The Great Ramen Ruse
Shelton Bumgarner
Migukin Editor
The battle of wits began the moment I went into the school's kitchen
to put hot water in my evening's ramen. Tony and one of his
lieutenants pounced on me. They really, really wanted some of my
ramen.
"TEACHAAAAAAA," Tony said.
Tony has a high pitched voice that he often uses to talk at the top of
his lungs, even if the topic in question would better be served by an
"inside voice." I may at this point demanded Tony give me some of his
dry ramen.
Which, in hindsight, was a mistake.
As you may - or may not - know, dried ramen still in its package with
the spice all mixed in is considered something of a delicacy among the
six-year-old set in Korean hagwons. It didn't take me long to realize
they were right - dry ramen with the spice all mixed in rocks. The
only evil teacher thing I've ever done is demand that any food I see
kids walking around with, I get a cut. I'm often too hungry and too
tired - or don't have enough time - to go down stairs to get something
to eat. And dried ramen is something I most frequently get from my
kids - I love that stuff.
Tony and his friend then followed me to the big round table in the
school's main room. I settled down for ramen and an IH-T, hoping they
would leave me alone.
They didn't.
Then, suddenly, everything changed. Instead of demanding I give them
food, Tony all but begged me to eat his dry ramen. Thinking nothing of
it, I started chowing down.
I relaxed, let down my guard and turned my attention to my raman and
IH-T.
That's when they struck. I felt a wave of chopsticks run slipshod over
my body on their way to my ramen. Ramen water splashed everywhere. I
whipped my head over in Tony's direction in sheer amazement at his
adult-like duplicity and promptly burst out laughing.
His raman ruse has got to be one of the funniest and unexpected things
I've experienced since I came to Korea. The idea that a six-year-old
(or at least someone obviously under 10) would have the forethought
and the guile to think up such a crafty plot is bust-a-gut funny to me.