From Rev. Sternodox to alt.slack
Sandy Duncan
What I want to perpetrate upon the persons of ALL
alt.slackers: I would like to promulgate the insidious rumor that
everyone who posts to alt.slack is a homicidal zoophiliac heroin
addict whose greatest pleasure in life is burning down Catholic
orphanages. Then I would point in your direction the proper
authorities who, under my conspiratorial direction, would actually be
untrained squads of rape gorillas who had all undergone bionic
surgery the purpose of which was to replace the gorillas' fleshy
organs with gigantic robotic penises equipped with rotating,
electrified fish scalers and glans-mounted flame throwers. Then I
would assign fifty rape gorillas to each alt.slacker and confine them
to tiny cells dug beneath the sewers of New York City. Then I
would instruct, by cerebral implant, that the gorillas simultaneously
skin each of you alive while penetrating your rectums with the
aforementioned bionic members. Then I'd like to hire about 23,653
retarded, alcoholic, overweight, NRA-member, evangelical Christian
trailer park denizens to donate a ten year accumulation of their
expiratory and excretory biproducts, mix it with the brainwater of
54,104 hydrocephalic Mormons, draw it up into a four-story tall,
solid shit syringe and inject it into each or your genitals' ass's
pussy's throats and then throw an electric frying pan into a jacuzzi
full of sulfuric acid and whale cum that you were lying unconscious
in (but you would regain consciousness seconds before your ultimate
demise, so that you could experience a few seconds of sheer horror
and agony). Then I would resurrect each of you, insert a super-heated
glass rod up your urethras, attach 123,321 vampiric, mutant Brazilian
leeches to cardboard paths leading to the glass rods, and throw you
into 1,000 foot deep pits dug in the mercury-soaked,
ecologically-fucked, unhallowed grounds of the worst strip and pit
mining areas on this fucked up planet. Then I would like to attach
rabid pitbulls to each of your assholes while slowly lowering you,
head first, into a swimming pool filled to the max with the liquid
that results from tossing 87,321 dead nuns into a blender with the
cast-off spum of 53,890,199 Juarez donkey shows. Then I would like to
crucify each one of you to an electric chair and wheel the chair into
the gas chamber at San Quentin, but rather than gas flooding the
hermetically sealed chamber, it would be a mixture of rat cum, the
hormonal detritus cast off by several species of cannabilistic dung
worms, and the shit that comes out of an asshole attached to they guy
whose shit smells worse than anybody else's. Then I would laugh. Then
I would puke on you. Then I would leave.
Rev. Sterno
--
My favorite things:
Kali * Puppies * Slayer * Ruth Gordon * Edgard Varese
cuthulu
On 4 Sep 1996 17:44:46 GMT, ster...@aristotle.net (Sandy Duncan)
wrote:
>My favorite things:
>Kali * Puppies * Slayer * Ruth Gordon * Edgard Varese
No "d" on Edgar, sugar.
{Kevan - www.rlabs.com}
{Don't Drink Soap! }
{Keep Out Of Eye! }
{Dilute! Dilute! OK! }
Pee Kitty
<sniff>
<sob>
--
Rev. Pee Kitty, of the order Malkavian-Dobbsian
Meow!
--> You can fight the Conspiracy of Normalcy and get back your Slack!
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Peter Hipwell
cuthulu wrote:
>
> On 4 Sep 1996 17:44:46 GMT, ster...@aristotle.net (Sandy Duncan)
> wrote:
> >My favorite things:
> >Kali * Puppies * Slayer * Ruth Gordon * Edgard Varese
>
> No "d" on Edgar, sugar.
>
That's true.
However, there is a "d" in Edgard, which was the guy's name, or at least
was PREVALENTLY his name.
And there's no "u" in cthl. Spuuuuum. I want storieas now.
