RRRR: The ASP Week in Review - 12/13/02 - 12/20/02
Rev. Melissa Robitille
Hello Dear Ones!
What a week it has *been*! The kids are looking forward to watching NORAD's
Santa Tracking, and of course The Workshop has been positively buzzing with
activity. Not that the usual hum was an unpleasant sound, but things do tend
to kick over into over-drive 'round The Workshop close to Christmas time.
More on that later, though.
ASP has had a merry week, well, for the most part anyway!!! It's rather like
a family Christmas part - drunken crazy Aunt Betty will always technicolor
the turkey, and Dad will likely get into a not-altogether-*ALL*-friendly
bout of fisticuffs with Uncle Richie, but all in all the rum balls are good,
the eggnog is better, no one's daft enough to eat the fruitcake ( though its
presence is required for some odd reason ), and a good time is had by all.
ASP Operation Smoke Across the Water was a roaring success, shipping 61
pipes and a 'whole mess' of other assorted pipe goodies to the good men (
and I should hope the women-folk too! ) of the USS Nassau, and quite an
incredible amount of money has been raised for the ship's Morale fund. I
still ( though privately, for the most part ) say that the good folks of ASP
should send recordings ( in whatever format ) of themselves displaying their
extraordinary entertainment talents to the crew of the USS Nassau - true, in
some cases a serious effort at something not meant to be funny might be met
with gales of laughter, but Lord knows they could certainly use something to
laugh about, right? For my family's part, while we couldn't contribute to
Smoke Across the Water, nor could I indulge my fondness for tobaccos and
thus bolster the Morale fund, Craig's supplying us with the Captain's e-mail
address did provide my children with a learning experience and a solid hour
of fun - they composed notes to the captain and crew of the USS Nassau. :D
Daniel was positively *eloquent* ( I'm so proud ), and the girls blathered a
goodly bit ( Tammy gushing, Emma going on and on about *machines* ), but
hopefully it'll lift some spirits. Personally, I think it's probably better
for my little people than it is for the crew, but what person is unmoved by
an out-of-the-blue Christmas greeting from a little kid?
Bear continues to update us on the fabulous progress of the ASP Cancer
Computing team, on the simply *astounding* PIF figures - absolutely amazing!
Remember, though, PIF needs pipes and decent pouches, and *POSTAGE* funds,
folks. In addition, I'd agree - hey Bear, give that theater manager a pipe!
The Favorite Christmas Carols thread resulted in some *wildly* varied
responses - everything from the 'I HATE Christmas Carols' folks to my own 3
choices to Handel's Messiah.
Mark Shelor's question about having no cake at the bottom of his newer pipes
led to some interesting suggestions, but the deal seems to be that cake
forms very likely from steam given off by tobacco and tobacco ash, thus, if
one stirs vigorously towards the bottom of the bowl that steam escapes, and
the tobacco ash will not 'stick'.
Marvel comics seems to have garnered the most votes.
By and large those weighing in on the political persuasion thread seem to be
libertarian in leaning, though many describe themselves as conservative...
Two votes for the Constitution Party ( including mine ), though I must say
that I depart with them towards more libertarian views on some things and
more conservationist in others.
#alt.smokers.pipes seems to be in fairly regular attendance again... And,
while your intrepid reporter is a *smidgie* busy being Santa's Official
Delegate and Southern Workshop Chief Manufacturer, I may try mIRC again at
some point just to sit and chit-chat with 'my boys'.
Interesting thread on the image of pipe smokers - as regarded by cigar
smokers. Well *honestly*, why would anyone care *what* a cigar smoker ( or
anyone else, for that matter ) thinks? That seems to be the general
consensus, and a good one, I think. *chuckle* Lord knows it's *MY* opinion,
so it must be right! :D *chuckle*
That's not some arcane pipe tool Tolkien's using in that Allen Lee
painting - it's a burning bit of kindling ( whether it be a 'cedar shake' or
a bit of straw, it's small, it's burnable, it's kindling. ).
Man of Steel and Velvet - well, Bernie, for the most part a man who acts
Biblically is by far a more attractive husband... For example, it's *nice*
that my Dana is in charge of and ultimately responsible for our family (
blasted hard to follow a parked car ), it's nice that he knows more about a
good deal of 'stuff' than I do so I can ask him if I want to know...
