Re: I disagree.
Organ of Pain
> Who wants self-awareness? Not I.
>
> Who wants consciouness? Not I.
>
> Who wants...well, the rest? Not I.
Sometimes I don't make it to the bathroom in time and I poop a little
bit in my pants. It's usually no more than a tablespoon full or so so,
but still it is a bit discouraging at times.
didymos!
>
> Sometimes I don't make it to the bathroom in time and I poop a little
> bit in my pants. It's usually no more than a tablespoon full or so so,
> but still it is a bit discouraging at times.
Only being able to manage a tablespoon of poop can be quite a
discouraging -- and I daresay emasculating -- problem.
You might try eating more fiber, in order to give your movements more
substance. Alternatively, wearing close-fitting underpants can be
restrictive, effectively allowing you very little space in which to
make your deposit at the Fruit Of The Loom National Bank. Try wearing
looser undergarments, and you might find it easier to drop an
ice-cream-scoop-sized dookie without breaking stride.
--Didymos!
Otto Bahn
"didymos!" <andypant...@gmail.com> wrote
I did! I did!
This guy is a rank amateur. Scroll to the top of:
or
http://makeashorterlink.com/?J2CC1368D
--oTTo--
didymos!
Otto Bahn wrote:
>
> This guy is a rank amateur. Scroll to the top of:
>
> http://groups.google.com/group/alt.snuh/browse_thread/thread/8daf83e5e4136b63/1cc286a27e73a14e?lnk=st&q=&rnum=2&hl=en#1cc286a27e73a14e
>
> or
>
> http://makeashorterlink.com/?J2CC1368D
Ick.
I respect a person's right to defecate in his or her own pants, but
that right ends about the time that they decide to drop a deuce next to
me in the produce section.
Question: Would a pyromaniacal coprophiliac get turned on if you left
a flaming bag of dog crap on their doorstep?
--Didymos!
Otto Bahn
>> This guy is a rank amateur. Scroll to the top of:
>>
>> http://groups.google.com/group/alt.snuh/browse_thread/thread/8daf83e5e4136b63/1cc286a27e73a14e?lnk=st&q=&rnum=2&hl=en#1cc286a27e73a14e
>>
>> or
>>
>> http://makeashorterlink.com/?J2CC1368D
>
> Ick.
>
> I respect a person's right to defecate in his or her own pants, but
I know what you mean, but "respect" is not quite the
right word here.
> that right ends about the time that they decide to drop a deuce next to
> me in the produce section.
He so needs to be in the laundry detergent aisle!
> Question: Would a pyromaniacal coprophiliac get turned on if you left
> a flaming bag of dog crap on their doorstep?
*Dog* crap?! Coprophiliacs think your kink is not okay.
I suppose there could be some coprophiliacs who are into
bestiality too, but jeez, that's just disgusting!
--oTTo--
Organ of Pain
> Question: Would a pyromaniacal coprophiliac get turned on if you left
> a flaming bag of dog crap on their doorstep?
>
I'm guessing that in the case of dog crap the answer would be in the
affirmative (depending on the breed of course).
Cat poop on the other hand would have to be out.
Cat poop is nasty.
Otto Bahn
Gareth
Your dog has a refined palate.
didymos!
>
> Cat poop on the other hand would have to be out.
Cat poop is a bad idea, no matter which hand you have it on.
--Didymos!
Otto Bahn
>> Cat poop on the other hand would have to be out.
>
> Cat poop is a bad idea, no matter which hand you have it on.
Clap! Clap! Clap...what the...? o gross.
--oTTo--
David DeLaney
>> > affirmative (depending on the breed of course).
>> >
>> > Cat poop on the other hand would have to be out.
>> >
>> > Cat poop is tasty.
>>
>> MyDogFYPFY.
>
>Your dog has a refined palate.
http://www.pvponline.com/archive.php3?archive=20060801
http://www.pvponline.com/archive.php3?archive=20060802
Dave
--
\/David DeLaney posting from d...@vic.com "It's not the pot that grows the flower
It's not the clock that slows the hour The definition's plain for anyone to see
Love is all it takes to make a family" - R&P. VISUALIZE HAPPYNET VRbeable<BLINK>
http://www.vic.com/~dbd/ - net.legends FAQ & Magic / I WUV you in all CAPS! --K.