--
remememedismemberationalessencephalotherroarrogleamitrouselephagentryagain
**** ZPK SITE PLUG: http://www.cogsci.ed.ac.uk/~petehip/ZPKIntro.html
****
remementalistonkalligatrememeiostretchinderogathermalicentichoruptamessinge
cuthulu
On Thu, 05 Sep 1996 17:59:14 +0100, in alt.slack Peter Hipwell wrote:
>However, there is a "d" in Edgard, which was the guy's name, or at least
>was PREVALENTLY his name.
>
>And there's no "u" in cthl. Spuuuuum. I want storieas now.
You fucking Brits! I'm so goddam sick and tired of the liberties you
take with good ole American English.
Like, ferexample, the only good music dictionaries are British
dictionaries, so I have to say Erkel "Air'-kehl" like a bleeding frog
when the guy was fucking Hungarian you shitheads and everyone just
*knows* his name should be pronounced "Ur-kle" like that stupid kid
sitcom guy. And looking under Kodaly I see "Code'-ah-yia" when it
should be "Code-AH'-e", and heavens forbid if I say "Gen-o-VEH-vah"
instead of "Gain-o-FIFE-a."
If NPR does ever catch on over there (What, pay for it? But we already
get free BBC!), you probably say Click and Clack the Cartok guys.
Zoogz is right!
Zoogz Rift--The Liquid Moamo
Bloody right I am! Pip pip! :P
--SIR ZRTLM
http://www.rlabs.com/zoogz/index.htm
mailto:<moam...@primenet.com>
news:alt.fan.zoogz-rift
IRC: #wrestling
The Psychoaquatic Daily Enquirer:
http://crayon.net/read.cgi?moam...@primenet.com
Dennis McClain-Furmanski
Sandy Duncan (ster...@aristotle.net) wrote:
: What I want to perpetrate upon the persons of ALL
: whose shit smells worse than anybody else's. Then I would laugh. Then
: I would puke on you. Then I would leave.
:
: Rev. Sterno
Nobody likes a tease, Sandy.
Getcher glass eye out and come over here.
--
Doktor DynaSoar Iridium -- dyn...@infi.net -- Punctuator of Evolution
Rev. Ivan Stang
In article <sternodox-040...@pmppp26.aristotle.net>,
ster...@aristotle.net (Sandy Duncan) wrote:
> What I want to perpetrate upon the persons of ALL
> alt.slackers: I would like to promulgate the insidious rumor that
> everyone who posts to alt.slack is a homicidal zoophiliac heroin
> addict whose greatest pleasure in life is burning down Catholic
> orphanages.
Hey man, don't go spreading that around! Some people here could get in
serious trouble.
Then I would point in your direction the proper
> authorities who, under my conspiratorial direction, would actually be
> untrained squads of rape gorillas who had all undergone bionic
> surgery the purpose of which was to replace the gorillas' fleshy
> organs with gigantic robotic penises equipped with rotating,
> electrified fish scalers and glans-mounted flame throwers.
GIVE ME A FUCKIN' BREAK!!! How are you gonna afford the bionic implants,
much less more than one or two rape gorillas? Sterno -- you're fantasizing
man. You need to "come down." Orangutangs, now maybe you could pull THAT
off. But rape gorillas... you just aren't gonna be able to FIND enough of
'em! I SHOULD GOD DAMN KNOW!!!
Then I
> would assign fifty rape gorillas to each alt.slacker and confine them
> to tiny cells dug beneath the sewers of New York City.
NOW you're talkin'.
Then I
> would instruct, by cerebral implant, that the gorillas simultaneously
> skin each of you alive while penetrating your rectums with the
> aforementioned bionic members.
That's easier said than done. They would probnably die from shock long
before you had 'em half skinned. You need to put more planning into this.
Then I'd like to hire about 23,653
> retarded, alcoholic, overweight, NRA-member, evangelical Christian
> trailer park denizens to donate a ten year accumulation of their
> expiratory and excretory biproducts, mix it with the brainwater of
> 54,104 hydrocephalic Mormons, draw it up into a four-story tall,
> solid shit syringe and inject it into each or your genitals' ass's
> pussy's throats and then throw an electric frying pan into a jacuzzi
> full of sulfuric acid and whale cum that you were lying unconscious
> in (but you would regain consciousness seconds before your ultimate
> demise, so that you could experience a few seconds of sheer horror
> and agony).
