Gentle Reminder
nenslo
return, you stupid fucking pukebrained sacks of jackal crap.
Rev. 11D Ricardo MadGello
"nenslo" <nen...@yahoox.com> wrote in message
news:411C6EED...@yahoox.com...
Rev DJ Epoch
> The greatest thing you'll ever learn, is just to love and be loved in
> return, you stupid fucking pukebrained sacks of jackal crap.
>
He's right.
...about the love and be loved thing, anyway.
He's still wrong about the stupid fucking pukebrained sacks of jackal
crap (for the most part)
Someone must have replaced his herbal tea with Folger's Crystals... I
think he noticed.
Zapanas
>The greatest thing you'll ever learn, is just to love and be loved in
>return, you stupid fucking pukebrained sacks of jackal crap.
Oh yeah right. Great. That always works out great too, doesn't it?
First they start teaching you that great lesson when you are just
brand new. Earlier than you even learn to talk they are teaching you
to love and be loved. You lay there not even able to talk and they
say I LOVE YOU LITTLE BABY and you have no idea what they mean but
they seem to say it when they are being nice so it seems to be
something important. Then you learn to talk and it becomes a mantra.
They say "I LOVE YOU" and you are supposed to say "I LOVE YOU" back
and if you don't then there is something WRONG. And they go OUT OF
THEIR WAY to choose emotionally neutral moments to say it. They don't
say it during moments of great upswelling of affection, they say it
when you are on your way out the door to go down the street or
something and it is a complete non-sequiter. That's the POINT. You
should LOVE them even when there is no reason to love them, otherwise
it's not REALLY REAL love. It's MYSTICAL. It's the GREATEST THING
YOU'LL EVER LEARN.
And they even go out of their way to introduce you to the PARADOXES of
it. When they are mad at you, they say I LOVE YOU ANYWAY. So what IS
love? Isn't it a feeling? NO! IT'S MYSTICAL! It's a MAGIC feeling.
It's a feeling you always feel even when you don't feel it.
Not that I didn't like them, my family I mean. Not that I didn't feel
affection for them, friendship and loyalty. Love seems to refer to
those qualities until you start fading into the mystical qualities of
it. Friendship, affection and loyalty. Even a sense of the other
person as having worth and value. But no, that's not good enough.
You are MISSING SOMETHING THERE. Love is like you love someone even
though you hate them, see? Why can't you get that?
It's like believing in Jesus. It's magic. You have to say it and
believe it, even though it doesn't have any specific meaning. BECAUSE
it has no specific meaning. And if you DOUBT that, there's something
WRONG with you.
Then you get laid. And she looks back at you after with big dewy eyes
and says "I LOVE YOU". But you've learned by then that if you love
someone you should want to live with them forever and ever and ever.
Oh shit.
And she looks back at you as if waiting for the password. So you bite
the inside of your cheek and say "I LOVE YOU".
And in a new sexual relationship she will say it every five minutes.
And look at you with big dewy eyes. Waiting for the pussy password.
And I think "GAH YOUR FAMILY DID THAT SHIT TO YOU, TOO"
EVERYBODY'S family did that to them. Because it's THE GREATEST THING
YOU WILL EVER LEARN.
It's not, really, that I am such a grisly cynic about the whole thing.
In as much as love seems to refer to something like affection and a
sense of the other person's value, plus a certain genuine empathy for
them. For that matter I like people in general. For better or worse
I am probably the nicest person you would ever meet. I suppose
because I can differentiate between affection and LOVE with it's
attendant implication of commitment and nest-building I have affection
for a lot of people, probably more than I would otherwise.
I'll tell you what the greatest thing I could ever learn would be,
unka nenslo, that would be to be able to RELAX. I haven't relaxed
since the late 90's and when I did the world noticed that I did and
tried to kill me. I'd like to learn how not to have to swim like a
shark because if you don't the world takes away everything you have
and shunts you off to the slave pool.
The world is not set up to keep you alive. The world is set up to
kill you. America is. That's what makes us GREAT! Isn't it cool?
The world is set up so that if you aren't swimming as hard as you can,
you DROWN. It's done that way on PURPOSE. So we'll all SWIM HARD.
Isn't it COOL?
Just show me where the boat is. Then I'll talk about the greatest
thing I ever learned.
--
Zapanas
Grand Master of the Satanic Conspiracy
http://joecosby.com/
"He may look like an idiot and talk like an idiot but
don't let that fool you. He really is an idiot."
- Groucho Marx
Rev. Ivan Stang
wrote:
> The greatest thing you'll ever learn, is just to love and be loved in
> return, you stupid fucking pukebrained sacks of jackal crap.
I know just what you mean, you hateful asshole. That near to brought
tears to my eyes. Thank you. (sniff)
--
The SubGenius Foundation, Inc.
(4th Stangian Orthodox MegaFisTemple Lodge of the Wrath of Dobbs Yeti,
Resurrected, Rev. Ivan Stang, prop.)
