This is the story of Rindercella and her sugly isters........
Normandy
Read out loud Ronnie Barker did on BBC
Rindercella and her sugly isters lived in a marge lansion. Rindercella
worked
very hard frubbing sloors, emptying poss pits, and shivelling shot. At the
end
of the day, she was knucking fackered.
The sugly isters were right bugly astards. One was called Mary Hinge, and
the
other was called Betty Swallocks; they were really forrible huckers; they
had
fetty sweet and fetty swannies. The sugly isters had tickets to go to the
ball, but the cotton runts would not let Rindercella go.
Suddenly there was a bucking fang, and her gairy fodmother appeared. Her
name
was Shairy Hithole and she was a light rucking fesbian. She turned a pumpkin
and six mite wice into a hucking cuge farriage with six dandy ronkeys who
had
buge hollocks and dig bicks.
The gairy fodmother told Rindercella to be back by dimnlight otherwise,
there
would be a cucking falamity.
At the ball, Rindercella was dancing with the prandsome hince when suddenly
the clock struck twelve. "Mist all chucking frighty!!!" said Rindercella,
and
she ran out tripping barse over ollocks, so dropping her slass glipper.
The very next day the prandsome hince knocked on Rindercella's door and the
sugly isters let him in. Suddenly, Betty Swallocks lifted her leg and let
off
a fig bart. "Who's fust jarted??" asked the prandsome hince.
"Blame that fugly ucker over there!!" said Mary Hinge. When the stinking
brown
cloud had lifted, he tried the slass glipper on both the sugly sisters
without
success and their feet stucking funk.
Betty Swallocks was ducking fisgusted and gave the prandsome hince a knack
in
the kickers. This was not difficult as he had bucking fuge halls and a hig
bard on.
He tried the slass glipper on Rindercella and it fitted pucking ferfectly.
Rindercella and the prandsome hince were married. The pransome hince lived
his
life in lucking fuxury, and Rindercella lived hers with a follen swanny.
Gordon H
>
>Read out loud Ronnie Barker did on BBC
>
--
Gordon H
(Remove invalid to email)
Normandy
"Anne Jackson" <amyg...@zetnet.co.uk> a écrit dans le message de news:
3130303034323...@zetnet.co.uk...
> The message from "Normandy" <aab...@wanadoo.fr> contains these words:
>
>> Read out loud Ronnie Barker did on BBC
>
> whatsoever to do with this!
>
> Ronnie Barker was an extremely talented writer...
>
> --
> AnneJ
http://www.collinson.fr/Jokepage/rindercella.html it is on the DVD The Best
of Ronnie Barker
>
Gordon H
Séimí mac Liam
news:45c37d61$0$5085$ba4a...@news.orange.fr:
I thought it was sisty step uglers. :-)
--
Saint Séimí mac Liam
Carriagemaker to the court of Queen Maeve
Prophet of The Great Tagger
Canonized December '99
nemo
"Normandy" <aab...@wanadoo.fr> wrote in message
news:45c37d61$0$5085$ba4a...@news.orange.fr...
>
>
> Read out loud Ronnie Barker did on BBC
>
>
> Betty Swallocks was ducking fisgusted and gave the prandsome hince a knack
> in
> the kickers. This was not difficult as he had bucking fuge halls and a hig
> bard on.
>
> He tried the slass glipper on Rindercella and it fitted pucking ferfectly.
>
> Rindercella and the prandsome hince were married. The pransome hince lived
> his
> life in lucking fuxury, and Rindercella lived hers with a follen swanny.
>
Archibald Spooner had been alive at the time he would have been turning in
his grave!
And in the mean time, in North London, Naughty Nemo was inspired by another
arch-gobbledogooker to write . . .
From Goldyloppers and the Three Bearloaders by Stanley Unwin:
"Goldyloppers trittly-how in the early mordy, and she falloped down
the steps. Oh unfortunate for the cracking of the eggers and the
sheebs and buttery full-falollop and graze the knee-clappers.
So she had a vaselubrious, rub it on and a quick healy
huff and that was that."
By me:
Vaselubrious?
Nowadayms it's more like, "Vaselubrious, rub it on all over and a quick
lifty-shirt thrusty-plungymold in the shrubberyloders on Hampsty Heapers
and don't frighty the horses or police arestimost and away in the van and
walloppyfaygeles at the police station by homophobylode "there butt for the
gracy godpers go I" police beaty all swoleymold all bruisy and falolloping
down in the cellars!
