Life under the moss-covered rock
cyn########
Yes, me again. Apologies for, er, dropping in than vanishing. Again.
<cough> Anyway, I had a bit of an unexpected surprise on a small
project that ballooned into a major headache -- which, I've now been
able to put off for a few months, but I'm still a bit snarly, and
grumpy, over it. Grrr. Don't ask!
I'm a bit leery of posting after a long absence, (a couple of years
counts, right?), but I did mention something about a "What have I been
up to" type post...and it would be remiss of me to not at least
follow-up on that. Er...just cut me some slack, okay? I'm not really
used to posting, anymore, so it's taking a bit of, umm, "gee, how do I
write this, and is anyone even interested?!?", and my fingers refuse
to cooperate by typing out whatever comes to mind.
(My monolithic ego assumes that there's people out there who may have
a small degree of curiousity regarding my whereabouts the last lil
while...feel free to offer dissent ...<g>...)
Er, I'm going to assume y'all remember who I am...? <waves
tentatively to my fan club of one>
If not..."Yo! Lurker!! Cyn#'s a nut!!"...will do as a cynopsis. ;-)
Arrrgh. I _told_ you, I'm not used to posting anymore! Especially
when I've no idea who's in the audience.
Hmmm. Well, I guess I'll just list the main events since I was a
regular poster. Not sure how to make a good read of it, so I'll just
spit it out, and y'all can comment, or not. <shrug> Bear in mind,
most events are history, and I'm mostly over it.
1. My father died near the end of 2007. There were a lot of health
issues prior to this, so it wasn't unexpected -- and yet, it was a
suprise. My reactions to his death, anyway. Er, at best, our
relationship was...difficult. There was a lot of bad energy between
us, mixed up with obligation, and duty...and....<big sigh>. It's hard
to explain. I didn't/don't feel "loss" so much as I found...my
perceptions changing. Even now, I kinda gloss over it, leave it
unexamined...but a lot of my self-imagery, sense of failure, is tied
in with him, rightly or wrongly.
(I thought about the shoes during this time...)
2. I've moved away from the little town I grew up in and am now a
resident of the Greater Toronto Area, (GTA), so I can proudly pretend
that yes, I do live in the centre of the universe. (Inside joke to
Canucks). It's kinda fun. I can finally, (legitimately), complain
about the idiot city, and how tax dollars are wasted in the most
inappropriate ways. Traffic is horrible. I'm actually living close
to one of the "poorer" regions, which is interesting...people are
definitely less happy than I'm used to. (Oh, and I occasionally worry
about getting shot, but that's more because I'm really NOT used to the
"big city". Just because all the local malls I've visited have had
shootings is pure coincidence!) No, seriously -- it's all relative!
Life is not that bad in the GTA, but an adjustment after about 30
years in the small town. I love the anonymity.
3. Lost a huge chunk of money in the stock crash. Still depressed
over this one! Ugh. Very depressed. <rolling eyes> Me and
depression are not a good mix. :P Suffice to say, a few of those
days I think I really understood why folks in the Great Depression
were walking off of skyscrapers. (Oh, yeah, so _this_ is how they
felt...!) Ugh. Anyway. I'm not fiscally vulnerable, so I managed to
get over it. <shaking my head>
So...well, there you have it. (I think). Most of the major life
events of the last two years, or so. If you read between the lines,
yes, there's a bit more to it...but, there's the synopsis. I'm not
looking for sympathy, or anything....just thought I'd update y'all on
what's been happening with me. I'm not sure if it really explains my
absence -- that had more to do with me withdrawing from people, in
general...
I'm not sure I'll be a regular poster again...I hope to...even if it
means I'm alone here, talking to my selves...! ;-) But, I'm
probably a bit more serious, less the fluffhead I may have been. Fair
warning, folks!
Um...well...I guess that's all for now. Erm, I'll try to be more
interesting, next time!
cyn#
so-not-the-drama shoes
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felice
> Hi Folks!
> Yes, me again.
Yayyyyyyyyyyy! 8)
> Apologies for, er, dropping in than vanishing. Again.
Far better than not dropping in at all.