Ljutefisk Geist
Mark_As...@Markple.com says...
What is the smell of one hand clapping?
David DeLaney
>Mark_As...@Markple.com says...
>> "didymos!" <andypant...@gmail.com> wrote
>> >> Cat poop on the other hand would have to be out.
>> >
>> > Cat poop is a bad idea, no matter which hand you have it on.
>>
>> Clap! Clap! Clap...what the...? o gross.
>
<ideogram><ideogram #2><different ideogram>
Otto Bahn
>> >> Cat poop on the other hand would have to be out.
>> >
>> > Cat poop is a bad idea, no matter which hand you have it on.
>>
>> Clap! Clap! Clap...what the...? o gross.
>
> What is the smell of one hand clapping?
Smegma.
--oTTo--
Jim McManus
I crapped my pants on two separate occasions at the same Mongolian BBQ
place (Bali-Hai).
Actually on the second time it happened at Borders bookstore about 1/2
hour after eating at the Bali-Hai.
That place has great food but every time I eat there it geeshes right
through me.
I hate crapping in my pants.
didymos!
Jim McManus wrote:
>
> I hate crapping in my pants.
And yet the woman in oTTo's earlier post goes out of her way to make it
happen. In public, even. She'd be envious of your spontaneous
loaf-pinching.
I guess it's true what they say. The grass is always greener[1] on the
other side of the pants.
--Didymos!
[1] ...browner?
gorski
} I crapped my pants on two separate occasions at the same Mongolian BBQ
} place (Bali-Hai).
}
} Actually on the second time it happened at Borders bookstore about 1/2
} hour after eating at the Bali-Hai.
}
} That place has great food but every time I eat there it geeshes right
} through me.
}
} I hate crapping in my pants.
Paging Steve Crisp... Steve Crisp, please pick up the white courtesy
garden hose.
peace,
--me
--
So far in my life I have managed to avoid chile related injuries. However,
knowing you may increase my risk. --Amber
Organ of Pain
>From a grammatical standpoint, what would you do to improved upon the
following statement:
"Sometimes I don't make it to the bathroom in time and I poop a little
bit in my pants. It's usually no more than a tablespoon full or so,
but still it is a bit discouraging at times. "
??
I don't really like the way it sounds. I think there is a bit of
redundancy in the passage by using the word "sometimes" along with the
words "at times" which should be cleaned up. I removed the double "so."
I think the whole passage needs a bit more pizzazz.
Dr. HotSalt
Interpretation is everything. I infer from the last sentence that at
_other_ times, it's not at all discouraging.
Dr. HotSalt
didymos!
Dr. HotSalt wrote:
> >>From a grammatical standpoint, what would you do to improved upon the
> > following statement:
> >
> > "Sometimes I don't make it to the bathroom in time and I poop a little
> > bit in my pants. It's usually no more than a tablespoon full or so,
> > but still it is a bit discouraging at times. "
>
> _other_ times, it's not at all discouraging.
Agreed. It would seem to suggest that sometimes the author actually
finds encouragement by hanging a turd in his own trousers.
Kinda gross, but arguably less grating than Mary Worth-style
platitudes.
--Didymos!
Alan Truism
"If Gandhi can drink his own urine, why can't I eat my own poop?!" ~
Oscar Wilde
Otto Bahn
>> >>From a grammatical standpoint, what would you do to improved upon the
>> > following statement:
>> >
>> > "Sometimes I don't make it to the bathroom in time and I poop a little
>> > bit in my pants. It's usually no more than a tablespoon full or so,
>> > but still it is a bit discouraging at times. "
>>
>> Interpretation is everything. I infer from the last sentence that at
>> _other_ times, it's not at all discouraging.
>
> Agreed. It would seem to suggest that sometimes the author actually
> finds encouragement by hanging a turd in his own trousers.
I did not ascertain any sense of encouragement. Rather, it sounds
to me as if he were only occaisionally discouraged -- at the loss
of bowel control, one would hope, for he could have been discouraged
by when or where he lost bowel control instead of the fact that
he lost bowel control at all.
