Itching and Peeing - my two enamies!
iDRMRSR the Reclined Mastar
to scratch a horrendas butt itch so severe it woke me up out of a sound
sleep.
If it wasn't for itching and peeing, I'd STILL be asleep now.
What will Obama do about this?
One thing I could do is not sleep in my Levis. For one thing, the cloth is
so leathar like no amount of scratching on the surface gets through to the
tendar parts. For anothar, so sweaty, I think it makes you grow itchy red
bumps on the heiny-ho in just a few hours.
For a third, it kind of creates an impenetrabal barriar for your farts,
which must then flow up to the waistband, or down along the thighs, which
just feels all wrong. But at this time of year, they are warm.
What's a SubGenius to do.
[*]
-----
Ouroboros Rex
Fremen Smellsuit.
It's basically a micro-sandwich - a high-efficiency filter and
heat-exchange system. The ass-contact layer's porous. Flatulent gases pass
through it, having warmed the body ... near-normal evacuation process. The
next two layers . . . include heat exchange filaments and fart
precipitators. Dung's reclaimed. Motions of the body, especially breathing
and some peristaltic action provide the pumping force. Reclaimed water
circulates to catchpockets from which you draw it through this tube in the
clip at your neck... Methane and hydrogen sulfide are processed in the thigh
pads. In the open desert, you wear this filter across your ass, this tube in
the anus with these plugs to ensure a tight fit. Breathe in through the
mouth filter, out through the nose tube. With a Fremen suit in good working
order, you won't lose more than a thimbleful of combustibles a day
Rev. Back It On Up 13
Re: Itch. Cheek? Or hole?
If cheek, ditch trou. Problem solved.
If hole, I have no advice for you except maybe bring a pointed stick
to bed with you, or one of those bottle brushes sold in the baby aisle.
iDRMRSR the Reclined Mastar
If cheek, ditch trou. Problem solved.
If hole, I have no advice for you except maybe bring a pointed stick
to bed with you, or one of those bottle brushes sold in the baby aisle.
<<
Actually, I do keep one extra long Chinese backscratchar reclinarside.
Sometimes I end up having to wash it the next day. But as long as I can
reach the itch without getting up, it's OK. I can get right back to sleep.
But sometimes it's in the TAINT area, the one marked with yellow and black
stripes that says AUTHORIZED PERSANS OANLY - SPECIAL TRAINING REQUIYARED -
PROFESSIANAL USE OANLY. You know, where no man has gone befoar.
That makes me have to get up, drop the trou, and squat. Then I have to push
out of the way whatevar gravaty has caused to drop. Pretty dramatic stuff
at 3:45 AM.
But them Chinese backscratchar enganeers are right up there on my list of
praiseworthy humans:
1. The woman that had the secand baby evar.
2. The first persan who evar ate an oystar.
3. The Chinaman who designed the backscratchar.
[*]
-----
Rev. Back It On Up 13
wrote:
Oanly iDRMRSR could tell a detailed stoary of an Old-Fashianed-Middle-
Of-The-Night-Taint-Scrape without making me lose my will to carry on
living.
One time my grandmother called me at work to tell me in EXTREME detail
about the effect that a recently eaten "nut log" (wtf is a nut log?)
had on her bowels. My gorge responded violently to this news from my
oan grandmother! But iDRMRSR tells me he keeps a special wand for
midnight rectal exploratory digs in his living room, and I'm all "Aww,
charming!"
iDRMRSR the Reclined Mastar
Back long befoar you were born there was this chain of rest stop places
called Stuckey's. You still see them here and there if they havan't
completely fallan down. They had this kind of Jetson's swept roof design,
all white and teal.
http://www.georgiaencyclopedia.org/nge/Multimedia.jsp?id=m-8588
There usually weren't any McDonalds around then. Sometimes they were next
to Howard Johnson's.
