MAGDALEN & JESUS NEED $LACK!

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Rev. Ivan Stang

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Aug 3, 2006, 3:05:24 PM8/3/06
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((Note: This following was just bulk-emailed to the Mailing List of the
Gods, the thing you can sign up for on the News page of SubSITE. I
haven't sent out one of these since May. I got a message from Magdalen
last Saturday, however, saying she was in pretty dire straits
financially, and I'm hoping this prompts any well-meaning
procrastinators to stop procrastinating. (I did!)))

MAGDALEN & JESUS NEED $LACK!

... because their child needs THEM!

You may have read about the child custody case of Rachel Bevilacqua,
aka Rev. Magdalen. Her 10-year-old son was taken away from her last
February because a New York family court judge thought that her
involvement with The Church of the SubGenius disqualified her for
motherhood. The horrible news is, even though the original judge is off
the case, THE CASE IS DRAGGING ON and she has been allowed very little
contact with her son. The state is paying for the father's lawyers,
because the father is a welfare case who never has a job, and that side
is deliberately prolonging the court sessions BECAUSE THEY KNOW THAT
THE BEVILACQUAS, WHO BETWEEN THEM ARE WORKING FOUR JOBS, *DO* HAVE TO
PAY FOR THEIR LAWYERS.

Rachel has very good lawyers now, but they're very expensive, and they
want another $10,000 from her by LAST WEEK. Meanwhile, her husband
Steve, aka Rev. Jesus, has been tranfered by His employers to ENGLAND
-- which would be lots of fun IF HE COULD HAVE HIS FAMILY WITH HIM. But
Rachel cannot leave New York until she regains at least partial custody
of her child.

Friends, normally when I send out these letters it's because I'm
selling something -- some new holy SubGenius product. Well, our new
book will be out in October, and I will surely sell the Hell out of
that when the time comes. But right now I'm not selling anything. I'm
BEGGING for your money, for SOMEBODY ELSE -- for Rachel's legal fees,
so she can hurry up and get young "ConBo" back before he has to spend
YET ANOTHER 6 MONTHS IN THAT WRETCHED TRAILER COURT.

If you read any of the stories that have now been written about this
case -- and especially if you read the publicly available transcript of
the original abusive judge's outbursts -- you'll see that this is not
just another cute SubGenius money-making gimmick, but a serious fight
against a REAL THREAT. Magdalen is a degreed college graduate with a
long and responsible job history, a good income, no jail record, etc.
If her child can be taken away by a small local court just because
she's a SubGenius, THINK WHAT ELSE THEY COULD DO... MAYBE TO YOU.

Modemac's wikipedia page has the most concise history of the case and
the most complete collection of links:
http://www.modemac.com/wiki/Reverend_Magdalen

This feisty weekly newspaper from the Rochester area has the most
scathing of many good articles about the case:

The Beast:
http://www.buffalobeast.com/96/subgenius.custody.htm

Another excellent, more recent article is in the Cleveland Free Times:
http://www.freetimes.com/story/262

Paypal donations can still be sent to magd...@subgenius.com.
http://tinyurl.com/jbpe8

Checks or other payments can be mailed to the attention of:
Rachel Bevilacqua
c/o Christopher S. Mattingly
Lipsitz Green LLP
42 Delaware Avenue
Suite 300
Buffalo, New York 14202-3857


THE 'WHY A GOAT?' SHIRT: The brave and hardy administrators of Taphouse
IRC (the official IRC network of the Church of the SubGenius) have
begun a fundraiser for Magdalen's legal fund, by producing T-shirts
with a goat head logo and the quote "Why a goat?" (as was repeated by
the original judge in this case). These shirts are being sold for $20,
of which $8.10 of every sale will go directly to her legal fund. All
help is appreciated, and every little bit helps. The URL for the
fund-raiser is:
http://www.spreadshirt.com/shop.php?sid=32908

Needless to say, this has been unspeakably hard on Magdalen and Jesus.
The SubGeniuses at large, however, sure had a lot of fun at Judge
Punch's expense at our last X-Day drill. There are 4 Hours of Slack
online now that feature recordings from 9X-Day, but this week's show,
#1058, a Magdalen Case Fund-Raising, Punch-Bashing special with Dr.
Hal and other great ranters (also featuring Mag's shordurpersav band,
The Billy Nayer Show). Hour of Slack 1058:

http://subgenius.sensoryresearch.net/hos/Hour_of_Slack_1058.mp3

While we're at it, this is a good place to mention THE HOUR OF SLACK
HOME SERVICE -- a 6-month subscription to weekly Hour of Slack CDs
delivered to your home! Only FIVE BUCKS PER SHOW. Sure you can download
it, or you can record it off the air if you're in one of the 17 cities
where it's carried (see website) -- but these are audio CDs made direct
from the masters, with 25 to 60 separate tracks so you can easily
isolate your favorite parts. You can specify X-Rated or Air-Safe
copies. I know, I said I wasn't selling anything. But, hey -- What
Would "Bob" Do?