However, some Biblically-based theories of marital relationships are
inherently flawed. The idea, for instance, that one's wife should be an
utter doormat, submit in all things, and never *ever* teach her husband
*anything* is utter BS. Submission is *submitting* all that you have and
are - thereby making the family decisions made by one's husband rather more
of an anthology than a collection of short stories by one author. And, for
goodness sake, the idea that a man should never, ever, ever learn *anything*
from a woman is just preposterous! Worse yet, I can't imagine what will
happen to that 'tow the line' Biblical argument when a homeschooling mom
confronts highschool age sons! Silliness. However, all that said, it's much
nicer to have a husband who'll stand up to you than to have a shaggy door
mat.
Please, for the sake of my sanity, do *not* dry out and re-hydrate your
'biting' tobaccos with water and Xylitol... *shudder* Look, if you're
going to do something really BIZARRE and probably DANGEROUS to your pipe
tobacco, why not douse it with Olessa - then you can turn your pipe *and*
your nether regions into a flame torch... *shaking head in horror* I
cannot *believe* the things you boys think up to put in your tobacco...
Don't touch my tobacco!!!
Random's been monkeying around with his wrenches... Random, why not look
up patents on tools and see if it's 'been done' - if it *hasn't* that you
can find, *THEN* look for a patent attourney.
My vote on that ASP Tamper Contest went to #11 - the one from something
called 'Crushed Cranberry'. I like the color ( it *is* red ), I like the
lines, and I like the non-clunky tamping thingumabobby. What, you expect me
to know the technical name for it???
'Scottish mixture' seems to be a marketing term more than anything else,
though it's *supposed* to contain Virginias, Latakia, and Cavendish I
believe. However, many tobacco manufacturers are calling just any old thing
they make and dump a 'wee dram' on top of Scottish, so beware and read those
labels!
Vile Nygren's made his first post with us - my advice... Don't smoke
Dunhill's Nightcap. Foul, nasty, impossible-to-light cranky-person-making
stuff. MacBaren's Navy Flake is nice, though...
Ian's pasties... Okay, all right, I *won't* go there... as for 'what's
cooking', I got a crockpot for an early Christmas present, and thus far I've
made beef stew, meatballs-and-beans soup, and ham, cheese and broccolli with
rice... And now that Dana's brought home a whole pork tenderloin from work
( Nooooo, they couldn't just get hams like normal to give to the employees,
they had to be *weird*! Good thing I've got a ham and two turkeys in the
freezer already... ) I'm thinking of an interesting recipe a friend of mine
gave me - had Merlot in it, though, and I really detest Merlot... Still,
it's not as if I'd put 2 cups of *decent* wine in the crockpot until I know
what it'll *do* in there...
George D. Putnam has had his book "The Honey Bubble" published, thereby
joining the ranks of published ASPers including at *least* myself and
Raleigh ( Raleigh Perry's article on the Barbary War will be in the Marine
Corp's newspaper )... Hm. Maybe that would make a good new thread -
published authors speak up!
Frenchy got his Estelle and has sent it in for repair by now...
Ken Dixon advises those of you with your names still up on the SETI team to
remove your names if you've switched your computers over entirely to the ASP
Cancer Computing team. I concur - while fighting cancer is a here-and-now
real-life issue, gents, it's common courtesy to let the folks at SETI know
you've dropped out.
Mark Tinsky's e-mail is temporarily on the fritz, but he has received word
of the words of praise for young Glenn's pipes from the 16th's issue of
Today's Work. I'll concur with those words and say that I really *LIKE*
that bent billiard.
Tom Bombadil is older. Geesh. If you'd read the books you'd *know* that -
Fangorn isn't as old as the oldest *trees*, even he says so, and Bombadil's
older than the trees, therefore, Bombadil's older - goofier too, but that's
besides the point. What *I* wonder is how old is his *wife*! I mean, are we
talking about a negligible age difference, or *what*? And if we're talking
about Bombadil finding love only recently in terms of his life span, well,
that *would* explain the goofiness, wouldn't it?
In "The Gangs of New York" thread - thank you Robert Donelly. I don't care
for movies existing for the sole purpose of showing people getting shot,
blown up, stabbed, burned, maimed, or whatever else those Man Movies are
showing this time. No plot. And I bet it's a clay.
In computer woes... Apparently this week hasn't been good - Bear, Mark, and
Buzz all - at the very least - have had computer 'issues'.
Some nice reviews posted for Tyler Lane pipes, Ligne Bretagne pipes, and
others...
Women and pipes - it's sort of a determination the woman herself has to
arrive at; encouraging a woman who doesn't want to smoke a pipe to smoke one
is rather like trying to herd cats.