Stuckey's sold nut logs. Peculiar turd shaped candy itams. I think their
big specialty was PECAN LOGS. Some kind of sticky stuff, the white kind of
taffy, was rolled in crushed nuts and maybe caramel or molasses and formed
into a turd shape. Evarybody CLAIMED to love them, but this was just a
transparant excuse to mask the folly of being forced to eat at a Stuckey's
because mankind wasn't sufficiantly evolved to provide moar advanced food
opportunaties near the interstate exits.
And as I recall, moast peopal that ate them eventually complained of getting
the runs, which made auto traval back in those days very interesting indeed.
http://www.confusereviews.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/08/Stuckeys7.jpg
Well, thank you anyhow for bringing this memory back to me. It's a
refreshing change from the usual discussian around here of tits and bacon,
not that there's anything wrong with that.
[*]
-----
Rev. Back It On Up 13
wrote:
Please add Nut Log Shits to the official approved topic list. For
that matter, ANY unusual shits as a result of novelty nostalgia
foods. Like, candy ribbon shits. Pez shits. Lik-m-aid Shits. All
that stuff is acceptable for debate on alt.slack!
Rev. Back It On Up 13
> On Mon, 4 Jan 2010 12:56:15 -0800 (PST), "Rev. Back It On Up 13"
>
> <eviel...@aol.com> wrote:
> >Lik-m-aid
>
> Jew detected.
>
> ========================================http://www.imbjr.com
HA. I had to think about that for a second.
Not so, IMBJR. Watch this trick:
GOD!
JEHOVAH!
THE LORD!
YAHWEH!
Lik-m-aid (lick 'em aid) is a flavored sugar in paper envelopes that
you eat by wetting a stick (made of solid sugar) with your mouth, and
dipping it into the powder. Also called Fun Dip. Poison Death for
you and me, but fun for fat little frantic children.
High Mistress Inquisitor Pisces
>
> - Show quoted text -
Boo Berry Cereal.
Rev. Back It On Up 13
>
> - Show quoted text -
Rainbow Droppings!
High Mistress Inquisitor Pisces
Fun Dip! Oh my...
So years ago, I had the worst gall bladder ever, and no insurance. I
was forced to remove nearly all fat from my diet in an effort to stop
the pain and spasms.
This left me with very few candy options.
Cotton Candy
Sweet Tarts
Fun Dip...
Ect...
Fun Dip was a pleasure. It came with 3 packets of slackcocaine powder
and a dipping stick. Supposedly you were to lick the dipping stick and
place it in the slackcocaine powders.
But what most folks do is pour the powder down the gullet like a giant
pixy stick and eat the stick.
The stick has a flavor unlike anything else. I still couldnt tell you
what it tastes like.
Rev. Back It On Up 13
>
> - Show quoted text -
It tastes a little like milky chalk, with a slight hint of antacid.
Not sugary sweet. Milky and bland and pleasant, with crunch, so it
does not compete with the tangy sugar. I would eat an entire railroad
car if it were made out of Fun Dip sticks.
I never did swallow the packets whole. I always tried to use the Lik
Stick until it started getting stumpy (guess I got a little
overzealous suckin' on it) before gobbling that powder. Our ice cream
man sold it. I have always found ice cream men extremely creepy and
unnerving and it's probably because of wares like Fun Dip.
Rev. Richard Skull
wrote:
I cannor remember ever seeing a Stuckeys at an Interstate Interchange.
I can only remember seeing them along the old US Highways.
Delaware's Only Stuckeys is now a Contractor's office.
The only Stuckeys I know of that is still open in Port Royal, Va. on
US 301. I'm sure there are s few open elsewheres in "Da South!"
Doktor Dark
Well, when y'all wants to get yer shit together, PECAN LOG ROLLS are
still sold at Cracker Barrel chain restaurants. There's one in Erie,
20 minutes from Brushwood. Get some to strap on to fuck somebody in
the ass with at Xday, & then just leave it there, up their ass.
That'll beat any Pecan Log Roll turd story.
Rev. Back It On Up 13
>
> - Show quoted text -
BEST IDEA EVER.
Who wants me to fuck them up the ass with a pecan log roll? Sign up
now!!
Doktor Dark
Mmmmm... prostate massage with a pecan log roll! YOU SEE THE OFFER.