P.O. Box 181417, Cleveland, OH 44118 (fax 216-320-9528)
Dobbs-Approved Authorized Commercial Outreach of The Church of the SubGenius
SubSITE: http://www.subgenius.com
For SubGenius Biz & Orders: call toll free to 1-888-669-2323
or email: je...@subgenius.com
PRABOB
Cardinal Vertigo
> On Fri, 13 Aug 2004 00:34:08 -0700, nenslo <nen...@yahoox.com> wrote:
>
>>The greatest thing you'll ever learn, is just to love and be loved in
>>return, you stupid fucking pukebrained sacks of jackal crap.
[snip]
> Just show me where the boat is. Then I'll talk about the greatest
> thing I ever learned.
The problem is that it's a Love Boat.
--
"He who steadily observes the moral precepts in which all religions
concur, will never be questioned at the gates of heaven as to the
dogmas in which they all differ."
- Thomas Jefferson
Cardinal Vertigo
> The greatest thing you'll ever learn, is just to love and be loved in
> return, you stupid fucking pukebrained sacks of jackal crap.
Translation: "Moulin Rouge was on cable last night, and Mrs. nenslo and
I played grab-ass on the couch all night without even bothering to mute
the TV."
--
"I didn't really say everything I said."
- Yogi Berra, on the numerous quotes attributed to him
Zapanas
<ver...@alexandria.cc> wrote:
>Zapanas wrote:
>
>> On Fri, 13 Aug 2004 00:34:08 -0700, nenslo <nen...@yahoox.com> wrote:
>>
>>>The greatest thing you'll ever learn, is just to love and be loved in
>>>return, you stupid fucking pukebrained sacks of jackal crap.
>[snip]
>> Just show me where the boat is. Then I'll talk about the greatest
>> thing I ever learned.
>
>The problem is that it's a Love Boat.
I'll settle for a Pleasure Saucer
--
Zapanas
Grand Master of the Satanic Conspiracy
http://joecosby.com/
David Lynch:
"I sort of go by a duck when I work on a film because if you study a duck, you'll see
certain things. You'll see a bill, and the bill is a certain texture and a certain length.
Then you'll see a head, and the features on the head are a certain texture and it's
a certain shape and it goes into the neck. The texture of the bill for instance is very
smooth and it has quite precise detail in it and it reminds you somewhat of the legs.
The legs are a little bit bigger and a little more rubbery but it's enough so that your
eye goes back and forth. Now, the body being so big, it can be softer and the texture
is not so detailed, it's just kind of a cloud. And the key to the whole duck is the eye and
where the eye is placed. And it has to be placed in the head and it's the most detailed,
and it's like a little jewel. And if it was fixed, sitting on the bill, it would be two things that
were too busy, battling, they would not do so well. And if it was sitting in the middle of the body,
it would get lost. But it's so perfectly placed to show off a jewel right in the middle of the head like that,
next to this S-curve with the bill sitting out in front, but with enough distance so that the eye is very very
very well secluded and set out. So when you're working on a film, a lot of times you can get the bill and
the legs and the body and everything, but this eye of the duck is a certain scene, this jewel, that if it's
there, it's absolutely beautiful. It's just fantastic." "Film exists because we can go and have experiences
that would be pretty dangerous or strange for us in real life. We can go into a room and walk
into a dream. If we didn't want to upset anyone, we would make films about sewing, but
even that could be dangerous. But I think finally, in a film, it is how the balance is and
the feelings are. But I think there has to be those contrasts and strong things withing a
film for the total experience."
Rev. Ivan Stang
How about the kind where you're with somebody -- parent, child, spouse,
sibling, buddy -- so long, and you go through so much stuff with them,
that you love them, in pretty much all the ways that word is taken to
mean, but then they get sick or fucked up or whatnot, and you're
obliged to take care of them, plus you love them... but because that
obligation has fucked your life up, you hate them? What do they call
that? *True* love?
If you take care of a fucked up sick person for years even though you
hate them, is that love?
If you really really like a person, but avoid them after they get sick,
because you love them too much to watch them suffer, and you want to
remember them how they WERE, and not grow to hate them as they get
sicker and sicker and take up more of your time, is that love?
These questions start coming up as you get older.
That love word has a whole different level of meaning when you're
having to wipe another person's butt than it does when you're talking
about What Makes the World Go Round, or what All You Need Is.
Cardinal Vertigo
[snip]
> These questions start coming up as you get older.
>
> That love word has a whole different level of meaning when you're
> having to wipe another person's butt than it does when you're talking
> about What Makes the World Go Round, or what All You Need Is.
Remind me never to get old. It's too depressing.
nu-monet v7.0
>
> Remind me never to get old. It's too depressing.
But Kyle's grandfather may be right, it may be more
like an endless recording session of Enya's "Sail
Away", while eating gallons of cooked, mashed beets,
and looking forward to your daily enema.