Terry Davey ( see, there you are ) is 'settling in' as best he can in a
little apartment close to his job - I think he misses his wife and
daughters, quite naturally, but as soon as a new house is found and the old
one sold I'm sure they'll all settle in quite happily to a more enjoyable
family togetherness.
Dennis Williams is not, after all, going to be laid off - *phew*, right? :D
Ask Trever some France FAQ questions - hey, he *asked*!
Stephen Gresso rejoins us after, as predicted, spending his first few months
in his new home mainly inhabiting hardware stores.
Ooooh... Nasty row going on over Tom Mueller's Ebay Alert... *sigh* I
would've said 'so don't buy from him', but apparently Mr. Mueller felt
compelled to leave negative feedback on *another* auction he had dealings
with with Mr. Judd Perl about Mr. Perl's less than complete answers to
e-mailed questions. *sigh*
dano ( a newbie ) asks what the 'real live' risk of oral cancer is - the
answer, no one knows. What you need to find the answer - the risk of a
non-smoker for getting oral cancer, which is stated in statistics as '1'.
The risk of a pipe-smoker for getting oral cancer, which would be stated in
statistics as 1.x or 2.x or whatever. To get *those* you need to know how
many non-smokers in a given population size get oral cancer, and how many
pipe smokers in the same size population get oral cancer. However, no one
will TELL you these things, because then you might blow off the 'increased
risk' as minimal to non-existant.
Random, if you're clenching a pipe and hit something and your airbag goes
off in your face, the airbag will drive your pipe into your face - you'll
probably lose some teeth, possibly poke a big gaping hole in your palate,
and there's always the potential for it simply getting rammed down your
throat and lodged in your airway. Is it any wonder I'm scared to death of
new cars? Geezum, they're thinking of all sorts of new and inventive ways to
kill people off...
Mark J. Adamcik's pipe-smoking uncle Kenneth passed away... A bowl in his
honor, Mark.
briant711... You have no idea how *LOUDLY* I howled with glee at your
search for the elusive beeswax. *snicker* There's sewing stores, feed
stores, and of course any bee keeper... I'm guessing that *you* live in the
city... *ROFLOL* :D Hehe...
That's about all for ASP this week...
On the Robitille home front...
Dana's last day of work for the year is tomorrow, so I'll have him home
'till nearly mid-January... This is a GOOD thing... Hey, most communication
gets done during these lay-offs; the rest of the time we're too pooped to
talk! :D
Daniel is doing well with his schoolwork, and wrote quite a nice e-mail note
to the Capt. of the USS Nassau. However, he and his sisters are *grounded*
for some major-stinker behavior.
Tamara and Emma are doing well with their schooling, and there is much
pouting in Mudville over the 'unfairness' of grounding.
Isaac is doing quite nicely, and has been announcing all of the toys he
absolutely expects to find 'Unna inka-inka ree' ( under blinka-blinka
tree )... Pik, Wog, Eeep, Oot, Oose, Ow, Orf, Nooniorn, Flebalus, Vwagon,
Uck, Ed Ber, Moof, Ine, Ger, Weebwa, Fwan... ( pig, frog, sheep, owl,
goose, cow, horse, unicorn, pegasus, dragon, duck, hen, moose, lion, tiger,
zebra, swan... ) The kid wants a menagerie.
Gracie's growing and getting to be such a big girl now... And of course,
into as much mischief as her little self can get to. Right now the *fire
extinguisher* and the computer cords hold the most allure to her, followed
quickly by a computer keyboard and Isaac's medical equipment.
As for me... My sewing room has become North Pole Workshop South...
*sigh* Almost done, really I am - 1 stick horse left for Daniel, baby dolls
for the girls, various stuffed animals for Grace and Isaac, and I'm done.
The doll clothes I'm making for pay are coming along swimmingly - the
Christmas dress has been duly shipped off - bloomers, slip, matching hat,
and all. THAT was an adventure, let me tell you! Never mind, trust me, you
don't want to know... Suffice it to say that it was a high-waisted number
with fully lined velvet bodice, velvet leg-o-mutton sleeves, satin collar,
perfectly matched plaid taffeta skirt, pleated satin trim beneat the skirt
to look like an under-skirt, and a matching hat of velvet with satin piping
and a satin rosebud... we won't even get into the embroidery and other
'added features'... It's a good thing I'm being paid VERY well for these...
And this has been...
The ASP Week in Review for 12/13/02 - 12/20/02
Rev. Melissa 'Red Rev' Robitille