives that the two are one knows
the truth."
"Even the wise man acts in character with his nature,
indeed all creatures act according to their natures.
What is the use of compulsion then? The love and
hate which are aroused by the objects of sense arise
from Nature, do not yield to them. They only obstruct
the path." Bhagavad Gita, adapted by Krishna with
permission from His FREE copy of my FREE Wits'
End Dog Training Method manual.
"The greatness of a nation and its moral
progress can be judged by the way its
animals are treated." ~ Mohandas Gandhi --
Adapted with permission from his FREE
copy of The Puppy Wizard's FREE Wits'
End Dog Training Method Manual. <}TPW ; ~ ) >
Force training JERRYIZES dogs...,
and GETS THEM DEAD.
ALL BEHAVIOR PROBLEMS ARE
CAUSED BY MISHANDLING.
A Dog Is A Dog As A Kat Is A Kat As A
Birdie Is A Birdie As A Child Is A Child As A
SP-HOWES Is a SP-HOWES.
ALL Critters Only Respond In PREDICTABLE INNATE
NORMAL NATURAL INSTINCTIVE REFLEXIVE Ways
To Situations And Circumstances Of Their Environment
Which We Create For Them.
Damn The Descartean War of "Nature Vs Nurture."
We Teach By HOWER Words And Actions
And GET BACK What We TAUGHT.
The Puppy Wizard's SYNDROME is the perfect
synergy of love, pride, desire, self will, greed,
ego, fear, hate, arrogance, disbelief, jealousy,
embarrassment, embellishment, shame, guilt,
anger, aversion, attraction, revulsion, change,
permanence, enlightenment, insult, attrition,
and conditioning.
It's the perfect fusion of The Word...,
in the physical.
It's time for the dog training industry and
the universities who TEACH "behaviorists"
to DEFEND THEIR METHODS against 100%
NEAR INSTANT TOTAL SUCCESS as PROVEN
by the C-HOWENTLESS NEARLY INSTANTLY
SUCCESSFUL FREE WWW Wits' End Dog
Training Method Manual Student's REPORTS,
after they've "TRIED ALL OTHER METHODS
and FAILED".
"The thinking that got us into this mess
will be insufficient to get us out of it."
--Albert Einstein
> ----- Original Message -----
> From: "Marshall Dermer"
> <der...@csd.uwm.edu>
> To: "The Puppy Wizard"
> <ThePupp...@earthlink.net>
> Sent: Friday, July 23, 2004 2:53 PM
>
> Subject: God Bless The Puppy Wizard
>
> Dear Mr. Puppy Wizard,
>
> I have, of late, come to recognize your
> genius and now must applaud your attempts
> to save animals from painful training
> procedures.
>
> You are indeed a hero, a man of exceptional
> talent, who tirelessly devotes his days to
> crafting posts to alert the world to animal
> abuse.
>
> We are lucky to have you, and more people
> should come to their senses and support
> your valuable work.
>
> Have you thought of establishing a nonprofit
> charity to fund your important work?
>
> Have you thought about holding a press
> conference so others can learn of your
> highly worthwhile and significant work?
>
> In closing, my only suggestion is that you
> try to keep your messages short for most
> readers may refuse to read a long message
> even if it is from the wise, heroic Puppy
> Wizard.
>
> I wish you well in your endeavors.
>
> --Marshall Dermer
> Marshall Dermer/Associate Professor/
> Behavior Analysis Specialty/Department
> of Psychology/University of Wisconsin-
> Milwaukee/Milwaukee,WI 53201
> der...@uwm.edu
> http://www.uwm.edu/~dermer
> --------------------------------------
All truth passes through three stages.
First, it is ridiculed.
Second, it is violently opposed.
Third, it is accepted as being self-evident.
-Arthur Schopenhauer
"Thank you for fighting the fine fight--
even tho it's a hopeless task,
in this system of things.