--
X-Day. It's just a Godzilla take-off, but
apparently some do-gooders decided it was
really a sordid cheap laff at the expense
of 9-11 victims by foreigners.
Rev. Ivan Stang
<ver...@alexandria.cc> wrote:
We all said that, every single one of us. Except the ones that died
real young and never got a chance to say it.
I pretty distinctly remember turning TEN YEARS OLD (40 years ago) and
thinking, well, so long, childhood.
AHAHAHAHAHA!!! What a fool I was. Childhood is all the time, until you
have your own kids.
What's NOT depressing is that NOT EVERYBODY IS COMPLETELY ABANDONED in
their old age of infirmity or retardation or mental illness or
whatever. You have to look at the bright side. At least somebody
somewhere gives enough of a shit to wipe somebody else's butt for them.
That's what family is all about. First you wipe the child's butt, then
eventually the child wipes your butt, or hires somebody to wipe your
butt, or both. You actually get the better deal if you linger on as a
vegetable for a decade. I only had to wipe my kids' two butts for a
combined total of maybe 3 years.
I don't understand why you youths think this talk is depressing. I'm
being pretty funny, in old-person terms.
YOU'LL SEE!! You WILL see, IF YOU SHOULD LIVE SO LONG! The time will
come when your back not hurting will be a LOT more important than sex.
(Exercise and a sensible diet will forestall this, unless you get some
disease, in which case God has simply singled you out for UNFAIR PAIN.)
Don't get the wrong idea, my back only hurts occasionally, like after I
start the mower, or during X-Day Drills, because of the lazy fucking
Bobbies. The reason I am grouchy toward Bobbies at X-Day and devivals
is because they sit and watch me while I haul shit around, so later
that night my back hurts too much for proper fuckery, and it's all
their fault. That's a pretty good reason to be grouchy. Not only should
they help me haul shit, but they should exercise for me too. I want
thirty sit-ups RIGHT NOW. ABOVE AND BEYOND the $30 you pay to get in.
HARRUMPH!! Where another cult subleader would demand BLOWJOBS from you,
to me a blowjob from any of you (except Nenslo) would be AN UNTHINKABLE
WASTE OF TIME! -- so you Bobbies are getting off DAMN easy.
These kids these days. You just stay offa my lawn, you kids, if you
know what's good for you.
YOU EVER WATCH SOMEBODY DIE?? Stood there while the dying motherfucker
finally, FINALLY gives up that last breath? Well, I have twice and I
expect to be doing that MORE AND MORE. And that's only if I'm one of
the LUCKY ones who isn't doing the expiring yet!
Now how can you say that's depressing?
Zapanas
<http://joecosby.com/code/mail.pl> wrote:
>On Fri, 13 Aug 2004 16:03:58 GMT, Cardinal Vertigo
><ver...@alexandria.cc> wrote:
>
>>Zapanas wrote:
>>
>>> On Fri, 13 Aug 2004 00:34:08 -0700, nenslo <nen...@yahoox.com> wrote:
>>>
>>>>The greatest thing you'll ever learn, is just to love and be loved in
>>>>return, you stupid fucking pukebrained sacks of jackal crap.
>>[snip]
>>> Just show me where the boat is. Then I'll talk about the greatest
>>> thing I ever learned.
>>
>>The problem is that it's a Love Boat.
>
>I'll settle for a Pleasure Saucer
Although don't get me wrong, I do believe in love, very much so.
I have just seen a kind of fuzzy use of the word love used and abused
too many times to consider the word, itself, innocent of all charges.
Love is a rare and dangerous thing.
--
Zapanas
Grand Master of the Satanic Conspiracy
http://joecosby.com/
"At the age of six years I wanted to be a chef. At the age of seven I
wanted to be Napoleon. My ambitions have continued to grow at the
same rate ever since."
- Salvador Dali
Zapanas
<st...@subgeniusNOSPUM.com> wrote:
>YOU EVER WATCH SOMEBODY DIE?? Stood there while the dying motherfucker
>finally, FINALLY gives up that last breath? Well, I have twice and I
>expect to be doing that MORE AND MORE. And that's only if I'm one of
>the LUCKY ones who isn't doing the expiring yet!
I don't like death. I went to one funeral when I was young and swore
I would just never go to another one. Then the next one was a friend
in the military and attendance was mandatory. At least they didn't do
that crap where they lay the dead body in a box and everybody is
supposed to look at it and pretend it is JUST ASLEEP.
Let alone watching somebody die. I guess I will have to do that
eventually. (After all, I LOVE them, don't I?)
Hospitals make me ill. Even watching sick people in a movie makes me
ill, physically. I kind of have an exagerrated empathy thing, whether
I like it or not. I literally feel what other people are feeling. It
isn't something new-agey, everybody has it, you identify with somebody
else if they remind you of you in any way and to some extent you
project yourself into their situation and feel it. I just have it
worse. It SUCKS.