Well, at this point I KNOW you're not serious. NRA members will run you $3
an hour min. Also I might point out that genitals do not themselves have
either asses or pussies, much less throats on said imaginary organs!
Then I would resurrect each of you, insert a super-heated
> glass rod up your urethras, attach 123,321 vampiric, mutant Brazilian
> leeches to cardboard paths leading to the glass rods, and throw you
> into 1,000 foot deep pits dug in the mercury-soaked,
> ecologically-fucked, unhallowed grounds of the worst strip and pit
> mining areas on this fucked up planet.
Well that's just plain RUDE. Sterno, can't you just let people BE??
Then I would like to attach
> rabid pitbulls to each of your assholes while slowly lowering you,
> head first, into a swimming pool filled to the max with the liquid
> that results from tossing 87,321 dead nuns into a blender with the
> cast-off spum of 53,890,199 Juarez donkey shows. Then I would like to
> crucify each one of you to an electric chair and wheel the chair into
> the gas chamber at San Quentin, but rather than gas flooding the
> hermetically sealed chamber, it would be a mixture of rat cum, the
> hormonal detritus cast off by several species of cannabilistic dung
> worms, and the shit that comes out of an asshole attached to they guy
> whose shit smells worse than anybody else's. Then I would laugh. Then
> I would puke on you. Then I would leave.
>
Frankly, Pope Sternodox, I feel that this letter reveals more about you
than the people at which it's directed! :)
Ivan Nice
--
Copyright 1996 by Rev. Ivan Stang / 1st Orthodox Stangian
MegaFisTemple Lodge of People's Covenant Church of the
Wrath of Dobbs Yeti, Resurrected / The SubGenius Foundation,Inc.
PO Box 140306 Dallas TX 75214 / Fax 214-320-1561 / PRABOB
http://sunsite.unc.edu/subgenius -- SubSITE of Slack
Rev. Ivan Stang
Reposted. From what I could tell, it didn't get through the first time.
Peter Hipwell
In article <322f535d...@news.alterdial.uu.net> cut...@rlabs.com writes:
>On Thu, 05 Sep 1996 17:59:14 +0100, in alt.slack Peter Hipwell wrote:
>
>>However, there is a "d" in Edgard, which was the guy's name, or at least
>>was PREVALENTLY his name.
>>
>>And there's no "u" in cthl. Spuuuuum. I want storieas now.
>
>You fucking Brits! I'm so goddam sick and tired of the liberties you
>take with good ole American English.
>
>Like, ferexample, the only good music dictionaries are British
>dictionaries, so I have to say Erkel "Air'-kehl" like a bleeding frog
>when the guy was fucking Hungarian you shitheads and everyone just
Hungarian accents are pretty cool. But their cigarettes
suck. I never worked out why "Hungarian Multi-Filters" are called that
'cos they only have a single filter. Each.
>*knows* his name should be pronounced "Ur-kle" like that stupid kid
>sitcom guy. And looking under Kodaly I see "Code'-ah-yia" when it
>should be "Code-AH'-e", and heavens forbid if I say "Gen-o-VEH-vah"
>instead of "Gain-o-FIFE-a."
>
I was recently SHOCKED to find out that "Ligeti" is correctly
pronounced "LIG-ettie" rather than "LIGGER-tee". Just one more reason
why we should adopt the IPA.
>If NPR does ever catch on over there (What, pay for it? But we already
>get free BBC!), you probably say Click and Clack the Cartok guys.
