The final word on recent scandalous topics

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Jesse Garon

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Mar 1, 1997, 3:00:00 AM3/1/97
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Much has been made of late of the party which Alexandra and her sister
did host for many of the local participants in our gossiping circle, and
many have wondered of the events that did transpire at said event, for
Judith and Jeff and Bundy have spread such stories as to harrow the minds
of many of you with fear and wonder.

We have been circumspect in regard to the truth of what happened that
evening, which has led to much speculation and scurrilous rumor. But
the time for such slander has passed, and it is time that the truth of
the evening be told.

Alexandra and her sister were, one must say, most gracious hosts, and did
present their guests with a variety of rich foods and drinks. I must admit
that I did avail myself of generous portions of all that was presented to
the assembled throng, as as it happened I partook of more than I was able
to adequately process in the normal manner. And so I found myself in the
bathroom, attempting to dispose of these marvelous foodstuffs by means
which can only be described as extracurricular. Another partygoer took
pity upon me in my moment of need, and for the assistance that was offered
I was tremendously grateful.

But much has been made of that event, and those who did not witness it
have assigned to it connotations which are vulgar and false. Until now,
I have been content to criticize them for their slanderous accusations
without bringing up the embarassing circumstances of my plight, but my
attackers have been relentless in their assault, and I fear that many of
you have an untrue impression of what happened that night.

It is time to put an end to the mystery and the speculation surrounding
this party. The ignoble truth is that I ate and drank too much and puked
up that which I had consumed. A humbling experience, you may be sure, but
not one which warrants further discussion now that it has been revealed. I
hope that this explanation puts an end to all the monstrous rumours and
lies which have been told, and that we all may move on to more genuinely
interesting topics than the contents of my digestive tract.

In case anybody was wondering, I could clearly recognize the mushrooms,
which retained their basic form even upon regurgitation. Quite
interesting, really; I'm always fascinated by which foodstuffs become mush
and which retain their shape when retracing their journey through the
esophagus and the mouth back into the world outside the mortal realm.

"Jesse Garon": the God damnedest mass of tact known to the human race
---------------------------------------------------------------------
gri...@primenet.com http://www.primenet.com/~grifter/jesse.html


Patricia Steward

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Mar 1, 1997, 3:00:00 AM3/1/97
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In a previous article, gri...@primenet.com ('Jesse Garon') says:
>
>We have been circumspect in regard to the truth of what happened that
>evening, which has led to much speculation and scurrilous rumor. But
>the time for such slander has passed, and it is time that the truth of
>the evening be told.

Coming from the viewpoint of someone who wasn't there and has tried to
remain fairly neutral on the subject, I gotta ask: why do you care so
much about what people *think* happened?

I mean, really. So what?

--
"I myself have never been able to find out precisely what feminism is; I
only know that people call me a feminist whenever I express sentiments that
differentiate me from a doormat or a prostitute." Rebecca West, 1913

Alexandra

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Mar 1, 1997, 3:00:00 AM3/1/97
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On 1 Mar 1997 02:12:03 -0700, gri...@primenet.com ('Jesse Garon')
wrote:

(Shit!)

I obviously haven't been around for awhile. Here it is March 1st and
you are *still* fucking talking about the goddamn party? Fuck! Get the
fuck over it.
I've probably lost one of the best friends I ever had because of the
shit that's happened in here. I'm taking a fucking breather from ASG.
If the motto is "ASG. Only The Strong Survive," than I ain't strong
enough...

Kisses,
Alexandra
ะฯ^Qเกฑ


Marc Lostracco

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Mar 1, 1997, 3:00:00 AM3/1/97
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In article <1997Mar1.1...@lafn.org>, bc...@lafn.org (Patricia
Steward) wrote:

> In a previous article, gri...@primenet.com ('Jesse Garon') says:
> >
> >We have been circumspect in regard to the truth of what happened that
> >evening, which has led to much speculation and scurrilous rumor. But
> >the time for such slander has passed, and it is time that the truth of
> >the evening be told.
>
> Coming from the viewpoint of someone who wasn't there and has tried to
> remain fairly neutral on the subject, I gotta ask: why do you care so
> much about what people *think* happened?

