Retire at early 40......comes TRUE
Mshotz
BRUHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHHaHhahahah
aHahahaH!
Sucker!
MSHOTZ: The Post Post Modern Man
"I try to think but nothing happens!"
Jerome Horowitz
König Prüß, GmbH
>HA! I retired at 38!
>BRUHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHHaHhahahah
>aHahahaH!
>
>
>Sucker!
Wow! You did 20 for Uncle?
Sheesh!
I surveyed with one crazy Irishman who did 6 Army, 6 Navy,
6 Air Force, and 6 Marines, he said he was thinking about
joining the Coast Guard. He got his ear bit off in a bar fight!
The top part anyway...
an...@great-big-monkey.whee
>
> Sheesh!
>
> I surveyed with one crazy Irishman who did 6 Army, 6 Navy,
> 6 Air Force, and 6 Marines, he said he was thinking about
> joining the Coast Guard. He got his ear bit off in a bar fight!
> The top part anyway...
Neat. I always wanted to join something. Guess it can't be the armed
forces, so I gotta go shopping for a cult. Or maybe prison. I like
livin' in dorms. Only way it could be better is if we all got matching
jumpsuits.
I wrote a KILLER article about how we should have a moonbase run
entirely by pedophiles, but Sean DELETED it because he's using
thingsihate.org as his résumé and he didn't want to scare off the
Russians (I think I said something bad about the Russian space
program). He said he was sorry and that I could put it up after someone
hires him for sure, but I was dumb and all I have is the rough draft.
Poop.
Like my "Curse of Yig" comic is wholesome or something.
I'm working on finishing the story of how I killed my roommate's fridge,
but I'm also working on a live action version of Clue (due tonight). If
Clue Live works, it'll be the coolest thing EVER. Once I have the rules
polished, I'll post 'em.
Working like a crazy monkey.
--
|annna(at)earthling.net|Anna Truwe|atruwe(at)gladstone.uoregon.edu|
| "Dad, I'm gay, a heroin addict, considering the priesthood, |
| diagnosed with HIV, entering law school in the fall and I |
| just killed a guy." -- Mike Jasper | http://thingsihate.org |
-------------------------------------------------------------------
Mshotz
>
>Sheesh!
>
>I surveyed with one crazy Irishman who did 6 Army, 6 Navy,
>6 Air Force, and 6 Marines, he said he was thinking about
>joining the Coast Guard. He got his ear bit off in a bar fight!
>The top part anyway...
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
Well, the last 16 was in the Reserves/National Guard. The reserves were OK, but
the National Guard was a fucking Joke!
König Prüß, GmbH
>> Wow! You did 20 for Uncle?
>>
>> Sheesh!
>>
>> I surveyed with one crazy Irishman who did 6 Army, 6 Navy,
>> 6 Air Force, and 6 Marines, he said he was thinking about
>> joining the Coast Guard. He got his ear bit off in a bar fight!
>> The top part anyway...
>
>Neat. I always wanted to join something. Guess it can't be the armed
>forces, so I gotta go shopping for a cult. Or maybe prison. I like
>livin' in dorms. Only way it could be better is if we all got matching
>jumpsuits.
>
>I wrote a KILLER article about how we should have a moonbase run
>entirely by pedophiles, but Sean DELETED it because he's using
>thingsihate.org as his résumé and he didn't want to scare off the
>Russians (I think I said something bad about the Russian space
>program). He said he was sorry and that I could put it up after someone
>hires him for sure, but I was dumb and all I have is the rough draft.
>Poop.
>
>Like my "Curse of Yig" comic is wholesome or something.
>
>I'm working on finishing the story of how I killed my roommate's fridge,
>but I'm also working on a live action version of Clue (due tonight). If
>Clue Live works, it'll be the coolest thing EVER. Once I have the rules
>polished, I'll post 'em.
>
>Working like a crazy monkey.
Hah! I used to carry random bunches of Clue cards around in
my wallet to confuse the authorities.
When I worked for the bomb and chemical company
http://www.uxb.com
we got to wear bright orange jumpsuits. It was fun to go to lunch
like that, people thought that we were prison escapees! We also got to
wear Tyvek suits, and level 4 space suits over the Tyvek sometimes.
That UXB company is briefly mentioned in he book, "The Cult of Counterterrorism,"
so, I guess it's a cult of sorts.
Just before the internet went public, I was working with this guy on FidoNet,
which kind of still exists, the browser setup was a little different, but it had
text and hypertext. Anyway, this guy used to work with StarWats, but now
has ambitions of private enterprise in space, like Moon colonies and
asteroid mining.
http://www.permanent.com/
They would be wearing jumpsuits and sleeping dorm-style.
That writer, Tom Clancy, has also gotten into private space travel.
He's launched the "RotoRocket" a re-usable that re-enters with
a rotor propellor instead of a parachute.
König Prüß, GmbH
>>Wow! You did 20 for Uncle?
>>
>>Sheesh!
>>
>>I surveyed with one crazy Irishman who did 6 Army, 6 Navy,
>>6 Air Force, and 6 Marines, he said he was thinking about
>>joining the Coast Guard. He got his ear bit off in a bar fight!