http://www.subgenius.com/scatalog/audio-hos.htm

*******

NEW SUBGENIUS COMIC BOOK

It's free but it's only online... and it's our first photo-novella! We
turned the best photos from 9X-Day Drill into a "comic book" with
narration and dialog balloons. I've decided this is the most accurate
way to show what an X-Day Drill is REALLY like.

The 9X-Day Photonovella
http://tinyurl.com/jsqt7

There's also a collections of text reports on 9X-Day, and also some
pages on Starwood 26, the big NY neopagan festival that always features
a big Devival.

*******

Announcement: Birth of the OverBaby!

BORN to Dr. Philo U. Drummond, Primary SubGenius OverMan,
Second Authorized MegaFisTemple Lodge of the Church of the SubGenius
/Drummondian, and the beautiful Rev. Kaosmic-Kitty:

THE OVERBABY
Lily KatBuck Drummond

ACTUAL BIRTHDATE:
7-22-06
TIME: 6:06 A.M.

REPEAT: 6:06 A.M.

Two strange events (besides "Bob's" signature on the time of her birth)
mark this far-from-emaculate birth. Detailed descriptions of these
mysteries (and a WEIRD PHOTO!), plus links to other new stuff n' news,
are plastered all over my little newsblog.
STANGIAN NEWS BLOG
http://revstang.blogspot.com/

Many of us preachers and harangue-ers still use the far more
interactive alt.slack for personal ranting.
http://groups.google.com/group/alt.slack
Be prepared to wade through a lot of obvious mal-aligned Normals and
"SubGenius Kooks." For many of us that's half the fun.

peenworm

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Aug 3, 2006, 5:32:52 PM8/3/06
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Cleveland Free Times wrote:

>Stang adds that while the custody battle has been grueling for the Bevilacquas,
>it's been great for the church. The membership-driven business has tripled in recent
>months. Whenever the custody battle is mentioned on a blog, he says he gets another
>50 or 60 orders at $30 apiece. "I've never made so much money," he says.

Hey, horror is great for religion. I've already been ordained, as has
my wife, my car, and my kid, yet this makes me want to go ahead and
ordain my house. I mean, first priority is to fundraiser swag, but what
the heck.

Rev. James Slaughter

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Aug 3, 2006, 5:50:22 PM8/3/06
to

Rev. Ivan Stang wrote:
> ((Note: This following was just bulk-emailed to the Mailing List of the
> Gods, the thing you can sign up for on the News page of SubSITE. I
> haven't sent out one of these since May. I got a message from Magdalen
> last Saturday, however, saying she was in pretty dire straits
> financially, and I'm hoping this prompts any well-meaning
> procrastinators to stop procrastinating. (I did!)))
>
>
>
> MAGDALEN & JESUS NEED $LACK!
>
> ... because their child needs THEM!
... ...

> Many of us preachers and harangue-ers still use the far more
> interactive alt.slack for personal ranting.
> http://groups.google.com/group/alt.slack
> Be prepared to wade through a lot of obvious mal-aligned Normals and
> "SubGenius Kooks." For many of us that's half the fun.

Makes me wish I still HAD some money! Poor my bank account!

ass...@gmail.com

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Aug 3, 2006, 7:33:57 PM8/3/06
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> Poor my bank account!

Yeah, poor fuckin' MY bank account, too.

I'm reduced to selling all these unused condoms
that were supposed to be given out at Starwood
on the street corner.

Wanna buy some condoms? Condoms, anyone?

I'll give the money to Mags, I promise... $1.00
a pop. Looks like "Black Lifestyle Tuxedos,
expiration date August 2007"... buck a rubber!
buck a rubber! get your rubbahs here... money
goes to a good cause... geniune latex
prelubricated prophylactics... one dollah...

Rev. James Slaughter

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Aug 3, 2006, 8:07:56 PM8/3/06
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Pretty cheap for a rubber...sure! I'll buy. Oh, wait. Well, I've got
some change...

Zapanaz

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Aug 3, 2006, 8:35:03 PM8/3/06
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On 3 Aug 2006 17:07:56 -0700, "Rev. James Slaughter"
<prairie....@gmail.com> wrote:

I just want to rent one, what's the price for that?