As long as man is ruling man,
there will be animals (and humans!)
abused and neglected. :-(
Your student," Juanita.
"If you've got them by the balls their hearts
and minds will follow,"
John Wayne.
The Amazing Puppy Wizard. <{}TPW ; ~ } >
Moen
<ThePupp...@EarthLink.Net> wrote:
> HOWEDY Moen,
Ok, I couldn't be bothered to read your huge post. Could you summarize
it in, say, one sentence?
Phorse 5
He should get a bitch.
Luc Teh Pervrse
news:4131a421$1...@news.rivernet.com.au...
I think in his haste he didn't come up with an excuse as to why the dog shit
was there.
Notice how he left that part out
-LTP
:)
The Puppy Wizard
"Luc Teh Pervrse" <luc.remo...@comcastCHANGETONET.com> wrote
in message news:0cqdnVk9D-9...@comcast.com...
Tynan Carrick
This is the dumbest thing I've ever heard. You deserve to have your
girlfriend find you like that. Go away.
--
===========================================
Reality is an illusion created by a lack of good alcohol.
Vanilla Gorilla (Monkey Boy)
<geoo...@hotmail.com> wrote in alt.tasteless.jokes in message
<cgvtl7$3pp$1...@cnn.cns.ksu.edu>:
>> This is real embarassing. I am going on a date tonight and I thought
>> I better try on some condoms to be sure I got the right ones. I put
>> one on my dick and just then my dog came into the room and began
>> licking me. That got me so aroused that I got a huge erection. So
>> huge that I cant get the condom off now. Worse yet, the condom is
>> full of dog shit and my date will be ariving any second. What should
>> I do?
>
>This is the dumbest thing I've ever heard.
Stick around for a while.
--
V.G.
Change pobox dot alaska to gci.
"I wanted a car I could run down pedestrians with. But one with a comfy ride, like a sofa on wheels." - Father Haskell
"No doubt about it, 9-11 was orchestrated by Lockheed." - *lexa 'connects the dots' 4/27/04 (cg5t80pl73d7r1s81...@4ax.com)
"Nope, Lockheed provided the cover for 9-11 due to abuses of it's system. They're guilty as charged. But ultimately it was Bechtel who concocted the
9-11 events." Alexa connects some totally different dots. 8/6/04 (n3p8h0lvp0u3tj0j4...@4ax.com)
Sarcasm is my sword, Apathy is my shield.
GP of ATJ
"Mel" <m...@atj.fag.com> wrote in message
news:igh1j0ti8e79utrui...@4ax.com...
> On Sat, 28 Aug 2004 09:10:08 -0600, "Luc Teh Pervrse"
> <luc.remo...@comcastCHANGETONET.com> wrote in message
> <wvCdnXL5jrI...@comcast.com>:
> >"edens rand mair fheal greykitten tomys des anges" <mair_...@yahoo.com>
> >wrote in message
news:mair_fheal-1739F...@corp.supernews.com...
> >> In article <Xns95516...@alaska.local>, Gactimus
<gact...@xrs.net>
> >> > This is real embarassing. I am going on a date tonight and I thought
> >> > I better try on some condoms to be sure I got the right ones. I put
> >> > one on my dick and just then my dog came into the room and began
> >> > licking me. That got me so aroused that I got a huge erection. So
> >> > huge that I cant get the condom off now. Worse yet, the condom is
> >> > full of dog shit and my date will be ariving any second. What should
> >> > I do?
> >> who knows? maybe santas little helper will actually find it a turn on
> >If so, I would advise staying away from that girl
>
> actually it's a reindeer.
you wouldn't know what one looks like fag boy.
