Two Rude Poems by Robert Burns
nu-monet
By Robert Burns
Puir wee saft an' flabby penis,
A wheen o' pleasure you hae gien us.
An hour or twa ago, puir thing,
Ye made a lassie's gled hert sing,
For then ye stuck oot firm and prood
An' put Jean Armour in the mood.
She doted on the love ye geid,
An' lost wi' glee her maidenheid.
Her comely thighs, her erse sae braw
Did answer mother nature's ca'.
She squirmit like a trimlin' jelly,
As ye went scuddin' up her belly.
Fu' prood she wis o' hard worked penis:
an' hoo ye jerked sae weel between us;
She lay there, gigglin' wi' pleasure;
Lie doon, and rest - ye've earned yer leisure.
For Ye geid yer a' tae satisfy
The urgent need o' Jean and I.
Still ye did a guid night's work;
Ye did yer duty, didnae shirk.
Noo, wee thing ye look sae sad,
You're just nae use tae Rabbie lad.
Ye're wabbit oot, an' saft as butter -
But hoo ye made Jean Armour splutter.
An' as I slowly puff my pipe
Ye look just like some wrinkled tripe.
Noo ma Bonnie Jean's gang hame
Tae hing her heid in sorry shame.
Ye ken gie weel ye did her wrang -
I kept ye in her far too lang,
An' noo we'll hae tae wait an' see
If Jean will hae a pregnancy.
Oh weel, we a' men, we tak oor chances,
Let's saunter doon tae Poosie Nansy's,
An' when I've had a dram or twa
I'll let ye piss agin' the wa'.
Maybe ye'll pardon my abuses
I realise ye've ither uses.
TAMS MUCKLE TURD.
Intae the wids amongst the trees.
Tam bared his erse, his cheeks to ease.
Nae sinner hud his breeks gan doon.
Than shitty flees were swarming roon.
Intae the wind he bared his baws
and from his erse a big keech faws.
The reek it curled amongst the trees.
'twis enough tae make the birdies sneeze.
An' a' the bees on bended knees,
Got sick a fricht o' Tams big erse.
Big Tam wis in awfy pain.
It came oot his erse like a nine pund wean.
Thur wis a tear faw fi' his eee
For a bigger shit you'd never see.
Big Tams erse wis raw an sair.
Says big Tam I'll shite nae mair.
Yonder it lay amongst the grit.
A dirty stinkin' muckle shit.
Yonder it lay si saft, si fresh.
Nae een, nae teeth, nae bains, nae flesh.
I swear it never drew a breath.
Tams Muckle Turd.
--
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John Starrett
>
> O D E T O A P E N I S
>
> By Robert Burns
excellent
--
John Starrett
"We have nothing to fear but the scary stuff."
http://www-math.cudenver.edu/~jstarret/microtone.html
Alliekatt
"nu-monet" <not...@succeeds.com> wrote in message
news:3C1CD5...@succeeds.com...
> O D E T O A P E N I S
>
> By Robert Burns
*CLAP CLAP CLAP*
I forwarded these to my mom.
How 'bout some Chaucer next?
alliekatt
HellPope Huey
>
>nu-monet wrote:
>>
>> O D E T O A P E N I S
>>
>> By Robert Burns
><snip>
>excellent
Yeah, they is. Now do "Ode To A BeTumored Pyloric Valve." I wanna see what you
come up with to rhyme with valve.
HellPope Huey, hellpo...@subgenius.com
Bob Barker is having Falwell's Love Tubbie.
"There is no such thing as a moral or immoral book.
Books are well written, or badly written,
that is all."
- Oscar Wilde
"Today's horrible lesson is about something horrible,
so turn your horrible textbooks to page 2,398."
- "Invader Zim"
"I could be angry but I'm not, because I'm drunk."
- "Drew Carey"
Artemia Salina
> TAMS MUCKLE TURD.
Well done.
Reminds me of this:
http://groups.google.com/groups?selm=397695C1.6B4A3E39%40sheayright.com&output=gplain
Still lookin' for that script.
--
Artemia Salina -- http://www.drpez.com/drali1.htm
Sleepy Tacker Soullessly Prediscovers Avengeful Omphalopter!!! Just ask Kevan!
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nikolai kingsley
what you
> come up with to rhyme with valve.
salve!
halve!
calve!
delve! (almost)
selve?
er,
nikolai
---
uh oh.
ICEKNIFE
I take back 47% of all the bad things I ever said to or about you.