>
You get the BBC that is thought worth forking out for by purchasing
agents, no? Thus all the stuff deemed too parochial doesn't get
through. All the BEST stuff. They're going to remake "One Foot In The
Grave" for NUmericans but change the name (too downbeat) and change
the character of Victor Meldrew from a "loser" to a "winner", because
Americans aren't that kind of person. Which is the dumbest piece of
shit I ever heard: to turn the frenzied baroque complexity of Meldrew's
foaming-at-the-mouth disintegration of contemporary society as
filtered through the crotchety people-hating viciousness of
old-codgerdom into a life-affirming beetle-brained piece of trash such
as "The Golden Girls" a heartwarming celebration of stupid attempted
improvement of an already almost-perfect construction just MAKES ME
SICK. Just turn Basil Fawlty into a polite servile-fucking-efficient
well-organized fucking B&B operative while you're desecrating icons,
you swinish brutes! Damn you if you haven't seen "Boys From The
Blackstuff", "Yes, Minister", "House of Cards", "Abroad With Jonathan
Meades" or "The Fast Show".
>Zoogz is right!
In private email Zoogz admitted he actually has a BRITISH
FETISH... his home is FILLED with tacky tourist crap such as plastic
leeks from Cardiff, "Bobbies" helmets, teatowels depicting Cathedrals
of the Black Country, Charles and Di wedding memorabilia, framed signed
photograps of Noel Coward, Kenneth Connor, Cilla Black and Janet
Street-Porter, and cuddly Loch Ness Monster toys. It was all just an
act to cover his SHAME!
Zoogz Rift--The Liquid Moamo
pet...@cogsci.ed.ac.uk (Peter Hipwell) wrote:
>>Zoogz is right!
>
>In private email Zoogz admitted he actually has a BRITISH
>FETISH... his home is FILLED with tacky tourist crap such as plastic
>leeks from Cardiff, "Bobbies" helmets, teatowels depicting Cathedrals
>of the Black Country, Charles and Di wedding memorabilia, framed signed
>photograps of Noel Coward, Kenneth Connor, Cilla Black and Janet
>Street-Porter, and cuddly Loch Ness Monster toys. It was all just an
>act to cover his SHAME!
You forgot Lulu. Don't forget Lulu!
Steve A
cut...@rlabs.com (cuthulu) wrote:
>On Thu, 05 Sep 1996 17:59:14 +0100, in alt.slack Peter Hipwell wrote:
>
>>However, there is a "d" in Edgard, which was the guy's name, or at least
>>was PREVALENTLY his name.
>>
>>And there's no "u" in cthl. Spuuuuum. I want storieas now.
>
>You fucking Brits! I'm so goddam sick and tired of the liberties you
>take with good ole American English.
Bog off, old chap, there's a sport.
--
Time Computers Mitac 486, 6mths old: 2 monitor failures, 2 mouse failures,
1 keyboard failure. Support answers phone in 2.5 hrs, sales answer in 2 rings.
*** Would YOU buy a *new* computer from these people? ***
Steve A
pet...@cogsci.ed.ac.uk (Peter Hipwell) wrote:
>In article <322f535d...@news.alterdial.uu.net> cut...@rlabs.com writes:
>
>>If NPR does ever catch on over there (What, pay for it? But we already
>>get free BBC!), you probably say Click and Clack the Cartok guys.
>>
>
>You get the BBC that is thought worth forking out for by purchasing
>agents, no? Thus all the stuff deemed too parochial doesn't get
>through. All the BEST stuff. They're going to remake "One Foot In The
>Grave" for NUmericans but change the name (too downbeat) and change
>the character of Victor Meldrew from a "loser" to a "winner", because
>Americans aren't that kind of person. Which is the dumbest piece of
>shit I ever heard: to turn the frenzied baroque complexity of Meldrew's
>foaming-at-the-mouth disintegration of contemporary society as
>filtered through the crotchety people-hating viciousness of
>old-codgerdom into a life-affirming beetle-brained piece of trash such
>as "The Golden Girls" a heartwarming celebration of stupid attempted
>improvement of an already almost-perfect construction just MAKES ME
>SICK. Just turn Basil Fawlty into a polite servile-fucking-efficient
>well-organized fucking B&B operative while you're desecrating icons,
>you swinish brutes! Damn you if you haven't seen "Boys From The
>Blackstuff", "Yes, Minister", "House of Cards", "Abroad With Jonathan
>Meades" or "The Fast Show".