Another important but unanswered question concerns the unit of measure,
a tablespoon, which now leaves me wondering about the consistency of
his poop. Is it runny diarhea, solid poop, or somewhere in between?
That he chose a liquid unit of measure tends to indicate that is not
solid, but one cannot rule out the thought of him mushing a solid turd
into a tablespoon and/or leveling it off with a butter knife.
> Kinda gross, but arguably less grating than Mary Worth-style
> platitudes.
Quite, though I do think he should work on his composition style if he
wants to say what he means to say instead of just meaning what he said.
But then, I had a second major in English, so one might argue that I
just have a Fish to fry.
Good day sir,
--oTTo--
Jana
>>From a grammatical standpoint, what would you do to improved upon the
> following statement:
>
> "Sometimes I don't make it to the bathroom in time and I poop a little
> bit in my pants. It's usually no more than a tablespoon full or so,
> but still it is a bit discouraging at times. "
>
> ??
>
> I don't really like the way it sounds. I think there is a bit of
> redundancy in the passage
Yes, and obviously quite a bit more than a teaspoonful.
--
A noise annoys an oyster
Dr. HotSalt
> "didymos!" <andypant...@gmail.com> wrote
>>>>>From a grammatical standpoint, what would you do to improved upon the
>>>>following statement:
>>>>
>>>>"Sometimes I don't make it to the bathroom in time and I poop a little
>>>>bit in my pants. It's usually no more than a tablespoon full or so,
>>>>but still it is a bit discouraging at times. "
>>>
>>> Interpretation is everything. I infer from the last sentence that at
>>>_other_ times, it's not at all discouraging.
>>
>>Agreed. It would seem to suggest that sometimes the author actually
>>finds encouragement by hanging a turd in his own trousers.
Negating a negative (applying not/non to "discouraging") doesn't
necessarily imply the positive (encouraging). Engrish can be somewhat
ambiguous at times.
> I did not ascertain any sense of encouragement. Rather, it sounds
> to me as if he were only occaisionally discouraged -- at the loss
> of bowel control, one would hope, for he could have been discouraged
> by when or where he lost bowel control instead of the fact that
> he lost bowel control at all.
Concur. The first sentence begins with "Sometimes I don't make it to
the bathroom in time...", so one could infer a non-discouraging instance
of pants-pooping would be when not on the way to the bathroom.
> Another important but unanswered question concerns the unit of measure,
> a tablespoon, which now leaves me wondering about the consistency of
> his poop. Is it runny diarhea, solid poop, or somewhere in between?
I have a quadriplegic friend who tells me he prays for diarrhea.
> That he chose a liquid unit of measure tends to indicate that is not
> solid, but one cannot rule out the thought of him mushing a solid turd
> into a tablespoon and/or leveling it off with a butter knife.
Indeed. I have run into similar problem in following recipes that
call for a liquid measure of a semisolid substance, frinst butter. Am I
supposed to just scoop some off the end of the stick with a tablespoon
and use it like that, or level it off afterward, or melt it and fill a
genuine stainless-steel-comes-in-a-set tablespoon? Good thing sticks of
butter come in calibrated paper wrappers so I can use my precision chainsaw.
>>Kinda gross, but arguably less grating than Mary Worth-style
>>euphemisms.
IFYPFY.
> Quite, though I do think he should work on his composition style if he
> wants to say what he means to say instead of just meaning what he said.
I'm not quite sure what you mean by that. Do you mean that he knew
what he meant but was incapable of expressing it unambiguously, or that
he typed something without a clear meaning in mind of what he was
expressing, or what?
> But then, I had a second major in English, so one might argue that I
> just have a Fish to fry.
Oh, that explains it.
Dr. HotSalt
PS What's a good euphemism for "euphemism"?
David DeLaney
"Doily". Thanks ever so for asking!
Dave "no, that IS with an L" DeLaney
rickthecockroach
Ljutefisk Geist
manical...@hotmail.com says...
> The fact that this thread is still active irks me to no end.
I disagree.
Bill McCray
Why do you think it doesn't irk him?
