The WHOLE story (if you want it)

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Jul 9, 1999, 3:00:00 AM7/9/99
Thanks to everyone who responded to the message, and especially to whoever
it was that noted that Kerskine's "entire usenet output" was stalking me.
(Although, my research has shown he posts to alt.mag.playgirl all the time,
too - scary, huh?)

So, it's not for Kerskine that I'm doing this, but for myself and for all of
you who were nice enough to treat me like a person.

First, though, to correct a misperception: when I was at UT I posted to ASG
all the time (and even had a ridiculous thread going-at least 5 years
ago-trying to make myself more important-of course, long before I could ever
imagine I actually *would* be marginally important tot he group! Ah, but I
was 17 or 18 then...) So I'm not exactly new...though I am back after a
long hiatus.

Okay, I was working two jobs AND as an unpaid intern at local Austin station
Majic 95.5 (I used to have to get up at 3:00am in the morning, then go to
school at 8:00am and then to work at 2:00pm - it was crazy!) then one night
my roommate woke me up to tell me about the Olympic Bombing (this was 1996).
I ended up being the only person who could cover the tragedy and somebody
really liked me, because a week later there was a story in the
Austin-American Statesman about me.

Well, one thing led to another, and I ended up being the youngest person in
Texas to ever helm an entire station (KJCE, the "Juice") and became a kind
of mid-grade media sensation. My roommate at the time used to get so pissed
off when he'd open the XLent magazine each week and find another feature on
me, a story about me, a profile on me, etc. in the radio section. Two real
highlights were being named Jane Grieg (the "answer" lady)'s most memorable
story of 1996, and being named one of the "5 Who Make Waves in Radio" in

But things weren't so hot back at the ranch. I had basically been handed all
of this by my benevolent "uncle" Stan, the operations director of
Majic/Mix/Juice, and I soon learned that it was hell to "owe" him. He was a
grade A slimeball - though I must admit an incredibly talented radio
executive, and a charismatic leader. His slimeball qualities came from a
complete lack of tact or professionality.

At one programming meeting, we had a "pop quiz" which asked us which station
was the first....whatever...our choices being the correct one, and others
such as "KRAP" "KCUM" and "KOME" - He regularly greeted me by pinching my
nipple, and he would do things like threaten to by my station (the only
black station in town at the time) a "white bronco" to be called the "Juice
mobile" (which would bring protests from any of my listeners everytime they
heard the rumor). While others were getting critiqued for their talent, I
was constantly being berated for being "too smart and educated" and not
"black" enough (as if they were opposites) and other such stuff.

During this time, this man also had an employee, who he let everyone else
know he was going to fire, start driving out to his house to walk his dog
several times during the day. I was asked, but I declined. After
successfully painting HER as crazy to the rest of the staff, he fired her
the day before her birthday, the weekend of Christmas. It was disgusting.

Well, an event and argument did occur, in which some highly inappropriate
things were said and responded to (by him to me) and that night I felt sick
to my stomach thinking about going back into work. At the time, I was the
ONLY black programming staff person for the entire station, so I felt an
obligation to stay, but every time I thought about going back to work, I
actually felt dirty and physically ill.

He did NOT rape me. He was gay, and constantly let me know that. Did he
come on to me? Not in any overt manner. That would have been nothing new,
getting come onto by a male co-worker is hardly something that could or
would drive me to quit the best job I'd ever had.

So that night around 3:00 I went in and cleared out my desk, wrote a very
impassioned letter of resignation, and left voice mail for every person
who'd supported my career there and never looked back.

I received several calls seeking the "dirt" - from media and competitors. I
received some GREAT offers, but the idea of working in radio to this day
sickens me. I suffered a pretty extended period of un- and semi-employment
and had many subsequent financial difficulties. I also suffered a
reoccurrence of bi-polar depression. Basically, the whole situation left
me shaken and insolvent and for someone who had been so young and idealistc
when the whole thing started, and who had certainly enjoyed the "fame and
glory," I was devastated and poor - pretty traumatizing.

I went back to school, but was pretty unsteady. I did NOT get committed to
Charter for an extended period of time. (I did spend one night there during
the observation and diagnosis of my bi-polar disorder - voluntary and
short - the way all such "visits" should be!)

The story never quite went away, so I dropped out of UT and moved to Kansas
to stay with my parents for a while - and to unwind in the tranquil farm and
ranch town they live in. It's been relaxing and wonderful, and I've started
working as a freelance writer. I'm finishing my degree by e-mail and
correspondence, and I am doing much better.

