A Calendar of Holidays for the Next Millenium
Santa Bear
December 30th. One of the agenda items is to select the paid holidays for
next year. This will come in handy.
"BuktiMukti" <bukti...@aol.com> wrote in message
news:19991219212510...@ng-fr1.aol.com...
> For many years, I conducted a secret <snip>
BuktiMukti
myself, which took me to dark corners of university libraries and laundromats
all around the world. I had been searching for certain esoterica: holy (and
some unholy) days and festivals which have for millennia been celebrated out
of sight of ordinary mortals. I entrust you with them now. Do not share them
with those whom you deem unable to appreciate them. Some of them-I don`t know
which-bear a curse. They are now in your hands. You are now one of The
Sentinels of Esoteric Knowledge. Keep the Knowledge well, upon your very
soul...
tuU
A CALENDAR OF HOLIDAYS, ca. 1968
JANUARY
1. New Year’s Day
2. Be Sick at Work Day
3. Annual Toadstool Festival
4. Prejudice Day
5. Annual Riot of Left-Wing Bird Watchers
6. Twelfth Night
7. Tournament of Skunk Cabbages
8. Fourteenth Night
9. Bluebeard’s Wedding Anniversary
10. Kick a Cocker Spaniel Day
11. Nurse Your Cocker Spaniel Bites Day
12. Drink More Rice Beer Day’s Eve
13. Drink More Rice Beer Day
14. Night of the Marvelous Elephant Tusk
15. Cribbage Team Appreciation Day
16. Take a Gnat to an Oculist Day
17. The Kallikak Family Reunion
18. Wall owers’ Rally
19. Smoo’s Barn Dance
20. Don’t Day
21. Kayak Safety Day
22. Alligator Wrestling Matches
23. Gala Accordion Festival
24. Autogyro Day
25. Octuplets’ Convention
26. Knish Night
27. Annual Flooding of Lizard Creek
28. Fold an Origami Squid Day
29. Anniversary of the Scranton Sirens Orchestra
30. Tonawanda Marble Tournament
31. Plaid Day
FEBRUARY
1. Colonel Bogey’s February March
2. Groundhog Day
3. Bluebeard’s Wedding Anniversary
4. Fright Wig Night
5. Buy Doilies Now If You’re Planning on Making Your Own Valentines Day
6. Be Kind to Ragweed Day
7. Watusi New Year
8. National Wear Baggy Knickers Day
9. Convention of Kazoo Choruses
10. Bluebeard’s Wedding Anniversary
11. Schultzmas
12. Lincoln’s Birthday
13. Rotten Day
14. Valentine’s Day
15. Corliss Gorky’s Taffy Pull
16. Return Your Neighbor’s Lawn Mower Day
17. Armadillo Season
18. Festival of Egret Feathers
19. Annual Preparation for Bock Beer Season
20. National Consult Your Astrologer Day
21. Hysteria Night
22. Washington’s Birthday
23. Birthington’s Washday
24. Harp Stringer’s Strike
25 Anything But That Day
26. Marvin Only’s Statue Unveiling
27. Search for the 8 2/3 Hat
28. Grandma Grock’s Eyelash Curl
MARCH
1. Take More Seasick Pills Day
2. Dairy Farmer’ Spilling Bee
3. Sacri ce to the Gods of Stagnant Water
4. Quicksand Day
5. Thick Day
6. Celebration of Conch Shells
7. Frederick the Great’s Clean Handkerchief Day
8. Feast of the Aardvark
9. Speak More Esperanto Day
10. Annual Mourning for Running Boards
11. Bluebeard’s Wedding Anniversary
12. One Month After Lincoln’s Birthday
13. Grow Your Own Eggplants Day
14. Competition of Banjo Choirs
15. Sloth Day
16. Conley’s Annual Garter Pull
17. Kumquat Lovers’ Convention
18. Make Your Own Mosaic Mailbox Day
19. Pour Beer in Vesuvius Day
20. Bat Cave Cleaning Day
21. First Day of Spring
22. Disappointment in Spring Day
23. Kyle Knight’s Kite Flights
24. Arabian Sheiks’ Annual Tent Creep
25. Why Day
26. Why Not Day
27. Be Kind to Bandicoots Day
28. The Mootle Twins’ Annual Half-price Avocado Sale
29. Butter y Net Weavers’ Picnic
30. Lint Day
31. Gockle, Kentucky’s Annual Jack-O-Lantern Disposal
APRIL
1. April Fools’ Day
2. Madam Groong’s Annual Seance
3. The Isham Fried’s Follies
4. National Clean Your Aquarium Day
5. Cross Country Yak Races
6. Bluebeard’s Wedding Anniversary
7. The Prattville Witch Hunt and Picnic
8. Beaver Dam Dedication Ceremonies
9. Artichoke Festival
10. Rickshaw Rally
11. Coronation of the Lard Queen
