I Sing the SubGenius Scientist!
Rev. Susie the Floozie
all the ways we and our Church represent a superior race of mutants,
and one way in which this shines are our SubGenius OverMen of Science.
Look at them! What proud, handsome, vibrant, astute scientific Gods
they are! Their huge, throbbing, bulging brains make me weak in the
knees. I cream inside to count their numbers. My, my, are we ever
blessed, or *what*?
There are our computer men--iDRMRSR, Ankara, IMBJR, Meow, Ouroboros
Rex...and many more.
There are our men of logic, analysis, and dissertation--Stang, Rev.Dr.
LoBotomy, Dr Tater Gumfries, Zapanaz, XODDI...and many more.
And then there's Don Stockbauer. Oh, I know that he tries to act like
a total goofus around here, but take it from Sooze the Flooze, because
this is the gospel:
This sly fucker worked for years on the SPACE SHUTTLE project! He was
soaking in it all the way up until he got saddled with a shit-ass pink-
boy boss--and then he flipped all that space-age high-tech bullshit
off to go grow fucking PECANS and live life on his own terms. And I
applaud him for that, beaucoups.
That's why I love my fucking Church. Higher brain function is a total
aphrodisiac. Packing all this cerebral firepower makes us a fucking
social ARSENAL. And speaking of ARSE--? That's where *I* come in.
So we all contribute in our small-but-superior ways to our own
Subgenius Global Brain.
Selah.
CHUCKkey
I agree with this post.
But I don't love all of you enough that it's gay or anything.
Don Stockbauer
Yeah, 1978 to 1995.
Lesson learned - if your boss needs a lot of sucking up to, either do
the suck up or go somewhere else.
Hear that, Randall Tunstall; Houston, Texas?
Rev. Back It On Up 13
>
> - Show quoted text -
Just call "no homo" first, and it will be alright.
With best regards,
Rev. BIOU 13
Dr. of Misanthropology
Don Stockbauer
Weren't you "Miss Anthropology" for 2004?
Unclaimed Mysteries
Here's what they do to scientists in Alabama!
http://www.flickr.com/photos/unclaimedmysteries/4098053633/
-cls
--
It Came From C. L. Smith's Unclaimed Mysteries.
http://www.unclaimedmysteries.net
What Does A Yellow Light Mean?
http://www.unclaimedmysteries.net/blog
Rev. Back It On Up 13
>
> - Show quoted text -
I looked beautiful in my sash of human skin.
Unclaimed Mysteries
> On Thu, 12 Nov 2009 13:37:56 -0800 (PST), "Rev. Susie the Floozie"
> <revsusiet...@gmail.com> wrote:
>
>> PECANS
>
> The devil's nut.
>
For those who can't properly pronounce PEE-can.
Don Stockbauer
<theLetterKandtheNumeral4-...@unclaimedmysteries.net> wrote:
> IMBJR wrote:
> > On Thu, 12 Nov 2009 13:37:56 -0800 (PST), "Rev. Susie the Floozie"
> > <revsusiethefloo...@gmail.com> wrote:
>
> >> PECANS
>
> > The devil's nut.
>
> For those who can't properly pronounce PEE-can.
Pecan oil is highly polyunsaturated.
Don Stockbauer
I was going to stop in the Purgatory Lounge for a drink, but seeing
the shoddy way scientists are treated there, no way.
Rev. Ivan Stang
<theLetterKandtheNumeral4-...@unclaimedmysteries.net> wrote:
> IMBJR wrote:
> > On Thu, 12 Nov 2009 13:37:56 -0800 (PST), "Rev. Susie the Floozie"
> > <revsusiethefloo...@gmail.com> wrote:
>
> >> PECANS
>
> > The devil's nut.
>
> For those who can't properly pronounce PEE-can.
>
> -cls
That's how God pronounces it.
But I have a more on-topic question.
Who blows the SubGenius Scientist?
Don Stockbauer
We've got to go feed the deer right now.
Rev. Susie the Floozie
> But I have a more on-topic question.
>
> Who blows the SubGenius Scientist?
Hell, if I could get ahold of them, I'd do itmyself.
Dr. Phineas J. Martian
You're such a drip. Higher brain function? Intelligence is knowing
which end of the baseball bat to use and using it. All the folks you
named not only didn't know which end to use... they tried to put it
the same place dumbass Dean puts his coffee. They probably haven't
even NAMED their baseball bat. I have, I call it Bat. How do you like
THAT!
Rev.Dr. LoBotomy
> You're such a drip. Higher brain function? Intelligence is knowing which
> end of the baseball bat to use and using it. All the folks you named not
> only didn't know which end to use... they tried to put it the same place
> dumbass Dean puts his coffee. They probably haven't even NAMED their
> baseball bat. I have, I call it Bat. How do you like THAT!
A very predictably self-indulgent point of view. Unfortunately nobody
takes you seriously, except maybe for Jonathon[sic] Barbera. You two
should get your heads together.
Tater Gumfries
The Sooeee Tart!
Tater
Don Stockbauer
Anyone he can force at gunpoint to.
Tater Gumfries
They's slippery devils, ain't they?
Tater
Zapanaz
One of the ironic things about the Church of the SubGenius is that
it's the SANEST group I've ever found.
I mean it's a DIFFERENT KIND of sane. It's got its own craziness in a
lot of ways.
It takes a special kind of effort to be crazy the way a lot of people
seem to be. You have to go OUT OF YOUR WAY, you have to really work
at it.
Now I don't want to wear out Scientology, but in a way they are the
perfect example of what I'm talking about. They've made a Science of
teaching people to believe crazy things.