Niiiiice rant!
"Suits you sir"
David F Lynch
Peter Hipwell (pet...@cogsci.ed.ac.uk) wrote:
: In article <322f535d...@news.alterdial.uu.net> cut...@rlabs.com writes:
: >
: >>However, there is a "d" in Edgard, which was the guy's name, or at least
: >>was PREVALENTLY his name.
Actually, sometimes there was a d, sometimes there wasn't. Depending on
when or who you asked. (We ARE talking about Varese, right? My newsfeed
missed the first part of the thread.)
--
*** Please e-mail me any followups because my newsfeed may not get them.
Also please e-mail any cool posts you make or if you want to go out with
me. Thanks. -The Mgmt ***
Friday Jones
>In article <sternodox-040...@pmppp26.aristotle.net>,
>ster...@aristotle.net (Sandy Duncan) wrote:
>
>> What I want to perpetrate upon the persons of ALL
>> alt.slackers: I would like to promulgate the insidious rumor that
>> everyone who posts to alt.slack is a homicidal zoophiliac heroin
>> addict whose greatest pleasure in life is burning down Catholic
>> orphanages.
I'M not a heroin addict!
>Then I would point in your direction the proper
>> authorities who, under my conspiratorial direction, would actually be
>> untrained squads of rape gorillas who had all undergone bionic
>> surgery the purpose of which was to replace the gorillas' fleshy
>> organs with gigantic robotic penises equipped with rotating,
>> electrified fish scalers and glans-mounted flame throwers.
Oh "Bob" why did you tell him my Achilles' heel - RAPE GORILLAS!
>Then I
>> would assign fifty rape gorillas to each alt.slacker and confine them
>> to tiny cells dug beneath the sewers of New York City.
PANT PANT PANT
>Then I
>> would instruct, by cerebral implant, that the gorillas simultaneously
>> skin each of you alive while penetrating your rectums with the
>> aforementioned bionic members.
Oooohhhhhh ...
>Then I'd like to hire about 23,653
>> retarded, alcoholic, overweight, NRA-member, evangelical Christian
>> trailer park denizens to donate a ten year accumulation of their
>> expiratory and excretory biproducts, mix it with the brainwater of
>> 54,104 hydrocephalic Mormons, draw it up into a four-story tall,
>> solid shit syringe and inject it into each or your genitals' ass's
>> pussy's throats and then throw an electric frying pan into a jacuzzi
>> full of sulfuric acid and whale cum that you were lying unconscious
>> in (but you would regain consciousness seconds before your ultimate
>> demise, so that you could experience a few seconds of sheer horror
>> and agony).
Oh it's so DIRTY!
>Then I would resurrect each of you, insert a super-heated
>> glass rod up your urethras, attach 123,321 vampiric, mutant Brazilian
>> leeches to cardboard paths leading to the glass rods, and throw you
>> into 1,000 foot deep pits dug in the mercury-soaked,
>> ecologically-fucked, unhallowed grounds of the worst strip and pit
>> mining areas on this fucked up planet.
HOT and SWEATY in the PITS oh YES oh YES oh YES
>Then I would like to attach
>> rabid pitbulls to each of your assholes while slowly lowering you,
>> head first, into a swimming pool filled to the max with the liquid
>> that results from tossing 87,321 dead nuns into a blender with the
>> cast-off spum of 53,890,199 Juarez donkey shows. Then I would like to
>> crucify each one of you to an electric chair and wheel the chair into
>> the gas chamber at San Quentin, but rather than gas flooding the
>> hermetically sealed chamber, it would be a mixture of rat cum, the
>> hormonal detritus cast off by several species of cannabilistic dung
>> worms, and the shit that comes out of an asshole attached to they guy
>> whose shit smells worse than anybody else's. Then I would laugh. Then
>> I would puke on you. Then I would leave.
And then you'd LEAVE?
With me in a state like THAT?
ALL FRUSTRATED??????
How could you, you neutered get of an incestuous Peen Worm?
Lonely,
Friday