See, while all the elements Kerskine promised you are there, it was hardly
that sexy a story - just traumatizing, and the rumors of rape and mental
breakdowns, etc. really just made it worse.

Well, how's that for catharsis.

Hope we can all get back to the gossip now!


p.s. Am I gay? Well, never you fear, this was a hotly debated question in
many circles while this was all going down. Well, that much I will keep to
myself (don't you guys enjoy wondering about celebrities more than you like
knowing anyway??? Don't lie - I see more R. Martin/R. Gere/T. Cruise than I
ever see any Rupert Everett!) but if there's one thing I learned for sure,
it's that anythings fair game if you frequent Oilcan Harry's (!) and thanks
to ASG, I now know it's almost a compliment if you have the toungues
wagging. I wouldn't change it for the world!

And, yes, I did used to be a stripper in Austin - but not when I was at the
station....there, now you have it all!



Jul 10, 1999, 3:00:00 AM7/10/99
Oh, but I can pull my weight in the group...over the time I was "somebody"
:-) I had the chance to work daily with the Tom Joyner Morning Show and Doug
Banks Show hosts and crews, and some of their many guests (Will Smith, Rosie
Perez, etc.). I played hosts to the Dallas Cowboys not once, but twice, and
had a "so-out-there-it's-comical" interview with the R&B group, TOTAL once.

So many stories...and you have welcomed me, you will hear them all,
but I shall parcel them out, so as to always be beloved to you. (Sprinkle
little colored glass pieces across the virtual room as I leave the room...)


I guess sometimes it pays to have "used" to be a celebrity.


BEB <> wrote in message


Jul 10, 1999, 3:00:00 AM7/10/99
Hey, Michelle-
"Stalking" was used loosely, by another poster, to describe a poster who
came on to ASG and started a couple threads solely devoted to the "scandal"
(IMO, also used loosely) that I was involved in.

Then, he happened upon the fact that I was on the net and basically
campaigned to get me to either "spill" or leave ASG. I chose to leave.
After some really great posts (a LONG thread elsewhere on ASG) debating
whether I should just tell it all (it's not that glamourous) and let it all
rest convinced me to just do so.

That is why the post above is there and hopefully it is now over, but the
last thing, after all of this, that I want, is yet another person jumping on
me in yet another thread for finally *telling* it all, after all that I went
through for *not* telling it.

michelle <> wrote in message
> X-No-Archive: yes
> If someone is stalking you and they know your identity, why are you
> prolonging this by posting all of this personal information about
> yourself on USENET???
> <most of irrelevant personal info work history snipped>

> BEB <> wrote in message
> news:7m6fn6$


Jul 10, 1999, 3:00:00 AM7/10/99
Whoa...listen bitch...before you go deciding what people in this newsgroup
want to hear and don't want to hear I suggest you read the group. I
personally, have been trying to track down this story for a while and have
asked my ASG cohorts to help out.

Then old Ben here wouldn't post unless others indicated an interest, too.
Many others did (even some who were of the "your business" school still said
they were interested) ALL ON THIS GROUP.

I realize that Ben isn't an "important" celebrity to you, but I'm from
Austin, where he was a celeb and since Austin is the "San Francisco of the
Southwest" I would guess several others here are too. So why don't you
share a high horse with all the others who try to tell the group that "this
isn't real gossip" and ride off into the sunset, huh?

Ben Bryant was a celeb, involved in a scandal, there were rumors. Sounds
like ASG to me!!! (And thank God for it!) Plus, we did once host a "which
Austin local TV and Radio personalities are gay" thread a few years back
which no one seemed to have a problem with (and, YES, Ben was on the maybe
list, even then... :-O

So if you don't like this thread, there's one about Ricky Martin around the
corner, don't let the taskbar hit you on the way out.


(Engaging cloaking device, returning to where I am happiest...lurking)

michelle <> wrote in message
> X-No-Archive: yes
> If someone is stalking you and they know your identity, why are you
> prolonging this by posting all of this personal information about
> yourself on USENET???
> <most of irrelevant personal info work history snipped>
> BEB <> wrote in message
> news:7m6fn6$

Terence P Higgins

Jul 12, 1999, 3:00:00 AM7/12/99
From article <7m6fn6$>, by "BEB" <>:

> First, though, to correct a misperception: when I was at UT I posted to ASG

look at meee mommy
I mean, if I went 'round saying I was an emperor
just because some moistened bint had lobbed a scimitar at me,
they'd put me away!

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