Scientologists learn to believe that L. Ron Hubbard was basically
infallible. Because the logic of it all falls apart if you don't have
that. Otherwise it's just another set of opinions about things like
mental health and psychiatry and so on.
And you just aren't going to look at L. Ron Hubbard and intuitively
say "oh there's a completly infallible man". Just the haircut alone
ruins that thought for me, I think an infallible man would have a
better haircut.
http://www.able.org/about/l-ron-hubbard/images/l-ron-hubbard_3.jpg
(I won't even mention the polka-dot ascot.)
You have to LEARN TO BELIEVE IT. It takes time and dedicated effort.
You have to teach yourself to be crazy.
And all the fucking politicals.
How many thousands of those fuckers are there out there? Every once
in a while they spill over into alt.slack, with their insane unending
arguments that go on forever and that are always getting crossposted
to 80 newsgroups at a time. Spitting and biting at each other,
covered in blood and feces, wrestling with each other, rolling into
our living room babbling about what a FUCKING BITCH THAT FUCK-BITCH
EDNA FLAN IS as if anybody would care.
But the politicals are the same way, the really fanatical
never-shut-up-about-it ones, anyway.
You just have to read one of their posts and it leaps the fuck out at
you. Complete dumbassery. The dumbassery leaps up and down, dressed
in silver lam� speedo trunks, begging to be noticed.
The swaggering cigar-chomping Rush Limbaugh fans. Flogging the same
old tired lies. Lies that anybody but another Rush Limbaugh fan sees
through like the Emperor's New Clothes.
The oil will last forever. We can do anything we want to the
environment and nothing bad will ever result from it. Wars are a
GREAT idea! (Because the enemy will always fight fair, like in the
movies, so we will win easily.) White Christian males were meant by
GOD HIMSELF to rule the world. THE SUN'S NOT YELLOW, IT'S CHICKEN.
They have to LEARN to believe it. It doesn't just happen. It's what
separates man from the lower animals; lower animals don't choose to
become stupider on purpose.
But let's not let the lefties off the hook.
Politically in debates I might tend to agree with them, at least more
often, in a lot of day-to-day issues.
But there are extreme lefties like there are extreme righties.
I'm talking about the PETA freaks. The new-age gurus. The Oprah
fag-hags. The The Secret Brethren and Sistren (the ones who know that
Quantum Physics means that everything that's wrong with your life is
REALLY because your evil [MALE!] ex-husband wasn't thinking enough
positive thoughts about you), the ones who KNOW that all a grizzly
bear really needs is a little more love and understanding and the only
reason they ever act out is because of those damned corporate fatcats
and that a bear would NEVER eat you if you show it enough love and
understanding.
And so on.
I mean, some might say, that noble, philosophical and urbane cow would
never have been born in the first place if it weren't for cattle
ranching.
But it WAS born. So wearing a leather coat is EVIL. Eating any kind
of meat is MURDER. Once that cow IS in fact born, it has the MORAL
RIGHT to as good a life as any HUMAN [MALE WHITE!] BEING! It should
get a college scholarship and a job it finds fulfilling.
If you THINK your husband or boyfriend is having an affair, HE IS!
SOYLENT GREEN IS PEOPLE!
You know. Stupid shit. Nobody just believes any of that crap
naturally. It takes EFFORT. Self-discipline.
I think SubGeniuses are less crazy because they just DON'T MAKE THE
EFFORT which that requires. Maybe you can't run away from "Bob" just
as Janor Hypercleats said, you can't run away from 'Bob" because HE'S
STUPIDER THAN YOU.
Maybe "we" are JUST A LITTLE STUPIDER THAN THEM, AND THAT'S WHY WE ARE
A THOUSAND TIMES LESS STUPID.
They believe the crazy shit they want to believe because, in their own
way, they think that thinking makes it so. So if they pull the wool
over their own eyes strongly enough, that the world just can't help
but to become what they want it to be.
Righties have the power of positive thinking and stick-to-itiveness
and all that Knute Rockne sort of thing. The lefties have The Secret.
The Scientologists have ... well ... Scientology.
And you know, don't get me wrong. I really do believe in the power of
positive thinking, maybe to the point of believing in magic.
But telling yourself something DUMBASS isn't, until you sort of
believe it, isn't magic.
It's FUCKING STUPID.
So SubGeniuses, despite their unvarying craziness, are in their way
the sanest people in the world. They won't buy off on the bullshit.
Maybe because they're a little smarter. MAYBE because we're a little
DUMBER.
It doesn't matter.
SubGeniuses are crazy because they live life the way they want to, not
to prove a point, but because they haven't bought off on the dumbass
social rules that normal people have talked themselves into believing.
And that's a sane kind of crazy.
--
Zapanaz
International Satanic Conspiracy
Customer Support Specialist
http://joecosby.com/
"Sister Agatha looked up from flat on her back, on
the mat, to see the five hundred pound, nude female sumo wrestler
descending on her, and she was forced to admit to herself that the
Pope had betrayed her."
:: Currently listening to Every Christian Lion Hearted Man Will Show You, 1967, by The Bee Gees, from "Hail, Britannia"
Rev. Susie the Floozie
> It doesn't matter.
>
> SubGeniuses are crazy because they live life the way they want to, not
> to prove a point, but because they haven't bought off on the dumbass
> social rules that normal people have talked themselves into believing.
>
> And that's a sane kind of crazy.
>
JoeCosby, if I were to hug you right now, I'd hug you so tight my tits
would pop out through my scapulae.
I love you so much it hurts.