Bill
----------------------------------------------------------------
Reverse halves of the user name for my e-address
Otto Bahn
>> Another important but unanswered question concerns the unit of measure,
>> a tablespoon, which now leaves me wondering about the consistency of
>> his poop. Is it runny diarhea, solid poop, or somewhere in between?
>
> I have a quadriplegic friend who tells me he prays for diarrhea.
I have an nonplegic me who wishes to not know why. However,
"Praying for diarrhea" would be an excellent name for a punk
band.
--oTTo--
Alan Truism
Isn't Smegma a make of fine hand built guitars?
David DeLaney
>Ljutefisk Geist <ljut...@yahoo.com> wrote:
>> manical...@hotmail.com says...
>> > The fact that this thread is still active irks me to no end.
>>
>> I disagree.
>
>Why do you think it doesn't irk him?
Is it that you think it doesn't irk him that's confusing?
Dave "unhappy MACNAM" DeLaney
pete
You're thinking of Epitome and the Epiphany brands,
but they were bought out by Gibson in the 1950's.
--
pete
Otto Bahn
>> > >> >> Cat poop on the other hand would have to be out.
>> > >> >
>> > >> > Cat poop is a bad idea, no matter which hand you have it on.
>> > >>
>> > >> Clap! Clap! Clap...what the...? o gross.
>> > >
>> > > What is the smell of one hand clapping?
>> >
>> > Smegma.
>> >
>>
>> Isn't Smegma a make of fine hand built guitars?
>
> You're thinking of Epitome and the Epiphany brands,
> but they were bought out by Gibson in the 1950's.
Hand guitar: have a nice day, indeed!
--oTTo--
Chris McGonnell
Jeez, all he needs is a stool softener and a bowel routine! HTH.
--
Chris McG.
Harming humanity since 1951.
"My dog ate my gratitude journal." -- Paula
--
Posted via a free Usenet account from http://www.teranews.com
Dr. HotSalt
> I worked as a psychiatric nursing assistant for a number of years. We had
> a quad patient who required a daily rapidly activating enema. We'd
> administer the enema and he would crap out 24 hours worth of poop about 15
> minutes later. We'd wipe him up then he would be good to go until the next
> day.
Some peopums think quadriplegia (excellent song/album name BTW) only
involves the voluntary muscles and forget the bowels' peristalsis is run
by the autonomics. The guy I know has partial autonomic function below
the diaphragm, but he can't depend on his peristalsis working fast
enough to keep his poop moist enough to come out easily enough to not
damage his anal sphincter, hence his prayer.
Mind you he has a weird form of partial quadriplegia; he has enough
arm control to operate his car (and his _airplane_!!!) with hand
controls. According to every test his doctors administer he can't get
voluntary nerve signals to his legs, yet he can walk with those clamp-on
canes for about a city block per day. Man just don't grok the word "quit".
Dr. HotSalt
gorski
} Some peopums think quadriplegia (excellent song/album name BTW)
ITYM "Quadriphenia". HTH.
} Mind you he has a weird form of partial quadriplegia; he has enough
} arm control to operate his car (and his _airplane_!!!) with hand
} controls.
...er, yes, I think this *is* on topic, actually.
Plus, while "Quadriplegic Airplane Pilot" has way too many syllables for
a band name, it too would make a good album title.
}Man just don't grok the word "quit".
God bless him.
peace,
--me
--
I was tempted to go with the trebuchet girl. --Amber
Otto Bahn
> } Some peopums think quadriplegia (excellent song/album name BTW)
>
> ITYM "Quadriphenia". HTH.
Dangerous waters 'round here.
> } Mind you he has a weird form of partial quadriplegia; he has enough
> } arm control to operate his car (and his _airplane_!!!) with hand
> } controls.
>
> ...er, yes, I think this *is* on topic, actually.
>
> Plus, while "Quadriplegic Airplane Pilot" has way too many syllables for
> a band name, it too would make a good album title.
True dat.
> }Man just don't grok the word "quit".
>
> God bless him.
Me too.
--oTTo--
Chris McGonnell
>Alan Truism wrote:
>> On Mon, 14 Aug 2006 13:19:37 -0400, Chris McGonnell wrote:
>
>> I worked as a psychiatric nursing assistant for a number of years. We had
>> a quad patient who required a daily rapidly activating enema. We'd
>> administer the enema and he would crap out 24 hours worth of poop about 15
>> minutes later. We'd wipe him up then he would be good to go until the next
>> day.
