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Re: John Lennon's Silly Stuff
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David Mackey
Mar 13, 2021, 9:40:03 PM3/13/21
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On Thursday, December 7, 2000 at 3:00:00 AM UTC-5, xxxEDxxx wrote:
> I WANDERED
> On balmy seas and pernie schooners
> On strivers and warming things
> In a peanut coalshed clad
> I wandered happy as a jew
> To meet good Doris King.
> Past grisby trees and hulky builds
> Past ratters and bradder sheep
> In a resus baby stooped
> I wandered hairy as a dog
> To get a goobites sleep
> Down hovey lanes and stoney claves
> Down ricketts and sticklys myth
> In a fatty hebrew gurth
> I wandered humply as a sock
> To meet bad Bernie Smith
> -- John Lennon, 1964
>
> THE GENERAL ERECETION
> Azue orl gnome, Harassed Wilsod won the General Erection, with a very small
> marjorie over then Torchies. Thus pudding the Larbouring Partly back into
> powell after a large abcess. This he could not done withoutspan the barking
> of thee Trade Onions, heady by Frenk Cunnings (who noun has a SAFE SEAT in
> Nuneating thank you Fronk (only 62) Bowels hasn't).
> Sir Alice Doubtless-Whom was - quote - 'bitherly dithapointed' but managed
> to keep smirking on his 500,000 acre estate in Scotland with a bit of
> fishing and that.
> The Torchies (now in apperition) have still the capable qualities of such
> disable men as Rabbit Bunload and the very late Harrods McMillion. What, you
> arsk, happened to Answerme Enos (ex Prim Minicar) after that Suez pudding,
> peaple are saying. Well I don't know.
> We must not forget the great roles played out by Huge Foot and Dingie in
> capturing a vote or tomb. We must not forget Mrs Wilsod showing her toilets
> on telly. We must not forget Mr Caravans loving smile on Budgie Day as he
> raised the price of Old Age Pests. We must not forget Mr Caravans lovely
> smile when he raised the price of M.P.s (Mentals of Parliament) wagers as
> well also. We must not forget Joke Grimmace (LIB). We must not forget to
> issue clogs to all the G.P. Ostment who are foing great things somewhere and
> also we must not forget to Post Early for Christsake.
> Lastly but not priest, we must not forget to put the clocks back when we
> all get bombed. Harold.
> -- John Lennon, 1965
>
> BENJAMAN DISTASTEFUL
> Benjaman halted his grave flow of speach and lug off a cigarf he knew where
> peeky boon! He wretched overy and berlin all the tootdes.
> 'It were all nok a limpcheese then work ferce bottle Ai warp a grale
> regrowth on, withy boorly replenishamatsaty troop, and harlas wedreally to
> fight. We're save King of pampices when all the worm here me aid.' I
> inadvertabably an unobtrusive neyber had looke round and seen a lot of
> goings off, you know how they are. Anywart, I say get a battleyard pussload,
> ye scrurry navvy, I beseige of all my bogglephart, way with his kind farleny
> and grevey crawlers. But Benjaman was a rather man for all I cared. I eyed
> he looking, 'Ben' I cried 'You are rather man.' He looked at me hardly with
> a brown trowel. 'I known' he said, 'but I do a steady thirsty.' I were
> overwhelped with heem grate knowalge, you darn't offer mead and monk with
> all these nobody, I thought. A man like he shall haff all the bodgy poodles
> in his hands. 'Curse ye baldy butters, and Ai think its a pritty poreshow
> when somebottle of my statue has a place yongslave on my deposite.'
> 'Why - why?' I cribble all tawdry in my best sydneys.
> To this day I'll never know.
> -- John Lennon, 1965
>
> --
> :o)
> xxxEDxxx
> P.S. The above poem and stories were actually copied from the genuine John
> Lennon books, "In His Own Write" ('64) and "A Spaniard In The Works" ('65)
> which my mum still has from way back when she was a Beatles fan.
> They were copied as accurately as possible, and, without actually going as
> far as painstakingly comparing each and every word I'd written with those in
> the book, I can be 99% sure that all "mystakes"/"typos" are exactly as was
> written in the books (and, presumably, intentional in order to make it sound
> silly).
> I'm sure you'll all agree that he shouldn't have been shot, and that he
> should be here today sharing silly stuff with us in this group. Ah well, at
> least we can remember him for the things that he did do....