'Not me! He falolloped down the staims on his owm!' says the
homophobylode contabullies all fisty-grazed and hidey from the Sargent!"
nemo
"Anne Jackson" <amyg...@zetnet.co.uk> wrote in message
news:3130303034323...@zetnet.co.uk...
> The message from "Normandy" <aab...@wanadoo.fr> contains these words:
> > "Anne Jackson" <amyg...@zetnet.co.uk> a écrit dans le message de news:
> > 3130303034323...@zetnet.co.uk...
> > > The message from "Normandy" <aab...@wanadoo.fr> contains these words:
> > >
> > >> Read out loud Ronnie Barker did on BBC
> > >
> > > I don't believe, not for a minute, that Ronnie Barker had
> > > anything whatsoever to do with this!
> > >
> > > Ronnie Barker was an extremely talented writer...
> > >
> > the DVD The Best of Ronnie Barker
>
> I had credited him with a somewhat more subtle style...and I
> certainly wouldn't have included it in a 'Best of...' DVD. 8-(
>
The rude words he's alluding to only have power when one does not know their
origin.
Swallocks for instance is Dutch for swmall sphwerical objects.
Gordon H
>
>From Goldyloppers and the Three Bearloaders by Stanley Unwin:
>
>"Goldyloppers trittly-how in the early mordy, and she falloped down
>the steps. Oh unfortunate for the cracking of the eggers and the
>sheebs and buttery full-falollop and graze the knee-clappers.
>So she had a vaselubrious, rub it on and a quick healy
>huff and that was that."
>
>By me:
>
>Vaselubrious?
>
>Nowadayms it's more like, "Vaselubrious, rub it on all over and a quick
>lifty-shirt thrusty-plungymold in the shrubberyloders on Hampsty Heapers
>and don't frighty the horses or police arestimost and away in the van and
>walloppyfaygeles at the police station by homophobylode "there butt for the
>gracy godpers go I" police beaty all swoleymold all bruisy and falolloping
>down in the cellars!
>
>'Not me! He falolloped down the staims on his owm!' says the
>homophobylode contabullies all fisty-grazed and hidey from the Sargent!"
>
scientific discovery . . .
nemo
"Gordon H" <Gor...@g3snx.demon.co.uk.invalid> wrote in message
news:6gdEJOl8...@g3snx.demon.co.uk.invalid...
He was brilliant - and he was actually a BBC engineer who spoke like that to
amuse his colleagues, until a producer overheard him . .
It was his Guiness ad that thirst caught my attention:
"Tooten the glarpss - pursen de lippers, and a beautiful floam down the
throakus to warm the cocklode of the heart-springs!"
With me and my mates at school it was Spoonerisms and puns. We used to mive
the dreachers tad, we did!
Gordon H
>
>"Gordon H" <Gor...@g3snx.demon.co.uk.invalid> wrote in message
>news:6gdEJOl8...@g3snx.demon.co.uk.invalid...
>> > Stanley Unwin:
>> I loved it when he was wheeled out to explain some complicated new
>> scientific discovery . . .
>> --
>
>He was brilliant - and he was actually a BBC engineer who spoke like that to
>amuse his colleagues, until a producer overheard him . .
>
>It was his Guiness ad that thirst caught my attention:
>
>"Tooten the glarpss - pursen de lippers, and a beautiful floam down the
>throakus to warm the cocklode of the heart-springs!"
>
>With me and my mates at school it was Spoonerisms and puns. We used to mive
>the dreachers tad, we did!
>
I didn't realise his origins, but he was so convincing....
We had to behave oneself at school, us did!
nemo
"Gordon H" <Gor...@g3snx.demon.co.uk.invalid> wrote in message
the language apart in revenge!
Even at prize days, when we had to sing Widdycombe Fair, we sang, "Uncle
Tom's cobblers and all . . " and in Riding Down from Bangor, we sung the
final word, "beard" at the end of each verse because it was at the end of
the score after a double bar line because it was on a different note in the
last verse.
jim...@schofield.com
Steve
On Fri, 3 Apr 2020 07:00:50 -0700 (PDT),
jim...@schofield.com wrote:
>
> THIS IS NOT A RONNIE BARKER SKETCH!! Has the world gone crazy? There was no BBC airing in the 70s other than the great spoonerism sketch. When you receive rubbish like this, CHECK YOUR FACTS!!
Do try and keep up!