This guy goes into a second hand car dealers looking for a new car,
he sees a salesman and asks him for some advice. 'Certainly Sir' the
salesman answers. 'Have a look at this 1988 mini, only 70,000 miles
on the clock, a bargain at 500 pounds'. The guy looks at the car and
replies, 'Yes, but I would like something a bit better.' The salesman
answers 'Ok, have a look at this 1990 Ford Escort, 50,000 miles on
the clock and only 1000 pounds'. The guy still isn't satisfied and says
'That's ok, but haven't you anything more classy'. The salesman leads
the guy to the far corner of the dealership where there is an old 1981
Austin Princess. 'Have a look at this beauty, 100,000 miles and a
gift at only 4000 pounds'. '4000 pounds?' replies the guy 'but the other
two cars were lots better'. 'Ahh, didn't you know' says the salesman
'you can find parts of a Princess in a Mercedes!'
>
> --
> smash yer modem, reboot, kill yerself
> Mel the Defiler
> member, ATJ regs
> webmaster of atjfag.com
> http://www.atjfag.com/
Proprclr
Check, and make sure your you-know-what isn't trying to hold the
condom on. If it is, slap it in the head a couple times. If it dosen't
let go, squeeze it's dome. That usualy forces it to comply.
qSilent Queue
"Proprclr" <bala...@yahoo.com> wrote in message
news:cb8bd93a.04090...@posting.google.com...
>> huge that I cant get the condom off now. Worse yet, the condom is
>> full of dog shit and my date will be ariving any second. What should
>> I do?
>
> Check, and make sure your you-know-what isn't trying to hold the
> condom on. If it is, slap it in the head a couple times. If it dosen't
> let go, squeeze it's dome. That usualy forces it to comply.
don't beleiev this eguy. he is jsut trying to get you to play with your
knob.
-- qSq
The Puppy Wizard
"qSilent Queue" <qsil...@yahoo.com.au> wrote in message
news:2pnktmF...@uni-berlin.de...
your weight in hell
... do you speak from experience???
beelzibub
ps;
is it true???
your weight in hell
>>... try poking a whole in it with a pin to lrt the air, ifit works save that condom for use latter.
beelzibub
ps;
antipopulationcontrolrwe
Phorse 5
>
> Stick around for a while.
which NG?
Vanilla Gorilla (Monkey Boy)
<dapho...@yahoo.com.au> wrote in alt.tasteless.jokes in message
<4141E593...@yahoo.com.au>:
>"Vanilla Gorilla (Monkey Boy)" wrote:
>>
>> Stick around for a while.
>
>which NG?
It doesn't really matter.
you're going straight to hell
> On Fri, 10 Sep 2004 19:34:11 +0200, Phorse 5
> <dapho...@yahoo.com.au> wrote in alt.tasteless.jokes in message
> <4141E593...@yahoo.com.au>:
>
>
>>"Vanilla Gorilla (Monkey Boy)" wrote:
>>
>>>Stick around for a while.
>>
>>which NG?
>
>
> It doesn't really matter.
anyone can dee.
... well, close ...
nothing really matters
anyone can see
nothing really matters
nothing really matters
to meee
(anyway the wind blows)
> --
> V.G.
>
> Change pobox dot alaska to gci.
> "I wanted a car I could run down pedestrians with. But one with a comfy ride, like a sofa on wheels." - Father Haskell
>
> "No doubt about it, 9-11 was orchestrated by Lockheed." - *lexa 'connects the dots' 4/27/04 (cg5t80pl73d7r1s81...@4ax.com)
>
> "Nope, Lockheed provided the cover for 9-11 due to abuses of it's system. They're guilty as charged. But ultimately it was Bechtel who concocted the
> 9-11 events." Alexa connects some totally different dots. 8/6/04 (n3p8h0lvp0u3tj0j4...@4ax.com)
>
> Sarcasm is my sword, Apathy is my shield.
Hungreey to eat ewe
On Thu, 26 Aug 2004 10:25:35 -0400, Gactimus <gact...@xrs.net> wrote:
>This is real embarassing. I am going on a date tonight and I thought
>I better try on some condoms to be sure I got the right ones. I put
>one on my dick and just then my dog came into the room and began
>licking me. That got me so aroused that I got a huge erection. So