*stares meaningfully at various lurkers* ;)
> <cough> Anyway, I had a bit of an unexpected surprise on a small
> project that ballooned into a major headache -- which, I've now been
> able to put off for a few months
That's something, at least.
> I'm a bit leery of posting after a long absence, (a couple of years
> counts, right?)
Yes, that is a fair while. But you're hardly the only offender in that
regard - I suspect my silence was even longer.
> Er...just cut me some slack, okay? I'm not really
> used to posting, anymore, so it's taking a bit of, umm, "gee, how do I
> write this, and is anyone even interested?!?", and my fingers refuse
> to cooperate by typing out whatever comes to mind.
Consider it cut, stacked in a neat pile, and the offcuts all swept up
and placed in the recycling bin (the SubGenii will pay good money for
the stuff).
> Er, I'm going to assume y'all remember who I am...? <waves
> tentatively to my fan club of one>
Well, the combined forces of you and the floozies and other assorted
cyn#s quite possibly outnumber the card-carrying members of your fan
club, even without incorporating the CKs (though it's debatable whether
they should be counted as objects or members of the club anyway), but
I'm pretty sure you're underestimating the membership.
> If not..."Yo! Lurker!! Cyn#'s a nut!!"...will do as a cynopsis. ;-)
*groans* Bad Cyn#.
> 1. My father died near the end of 2007. There were a lot of health
> issues prior to this, so it wasn't unexpected -- and yet, it was a
> suprise. My reactions to his death, anyway. Er, at best, our
> relationship was...difficult.
I'm very sorry to hear that. It can't have been at all pleasant, even
with mixed feelings... I suspect losing someone you have a complicated
relationship with can be just as difficult as someone you simply care about.
> (I thought about the shoes during this time...)
I'm sorry we weren't around 8( Really lousy timing for the group's
longest ever hiatus...
> 2. I've moved away from the little town I grew up in and am now a
> resident of the Greater Toronto Area, (GTA), so I can proudly pretend
> that yes, I do live in the centre of the universe. (Inside joke to
> Canucks). It's kinda fun.
Fun is good. I find it hard to imagine living in a little town (though
anywhere in NZ probably qualifies as "little" by international standards)
> Traffic is horrible.
Is the public transport any good?
> I'm actually living close
> to one of the "poorer" regions, which is interesting...people are
> definitely less happy than I'm used to.
Do you think that's a poverty thing or a city thing?
> (Oh, and I occasionally worry
> about getting shot, but that's more because I'm really NOT used to the
> "big city". Just because all the local malls I've visited have had
> shootings is pure coincidence!)
Shot?!? Ok, you're hereby forbidden from ever going to the mall again.
> I love the anonymity.
Why does that not surprise me?
> 3. Lost a huge chunk of money in the stock crash. Still depressed
> over this one! Ugh. Very depressed. <rolling eyes>
That really sucks. Though at least you had a huge chunk of money to
lose, which is more than most people can say.
> Suffice to say, a few of those
> days I think I really understood why folks in the Great Depression
> were walking off of skyscrapers. (Oh, yeah, so _this_ is how they
> felt...!) Ugh. Anyway. I'm not fiscally vulnerable, so I managed to
> get over it. <shaking my head>
You are _sure_ you're over it, right? Or do I need to ban you from
skyscrapers too? (At this rate soon you'll be reduced to living in a
tent a hundred miles from the nearest building 8)
> I'm not looking for sympathy, or anything...
Tough, you're going to get it anyway.
}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}} Cyn# {{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{
> I'm not sure I'll be a regular poster again...I hope to...
You'd better, otherwise I shall be decidedly peeved.
> Um...well...I guess that's all for now. Erm, I'll try to be more
> interesting, next time!
*boggles* _more_ interesting?
felice
interested shoes
ellesin
So glad to see you back and posting. The high chaos that
characterized your post was lovely. I look forward to more. I'm
sorry about your father's death and your losses in the stock market,
although it sounds lovely to be "not financially vulnerable". Still,
that sucks.
The GTA is lovely, as Big Cities go, so yay for that move! and I hope
you will eventually stop worrying too much about being shot. (I did,
even on the South Side of Chicago. It eats too much energy.)