All these new-age people trying to INCREASE their empathy. They can
have mine. FREE.
If "Bob" can put enlightenment in toothpaste tubes I'm sure he can
work out some way to suck my empathy out of my skull and give it to
somebody more deserving.
--
Zapanas
Grand Master of the Satanic Conspiracy
http://joecosby.com/
@+------------+@
_o)| I am |(o_
/\\| Stealthy |//\
_\_V|____________|V_/_
nenslo
Some dumb crap in response to some jackass' dopey blabbering. Shut up.
Who the hell cares.
Cardinal Vertigo
> On Fri, 13 Aug 2004 09:28:33 -0700, Zapanas
> <http://joecosby.com/code/mail.pl> wrote:
>
>>On Fri, 13 Aug 2004 16:03:58 GMT, Cardinal Vertigo
>><ver...@alexandria.cc> wrote:
>>
>>>Zapanas wrote:
>>>
>>>>On Fri, 13 Aug 2004 00:34:08 -0700, nenslo <nen...@yahoox.com> wrote:
>>>>
>>>>>The greatest thing you'll ever learn, is just to love and be loved in
>>>>>return, you stupid fucking pukebrained sacks of jackal crap.
>>>
>>>[snip]
>>>
>>>>Just show me where the boat is. Then I'll talk about the greatest
>>>>thing I ever learned.
>>>
>>>The problem is that it's a Love Boat.
>>
>>I'll settle for a Pleasure Saucer
>
> Although don't get me wrong, I do believe in love, very much so.
>
> I have just seen a kind of fuzzy use of the word love used and abused
> too many times to consider the word, itself, innocent of all charges.
>
> Love is a rare and dangerous thing.
Dunno much about it; I'm a fighter, not a lover.
Rev. Ivan Stang
wrote:
"The wise man has eyes in his head while the fool walks in darkness;
but... the same fate overtakes them both." -- Ecclesiastes 2:14
"Go, eat your food with gladness, and drink your wine with a joyful
heart... Enjoy life with your wife, whom you love, all the days of this
meaningless life that God has given you... all your meaningless days."
-- Ecclesiastes 9: 7-9
"All things are wearisome... what has been done will be done again...
even those who are yet to come will not be remembered by those who
follow." -- Ecc 1:8-11
HdMrs. Salacia the Overseer
<st...@subgeniusNOSPUM.com> wrote:
>In article <411D20C4...@yahoox.com>, nenslo <nen...@yahoox.com>
>wrote:
>
>> "Rev. Ivan Stang" wrote:
>> >
>> > In article <j1gph0ddpkd71efic...@4ax.com>, Zapanas wrote:
>> >
>>
>> Some dumb crap in response to some jackass' dopey blabbering. Shut up.
>> Who the hell cares.
>
>"The wise man has eyes in his head while the fool walks in darkness;
>but... the same fate overtakes them both." -- Ecclesiastes 2:14
>
>"Go, eat your food with gladness, and drink your wine with a joyful
>heart... Enjoy life with your wife, whom you love, all the days of this
>meaningless life that God has given you... all your meaningless days."
>-- Ecclesiastes 9: 7-9
>
>"All things are wearisome... what has been done will be done again...
>even those who are yet to come will not be remembered by those who
>follow." -- Ecc 1:8-11
Salacia begins to prepare the laptop for 'bronzing'.
TTFN
kevbob
you are absolutely right, and i find it great to know that.
i think it may have taken me too long to have finally
accepted that truth,
hopefully it wasn't too late though.
everything is a little bit better nowadays.
not a whole lot, but just a little bit,
but all of it, not just some.
so, i guess, it means that it's a lot,
a little bit everywhere sure does add up.
the funny thing, to me (well, that goes without saying.
i've been amusing only myself for ever),
is that i had been harboring a thought of doing "i love you"
posts,
but hadn't gotten around to doing them.
thank you nenslo,
thank you for posting your brilliant anecdotes,
your perceptions,
your thoughts to alt.slack.
thank you for caring enough to do so,
even though on occassion you have protested to some extent
that you really don't care.
it might be that you had protested too much.
i love you nenslo.
--
i am teh kevbob.
i had ants infest my Bunn.
now i drink instant!
spiffy
>The greatest thing you'll ever learn, is just to love and be loved in
>return, you stupid fucking pukebrained sacks of jackal crap.
WHAT A SAP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!GET OVER
YOURSELF!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
nenslo
>
> In article <411D20C4...@yahoox.com>, nenslo <nen...@yahoox.com>
> wrote:
>
> > "Rev. Ivan Stang" wrote:
> > >
> > > In article <j1gph0ddpkd71efic...@4ax.com>, Zapanas wrote:
> > >
> >
> > Some dumb crap in response to some jackass' dopey blabbering. Shut up.
> > Who the hell cares.