>
> Some peopums think quadriplegia (excellent song/album name BTW) only
>involves the voluntary muscles and forget the bowels' peristalsis is run
>by the autonomics. The guy I know has partial autonomic function below
>the diaphragm, but he can't depend on his peristalsis working fast
>enough to keep his poop moist enough to come out easily enough to not
>damage his anal sphincter, hence his prayer.
I knew things were getting better the night my diaphragm muscle
started working 100 percent. Went from faintly whispering to
bullroaring just like * that, frightening the nurse.
> Mind you he has a weird form of partial quadriplegia; he has enough
>arm control to operate his car (and his _airplane_!!!) with hand
>controls. According to every test his doctors administer he can't get
>voluntary nerve signals to his legs, yet he can walk with those clamp-on
>canes for about a city block per day. Man just don't grok the word "quit".
Every quad's different. I know a guy who came out of the shock and
discovered he was a C-5 quadriplegic on his left side, with complete
return on the right. Thirty-eight years later, nobody would guess he'd
been in an accident unless he overworks and gets tired. His left side
starts going numb and to walk then he needs a cane (naturally, he has
a kickass walking stick instead).
gorski
} "gorski" <gor...@katie.ctc.net> wrote
}
} > } Some peopums think quadriplegia (excellent song/album name BTW)
} >
} > ITYM "Quadriphenia". HTH.
}
} Dangerous waters 'round here.
Wrong band, and I don't think he went by Dangerous.
Or even... Dangeresque.
} > }Man just don't grok the word "quit".
} >
} > God bless him.
}
} Me too.
}
} --oTTo--
OttO blesses the quadriplegic? Hey, oTTo, did you get some funky
silly hat that I didn't know about...?
Or are you still pretending it's the September of Four Thousand Days?
peace,
--me
--
>PS What's a good euphemism for "euphemism"? -- Dr. HotSalt
"Doily". Thanks ever so for asking! -- Dave "no, that IS with an L" DeLaney
Otto Bahn
> } > }Man just don't grok the word "quit".
> } >
> } > God bless him.
> }
> } Me too.
>
> OttO blesses the quadriplegic? Hey, oTTo, did you get some funky
> silly hat that I didn't know about...?
I like to play God.
--oTTo--
Tony Cooper
<sme...@NOkey-net.net> wrote:
>I knew things were getting better the night my diaphragm muscle
>started working 100 percent. Went from faintly whispering to
>bullroaring just like * that, frightening the nurse.
A few months ago I fell off the roof when working at home alone. Just
after impact I couldn't move and couldn't breathe. I suppose less
than a minute passed, but it was like a long reel of film unwinding in
which a saw myself as completely paralyzed.
When that first gasp of breath came, it was a remarkable feeling. I'd
just had the wind knocked out of me. Some minor damage, but I was up
and walking around in minutes. That first minute or so, though...
--
Tony Cooper
Blustering from Orlando, Florida
gorski
} "gorski" <gor...@katie.ctc.net> wrote
I had another joke here, but it might come too close to revealing
oTTo's Super Sekrit Identity as Clark Kent, Mild Mannered Reporter
for the Chicago Fun-Times or something.
Oops, I wasn't supposed to reveal that... pay no attention to the
Libertarian behind the curtain.
So I'll skip that one. I'm sure there's a joke about Bheer here
instead...
peace,
--me
who's really been enjoying a good Irish red lately.
...A beer. Get your mind out of the gutter.
--
Wanting McDonalds instead of all those tasty meats off a sword...
thats just unmanly --teiwazfinal
Otto Bahn
> } > } > }Man just don't grok the word "quit".
> } > } >
> } > } > God bless him.
> } > }
> } > } Me too.
> } >
> } > OttO blesses the quadriplegic? Hey, oTTo, did you get some funky
> } > silly hat that I didn't know about...?
> }
> } I like to play God.
>
> I had another joke here, but it might come too close to revealing
> oTTo's Super Sekrit Identity as Clark Kent, Mild Mannered Reporter
> for the Berkely High Times or something.