I am, surprisingly, back living on the very same peninsula in Maine
where I lived when I first found the Shoes, back in, oh dear, 1998?
Since that time I have been up and down and around and around. I have
a new girlfriend (yay!) who is a stunningly good cook/chef/bakerperson
(professionally) and takes astonishingly good care of me.
No one major has died.
I am at long last making some therapeutic progress on old stuff.
I am seeing an acupuncturist, and in large measure because of that I
have just this week begun to eat all kinds of meat again after 20
years (it's been just fish for the last five, and vegetarian before
that). It is sad to think that there may be subtle bodystuff that
requires me to do this, but I am giving it a try because nothing else
has worked.
My parish ministry is now enhanced and supplemented by a life coaching
practice which is still taking shape, but is wonderful and rewarding
and exciting work, as is learning all the stuff I need to know to run
my own business.
And I am thrilled beyond words to see this group active again, even if
I myself am more lurk-y than post-y.
Leela
April-showers-in-March shoes
Joules VC
>
>
> Hi Folks!
Joules waves madly behind the hug barrier, jumping up and down!
>
> Yes, me again. =A0Apologies for, er, dropping in than vanishing. =A0Again=
.
> <cough> =A0Anyway, I had a bit of an unexpected surprise on a small
> project that ballooned into a major headache -- which, I've now been
> able to put off for a few months,
Hmm, I have heard some describe pregnancy that way...
>
> I'm a bit leery of posting after a long absence, (a couple of years
> counts, right?), but I did mention something about a "What have I been
> up to" type post...and it would be remiss of me to not at least
> follow-up on that. =A0Er...just cut me some slack, okay? =A0I'm not reall=
y
> used to posting, anymore, so it's taking a bit of, umm, "gee, how do I
> write this, and is anyone even interested?!?", and my fingers refuse
> to cooperate by typing out whatever comes to mind.
Oh, mine type all manner of stuff, full of typos...that I do not always cat=
ch...
>
> (My monolithic ego assumes that there's people out there who may have
> a small degree of curiousity regarding my whereabouts the last lil
> while...feel free to offer dissent ...<g>...)
>
> Er, I'm going to assume y'all remember who I am...? =A0 <waves
> tentatively to my fan club of one>
>
Me, Me, me!!! <happy dance>
> If not..."Yo! =A0Lurker!! =A0Cyn#'s a nut!!"...will do as a cynopsis. =A0=
;-)
>
Giggle
> Arrrgh. =A0I _told_ you, I'm not used to posting anymore! =A0Especially
> when I've no idea who's in the audience.
me either. it is a little dark in your cave, so I cannot tell who else
is in there.
>
> Hmmm. =A0Well, I guess I'll just list the main events since I was a
> regular poster. =A0Not sure how to make a good read of it, so I'll just
> spit it out, and y'all can comment, or not. =A0<shrug> =A0Bear in mind,
> most events are history, and I'm mostly over it.
>
>
> 1. =A0My father died near the end of 2007. =A0There were a lot of health
> issues prior to this, so it wasn't unexpected -- and yet, it was a
> suprise. =A0My reactions to his death, anyway. =A0Er, at best, our
> relationship was...difficult. =A0There was a lot of bad energy between
> us, mixed up with obligation, and duty...and....<big sigh>. =A0It's hard
> to explain. =A0I didn't/don't feel "loss" so much as I found...my
> perceptions changing. =A0Even now, I kinda gloss over it, leave it
> unexamined...but a lot of my self-imagery, sense of failure, is tied
> in with him, rightly or wrongly.
>
I'm sorry. Family losses bring out a lot and it is amazing how history
and memory changes when people die.
People suddenly are put on pedestals, knocked off, etc. I am told that
losing one's parent(s) is a whole nuther level of
confusion, pain, guilt. While you can't let it become an obsession,
ignore the folks that tell you to "just get over it."
We all deal with stuff in our own way.
> (I thought about the shoes during this time...)
<sigh> I'm sorry that we were not visible. I know that I thought about
the shoes a lot and I should have done better about the whole email
thing.