And why didn't you just say, "Um, sorry guys, I was in the bathroom
puking" in the first place rather than prolong it?! It would probably
have saved you much of the grief you are so touchy about, unless the ego
feed was more important. Clearing it up was the right thing to do, but
you're a little late for many of us to feel sorry for you.

--
Marc Lostracco
ef...@interlog.com
www.interlog.com/~efar

Font of all Important Info ;

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Mar 1, 1997, 3:00:00 AM3/1/97
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In <33187783...@nntp.ix.netcom.com> net...@ix.netcom.com

{{{Alexandra}}} =) call me if you need me, k? :*
--
...a pistol-hot cup of Dez...

The world looks a lot different when you're six inches tall and covered with feathers!
--The Tick


Jesse Garon

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Mar 1, 1997, 3:00:00 AM3/1/97
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ef...@interlog.comDELETE-THIS-TO-MAIL-ME (Marc Lostracco) writes:

>> Patrica Steward wrote:
>> In a previous article, gri...@primenet.com ('Jesse Garon') says:
>> >We have been circumspect in regard to the truth of what happened that
>> >evening, which has led to much speculation and scurrilous rumor. But
>> >the time for such slander has passed, and it is time that the truth of
>> >the evening be told.

>> Coming from the viewpoint of someone who wasn't there and has tried to
>> remain fairly neutral on the subject, I gotta ask: why do you care so
>> much about what people *think* happened?

It's not so much caring about what they think happened as it was a
realization that we'd gone through all of February bickering about
this topic and I didn't really want to spend much of March talking
about it as well.

>And why didn't you just say, "Um, sorry guys, I was in the bathroom
>puking" in the first place rather than prolong it?! It would probably
>have saved you much of the grief you are so touchy about, unless the ego
>feed was more important. Clearing it up was the right thing to do, but
>you're a little late for many of us to feel sorry for you.

I'm not interested in sympathy. I'm interested in having people drop
the whole matter -- which has been my main interest all along, as an
excursion through DejaNews would easily reveal. As for why I didn't
come clean sooner, I have to confess that the various rumors of sexual
outlawdom that Judith, Jeff and others attributed to me incorrectly
were a bit more glamorous than puking in the toilet. It's not exactly
something I'd have cared to trumpet from the rooftops, as I'm sure you
can understand.

Now CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SOME FUCKING SHOWBIZ GOSSIP? I, for one, am anxious
to get this Moira Kelly question settled so I can decide whether or not to
ask her on a date.

Jesse Garon

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Mar 1, 1997, 3:00:00 AM3/1/97
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li...@mail.tdl.com (lea bob ) writes:
>damn. and here i was, thinking that someone fucking in the bathroom
>made it *truly* the epitome of asg trailer-park-partydom.

>now you've ruined my illusions...

Well, you know, the Oscars(R) are coming up. Perhaps you could have
me over to your house and we could have sex in your bathroom. I'll
just have to make sure to restrain myself at the buffet this time.
After all, I've got a reputation to live up to now, so it's probably
about time I started living up to it.

Hi, Philip! *grin*

lea bob

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Mar 2, 1997, 3:00:00 AM3/2/97
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gri...@primenet.com ('Jesse Garon') wrote:

>to adequately process in the normal manner. And so I found myself in the
>bathroom, attempting to dispose of these marvelous foodstuffs by means
>which can only be described as extracurricular. Another partygoer took
>pity upon me in my moment of need, and for the assistance that was offered
>I was tremendously grateful.

damn. and here i was, thinking that someone fucking in the bathroom


made it *truly* the epitome of asg trailer-park-partydom.

now you've ruined my illusions...

lea bob
#39


Chris Pisarra

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Mar 4, 1997, 3:00:00 AM3/4/97
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Alexandra presented to the world:
: I obviously haven't been around for awhile. Here it is March 1st and

: you are *still* fucking talking about the goddamn party? Fuck! Get the
: fuck over it.
: I've probably lost one of the best friends I ever had because of the
: shit that's happened in here. I'm taking a fucking breather from ASG.
: If the motto is "ASG. Only The Strong Survive," than I ain't strong
: enough...
:
: Kisses,
: Alexandra
: ะฯ^Qเกฑ

To: net...@ix.netcom.com (Alexandra)
Subject: Re: The final word on recent scandalous topics
Newsgroups: alt.showbiz.gossip


Alexandra

I'm not really sure that it is the strong who survive on ASG. It
is starting to look like the survivors are the ones who don't have a life
and need to create a simulation of one on the net--the strong just get on
with reality.

