Chopper's xmas story
John Cook
--
John Cook
Reality is not Democratic
John Cook
> Oz Bad Boy/Lunatic "Chopper Reid" reads...
>
and then goes surfing...
http://www.flickr.com/photos/2roxfox/2746202622/?addedcomment=1#comment72157622910410565
Compliments of Jane Eddington a WestOz Yeti
Via FaceBook
Chain Smerker
"John Cook" <FunCoTech@Yahoodotcom> wrote in message
news:ZeOdne0j15tudLDW...@giganews.com...
Don't try to culture the seppo's. They have no idea what "chopper" even
means, culturally and what not.
Its a waste of time, they will never understand.
Rev.Dr. LoBotomy
But I don't want to be a seppo anymore.
Reverend Susie the Floozie
> Don't try to culture the seppo's. They have no idea what "chopper" even
> means, culturally and what not.
>
> Its a waste of time, they will never understand.
Oh, yeah? Get rooted, you dirty big ratbag bastard. Yer camp as a row
of tents, you gink. What, you think you got open slather here or
somelike? You get shirty with me, and I'll tell yer to sling off, ya
skite! Look at the book in my dunny, you bleedin' poofter wannabe
sheila--the red one, right next to ULYSSES. I've spent many a penny in
there, and many an arvo boning up on yer lingo, mate.
http://subgenius.com/bigfist/fun/devivals/DragonCon09/Floozeum/pic-html/IMG_4863.html
Don't push me, ya shriekin' galah. I'll put the death adder in yer
kick fer ya. Come the raw prawn with me, I'll see yer feelin' up to
mud for it.
I believe I've made myself clear.
Now go have one with the flies, and leave us decent pommy citizens be.
John Cook
Not bad Flooz - keep studying, get the accent worked and you won't even
have to pretend to be canadian when you come sailing with KapTan
Jesticles.
Just remember that three syllables is often too many - put an 'o' on the
end instead. eg afternoon = arvo and one syllable is often not enough
eg Tom = tommo (this is great when poeming)
Oh nearly forgot if you are a Bogan (especially a bogan chick) always
end statements with an upward inflection - like it was a question...
Rev. Susie the Floozie
wrote:
> On Dec 20, 6:01 am, "Chain Smerker" <mich...@subgenious.com> wrote:
>
> > Don't try to culture the seppo's. They have no idea what "chopper" even
> > means, culturally and what not.
>
> > Its a waste of time, they will never understand.
>
> Oh, yeah? Get rooted, you dirty big ratbag bastard. Yer camp as a row
> of tents, you gink. What, you think you got open slather here or
> somelike? You get shirty with me, and I'll tell yer to sling off, ya
> skite! Look at the book in my dunny, you bleedin' poofter wannabe
> sheila--the red one, right next to ULYSSES. I've spent many a penny in
> there, and many an arvo boning up on yer lingo, mate.
>
>
> Don't push me, ya shriekin' galah. I'll put the death adder in yer
> kick fer ya. Come the raw prawn with me, I'll see yer feelin' up to
> mud for it.
>
> I believe I've made myself clear.
>
> Now go have one with the flies, and leave us decent pommy citizens be.
Hey, Smerker, I didn't disgrace myself by uttering your bastard tongue
only to have you sleep or suck your way through it!
Chain Smerker
"Reverend Susie the Floozie" <floo...@gmail.com> wrote in message
news:3f30c301-b0d4-4a6a...@h9g2000yqa.googlegroups.com...
http://subgenius.com/bigfist/fun/devivals/DragonCon09/Floozeum/pic-html/IMG_4863.html
*gulps*
Rev.Dr. LoBotomy
Dr. LoBotomy bows in humble submission before the incomprehensible wisdom
of his sacred master.
Zapanaz
wrote:
>Oh nearly forgot if you are a Bogan (especially a bogan chick) always
>end statements with an upward inflection - like it was a question...
That works if you're a Minnesota chick also
--
Zapanaz
International Satanic Conspiracy
Customer Support Specialist
http://joecosby.com/
"I choose a block of marble and chop off whatever I don't need."
-Francois-Auguste Rodin
:: Currently listening to Violin Concerto No. 1 in D major Op. 6 / III. Rondo (Allegro spiritoso), 1817, by Paganini/Perlman, from "Paganini Violin Concerto No. 1; Sarasate Carmen Fantasy, Introduction et Tarantelle, Zigeunerweisen"
John Cook
> On Mon, 21 Dec 2009 05:50:00 +1000, John Cook<FunCoTech@Yahoodotcom>
> wrote:
>
>> Oh nearly forgot if you are a Bogan (especially a bogan chick) always
>> end statements with an upward inflection - like it was a question...
>
> That works if you're a Minnesota chick also
>
nowhere which is where bogans breed.