IFYPFY.
> Oops, I wasn't supposed to reveal that... pay no attention to the
> Libertarian behind the curtain.
I am not a hippy!
> So I'll skip that one. I'm sure there's a joke about Bheer here
> instead...
How does a quadripalegic put on his beer goggles?
With a STRAW! HAW! HAW!
Wait, I misplet "tongue".
> who's really been enjoying a good Irish red lately.
Speaking of Red...
> ...A beer.
Oh, well, good thing you aren't drinking Killian's.
> Get your mind out of the gutter.
But why?
--oTTo--
Kevin S. Wilson
wrote:
> god made man
> but he used the monkey to do it
> apes in the plan
> we're all here to prove it
> i can walk like an ape
> talk like an ape
> i can do what a monkey can do
> god made man
> but a monkey supplied the glue
ITYM,
Monkey To Man
by Elvis Costello
A long time ago, our point of view
Was broadcast by Mr. Bartholomew
Now the world is full of sorrow and pain
It’s time for us to speak up again
You’re slack and sorry
Such an arrogant brood
The only purpose you serve is to bring us our food
We sit here staring at your pomp and pout
Outside the bars we use for keeping you out
You’ve taken everything that you wanted
Broke it up and plundered it and hunted
Ever since we said it
You went and took the credit
It’s been headed this way since the world began
When a vicious creature took the jump from Monkey to Man
Every time that man struggles and fails
He makes up some kind of fairytales
After all of the misery that he has caused
He denies he’s descended from the dinosaurs
Points up to heaven with cathedral spires
All the time indulging in his base desires
Ever since we said it
He went and took the credit
It’s been headed this way since the world began
When a vicious creature took the jump from Monkey to Man
Big and useless as he has become
With his crying statues and his flying bomb
Goes ‘round acting like the chosen one
Excuse us if we treat him like our idiot cousin
He hangs up flowers and bells and rhymes
Hoping to hell that someone’s forgiven his crimes
Fills the air with his pride and his praise
He’s a big disgrace to our beastly ways
In the fashionable nightclubs and finer precincts
Man uses words to dress up his vile instincts
Ever since we said it
He went and took the credit
It’s been headed this way since the world began
When a vicious creature took the jump from Monkey to Man
--
"Danked," the past participle of "dank", is used to refer to someone
who replies to his own post on an online forum posing as another person
(see "Internet sock puppet") but forgetting to change his username . . . .
This was an act of stupidity meriting a name of its own, and because the hapless
contributor's username was Danks, the term "dank" or "danked" emerged.
-- http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Danked
Alan Truism
> On Mon, 14 Aug 2006 13:19:37 -0400, Chris McGonnell wrote:
>
> a quad patient who required a daily rapidly activating enema. We'd
> administer the enema and he would crap out 24 hours worth of poop about 15
> minutes later. We'd wipe him up then he would be good to go until the next
> day.
What fucking google user gave me ONE star for my enema story?!!! My
enema story is worth at least 3 fucking starts!
ASSHOLE!!!!
Hatunen
<alan....@yahoo.com> wrote:
>What fucking google user gave me ONE star for my enema story?!!! My
>enema story is worth at least 3 fucking starts!
That would seem to depend on what sort of fucking you like to do.
If you like fucking that resembles an enema ...
>ASSHOLE!!!!
Precisely.
************* DAVE HATUNEN (hat...@cox.net) *************
* Tucson Arizona, out where the cacti grow *
* My typos & mispellings are intentional copyright traps *
Alan Truism
rickthecockroach wrote:
> The fact that this thread is still active irks me to no end.
Who started this thread anyway?
Jennie
Otto Bahn wrote:
> "Praying for diarrhea" would be an excellent name for a punk
> band.
'The Natural Rock Formation' is a lot better.
Jennie
imbibe@mindspring.com (David Polewka)
Jennie was sweet. Dri-ver's seat.
.
.
--
Otto Bahn
>> > "Praying for diarrhea" would be an excellent name
>> > for a punk band.
>>
>> 'The Natural Rock Formation' is a lot better.
>
> Jennie was sweet.
She always "smiled" for the people she'd meet.
--oTTo--
Come what may...