>
> "The wise man has eyes in his head while the fool walks in darkness;
> but... the same fate overtakes them both." -- Ecclesiastes 2:14
>
> "Go, eat your food with gladness, and drink your wine with a joyful
> heart... Enjoy life with your wife, whom you love, all the days of this
> meaningless life that God has given you... all your meaningless days."
> -- Ecclesiastes 9: 7-9
>
> "All things are wearisome... what has been done will be done again...
> even those who are yet to come will not be remembered by those who
> follow." -- Ecc 1:8-11
>
Sorry. I got carried away. I didn't think you'd quote the fucking
bible at me.
I got my Bobbie award today. That really hurt my feelings.
nenslo
Hey, that was my tribute to both Gypsy Boots and Nat "King" Cole. But I agree.
Artemia Salina
> I got my Bobbie award today. That really hurt my feelings.
In Stang's Bobbie Awards announcement he listed mine as
"Most Forgotten Award Category Award", and when the award
came in the mail I opened the envelope and pulled out the
anti-wrinkle cardboard, thinking that that was the award.
I half laughed, but didn't know what to think. Was this
blank piece of t-shirt package cardboard a joke or did
Stang actually FORGET to stick the award in the envelope?
Then I looked in the envelope again and found the award.
Well it entertained ME a little.
Rev. Ivan Stang
wrote:
> "Rev. Ivan Stang" wrote:
> >
> > In article <411D20C4...@yahoox.com>, nenslo <nen...@yahoox.com>
> > wrote:
> >
> > > "Rev. Ivan Stang" wrote:
> > > >
> > > > In article <j1gph0ddpkd71efic...@4ax.com>, Zapanas wrote:
> > > >
> > >
> > > Some dumb crap in response to some jackass' dopey blabbering. Shut up.
> > > Who the hell cares.
> >
> > "The wise man has eyes in his head while the fool walks in darkness;
> > but... the same fate overtakes them both." -- Ecclesiastes 2:14
> >
> > "Go, eat your food with gladness, and drink your wine with a joyful
> > heart... Enjoy life with your wife, whom you love, all the days of this
> > meaningless life that God has given you... all your meaningless days."
> > -- Ecclesiastes 9: 7-9
> >
> > "All things are wearisome... what has been done will be done again...
> > even those who are yet to come will not be remembered by those who
> > follow." -- Ecc 1:8-11
> >
>
> Sorry. I got carried away. I didn't think you'd quote the fucking
> bible at me.
I had just been reading a wonderful book called "Ken's Guide to the
Bible," which delineates all the most savage, crazy and depressing
parts of the Bible. Modemac had added it to the Bulldada Auction but I
nabbed it. Legume had told me about it years ago. It's written in a
very droll way and I was wondering who Ken Smith was so I looked in the
back of the book. Said he was a "professional authority" who had
co-written the Roadside America books. That's when I realized, "Oh,
THAT Ken Smith! Rev. Ken Smith! I think he was the one that booted the
expensive and rare Bleeding Head of Arnold Palmer prop out the window
of the hotel at the 1982 SubCon in Chicago so that it landed on the
roof of another building, whence it was rescued by Buck Naked and a
morbidly obese retarded girl he had picked up that day.
Small, sordid world, isn't it.
After the SubCon those guys asked me if I could point them to my agent,
Jane Browne, and a year later they had a much better contract with
Fireside Books than we ever got, and no doubt a much better business
relationship with the editor there, SINCE THEY'RE NOT ME.
>
> I got my Bobbie award today. That really hurt my feelings.
"Most delicate"? It was only MEANT to confuse you a little, make you
wonder what the fuck I meant by that. You know, like you're always
doing to me! (Whether you meant to or not.)
I hope you at least appreciate Princess Wei's nice lettering.
Now, when you get the VHS tape of Dobbsedeliasteses, which actually
should have come at the same time, that's when I add injury to insult
-- if you actually watch the whole thing, that is. HINT: There are no
Dobbsheads in the last 17 minutes and the music is some nice
instrumental jazz.
In the first 5 minutes however there is a shot with more Dobbsheads in
it than there are stars in the sky or atoms in all the sand on all the
beaches in the world, and they all have YOUR FACE!!! Your pores and
wrinkles anyway.
Spekaing of those pores and wrinkles on that Photoreal Nensletic
Dobbshead, last night I was arranging for PROFESSIONALS to print the
ARISE! DVD case paper insert, as opposed to my $60 Epson printer and
counterfeit ink. I had to send the art file to this company, and it had
to be CYMK.
Well boy howdy Nenslo, when I converted that cover art from RGB to
CYMK, god damn did it FUCK IT UP GOOD. Lovely glowing magenta became a
flat metallic dead-looking purple. And the Dobbshead became downright
EVIL looking. Really dark and evil. I futzed around with color and
brightness in CYMK mode for a long time just trying to get Dobbs to
stop looking so old and evil. I managed to do it but the soft trippy
pastel color background got injured.