The males have 'mullet' hair cuts and drive V8's
Zapanaz
<http://joecosby.com/code/mai...@foo.com> wrote:
>On Mon, 21 Dec 2009 05:50:00 +1000, John Cook <FunCoTech@Yahoodotcom>
>wrote:
>
>>Oh nearly forgot if you are a Bogan (especially a bogan chick) always
>>end statements with an upward inflection - like it was a question...
>
>That works if you're a Minnesota chick also
That works if you're a Minnesota chick also?
IFMPFM
--
Zapanaz
International Satanic Conspiracy
Customer Support Specialist
http://joecosby.com/
History doesn't repeat itself, but it does rhyme
- Mark Twain
:: Currently listening to Intro: MD 1 - Something's On Your Mind - MD 2, 1985, by Miles Davis, from "You're Under Arrest"
Rev. Susie the Floozie
wrote:
> On Sun, 20 Dec 2009 15:00:10 -0800, Zapanaz
>
> >On Mon, 21 Dec 2009 05:50:00 +1000, John Cook <FunCoTech@Yahoodotcom>
> >wrote:
>
> >>Oh nearly forgot if you are a Bogan (especially a bogan chick) always
> >>end statements with an upward inflection - like it was a question...
>
> >That works if you're a Minnesota chick also
>
> That works if you're a Minnesota chick also?
You ought to get that inflection seen to, Joe.
Giles
Smerker was walking down a country road in New Zealand, when he
happened to glance over the fence and see a farmer goin' at it with a
sheep. Smerker was quite taken aback by this, so he climbs the fence
and walks over to the farmer.
He taps him on the shoulder and says, "You know mate, back home, we
shear those!"
he New Zealander looks frantically around and says, "I'm not bloody
sharing this with no one!"
Giles
> "Reverend Susie the Floozie" <flooze...@gmail.com> wrote in messagenews:3f30c301-b0d4-4a6a...@h9g2000yqa.googlegroups.com...
> On Dec 20, 6:01 am, "Chain Smerker" <mich...@subgenious.com> wrote:
>
> > Don't try to culture the seppo's. They have no idea what "chopper" even
> > means, culturally and what not.
>
> > Its a waste of time, they will never understand.
>
> Oh, yeah? Get rooted, you dirty big ratbag bastard. Yer camp as a row
> of tents, you gink. What, you think you got open slather here or
> somelike? You get shirty with me, and I'll tell yer to sling off, ya
> skite! Look at the book in my dunny, you bleedin' poofter wannabe
> sheila--the red one, right next to ULYSSES. I've spent many a penny in
> there, and many an arvo boning up on yer lingo, mate.
>
>
> Don't push me, ya shriekin' galah. I'll put the death adder in yer
> kick fer ya. Come the raw prawn with me, I'll see yer feelin' up to
> mud for it.
>
> I believe I've made myself clear.
>
> Now go have one with the flies, and leave us decent pommy citizens be.
>
> *gulps*
Q: What is the smallest muscle in a Koala's ass?
A: Smerker's dick!
John Cook
>
>> Don't try to culture the seppo's. They have no idea what "chopper" even
>> means, culturally and what not.
>>
>> Its a waste of time, they will never understand.
>
> Oh, yeah? Get rooted, you dirty big ratbag bastard. Yer camp as a row
> of tents, you gink. What, you think you got open slather here or
> somelike? You get shirty with me, and I'll tell yer to sling off, ya
> skite! Look at the book in my dunny, you bleedin' poofter wannabe
> sheila--the red one, right next to ULYSSES. I've spent many a penny in
> there, and many an arvo boning up on yer lingo, mate.
>
> http://subgenius.com/bigfist/fun/devivals/DragonCon09/Floozeum/pic-html/IMG_4863.html
That John O'Grady wrote some v funny books under the name Nino Cullotta
like 'They're a weird mob' poking fun at Oz life. Quite accurate re the
sixties.
But I like the one the other side of Ulysses.
Rev. Susie the Floozie
> Q: What is the smallest muscle in a Koala's ass?
> A: Smerker's dick!
Okay, wise guy, wanna wipe the explosion of spit off my screen for me?
Rev. Susie the Floozie
> But I like the one the other side of Ulysses.
Oh, you mean THE BOOK OF VICE: VERY NAUGHTY THINGS AND HOW TO DO THEM?
A birthday gift from my brother, who apparently thought I could use
some boning up. The red-spined ones next to FINAL EXIT are two
hardcore SWEDISH EROTICA catalogs. And I have a whole floor-display
rack of fuckbooks, ColdWar-era men's sweat mags, and AMERICAN CEMETERY
magazine. I don't have many visitors, but when they drop by, they
spend a lot of time in the can.