SIGN UP & LINE UP, BOYS!
Paul Jamison
"Rev. Richard Skull" <msh...@verizon.net> wrote in message
news:c93824b1-275c-4736...@33g2000vbe.googlegroups.com...
=====================================
Stuckey's is still around. There's apparently been a bit of a resurgence. I
tracked down their website (www.stuckeys.com, obviously enough) and they
supposedly have over 200 stores in 20 states, but nothing comes up for
Kansas and New Mexico. And they're all over the South. And there's one waaay
up in Connecticut, of all places.
You can buy pecan logs online, if that's your idea of a good time.
Zapanaz
Do I get to keep it after?
I'm hungry, I'm not a pervert!
--
Zapanaz
International Satanic Conspiracy
Customer Support Specialist
http://joecosby.com/
A kangaroo walks into a bar. The bartender says "Hey. Why don't you do
something nobody in this bar has ever seen before?" The kangaroo says
"I'm waiting for a genie." A monkey gets close to the kangaroo and says
"Give me a hundred bucks and I'll pull down your pants."
So the kangaroo says "Paint my house."
:: Currently listening to Hocus Pocus, 1997, by Vanessa-Mae, from "Storm"
Radix Lecti Artemia Salina
Get these:
http://images.teamsugar.com/files/upl1/1/13254/39_2008/main.preview.jpg
--
Artemia Salina: President of the Timothy Treadwell Memorial Petting Zoo
Radix Lecti Artemia Salina
>>>Re: Itch. Cheek? Or hole?
>
> If cheek, ditch trou. Problem solved.
>
> If hole, I have no advice for you except maybe bring a pointed stick to
> bed with you, or one of those bottle brushes sold in the baby aisle. <<
>
> Actually, I do keep one extra long Chinese backscratchar reclinarside.
> Sometimes I end up having to wash it the next day. But as long as I can
> reach the itch without getting up, it's OK. I can get right back to
> sleep.
>
> But sometimes it's in the TAINT area, the one marked with yellow and
> black stripes that says AUTHORIZED PERSANS OANLY - SPECIAL TRAINING
> REQUIYARED - PROFESSIANAL USE OANLY. You know, where no man has gone
> befoar.
NO USAR SERVICEABLE PARTS INSIDE
Dok Holocaust
<idrm...@myspace.com> wrote:
> For a third, it kind of creates an impenetrabal barriar for your farts,
> which must then flow up to the waistband, or down along the thighs, which
> just feels all wrong. But at this time of year, they are warm.
>
> What's a SubGenius to do.
you need some better sleeping-pnats. i use stuff from here
http://www.casualmale.com/store/en_US/catalog/browse_product.jsp?clear=true&catID=cat10085&id=cat10085
the fabric's weighty enough to provide some warmth, but the pants are
cut so as to provide some breathability without letting in all the
cold air. sometimes a light dusting of the interior with body-powder
(gold-bond, monkeybutt, or whatever kind you like) can help with the
itch.
Zapanaz
You void the warranty if you go in there
--
Zapanaz
International Satanic Conspiracy
Customer Support Specialist
http://joecosby.com/
Damn the posting host.
:: Currently listening to Busy Working, 1999, by Plone, from "For Beginner Piano"
Rev. Ivan Stang
>
> - Show quoted text -
I'm packing a mean pecan roll log though airport security tomorrow, in
my briefcase. We'll see how it goes though Homeland Security. I am
sure I could let it go though me easily, without its wrapper, but it
may not come out quite the SAME.
The security was so very lax coming here, before Xmas. All manner of
contraband they just waved though. Now you have to strap the
contraband deep into one-entrance orifices and hope they don't sweat
loose while the robo-tomy scanners are sniffing suspiciois drippings.
I am praying that if they spy my vial of "water samples," they don't
start trying to get me to tearfully admit to the smuggling of
BIOLOGICAL AGENTS. But it is true, I have a jar of my babies, infant
one-celled kindergarteners of the protist kingdom hoping only to
migrate to a new home in the concentration camps of a relativelt
benevolent commandant.