Revi Shankar
> "Rev. Ivan Stang" wrote:
> > > "The wise man has eyes in his head while the fool walks in darkness;
> > but... the same fate overtakes them both." -- Ecclesiastes 2:14
> >
> > "Go, eat your food with gladness, and drink your wine with a joyful
> > heart... Enjoy life with your wife, whom you love, all the days of this
> > meaningless life that God has given you... all your meaningless days."
> > -- Ecclesiastes 9: 7-9
> >
> > "All things are wearisome... what has been done will be done again...
> > even those who are yet to come will not be remembered by those who
> > follow." -- Ecc 1:8-11
> >
>
> Sorry. I got carried away. I didn't think you'd quote the fucking
> bible at me.
>
> I got my Bobbie award today. That really hurt my feelings.
WELL. I was more caught up wondering: "Did he actually search for something
appropriate, and found those three verses (how much time did that
take?) -OR- does he just KNOW that much of the bible?" I mean really. Is
Stang a (choke) Bible scholar? I really need an answer here.
Revi Shankar
"Rev. Ivan Stang" <st...@subgeniusNOSPUM.com> wrote in message
news:140820040951360592%st...@subgeniusNOSPUM.com...
> I had just been reading a wonderful book called "Ken's Guide to the
> Bible," which delineates all the most savage, crazy and depressing
> parts of the Bible.
OH. well. nevermind that other post.
Rev. Richard Skull
>return, you stupid fucking pukebrained sacks of jackal crap.
>
>
That explains why you are always french kissing the mirror.
MSHOTZ: The Post Post Modern Man
"War hath no Fury like a non-combatants"
Charles E. Montague
Rev. Ivan Stang
<m...@privacy.net> wrote:
I have read the juicy parts with the monsters and flying saucers and
earthquakes many times. Also I own many comic book versions of this
collection of beautiful stories.
My dad is maybe what you might call a Bible scholar. He doesn't believe
a word of it, but he knows the material and its history far better than
most preachers I ever dealt with. Half his library is about the Bible
and just exactly HOW full of shit it is. He also has one of those
gigantic gold-bound editions of Manly P. Hall's Secret Wisdom of All
Ages... you better believe that sumbitch came in handy round about 1982
and a half.
If you met my dad now, or my mom back when she was healthy, you'd go,
"Hmm, I see now. Yes, yes, it all makes perfect sense now."
I might mention that my dad TEACHES BIBLE CLASSES AT A METHODIST SUNDAY
SCHOOL on Sundays. He takes great delight in unearthing the most insane
sections of the Bible, the ones the preachers rush past or gloss over,
like where children are mutilated by God for teasing, and springing
them on these nice townsfolk who want to learn more about The Good Book
without actually having to, you know, READ.
There's a used bookstore in the town square run by a nice little old
literary Texas lady who loves to get my dad talking about religion and
philosophy and I suspect might have even more on her mind. My dad looks
sort of like Sean Connery but with a strange South Carolina accent
instead of a brogue, and eyebrows like an Emperor Moth's antennae. He
doesn't drink (anymore), and can read, which makes him a regular Doc
Savage compared to most of the folks in this particular town. He is
whence I get my bullshittery. My mom is whence I got my
anti-bullshittery. Their looks however skipped a generation.
I might also mention that my son got in trouble in high school for
using the school photocopier to print up atheist pamphlets that he
liked to use to bug his religious friends.
My grandfather, a part-time but fairly successful mystery writer,
wanted to write the ultimate religion-bashing novel (specifically he ws
mad at the Catholics for personal reasons). And he did write a novel --
I have the ms -- but it didn't fly like his mystery novels did . It
lacked the MAGIC INGREDIENT -- SLACK. Too bad the old guy didn't live
to see Book of the SubGenius.
*I* wanted to make the ultimate religion-bashing MOVIE, but I have
obviously totally blown any chance of ever being entrusted with a
multimillion dollar project.
But my son is in Hollywood, you see, already the indispensable
do-everything editor at a fancy-ass commercial production house.
SLOW BUT STEADY WINS THE RACE. Evolution is not rushed. We Stangs shall
regain our rightful place on the Throne of All the Russias, if it takes
another 20 generations, 30 more world wars and an entire race of
artificial "super-men."
.
fenian
> The greatest thing you'll ever learn, is just to love and be loved in
> return, you stupid fucking pukebrained sacks of jackal crap.
The catch is finding someone who has come to the same realization.
AssCo Assc
crazy and depressing parts of the Bible.>>
You must have been on the toilet.
Due to the size and length of Ken's Guide, it's
a great bathroom book.
<< . . . "Oh, THAT Ken Smith! Rev. Ken Smith!
I think he was the one that booted the expensive and
rare Bleeding Head of Arnold Palmer prop out the
window of the hotel at the 1982 SubCon in Chicago
so that it landed on the roof of another building,
whence it was rescued by Buck Naked and a morbidly
obese retarded girl he had picked up that day." >>
That would be an interesting anecdote to confirm.