>
> 2. =A0I've moved away from the little town I grew up in and am now a
> resident of the Greater Toronto Area, (GTA), so I can proudly pretend
> that yes, I do live in the centre of the universe. =A0(Inside joke to
> Canucks). =A0It's kinda fun. =A0I can finally, (legitimately), complain
> about the idiot city, and how tax dollars are wasted in the most
> inappropriate ways. =A0Traffic is horrible. =A0I'm actually living close
> to one of the "poorer" regions, which is interesting...people are
> definitely less happy than I'm used to. =A0(Oh, and I occasionally worry
> about getting shot, but that's more because I'm really NOT used to the
> "big city". =A0Just because all the local malls I've visited have had
> shootings is pure coincidence!) =A0No, seriously -- it's all relative!
<wide eyed> Shootings? SHOOTINGS!?!? Would a bullet proof vest be too
close to a hug for you?
Where the hell are the CKs? they are supposed to protect you...or are
they the ones shooting?
I don't think I have to do any cardio exercise today after that image,
thank you very much!
> Life is not that bad in the GTA, but an adjustment after about 30
> years in the small town. =A0I love the anonymity.
Watch out for anonymous floozies!
> 3. =A0Lost a huge chunk of money in the stock crash. =A0Still depressed
> over this one! =A0Ugh. =A0Very depressed. =A0<rolling eyes> =A0Me and
> depression are not a good mix. =A0:P =A0Suffice to say, a few of those
> days I think I really understood why folks in the Great Depression
> were walking off of skyscrapers. =A0(Oh, yeah, so _this_ is how they
> felt...!) =A0Ugh. =A0Anyway. =A0I'm not fiscally vulnerable, so I managed=
to
> get over it. =A0<shaking my head>
I don't think many of us escaped losing chunks, even if our chunks were sma=
ll
relative to the next person. I saved one tent when I moved just in
case I needed somewhere to live. (seriously)
>
>
> So...well, there you have it. =A0(I think). =A0Most of the major life
> events of the last two years, or so. =A0If you read between the lines,
> yes, there's a bit more to it...but, there's the synopsis. =A0I'm not
> looking for sympathy, or anything....just thought I'd update y'all on
> what's been happening with me. =A0I'm not sure if it really explains my
> absence -- that had more to do with me withdrawing from people, in
> general...
I call it my "going to ground" way of adjusting. Just remember that
talking to folks you trust is a good thing.
The folks that walked off skyscrapers did not do that. When you only
talk to yourself, it usually just reinforces all the negative stuff.
>
> I'm not sure I'll be a regular poster again...I hope to...even if it
> means I'm alone here, talking to my selves...! =A0;-) =A0 =A0But, I'm
> probably a bit more serious, less the fluffhead I may have been. =A0Fair
> warning, folks!
>
> Um...well...I guess that's all for now. =A0Erm, I'll try to be more
> interesting, next time!
You are always interesting!
>
>
> cyn#
> so-not-the-drama shoes
>
Joules
thinking cyn needs some warm fuzzy socks like mine
felice
> So glad to see you back and posting.
And you - welcome back! 8)
> I am, surprisingly, back living on the very same peninsula in Maine
> where I lived when I first found the Shoes, back in, oh dear, 1998?
Huh. And I'm back in the same suburb my family lived in quarter of a
century ago (oh gods I'm so ooooooold! ;) which I didn't expect to ever
happen.
> Since that time I have been up and down and around and around. I have
> a new girlfriend (yay!) who is a stunningly good cook/chef/bakerperson
> (professionally) and takes astonishingly good care of me.
Congrats!
> I am at long last making some therapeutic progress on old stuff.
Progress is good; long may it continue (well, running out of stuff that
needs further progress would probably be even better, but you get the idea).
> It is sad to think that there may be subtle bodystuff that
> requires me to do this, but I am giving it a try because nothing else
> has worked.
That can't be pleasant for you, but I hope it works. I'm glad my body
hasn't given any sign of objecting to a vegetarian diet yet. It probably
does object to all the dairy I still consume, but I can't live without
icecream and my partner would probably dump me if I stopped eating cheese.