>>The top part anyway...
>>
>>
>>
>>
>>
>>
>>
>
>Well, the last 16 was in the Reserves/National Guard. The reserves were OK, but
>the National Guard was a fucking Joke!
The Guard is kewl! When I was in Reno, the survey guys all went with the
Guard on weekends and alternately built a sand-bag damn on a river, then
blew it up! Some of the local guys bring home little 2 ounce pieces of C4,
nice bang!
I usually am satisfied with making a "mortar" out of good pipe, butt-welding
a plate on it and a bi-pod, then two seconds acetylene, quick spritz of oxy,
count to three, and hit the striker! Ka-BOOM! Cheep thrill, louder than all shit!
Mshotz
>Guard on weekends and alternately built a sand-bag damn on a river, then
>blew it up!
I was a Combat Engineer on Active Duty, we did shit like that all the time. I
got to locate and blow up real land mines on the East German Border!
The National Guard in Delaware has tow high Points of the Thier Training
year...
The Military Ball
The Honors Dinner
Every resource is placed at the disposal of these two functions.No Expanse is
spared! I have seen A whole Battalion Cancell field exercise so that the
Officers and Senior NCO's could attend the above mentioned functions.
The rest of the time they sit on thier asses in the Armory and Complain about
How Clinton is degrading the Military!
Also alomst the entire Guard in delaware is the Homosexual Corps (Signal Corps)
Who just look for an exciue NOT to do anything...
Too Hot
Too Cold
Too Windy
Bad for Moral
Blah blah blah, yappity snappity
König Prüß, GmbH
Most of the time we'd get spec sheets of what ordnance was on-site.
Sometimes, we'd find weird items. There's a Canadian EOD site online
that has a monthly quiz, they post a picture of an unusual piece of ordnance,
and everybody's 'sposed to guess what it is.
We used to get little booklets of what we might find, one booklet had
a Russian Anti-Tank Dog! It was a dog with saddlebags and a trip-switch on top,
the dogs were trained to run under tanks!
All our survey brass got stamped Corps of Engineers, Huntsville, Alabama,
regardless of where we were working. The weather never stopped us, unless
there was a chemical runoff problem. A couple of times the mud stopped us.
One neighbor played drums for four years in an Air Force Officers Club
in Hawaii. Some guys got real easy duty.
GKhan9
an...@great-big-monkey.whee wrote:
> Neat. I always wanted to join something. Guess it can't be the armed
> forces, so I gotta go shopping for a cult. Or maybe prison. I like
> livin' in dorms. Only way it could be better is if we all got
> matching jumpsuits.
I figured out the perfect way to make prisons fun:
Lazer Tag.
Of course, any references to the Computer are paranoid delusions.
> I wrote a KILLER article about how we should have a moonbase run
> entirely by pedophiles, but Sean DELETED it because he's using
> thingsihate.org as his résumé and he didn't want to scare off the
> Russians (I think I said something bad about the Russian space
> program). He said he was sorry and that I could put it up after
> someone hires him for sure, but I was dumb and all I have is the
> rough draft.
Steps to solving this problem:
1) Seduce me.
2) Tease me for several years.
3) Tell me you actually meant the game KILLER.
4) Wait until I publish your paper.
5) Vanish with all my money and the 15K diamond watch
fob I was going to give you anyway, just because.
> Poop.
You and Lindsey need to meet. Before I commit hari-kari trying to
decide.
--
/----+----+----+----+----+----+--GKHAN9--+----+----+----+----+----+----\
| |
| |
\----+----+----+----+----+----+---+--+---+----+----+----+----+----+----/
Sent via Deja.com http://www.deja.com/
Before you buy.
an...@great-big-monkey.whee
> Lazer Tag.
>
> Of course, any references to the Computer are paranoid delusions.
Yup.
Back when Laser Tag was popular, I was a wee thing with no money and no
friends. Now that I have (some) money and (some) friends, there's only
one type of shoot-people-with-lasers game and it's made for people with
tiny hands.
Makes me sad.
> 3) Tell me you actually meant the game KILLER.
Sadly, nope. Though I do have a bomb (NARCOTICS U.S. PRESIDENT MILITIA)
made from a cool Styrofoam container, ping pong balls and a prescription
bottle full of glowing goop made expressly for a game of Killer. Going
to run it spring term. Basically, one team plays the cops and the other
team is the commies. Every day, the commies contact me and say where
they want their bomb part dropped off. The cops can't kill or torture
the GM, but they can tail me. If the commies can assemble the bomb, the
cops lose. If the cops kill all the commies, the commies loose.
It should be fun.
> 5) Vanish with all my money and the 15K diamond watch
> fob I was going to give you anyway, just because.
People have watch fobs still? Neat! I had a series of three pocket
watches in grade school but I kept breaking them or losing them. Most
spectacular was the time we were all cardboard skating (socks, flattened
fridge box and cornmeal) and I slipped and planted my hipbone right on
the watch. Bits went everywhere!
Anyway, yeah, watch fobs. I went to the knife store in the mall t'other
day to pick up a sharpening stone.