Ken's Guide was, at one time, an interesting AOL-provided
content site. I used to post pseudonymous stuff there
frequently.
He actually doesn't delineate ALL the most bizarre,
stupid and incongruous stuff: it's just a sampler.
--zosodada
nenslo
>
> > I got my Bobbie award today. That really hurt my feelings.
>
> "Most delicate"? It was only MEANT to confuse you a little, make you
> wonder what the fuck I meant by that. You know, like you're always
> doing to me! (Whether you meant to or not.)
>
> I hope you at least appreciate Princess Wei's nice lettering.
That was what hurt my feelings.
>
> Now, when you get the VHS tape of Dobbsedeliasteses, which actually
> should have come at the same time, that's when I add injury to insult
> -- if you actually watch the whole thing, that is. HINT: There are no
> Dobbsheads in the last 17 minutes and the music is some nice
> instrumental jazz.
That REALLY hurt my feelings.
Revi Shankar
"Rev. Ivan Stang" <st...@subgeniusNOSPUM.com> wrote in message
> SLOW BUT STEADY WINS THE RACE. Evolution is not rushed. We Stangs shall
> regain our rightful place on the Throne of All the Russias, if it takes
> another 20 generations, 30 more world wars and an entire race of
> artificial "super-men."
>
Now that is a fascinating peek into your family. I'm willing to bet you're
fairly lucky when it comes to parents (current health problems excepted).
And you knew your grandfather. I never knew either of my grandfathers, and
only one grandmother, and she died when I was 12 or 13. Dad's father was 50
when dad was born. So gramps was born about 1874!
Congrats on having a sober father. (and having a sober you, too) My own dad
turns 80 this year. But he still drinks, and boy does he. Even though he and
mom live alone, he still drinks out of a Sprite can. He's afraid someone
(who???) will see him drinking. As if it's a surprise. He's taking the same
road as his brother, who was found dead in his apartment. He had a broken
arm, and it had been broken for a few weeks, they told me. His wife was too
blind with cataracts to see. He was up to two bottles of scotch a day. Now
THAT was sad. He was brilliant. He could read, write and speak Greek. He
would sit down after dinner and pick up Greek and read it as anyone would
read a novel.
Coincidently, Dad used to teach bible classes at church, and a history
scholar too. He now tells me that he is a deist.
Now, even my older brother is sick as hell with level two cirrhosis. He
Found out 15 years ago he had Hep. II and kept right on drinking. When he
found out he was dying from his liver problems, he rather brilliantly
decided the thing to do was to take up crack. (Mind you, he's 50). Smoking
cocaine was something he originally found 30 years ago. No one called it
crack then, I think. So, he just left his wife, his kids and the lovely home
and the 4 cars and moved into a crack house. I wanted so badly to go find
him and KICK THE LIVIN SHIT OUT OF HIM. (He had an incredible house and a
few very private acres.) Somehow, he took a month of rehab way down south.
But, I think he's right back at it. Motherfucker.
So, yeah, alcohol has pretty well destroyed a few lives in my family.
> *I* wanted to make the ultimate religion-bashing MOVIE, but I have
> obviously totally blown any chance of ever being entrusted with a
> multimillion dollar project.
Hey, now, you never know! Anything can happen! But really, look at it this
way, you've something better: you've got the ultimate religion-bashing CULT.
If you can just make a documentary of it, you may have something close...
> But my son is in Hollywood, you see, already the indispensable
> do-everything editor at a fancy-ass commercial production house.
Really? My sister lives in the Palisades. She has a lovely and RICH
daughter. SEE ABS!
It's funny how many of us grow up with these passions to create something
'great' and never do more than scratch around the edges of it, never
satisfying that urge. I used to have those urges. But, damn, everything is
so fucked up... The family I grew up in was about the worst environment for
a child you could imagine. Mom told me MANY times how much better off she
would have been if I wasn't born. She still does. I won't even go into the
sexual abuse.
I have to admit, I actually envy Nenslo. He's found a voice for all his
pain. That's something I haven't accomplished yet.
I'm sorry, what were you saying, now?
Rev. Richard Skull
>a word of it, but he knows the material and its history far better than
>most preachers I ever dealt with. Half his library is about the Bible
>and just exactly HOW full of shit it is. He also has one of those
>gigantic gold-bound editions of Manly P. Hall's Secret Wisdom of All
>Ages... you better believe that sumbitch came in handy round about 1982
>and a half.
>f you met my dad now, or my mom back when she was healthy, you'd go,
>"Hmm, I see now. Yes, yes, it all makes perfect sense now."