> My parish ministry is now enhanced and supplemented by a life coaching
> practice which is still taking shape, but is wonderful and rewarding
> and exciting work, as is learning all the stuff I need to know to run
> my own business.
Good luck with that!
> And I am thrilled beyond words to see this group active again, even if
> I myself am more lurk-y than post-y.
Uh-uh, no lurking allowed. Once you start posting, you have to keep it
up! 8)
felice
far-too-busy-to-be-wasting-time-posting-to-usenet shoes
cyn########
that Funky Music" could be heard, heralding the presence of Joules VC
<joul...@gmail.com>, who produced these hidden messages disguised by
a buncha code:
>On Sun, Mar 28, 2010 at 6:09 PM, cyn######## <cy...@hotmail.com> wrote:
>> Hi Folks!
>
>Joules waves madly behind the hug barrier, jumping up and down!
Yikes! <backs away warily, lest the barriers fall>
>Hmm, I have heard some describe pregnancy that way...
<Splort!> <cough, splutter, wheeze>
Um...no. Just, no. No, no, no. Egads.
>> I've no idea who's in the audience.
>
>me either. it is a little dark in your cave, so I cannot tell who else
>is in there.
Well, I think one of the floozies is off yonder...not sure what she
can get up to in the dark...<g>
>>Bear in mind, most events are history, and I'm mostly over it.
>Family losses bring out a lot and it is amazing how history
>and memory changes when people die.
Yeah, that's the truth.
>> (I thought about the shoes during this time...)
><sigh> I'm sorry that we were not visible. I know that I thought about
>the shoes a lot and I should have done better about the whole email
>thing.
Oooops. My authorial intent within the parenthesis came out poorly.
What I meant was, thoughts of shoes was _comforting_.
I debated posting around this time, mostly because there's folks here
with considerably more depth and wisdom than I possess, and some of my
head space issues weren't...what I'd have imagined. A bit topsy
turvy. Obviously, the desire for privacy won out. Thinking of aslm
was more of a touchstone...I knew if I posted, I'd have a friendly
realm in which to...vent. If I needed one. That was a huge help, in
itself.
Prior to/during '07 I also spent a fair bit of effort tracking down
the, hmmm..."sensitive", "feeling"...parts of myself and doing my best
to smash them into tiny pieces. Left me a bit fractured. Rather, the
snarly, anti-social side was dominant...so, definitely unpleasant
company. Identity war/crises # 2398717. <rolling eyes>
The warm fuzzies are still a bit "off", but I'm trying to re-establish
this side, as I'm told that it could be a Good Thing(tm). (Also, the
Commando Koalas(tm) want the spotlight, again, and since other shoes
haven't written their adventures, that leaves me. <sigh>)
>> Just because all the local malls I've visited have had
>> shootings is pure coincidence!) No, seriously -- it's all relative!
>
><wide eyed> Shootings? SHOOTINGS!?!? Would a bullet proof vest be too
>close to a hug for you?
Hey -- back off!! I don't trust you with jackets of any kind,
anymore! I remember the strait jacket incident! :P
It's not that bad, honest. Toronto as a whole is probably safer than
most North American cities. It's just the area I'm in seems to have a
greater propensity for trouble. I'm pretty close to, oh, maybe five
of the latest homicides, and I literally walked by the apartment where
there was a drive-by shooting, (likely targetted hit), within a few
days of it happening. It's a bit unusual.
>Where the hell are the CKs? they are supposed to protect you...or are
>they the ones shooting?
They have somehow discovered Lady Gaga's "Just Dance". You put it
together. <wry grin>
>>....just thought I'd update y'all on
>> what's been happening with me. =A0I'm not sure if it really explains my
>> absence -- that had more to do with me withdrawing from people, in
>> general...
>
>I call it my "going to ground" way of adjusting. Just remember that
>talking to folks you trust is a good thing.
Yeah, see, that's the thing: trust. I don't, generally. I mean,
sure I'll blab all over this marvelous public forum that anyone
anywhere can access and peruse at their leisure...but actually _talk_
to someone...???! :P <rolling eyes, mocking of self>
>The folks that walked off skyscrapers did not do that.
