Poems: 140721 - July 14th, 2021

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Robert Morpheal

Jul 14, 2021, 1:09:34 PM7/14/21

That fallen through
but not knowing what
saddest of the sad
don't know why
or how we got there
sort of feeling it
coming down
a foot gone through
that seemed solid
bit of floor
to don't know how
and why it all ended
being so out of it
and must have
been something more
beyond that feeling
brought down
to pleading guilty
of feeling low
and offering
no explanation.



We were looking
in catalogues
for something to do
with the time
on our hands.

Replacing one boredom
with another
after being stopped
and forbidden
from anything else.

What else there was
was never very good
but it was a bit better
than nothing
or an ace of spades.

For the healthy enough
there was getting drunk
and getting stoned
to make it though
stretches of pass time.

We sat around
in the middle of laughter
believing we knew
what it really was
we were laughing about.

Wanting more than that
was a mortal sin
and you could be stricken
with excommunication
and rendered unforgiven.

Trying to learn
from the best experts
how to stop caring
about whatever it was
you used to care about.

Not successful enough
to graduate
into the next level
lingering in the cheap seats
and thinking too much.

When you have to leave
you leave
the same way you came
and with the same nothing
that you came with.

No one calls you
and no one looks you up
after your termination
once word gets around
as it always does.



When we cannot be
what we want to be
and don't want to be
anything that we were.

A condition of given up
on everyone
whom we used to suffer
for one reason or another.

Measures of who was who
in the doesn't like what
was or wasn't and won't
really like what would be.

No matter what it was
they did not want yours
but they wanted
for someone else's.

The have to please everyone
cannot please anyone
and always having to beg
in order to differ.

The ones we backed
who never backed us
and moving on
from that wretched state.

Where we spent ourselves
squandering our money
on vain beliefs
about what seemed becoming.

What did we chance upon
that we could become
and whatever happened
to any of our want to be.

Left exchanging pleasantries
with random strangers
knowing it all adds up
to the same nothing.

Life is like that
and if you don't like it
you can leave
is the stock answer.

You can always quit
and no one is forcing you
to keep going at it
in some vain belief.

They kept you dreaming
about success
reinvented, redefined
as a sort of endless rework
of the same rejections.

Given any shape
that it can be beaten to
it is the same garbage can
others throw things into.

Their technique
is the thing to watch for
because that differs
according to what they want.



There are those who believe
in the next lifetime
and there are those who don't
really believe anything at all.

It is in the newspapers
it is on the radio
and sometimes you can find it
talked about on TV spots.

Sublimated sex
and all that setting loose
of pent up aggression
for coach Sigmund Freud.

It fills up the time slots
between what you did
and what you shouldn't do
on your impulse spend.

Some know how
to talk the talk
even walk the walk
believing that they have to.

You won't ever be anyone
if you fail to find the answer
while playing Jeopardy
and Truth or Consequences.

Some claim they can
do it all again
because they got it wrong
the first time around.

It really does depend
on what you get to afford
and everyone isn't
created equal in any sport.

Maybe that next lifetime
will turn out better
getting carbon copied
in a mimeograph machine.

Clunkety, clunkety clunk
putting out the same ink blots
to be puzzled over
by perturbed analysts.

Star clusters
riding in those limousines
ferries of the unobtainable
along happy trails.

The one and the many
hiding in plastic forests
pretending to be the trees
all get felled the same.

You might not know
any of the real differences
because you are so inattentive
to the fine details.

One good blot
deserves another
as it gets smeared out
as a wet paint smile.

Don't do this
and don't say that
is the new learning program
can fill an entire life.

The audience doesn't know
what they are watching
but they believe it
in one way or another.

Don't take it personally
because it was only a rumour
that everyone else believed
meant to ruin your day.

Have to believe something
when the salesman calls
trying to sell you a future
you never thought you wanted.

He gets a cut
for every sale he makes
and to get rid of him
you have to buy in.

Somewhere down stream
from a boy meets girl crush
along that solitaire turnpike
of no one but yourself.

Some go shopping
for matching sex organs
as if those are refrigerators
or automobiles.

Their appliances come
with decorator features
and various options
to impress the guests.

Their lives begin and end
with who gives a fuck
and they take it as literally
as the meat in sandwiches.

Rub a dub dub
you came too late
to get past the drunks
and no one wants sincere.

Window dressing
on a clothes horse frame
can't find your shoes
to actually get away.



The symptoms subsided
in the course of two days
letting me come back
to the same mess I was.

Just another diagnosis
for which there is no cure
failing to bargain it down
to a simple case of blues.

Been stuck on the island
in some other's storm
always throwing it out
at what isn't really there.

Thought it would be better
than it ever really was
and once it has gone wrong
it is never right again.

Nothing ever does
really straighten out
once it is bent that far
and it can never go back.

Don't have the strength
for that much effort
and no one is coming
to meet me half way.

Perfect isn't very special
but it didn't find me
in that misdirected sequence
of a strung along life.

If I saw you on the street
I wouldn't know your name
and I would be afraid
of being nothing you want.

So it tends to go
no matter how it goes
down different ways
of hiding the lonely.

We are hiding the lonely
in endless different ways
just hiding the lonely between
a beginning and an end.



The Sun is out
and I can blame that too
for a flagrant condition
of persistent denial.

I deny me
and you deny you
as part of the process
of denying each other.

What we need
and what we don't need
is a perpetual argument
about light and shade.

Never found out
any easy way
that disappears into
what the light brings.

It plays on things
all about wanting
that world you live in
past a wall and fence.

Guess I am the shade
you cannot handle
gone to dark in a corner
of a shunned world.

My eyes see you
but you are blind to me
nothing bright and shiny
to trap a wandering gaze.

The Sun is out
and I am behind a cloud
a darker shade
than I was before.


Maybe a bit of the blues rubbed off on me, that time around. Just a bit somewhere in there and whatever it was I cannot seem to wash or scrub it off. It just simply won't come off.

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