>
>I might mention that my dad TEACHES BIBLE CLASSES AT A METHODIST SUNDAY
>SCHOOL on Sundays. He takes great delight in unearthing the most insane
>sections of the Bible, the ones the preachers rush past or gloss over,
>like where children are mutilated by God for teasing, and springing
>them on these nice townsfolk who want to learn more about The Good Book
>without actually having to, you know, READ.
>
My God! READ THE BIBLE! No! You are just supposed to sit still and let that TV
Preacher TELL what God wants!
How did your folks manage to escape the McCarthy Era with out being raided by
the FBI or blacklisted?
The Rev. Dr. Lt. Chaos Israel
> The greatest thing you'll ever learn, is just to love and be loved in
> return, you stupid fucking pukebrained sacks of jackal crap.
Somebody explain to me why self-absorbed faux-ironic drivel like this
gets 32 replies.
Make that 33.
--
C.
KD et al
>> return, you stupid fucking pukebrained sacks of jackal crap.
>
>Somebody explain to me why self-absorbed faux-ironic drivel like this
>gets 32 replies.
>Make that 33.
Because we're all saps at heart.
Or faux-ironic.
Most likely, both.
--
Kdetal
"There are some human beings who have attained singularities. They know (and
others uneasily suspect) that they are unique...They know that they create
their environment. They inhabit their own worlds. YOU inhabit their worlds."
T. Leary
Revi Shankar
"The Rev. Dr. Lt. Chaos Israel" <chaos_...@antisocial.com> wrote in
message news:72e1e1e3.04081...@posting.google.com...
Here's where someone steps in and says "Ok, so what about someone whose
buttons get pushed so much by a completely specious post and a few handfuls
of equally meaningless replies that he COUNTS all the posts and then posts
himself?" Of course, I'd never say that, because I'm a nice guy. But
someone will, I'll bet. You just wait...
termite
<st...@subgeniusNOSPUM.com> told one of them in news:130820041408464868%
st...@subgeniusNOSPUM.com:
d.
>
> How about the kind where you're with somebody -- parent, child, spouse,
> sibling, buddy -- so long, and you go through so much stuff with them,
> that you love them, in pretty much all the ways that word is taken to
> mean, but then they get sick or fucked up or whatnot, and you're
> obliged to take care of them, plus you love them... but because that
> obligation has fucked your life up, you hate them? What do they call
> that? *True* love?
>
> If you take care of a fucked up sick person for years even though you
> hate them, is that love?
>
you forgot the part where they turn on you and kick you to the curb ...
that's "love", too
HellPopeHuey
> The greatest thing you'll ever learn, is just to love and be loved in
> return, you stupid fucking pukebrained sacks of jackal crap.
You're getting really toothless at this, fella; all you'd have to do
is throw in a bit about pulling barbed wire from someone's ass while
running a DieHard to their nipples andf you'd sound EXACTLY LIKE
STERNO. You're circle-jerking and inter-fellating so hard, you're all
becoming one big Giger painting. Young people have no real goals and
the old ones are losing their edge.
I went to see "Alien Vs. Predator" out of simple nostalgia (which is
further evidence of decay in several ways, both personal and cultural)
and its really true: when you've seen one monster burst out of
someone's chest and spray the room with chicken parts and vomitous
glowing latex goo, you've seen 'em all. Prospero gave up his power
for a satellite dish and a hand job. Love me, love my ennui. So sad.
2.o, 2.2, who cares.
--
HellPope Huey
Without chemicals,
Life itself would be impossible. Mine, anyway.
Maybe yours, too.
Just take my pills away for 3 days and see!
"Go ahead, Stan,
GET your goddamned cookie!"
- "South Park"
"You're gonna need some heavy fiber
to move that out."
- "Hellboy"
www.imdb.com
Internet Movie database
The Rev. Dr. Lt. Chaos Israel
> "The Rev. Dr. Lt. Chaos Israel" <chaos_...@antisocial.com> wrote in
> message news:72e1e1e3.04081...@posting.google.com...
> > nenslo <nen...@yahoox.com> wrote in message
> news:<411C6EED...@yahoox.com>...
> > > The greatest thing you'll ever learn, is just to love and be loved in
> > > return, you stupid fucking pukebrained sacks of jackal crap.
> >
> > Somebody explain to me why self-absorbed faux-ironic drivel like this
> > gets 32 replies.
> >
> > Make that 33.
> >
> > --
> > C.
>
> Here's where someone steps in and says "Ok, so what about someone whose
> buttons get pushed so much by a completely specious post and a few handfuls
> of equally meaningless replies that he COUNTS all the posts and then posts
> himself?"
Dint hafta count em; Google/Deja numbers the posts in each thread.
You must have a broken newsreader.
> Of course, I'd never say that, because I'm a nice guy. But
> someone will, I'll bet. You just wait...
I'll save em the trouble:
Ok, what about someone whose buttons get pushed so much by a
completely specious [sic] post and a few handfuls of equally
meaningless replies that he COUNTS all the posts and then posts
himself?
Well...what about him?
--
C.