'The Maiden'
Shelton Bumgarner
A movie pitch by Shelton Bumgarner
Thinking back over the last few decades, one thing we really haven't
had is a good over-the-top fantasy movie like Legend or Labyrinth.
This movie, "The Maiden," would sort of scramble - and yet update -
the ancient legend of Persephone.
Now, I'm tempted to do just a straight hyper realistic re-telling of
the story (Persephone gets abducted by Hades, blah blah, blah.) But,
the story is so damn complicated and so potentially difficult to
illustrated faithfully that it probably is better to go the following
direction. This movie would have elements of "What Dreams May Come,"
virtually any Charlie Kaufman movie, virtually any Martin Scorsese
film and, I dunno, the kitchen sink.
The movie starts off with New Year's 2012. Much like several other
movies have done before, The Maiden takes the ancient story of
Persephone and not only updates it, but modernizes it for the needs of
the modern audience.
One thing American audiences love is a woman acting like a man, and by
extension, saving a man. So, the movie starts off like a direct update
of that myth, with a bit of "Modern Problems" thrown in.
"Oh Fortuna" is playing as we fade in, so people know they're in for a
dark movie.
See, a guy, played by Leonardo DiCaprio is just fooling around in his
New York City apartment, smoking some weed, waiting for the ball to
drop. The people on TV keep babbling on about how 2012 is the end of
the Mayan "Long Count" calender and what does it all mean.
Well...the ball drops and nothing happens.
The next day, strange, subtle things begin to happen to the guy. He
starts to think maybe he is losing is mind. He feels like he can
change reality simply by thinking about it. He keeps these fears to
himself, though. Soon enough, we meet his cute as a button girlfriend,
played by Natalie Portman. Lots of stuff that is a direct allusion to
the Persephone myth is going on at this point, but I don't feel like
filling in the details.
We establish they're, in fact, in love. Maybe something happens that
shows that the guy really loves his girl and would do anything for
her.
One day, the two of them are walking in the park. When, what should
happen but they strike up a conversation with a regular old guy. He's
a nice enough guy.
To make an extremely long story short, the guy's Hades. He abducts The
Maiden. Hero finds the entrance to the Underworld. We get to see some
really cool shots of a hyper-realistic depiction of the Greek myth of
the underworld.
Blah blah blah...
Hero does not save maiden, but gets trapped as well. Ex girlfriend of
hero, played by Rosario Dawson, decides to save hero and his
girlfriend.
After lots of spooky, scary, fantasy horror stuff she does.
the end.