12. Quadley’s Yo-Yo Competition
13 Hedgehog Day
14. Night of the Blue Moon
15. Uncles’ Day
16. Gnome Elections
17. Thoth’s Birthday
18. The April Rejuvenation of Jackal Mattresses
19. Anniversary of the Battle of Oxus
20. Sousaphone Day
21. Festival of Tattooed Spats
22. Drink a Toast from a Moustache Cup Day
23. Cecil Clurd’s Mah Jongg Victory
24. Laying of the Cornerstone of the Falfurrias, Texas Mosque Anniversary
25. Don’t Be Half-Safe Day
26. Arnold Farouk’s Polar Bear
27 Twenty-Seven Skiddoo Day
28. Bluebeard’s Wedding Anniversary
29. Think Nice Thoughts About Porcupines Day
30. May Eve
MAY
1. Flex Your Muscles Day
2. Clean Up After Maypole Dances Day
3. Remembrance of Vess Ossman
4. Good Gnus Day
5. Be Tolerant of Werewolves Day
6. The Feast of Smoo’s Groong
7. Three Cheers for Girdles Day
8. Annual Ball Joint Makers Convention
9. Eat Oysters Anyway Day
10. Parade of the Samoan Canoe Carvers
11. Parsley Festival
12. Flea Circus Opens
13. Paramecium Day
14. Monocle Festival
15 Bluebeard’s Wedding Anniversary
16. Rutabaga Day
17. Spring Bagpipers’ Conclave
18. National Honor Our Sundial Manufacturers Day
19. Made in Japan Day
20. Anniversary of the First Record Made by King Mutt and His Tennessee Tooters
21. Uncle Juan’s Annual Haircut
22. International Toad Show
23. The Annual Nose Cone Polish
24. National Arm Garter Day
25. Knees Need Kneaded Erasers Day
26. Homage to the Green Baboon
27. Gala Funnel Comparisons
28. Be Able to Distinguish Bactrian Camels From Dromedaries Day
29. Funny Hat Night
30. Fuzzy Bunny Festival
31. Perique Tobacco Fancier Annual Chain Letter
JUNE
1. The Angus Annual Fly Flick
2. Tweed Festival
3. Night of the Phony Ink Blot
4. Gathering of Petri ed Forest Rangers
5. Goblins Can Be Fun Day
6. The Groan, Kansas Parsnip Fair
7. Rhinoceros Day
8. Aunt Hortense’s Elephant Training School Graduation
9. Ant Farm Harvests
10. Day of the Seventh Tibia
11. Teakwood Toothpick Time
12. The Guam Fossil Finding Contest
13. Dogma Days
14. Paeans to Paraf n Day
15. Rites of the Giant Toad
16. Cactus Exhibit
17. Gorkle’s Graham Cracker Dusting
18. Quinge Day
19. Bluebeard’s Wedding Anniversary
20. You-Know-What Day
21. First Day of Summer
22. Caterpillar Hunt
23. The Wunch Family Musicale
24. Captain Gar e's Hooked Day
25. Paper Mache Sculptors’ Workshop
26. Flemming’s Genius Anniversary
27. Whew! Day
28. Intemperance Day
29. Feast of the Plaid Tiger
30. Watermelon Seed Spitting Contest
JULY
1. July Fools’ Day
2. Satyrs’ Picnic
3. Stock Up On Red Pop Day
4. Independence Day
5. Witch Doctors’ Ice Cream Social
6. Foomsy Winkle’s Annual Grasshopper Leap
7. Festival of the Marvelous Garbage
8. Eat More Guava Jelly Day
9. Colonel Grapevine’s Boll Weevil Stomp
10. Tracy’s Great Giraffe Sale
11. Printers’ Devils’ Weed Growing Contest
12. The Runk Kids’ Chicken Gizzard Fight
13. Quoo’s Corkscrew Yank
14. Night of the Chartreuse Contact Lenses
15. Get Ready for Tomorrow Day
16. Gnomes Gnight
17. Tug-of-War with Stretch Socks
18. Be Kind to Sponges Day
19. Holiday for Headhunters
20. Middle of the Borscht Circuit
21. Bring an Anteater to Your Picnic Day
22. International Flintlock and Cowrie Exchange
23. Grink’s Sale of Used Bustles
24. Independence Day in Greenland
25. Offender’s Day
26. Feast of the Boiled Thoom
27. Picnic of the Perseids
28. Homage to the Turquoise Crocodile
29. Mauve Day
30. Anniversary of the First Locomotive to Run on Sterilized Guanaco Teeth
31. Hot Day
AUGUST
1. November Third in Cambodia
2. Bluebeard’s Wedding Anniversary
3. Why Not Try Boston Baked Coffee Beans Day
4. Settling of the Fluoride Controversy with Spitballs
5. Festival of Jug Bands
6. Deadwood Day
7. Convention of Fringe Cutters
8. The Massive Ironing of Rhinoceros Wrinkles
9. Triplane Races
10. J. Russell Cogwell’s Visiting Day
11. Martin’s Fingernail Trim
12. August Tarantula Duels
13. Use More Semicolons Day
14. Toasts to Termites