<cough> Y'know, I finally dropped this as a viable option. It's been
at the back of my head, for years. (I seriously thought I'd have iced
myself in my mid-twenties, early thirties, at the latest.) Now, I've
passed that stage, and it's, "Huh. Now what?"
Er, I've hinted at a depressive streak, before, right? This isn't a
complete surprise...? Ah, well -- don't panic, and don't worry, it's
not relevant to me, now.
Yes, I'm SURE I'm over it. (I really don't want to live in a tent!)
>When you only
>talk to yourself, it usually just reinforces all the negative stuff.
<insane laughter> Yeah, that would be my life....
>You are always interesting!
Not according the latest email spammer! 1. (see footnote)
Now there's someone with no life! <rolling eyes>
cyn#
(hmmm. Bit too much honesty in this post, maybe)
shoes that realize usenet does have a downside
1. From webtv.net: "I am sure you are a fine, young lady, but your
letter is, shall I say, boring. Get to the point. Craig"
cyn########
>Hi, cyn#######!
>So glad to see you back and posting.
Leela, hi!
Wow, nice to see you around here, too. I just ran into some of your
old posts while checking out the archives. You were in Ottawa for a
while, right? And, you survived it -- well done! <g>
>The high chaos that characterized your post was lovely.
<snort> Hey! It does reflect my state of mind -- less chaos would be
wonderful. (Though, less amusing). <g>
>I look forward to more.
Yeah, my fan club of one has said something to that effect. <g> It's
been inflating my head, since I don't think I'm that much different
from other folks that have populated aslm. I mean that in a _good_
way...! I'm not suggesting y'all have floozie selves that throw
themselves, (with no shame whatsoever! arrgh!), at other shoes...! Or
that you live in rooms with padded walls...! Or...! <shaking my head
in bemusement>
<discreetly checks audience> Oh, wow! There's...more of you! It's
now a fan club of one, plus one, plus one, plus...oh...wait. I see.
You're all waiting to hear about the Commando Koalas(tm)...ah. Ooops.
That explains it: the CK(tm)s always draw a crowd. Carry on! ;-)
>I'm
>sorry about your father's death and your losses in the stock market,
>although it sounds lovely to be "not financially vulnerable". Still,
>that sucks.
Meh. Er, I mean, "thanks" -- but, "meh" is pretty much the standard,
gloss-over-it reaction I allow.
And, yes, I know I am very lucky to not have to worry about immediate
funding, and I really shouldn't complain. Ever since I was a kid, it
was, "Savings, savings, savings." (We were well below the poverty
line, then). So, pretty much everything got put into investing, of
one type or another.
Unfortunately, it's a bit of a habit, and I make for an un-fun shoe
since I generally don't spend on creature comforts. There's not a lot
I _want_ or _need_...so, I don't buy. And, since I don't have any
addictions, (except caffeine), the disposable income just sort of sits
around.
Maybe that's why I'm so...playful(?)...online. (Am I playful? Hmm.)
Didn't really do a lot of playing as a kid, and now it manifests
itself as an, (immature), adult. <shrug> Gotta wonder 'bout my mind,
sometimes!
I don't have a fortune, by any means...! But, I'm reasonably secure,
right now. In five years, if I haven't found a vocation of some sort,
that status quo may well be different. :-/
>The GTA is lovely, as Big Cities go, so yay for that move! and I hope
>you will eventually stop worrying too much about being shot. (I did,
>even on the South Side of Chicago. It eats too much energy.)
Lol. Okay, I may have exaggerated, somewhat! I'm still in "the
bumpkin in the city" mode, which should have folks who live in regions
with a population over 3000 laughing their heads off. I'm cautious,
being surrounded by strangers, but I've passed the stage where I eye
_everyone_ with suspician. Being able to blend in as just another
face in the crowd is...a breath of fresh air. (Er, actually, the air
quality is worse, but I suppose that'd be a given). <rolling eyes>
(I erred about one of the malls I went to -- apparently it was a
pistol-whipping that I missed by two hours, (wondered about the
helicoptors overhead), and a stabbing, over the holidays. (Of course,
it's Xmas, why not go stab someone in an attempted burglary? Bastard.)
