coon hunting
rented dentures
.
.
.
is fun. everybody should try it at least once. I like the way, just
after the bullet rips through them, they nearly always arch their back
for a second in a cartoonish rictus of agony, and the tendons contract
in their neck, giving them the appearance of grinning ghoulishly all
the way from whatever branch you blew them off of to the ground. And
you can see all of this if yer fairly quick with the five D Mag lite.
Then you can walk over and give the twitching carcass a good swift
kick and say "fucking shitty little bandit. That'll teach 'ya to fuck
with my corn."
Meat is no good, though. Greasy and it stinks. Even my nigger dog
won't eat it, unless I put a shitload of salt on it.
Artemia Salina
I once heard the story of a FOAF who had gone on an extended trip to
Africa (somewhere). While there he went out into the bush with a small bore
rifle (that's .30-06 or smaller in Africa). He saw a chimp and took a pot shot
at it. Hit him in the chest. He said that it was the most disturbing thing he'd
ever taken part in because the monkey clutched his chest, ran around in a panic,
and screamed very much like a human before it died.
I dunno, all I can picture from the description is the monkey doing a melodramatic
death scene from some old movie, saying, "UG! Day got me! Tell my wife I loves 'er!"
rented dentures
Last line reminds me of something else. I usually hate drippy nature
programs, but I did see ONE that I like. Was about chimps. At some
point the camera settled on a pendulous-titted chimpette nursing a
junior chimp, and I guess paw chimp was bent on making some sort of
political statement about the lack of safe and government subsidized
abortion, so he yanked the baby away from her and beat her senseless
with it. Then he ran up a tree with it, and finding that it hadn't
been dispatched by the contact with maw chimp's skull, whacked it
against the trunk three or four times, pretty much busting its head
open. Then he ate it.
This in turn reminds me of another story, sworn to be true by a Cuban
friend of Spanish descent that doesn't lie ALL the time. Said his
great grand dad or something had a pet chimp that he got while he was
in Africa. Said when the chimp behaved himself, he'd let him wear a
little soldier suit that he'd had made up for him, but when he acted
up, he'd make the monkey wear a ballerina's outfit. Well, anyway, when
the chimp was about six, he got into a lot of shit in the kitchen and
made a big mess, so my friend's ancestor went to dress him up in his
fruity clothes, but this time the chimp wasn't having any of it, and
killed him outright with a sideways swipe with his arm (chimps are
three or so times stronger than a man, at least in the upper body).
Then ate some of him before the housekeeper found them. Might have
been the plan all along. That's what the old man gets for running out
of bananas, I guess.
thirdn...@my-deja.com
JS_...@OneTonZoop.com (rented dentures) wrote:
> Artemia Salina <y...@sheayright.com> wrote:
>
> >rented dentures wrote:
<a crock of shit>
No, chimpanzees aren't three times as strong in the upper body.
You're thinking (so to speak) of great apes. I'm not surprised you got
it wrong, though; you're so incredibly stupid. Haven't you died
screaming yet? I ssued the order MINUTES ago, BITCH! Now DROP!
Sent via Deja.com http://www.deja.com/
Before you buy.
Joe Cosby
typing feverishly;
thunder crashed, JS_...@OneTonZoop.com (rented dentures) laughed
madly, then wrote:
Hm. So this is the opposite of 'long rambling and deeply unfunny',
huh?
I'll make a note.
--
"Brain Death For Bonzo," in radiant Alz-o-Vision!!!
- Hellpope Huey
Joe Cosby
rented dentures
>In article <3a1947c2....@news.mindspring.com>,
> JS_...@OneTonZoop.com (rented dentures) wrote:
>> Artemia Salina <y...@sheayright.com> wrote:
>>
>> >rented dentures wrote:
>
> <a crock of shit>
>
> No, chimpanzees aren't three times as strong in the upper body.
>You're thinking (so to speak) of great apes. I'm not surprised you got
>it wrong, though; you're so incredibly stupid. Haven't you died
>screaming yet? I ssued the order MINUTES ago, BITCH! Now DROP!
yer fulla shit, asshole. Great apes are way more than three times as
strong. A full grown Gorilla could pick your puny ass up and sling you
across the street like a like a pasty, kaposi's sarcoma mottled meat
frisbee. But I got a feeling even an ape wouldn't want to get that
close