15. Goldenrod Fiesta
16. Galley Slave Sales
17. Parade of the 97-pound Weaklings
18. Mourning for the End of Summer Camp
19. Weak sh Season Opens
20. Anniversary of the Failure of The First Space Ship
21. Garlic Salt Festival
22. Quigley’s Bon re
23.Dinosaur Day
24. Cuba Libres With Puerto Rican Rum
25. Convention of the Egyptian gods
26. Cowardly Young Indians’ Powwow
27. The Gluckholm Gala Viking Helmet Polishing
28. Autoharpists’ Song Fest
29. Dash Burkis’ Drum Tightening Day
30. The Brisbane Bierfest
31. Animal Rummy Championship Tournaments
SEPTEMBER
1. Condition Your Kids for School Day
2. Idleness Day
3. Indian Simmer
4. The Annual Wurkis Bubble
5. Afternoon of the Lacy Battleship
6. September Jelly Bean Rolls
7. Annual Swiss Bell Ringers’ Concert
8. Colorado Pete s Rejection Slip Burning
9. Inside Humor Day
10. Miff Frink’s Day to Use a Trombone Mute
11. Dirigible Races
12. The Annual Martian Canal Free Swim
13. Make a Lamp From Old License Plates Day
14 Good Gosh Day
15. Gordon’s Annual Elephant Madness
16. The Ides of Gwoon
17. The Great Haggis Feast
18. Equal Rights for Men Day
19. Anniversary of the First Electric Bass Drum
20. The Stirring of the Swizzle Sticks
21. Galoshes Day
22. The Giant Used Light Bulb Collection
23. Pasiphae’s Second Honeymoon
24. The Annual Tumble Bug Pageant
25. Make a New Enemy Day
26. Fiesta of the Fat Chamois
27. Muss Kwud’s Ballet Recital
28. Opossum Day
29. Anniversary of the Morton Gleckle Monument
30. Feast of the Asteroid Belt
OCTOBER
1. Snail’s Day
2. Markle’s Private Celebration
3. Bluebeard’s Wedding Anniversary
4. Afternoon of a Fawn
5. Teabag Festival
6. Use More Goose Quill Pens Day
7. Fiesta of the Ninth Gwab
8. Four Days After Rutherford B. Hayes’ Birthday Party
9. Ogres’ Gathering
10. Night of the Frumious Quzzle
11. International Cajoling of Dragon ies
12. Columbus Day
13. Cincinnati Day
14. Gashouse Gang Pancake Supper
15. Department Stores’ Christmas Decoration
16. Pigiron Day
17. Anniversary of Peace Between Andorra and Lichtenstein
18. Knight Rupert’s Dragon Fight
19. Cliggle’s Ecator Click
20. Old Spanish Custom Day
21. Sunbathing Season Ends
22. Rites of the Knix
23. Four Leaf Clover Hunt
24. Fifty-fourth Day of the Oyster Season
25. Helium- lled Balloon Day
26. Anniversary of the First Incubator Hatching of Manta Ray Eggs
27. Night of the Notable Noodle
28. Frozen Celery Day
29. Buy Your Pumpkin Day
30. Birthday of the Perfect Woman
31. Halloween
NOVEMBER
1. All Saints Day
2. Most Saints Day
3. Some Saints Day
4. Coronation of the Caboose Queen
5. King Kong’s Fourth Edict
6. Bluebeard s Wedding Anniversary
7. Peroxide Your Moustache Day
8. Anniversary of the Founding of the Leaf Hopper Spittle Savers Society
9. Ostrich Ranchers’ Winter Retreat
10. Walla Walla Echo Day
11. Massive Chipmunk Hunts
12. Anniversary of the Completion of the New York Subway
14. Miami and Orlando Ventriloquist’s Convention
15.Wart Hog Day
16. Cutworm Hibernation Deadline
17. Yellow Journalism Day
18. Change of Shows at Foom’s Dime Museum
19. Parade of the Wooden Clothes
20. Civet Cat Gathering
21. Curing of the Tropic of Cancer
22. Uncle Tom’s Cabana Bee
23. Pivot Tooth Day
24. Beeswax Festival
25 Riot of the Dirty Old Men
26. Annual Sideburn Pageant
27. Anniversary of the Articles of Anarchy
28. Omar Khyaham’s Annual Grin
29. Flap Day
30. Toad Hall’s Doorsill Painting
DECEMBER
1. Afghan Knitter’s Gathering
2. Do-Something-Real-Dumb Day
3. Regret It Day
4. Gala Thumbprint Festival
5. Third Day of Preeple
6. Grackle Day
7. The Snowcat Drivers’ Ball
8. Throw a Peachpit at a Chihuahua Trainer Day
9. Duck Day
10. Yipe Fiesta
11. The Annual Blindfolded Parcheesi Tourney
12. Day of the Great Mickle
13. Procrastinators’ Rites of Spring
14. The Turning Off of Air Conditioning at the Wax Museum
15. Cooperative Saxophone Reed Changing
16. Pinz Nez Lens Wipe
17. Chickenfat Collection