See, I'd bought my new pal Sarah P. a knife hidden in a tube of
lipstick, because she reminds me a lot of myself inasmuch as she's
depressed and easily confused and likes knives. She dug it immensely.
So when I was at Cash King Liquidators, looking for candlesticks for
Clue Live, I found decent machetes for $3.95 and bought two. They
aren't the best machetes ever, but they're better than the ones you get
at the army/navy store for $10. Plus, mine came with a scabbard and a
booklet of safety tips.
Also at Cash King were cute little keychains shaped like little bronze
machine guns that were also tiny penknives. So I got her one of those,
too. To Sarah's credit, she has not yet decided I am an insane stalker.
But! The machetes were a mite dull, and I was getting tired of
sharpening my Swiss Army knife on my cheating little pocket porcelain
deal. So when I took a gaggle of hallmates to the mall to return stuff
and it turned out to be some kind of mall-wide savings extravaganza, I
stopped by the knife store. And there I found a huge (okay, 8")
sharpening stone, medium and fine grit, in a nice cedar box and on the
closeout cart. Seems a chunk of the corner of the box had come off, so
it was 75% off.
Keen.
About as keen as all the knives are now.
I think I had a point, but I forgot it. Knives are cool, though.
--
|annna(at)earthling.net|Anna Truwe|atruwe(at)gladstone.uoregon.edu|
|"Re-Animator is more important than Titanic in the grand scheme |
| of things." -- Nick Nunziata, chud.com | http://thingsihate.org |
-------------------------------------------------------------------
König Prüß, GmbH
When I was a youngun', I got me a job 'o work with two
wildmen who'd been tank rescuers in the Ko-rean War. What
they done, was to take the turret off'n a tank and fixed it
so's it'd go 70 mph, and when a tank got hit, they' race out
and tow it back. They was brothers, and after they got out'n
the Army. they set up in the tool bizness. If you didn't have
a tool for something, they did, and would lend it to you for a
consideration. Also, they tinkered, which I guess was their main line
of bizness. If you needed a chainsaw or a gocart or a lawnmower
fixed, they'd do 'er. Need something welded? Bring it over.
So, I got to workin' with these couple o' buzzards, and they
give me the offishyul job title o' knife sharpener. People are
real particular about their knives around here, and everybody has got
a method o' sharpenin'. Well, hit warn't jes knives thet needed
sharpnen. They was also saws. They was hand saws. I could make
you a five-point rip out of yer old 14-point finish saw. Or
vicy versy. And hit wasn't jes' handsaws neither, hit was also
disk saws, like you might see in yer Black and Decker, or Makita.
And hit warn't jes' little disks neither. Hit was them big uns
from the saw mill. Big dang disks thet you could barley lift, and
rang like a Chinee gong when I went to set the teeth. Also scissors
and ice skates.
Things was goin' right leisurely til Spring time, and surveral
things happened then that altered the routine considedrable.
One thing, Old John moved his trailer from the Shenandoah River
to up in back of the shop. He was the sort of country gentleman
who wore a Straw Panama hat year round, and offset this by akeeping
a wad of Redman in his mouth the size of a turkey egg. Old John
generally kept to hisself and gardened and played the banjo.
Lunchtimes, I'd go back to his place, and he'd fix me a green onion
sammitch. Also, Old John generalee had a jar o' moon.
Besides Old John's arrival, the other event that changed the tempo
'round there was that them two buzzards I worked for went and
got contracts to sharpen saws for every dang highschool shop
in the surrounding eight counties. So, I was litraly knee-deep
in saw dust. It was real hot that summer.
Fortunately, next door was a raw bar. See, because this here
is Virginia and on the Chesapeake Bay, ersters is a tradition.
They was this local stock car driver we called Two Beer Jimmy, not cuz
he would stop at two, but that after two beers he couldn't remember
where he had parked his car. Which was probably a good thing.
One time Jimmy showed up adrivin' a '36 Ford convertible,
had a Corvette engine in it, a forty gallon gas tank
and an eighty gallon tank behind the seat! And this was before
ethanol enhanced fuel...
This one afternoon, Two Beer Jimmy showed up, and also another
Jimmy thet drove a Caterpiller tractor. So, Caterpiller Jimmy
sez,"Y'all come on out front, I got to show you something. So, we go.
Out front, he opens up the trunk of his car and there is a five gallon
bucket full of honey! Turns out, he'd been clearing some land,
and hit a bee tree. He built a fire up under the tree and the bees
left, the fire melted the comb, and Caterpiller Jimmy got the honey.
He said he'd give us all a quart o' honey apiece, but first we
should go over to the raw bar and have a couple o' dozen ersters
and a couple o' cold ones. We went back got Old John and went.
Well, after a few beers, we was all in for more of a buzz than we
had bargained for, cuz when we come out of the raw bar, Caterpiller
Jimmy's car was entirely swarmed over with bees. They had done
followed him ten miles wantin' their honey back. After some speckelatin'
Two Beer Jimmy allowed as how he knew that the bees would have to sleep
sometime after dark and that the best thing we could do under the
circumstances was to go back into the raw bar and have a couple o' dozen
more ersters and a couple more cold ones.