Adventures With the Drooling Gay Korean Guy
Shelton Lee Bumgarner
Ahssa! Editor
So we got paid Tuesday and decided to head to Boopyon for no damn
reason.
As is often the case in Korea the evening did not really go as we had
planned.
We had imagined it going something like this -- go to Goose Goose,
shoot some pool and return to our warm bed on the last train headed
towards our home.
So we get to Goose Goose and start hanging out with a few Korean folks
who are enjoying the free pool the bar provides.
The Ahssa! staff was enjoying itself, shooting painfully bad pool as we
are wont to do.
By the time the game is over, the Koreans announce that we're going to
go to a noraebong. I announced equally loud that we were broke and that
any money expended beyond this point would not come from any of us.
They said don't worry about it, which is cool.
So we go.
One of the Koreans obviously knows the owner of the noraebong, 'cause
Soju kept looking at the clock and didn't see an movement as though we
were actually being metered.
At some point in the evening, we left the noraebong and went for galby
that's not really galby but called something like duck galby or some
such.
It was really good.
Soon after our group sat down at the restaurant, this really weird,
creepy and amusingly effeminate fellow** saddles up to our table, and
asks if he can sit with us.
Being the nice folks we are, we say yes.
Now, it wouldn't be so bad if he acted in any way something akin to
what we would construe as "normal," but he didn't -- he spoke very,
very softly and at one point some sort of gray goo began to drip from
him mouth. "Uh, I don't think you should drink anymore, big guy," Coy
said.
But wait, it gets even more amusing -- as we remember it, the drunk
gay* Korean guy turns around and starts bothering a large group of
young Korean guys sitting right next to us. One of those Korean guys
slides across to us and asks, "Do you know this guy?"
To which we said, "Uh, no."
After this point, things get fuzzy.
I remember Coy spent a lot of time explaining why the United States was
a better place to move to than Canada. He used two soju bottles to
explain the difference between "diversity" and "the melting pot."
Things get even more blurry after this -- we remember a taxi ride home
and quick trip to a P.C. Bang (bong) and waking up just in time for
work the next day.
*We don't know he's gay, but all the Koreans assumed he was. "I think
he's gay," said one of our new Korean friends, rolling their eyes.
** We don't care what his actual sexual orientation was. It's no big
deal, it's just someone acting like that is so rare in Korea and his
behavior was pretty funny, regardless.