This idiotic bullshit regarding the party is a prime example.
Nothing of cosmic importance happened--whether or not Jesse screwed
****** just doesn't matter in the grand scale of things, but too many
people have nothing better to do but worry about it, and Jesse is
incapable of letting it go; he needs to respond to *every* post, and that
just keeps the debate alive. He will rise to the bait every time, and
it's just too easy a target for people to ignore.

Further debates about the use of capitals, the acceptance of fat
people, and political correctness in general are just the feeble attempts
of people with no life outside the net to create issues where there is no
substance.

I don't know what has happened to cost you a friend, but what a
sad thing to happen over such a petty issue. A newsgroup is entertainment,
not life. Sometimes I think we forget that.

I like you, kid. I want to see good things happen for you.
Consider that you may well be too strong for ASG, not too weak. You just
have a better developed sense of what is important than many of the
people who live in their electronic dream world.

Come back when you can--we'll miss you.

Chris

--
Chris Pisarra pis...@ccnet.com

Any questions? Any answers? Any rags, any bones, any bottles today?
------Groucho Marx

Chris Pisarra

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Mar 5, 1997, 3:00:00 AM3/5/97
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[ Article reposted from alt.showbiz.gossip ]
[ Author was Chris Pisarra ]
[ Posted on 4 Mar 1997 09:57:04 -0800 ]

This didn't seem to be getting through, so I am reposting. Sorry
if you get it twice.

Chris
=========


Alexandra

Chris

--
Chris Pisarra pis...@ccnet.com

--
Chris Pisarra pis...@ccnet.com

Very funny, Scotty. Now beam down my clothes.

Jesse Garon

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Mar 8, 1997, 3:00:00 AM3/8/97
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pis...@ccnet.com (Chris Pisarra) writes:
> This idiotic bullshit regarding the party is a prime example.
<snip>
>...too many

>people have nothing better to do but worry about it, and Jesse is
>incapable of letting it go; he needs to respond to *every* post, and that
>just keeps the debate alive. He will rise to the bait every time...

Will NOT. Will not will not will not. Nyaah.

> I don't know what has happened to cost you a friend, but what a
>sad thing to happen over such a petty issue. A newsgroup is entertainment,
>not life. Sometimes I think we forget that.

There is no such thing as entertainment separated from life. Every choice
of entertainment is a moral one, and should be treated as such. Of course
you're free to choose the outline of your own morality, but don't think
for a second that entertainment is a step outside one's responsibilities.

T.-and-...@worldnet.att.net

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Mar 9, 1997, 3:00:00 AM3/9/97
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'Jesse Garon' wrote:
>

> There is no such thing as entertainment separated from life.

Which, as you don't seem to grasp, is why some of us think it's
perfectly appropriate to gossip about you in this very newsgroup,
'Jesse.'

Jesse Garon

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Mar 9, 1997, 3:00:00 AM3/9/97
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T.-and-...@worldnet.att.net writes:

Showbiz is a subset of entertainment; entertainment is larger
than showbiz. I can be entertaining without being in showbiz.

T.-and-...@worldnet.att.net

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Mar 9, 1997, 3:00:00 AM3/9/97
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'Jesse Garon' wrote:
>
> T.-and-...@worldnet.att.net writes:
>
> >'Jesse Garon' wrote:
> >> There is no such thing as entertainment separated from life.
>
> >Which, as you don't seem to grasp, is why some of us think it's
> >perfectly appropriate to gossip about you in this very newsgroup,
> >'Jesse.'
>
> Showbiz is a subset of entertainment; entertainment is larger
> than showbiz. I can be entertaining without being in showbiz.

I'm not convinced you can be entertaining in *or* out of showbiz -- or
in or out of a bathroom -- but if it'll shut you up for a minute or two,
I'm prepared to pretend I am. Deal?

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