--
Zapanaz
International Satanic Conspiracy
Customer Support Specialist
http://joecosby.com/
When a mommie and a daddy love each other very much, first, they go
into the bathroom together, then they take all of their clothes off.
Next, the daddy shoves a poodle up his rectum. Then, he pulls it back
out. Next, the mommy whistles at the poodle until it falls asleep.
Next, the mommy gets a newspaper and reads it. If she finds any
stories about fish, then she has a baby in her stomach.

Doc Martian

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Aug 3, 2006, 10:47:35 PM8/3/06
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cheers!
Doc

"Rev. Ivan Stang" <st...@subgenius.com> wrote in message
news:1154631923....@m73g2000cwd.googlegroups.com...

ass...@gmail.com

unread,
Aug 3, 2006, 11:57:04 PM8/3/06
to
Zapanaz wrote:
> I just want to rent one, what's the price for that?

Since they are "Tuxedos" I guess a $300.00
deposit and $30.00 a day will do.

Rev. Ivan Stang

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Aug 4, 2006, 9:18:47 AM8/4/06
to

Rev. James Slaughter wrote:

> > MAGDALEN & JESUS NEED $LACK!

>


> Makes me wish I still HAD some money! Poor my bank account!

NEW SLOGANS:

Get Another Job for "Bob"

The SubGenius Must Give Slack

Act Like Rocknar and We'll Treat You As An Equal

Fuck 'em If They Can't Give a Buck

and our new, more lucrative slogans, devised with our new business
partners:

At Burger King, You Won't Just EAT That Hamburger

You'll Pay to Know What You Really Drink. Bud Light.

Give Me Camel Lights -- Or Kill Me.

Rev. Ivan Stang

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Aug 4, 2006, 12:39:16 PM8/4/06
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Doc Martian:

You will awaken from your trance on my command.

WAKE UP!

SNAP OUT OF IT!

...

Shit. Oh well.

Doc Martian

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Aug 4, 2006, 2:33:35 PM8/4/06
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lithographs on ebay often sell fer several hundred dollars. ana voog has
made over 2000 bucks on paintings she's made and her work is blown away by
some of our stuff. sell lithographs of the mandala, of the dobbshead, or ask
mothersbaugh for a painting... or for that matter? sell the goatshead with a
5k minimum.

think big stuff. small stuff too. but big stuff would make it less work.

cheers!
Doc

"Rev. Ivan Stang" <st...@subgenius.com> wrote in message

news:1154709556.1...@m73g2000cwd.googlegroups.com...

Rev. Ivan Stang

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Aug 4, 2006, 3:32:10 PM8/4/06
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Doc Martian wrote:
> lithographs on ebay often sell fer several hundred dollars. ana voog has
> made over 2000 bucks on paintings she's made and her work is blown away by
> some of our stuff.

"Our"

Gluing feathers to your ass doesn't make you a rooster, Henrietta.

Doc Martian

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Aug 4, 2006, 4:24:40 PM8/4/06
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neither does dressing up in silly preacher clothes.

cheers!
Doc

"Rev. Ivan Stang" <st...@subgenius.com> wrote in message

> Gluing feathers to your ass doesn't make you a rooster, Henrietta.
>


Doc Martian

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Aug 4, 2006, 4:28:32 PM8/4/06
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btw. you've been deordained.

cheers!
Doc

enjoy false slack.


"Rev. Ivan Stang" <st...@subgenius.com> wrote in message

news:1154719929....@m73g2000cwd.googlegroups.com...

just john

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Aug 4, 2006, 4:30:36 PM8/4/06
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On 08/04/2006 04:24 PM, Doc Martian told the world:

On the other hand, gluing a rooster to a preacher's ass ...

nikolai kingsley

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Aug 4, 2006, 4:55:54 PM8/4/06
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>> Makes me wish I still HAD some money! Poor my bank account!
>
> NEW SLOGANS:
>
> Get Another Job for "Bob"

uh oh. there goes the cult.

frater SODDI

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Aug 4, 2006, 5:58:03 PM8/4/06
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"just john" <teuy...@sneakemail.com> wrote in message
news:12d7bf7...@corp.supernews.com...


Makes him a what?


just john

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Aug 4, 2006, 6:06:00 PM8/4/06
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On 08/04/2006 05:58 PM, frater SODDI told the world:

Oh, I wouldn't want to ruin the surprise.

--
* Radio Free Entropy: http://just-john.com/cn/rfe.shtml *

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