> I WANDERED
> On balmy seas and pernie schooners
> On strivers and warming things
> In a peanut coalshed clad
> I wandered happy as a jew
> To meet good Doris King.
> Past grisby trees and hulky builds
> Past ratters and bradder sheep
> In a resus baby stooped
> I wandered hairy as a dog
> To get a goobites sleep
> Down hovey lanes and stoney claves
> Down ricketts and sticklys myth
> In a fatty hebrew gurth
> I wandered humply as a sock
> To meet bad Bernie Smith
> -- John Lennon, 1964
>
> THE GENERAL ERECETION
> Azue orl gnome, Harassed Wilsod won the General Erection, with a very small
> marjorie over then Torchies. Thus pudding the Larbouring Partly back into
> powell after a large abcess. This he could not done withoutspan the barking
> of thee Trade Onions, heady by Frenk Cunnings (who noun has a SAFE SEAT in
> Nuneating thank you Fronk (only 62) Bowels hasn't).
> Sir Alice Doubtless-Whom was - quote - 'bitherly dithapointed' but managed
> to keep smirking on his 500,000 acre estate in Scotland with a bit of
> fishing and that.
> The Torchies (now in apperition) have still the capable qualities of such
> disable men as Rabbit Bunload and the very late Harrods McMillion. What, you
> arsk, happened to Answerme Enos (ex Prim Minicar) after that Suez pudding,
> peaple are saying. Well I don't know.
> We must not forget the great roles played out by Huge Foot and Dingie in
> capturing a vote or tomb. We must not forget Mrs Wilsod showing her toilets
> on telly. We must not forget Mr Caravans loving smile on Budgie Day as he
> raised the price of Old Age Pests. We must not forget Mr Caravans lovely
> smile when he raised the price of M.P.s (Mentals of Parliament) wagers as
> well also. We must not forget Joke Grimmace (LIB). We must not forget to
> issue clogs to all the G.P. Ostment who are foing great things somewhere and
> also we must not forget to Post Early for Christsake.
> Lastly but not priest, we must not forget to put the clocks back when we
> all get bombed. Harold.
> -- John Lennon, 1965
>
> BENJAMAN DISTASTEFUL
> Benjaman halted his grave flow of speach and lug off a cigarf he knew where
> peeky boon! He wretched overy and berlin all the tootdes.
> 'It were all nok a limpcheese then work ferce bottle Ai warp a grale
> regrowth on, withy boorly replenishamatsaty troop, and harlas wedreally to
> fight. We're save King of pampices when all the worm here me aid.' I
> inadvertabably an unobtrusive neyber had looke round and seen a lot of
> goings off, you know how they are. Anywart, I say get a battleyard pussload,
> ye scrurry navvy, I beseige of all my bogglephart, way with his kind farleny
> and grevey crawlers. But Benjaman was a rather man for all I cared. I eyed
> he looking, 'Ben' I cried 'You are rather man.' He looked at me hardly with
> a brown trowel. 'I known' he said, 'but I do a steady thirsty.' I were
> overwhelped with heem grate knowalge, you darn't offer mead and monk with
> all these nobody, I thought. A man like he shall haff all the bodgy poodles
> in his hands. 'Curse ye baldy butters, and Ai think its a pritty poreshow
> when somebottle of my statue has a place yongslave on my deposite.'
> 'Why - why?' I cribble all tawdry in my best sydneys.
> To this day I'll never know.
> -- John Lennon, 1965
>
> --
> :o)
> xxxEDxxx
> P.S. The above poem and stories were actually copied from the genuine John
> Lennon books, "In His Own Write" ('64) and "A Spaniard In The Works" ('65)
> which my mum still has from way back when she was a Beatles fan.
> They were copied as accurately as possible, and, without actually going as
> far as painstakingly comparing each and every word I'd written with those in
> the book, I can be 99% sure that all "mystakes"/"typos" are exactly as was
> written in the books (and, presumably, intentional in order to make it sound
> silly).
> I'm sure you'll all agree that he shouldn't have been shot, and that he
> should be here today sharing silly stuff with us in this group. Ah well, at
> least we can remember him for the things that he did do....
David Mackey
Mar 13, 2021, 9:41:24 PM3/13/21
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