18. Get Excited Because It’s Almost Christmas Day
19. Be Kind to Commuters Day
20. Tharp’s Ribbon Tieing
21. First Day of Winter
22. Rites of the Giant Mistletoe
23. Start Being Nice to Mother Day
24. Tom and Jerry Night
25. Merry Christmas
26. Boxing Day
27. Be Kind to Department Stores Day
28. Wear a Svelte Belt on the Veldt Day
29. Annual Decoration of Moose Antlers
30. Rizal Day
31. New Year’s Eve
***
Cheers,
Leonard
Superb online shopping;
superb income opportunity:
http://www.excelir.com/xlsa
"Unless a woman has an amorous heart, she is a dull companion." --Samuel
Johnson (1790-1784) 223
PATIDU
>all around the world. I had been searching for certain esoterica: holy (and
>some unholy) days and festivals which have for millennia been celebrated out
>of sight of ordinary mortals. I
Leonard,
LOL. I loved it. I had to print a copy so that I was sure to be doing the
right thing on the right day.
You have been very busy getting all of the holy and unholy das right.
Thank you Leonard, I find out that my birthday is Snail's Day. I guess I got
to go and eat snails. They might not be happy about it but I will be.
Irene
Baukje/Bonnie
>Thank you Leonard, I find out that my birthday is Snail's Day. I guess I got
>to go and eat snails. They might not be happy about it but I will be.
My birthday appears to be Bluebeard's Wedding Anniversary. So what
will I do?
Baukje
Voor reacties via e-mail de eerste b weglaten.
Baukje/Bonnie
What would be your advice to this friend of mine who has his birthday
on February 29? He was going to celebrate it in 2000, you see--one of
the few opportunities he has.
Baukje
On 20 Dec 1999 02:25:10 GMT, bukti...@aol.com (BuktiMukti) wrote:
>27. Search for the 8 2/3 Hat
>28. Grandma Grock’s Eyelash Curl
>
>
>
>MARCH
>
> 1. Take More Seasick Pills Day
BuktiMukti
>the
>right thing on the right day.
>
>You have been very busy getting all of the holy and unholy das right.
>
>I got
>to go and eat snails. They might not be happy about it but I will be.
Glad you enjoyed it! Snail Day, eh...it could have been worse! ;-D
Cheers,
Leonard
Superb online shopping;
superb income opportunity:
http://www.excelir.com/xlsa
"Life's most persistent and urgent question is, What are you doing for
others?" --Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. 606
BuktiMukti
>will I do?
You get to celebrate every month! (Do you know about Bluebeard?)
Cheers,
Leonard
Superb online shopping;
superb income opportunity:
http://www.excelir.com/xlsa
"Never let your sense of morals prevent you from doing what is right." --Salvor
Hardin, "Foundation" 439
BuktiMukti
>December 30th. One of the agenda items is to select the paid holidays for
>next year. This will come in handy.
Yet *another* good use for the calendar! (Watch out though, some of them are
said to carry a curse...)
Cheers,
Leonard
Superb online shopping;
superb income opportunity:
http://www.excelir.com/xlsa
"It all boils down to this: Be good to yourself and be good to others." --Stan
Forriner 800
BuktiMukti
>on February 29?
Depends on what he's done before. I would imagine he usually celebrates on the
28th, and on the 29th, let him choose whatever holiday calls to him.
Cheers,
Leonard
Superb online shopping;
superb income opportunity:
http://www.excelir.com/xlsa
"Success is a journey, not a destination." --Ben Sweetland 46
Baukje/Bonnie
>>My birthday appears to be Bluebeard's Wedding Anniversary. So what
>>will I do?
>
>You get to celebrate every month! (Do you know about Bluebeard?)
Yes, that's why I asked...
Baukje
Blues Ma
Baukje/Bonnie wrote:
> My birthday appears to be Bluebeard's Wedding Anniversary. So what
> will I do?
Marry twenty or thirty guys real quick.
Kill the ones that bore you
Steal a few ships - crew, cargo and all.
Raid a few villages
Go shopping
Take a nap
Ma
Santa Bear
"Blues Ma" <2Blu...@mediaone.net> wrote in message > Marry twenty or thirty
Blues Ma
Ma