I mean, I'm sure it had a shooting at one point, since it's right next
to a low income high rise, and the two banks have both been held
up...but that was before my time...! Gosh, hope that remains true --
I'm stopping by there, soon...eeeeek!!!) :P
The random acts of violence freak me out, a bit, after my small town
life.
Seriously, though, simply walking around the city seems much more
hazardous to one's health. The number of pedestrian fatalities,
especially earlier in the year, is shocking. Drivers are NOT anywhere
near as skilled as they should be. (I include myself in that
statement...but, generally, I manage to stay within the painted lines
and obey road rules).
On a lighter note, during one of my scavenging runs for food, one of
the kind locals was heard to shout, "Hey, honey, gimme a h-g!", as I
passed. Arrrrrrgh. He may have been slightly under the influence of
some narcotic, but sheesh! Bleep off! I mean, really, why the bloody
hell do people try to h-g me??? I am NOT h-ggable!!! <shudder>
Hmm. I think the Toronto tourist bureau is going to have words with
me. Eeek. lol. I'm painting a very poor picture of the city.
(Honestly, folks, it's a _great_ place to live. It really is, or
rather...it can be. It's just in a bit of a rut, now.) The north end
of town, where I used to hang out, is much nicer and the standard of
living is higher. It's an interesting contrast, the have/have not
areas, even within the city, and sometimes a difference of only a few
blocks, as is the case with me.
I've been idly thinking about what characterizes GTA, how to compare
it to other international cities....and all I'm coming up with, right
now, is...bland. <shakes head> I'll have to explore it as the
weather warms up.
>I am, surprisingly, back living on the very same peninsula in Maine
>where I lived when I first found the Shoes, back in, oh dear, 1998?
Full circle, eh?
It's amazing how much time has passed. I feel like it was yesterday
since I was here last, and yet it feels like forever, too.
>Since that time I have been up and down and around and around. I have
>a new girlfriend (yay!) who is a stunningly good cook/chef/bakerperson
>(professionally) and takes astonishingly good care of me.
Yay! And way ahead of me, here! :-)
>It is sad to think that there may be subtle bodystuff that
>requires me to do this, but I am giving it a try because nothing else
>has worked.
Yikes. I'll cross my fingers and toes for you. I can't imagine
living with a restricted diet, so I hope all goes well.
>My parish ministry is now enhanced and supplemented by a life coaching
>practice which is still taking shape, but is wonderful and rewarding
>and exciting work, as is learning all the stuff I need to know to run
>my own business.
Oh...fun, and interesting...can you disclose more of your business?
I'm always curious about what other folks are doing with their lives.
The "running your own business" is very challenging, and I enjoy
hearing how others find it. Hope you get more out of it than you
give! :-)
>And I am thrilled beyond words to see this group active again, even if
>I myself am more lurk-y than post-y.
Yes, well...you need to start posting more. (Felice said so!) Then,
assuming I'm spamming the group, lurkers will at least see that there
is some...balance...to aslm. It'll look better if I'm responding to
someone else's post, instead of having to start an argument with my
selves to generate discussion.
Besides, you write a good post. ;-)
Waits.
...
...
...
(Hmmm. Okay, note to selves: do not mention public disagreements --
may inspire people to run in the other direction. Check.)
Cheers,
cyn#
(okay, enough typing for tonight!)
shoes that track Canuck-friendly soles
felice
> Oooops. My authorial intent within the parenthesis came out poorly.
> What I meant was, thoughts of shoes was _comforting_.
Don't worry, it was clear you weren't complaining. It was still
unfortunate timing, though, even if nobody was at fault.
> Thinking of aslm
> was more of a touchstone...I knew if I posted, I'd have a friendly
> realm in which to...vent. If I needed one. That was a huge help, in
> itself.
*smiles*
> Prior to/during '07 I also spent a fair bit of effort tracking down
> the, hmmm..."sensitive", "feeling"...parts of myself and doing my best
> to smash them into tiny pieces.
That doesn't sound good at all 8( I hope the pieces can reintegrate
themselves... *looks concerned*
> They have somehow discovered Lady Gaga's "Just Dance". You put it
> together. <wry grin>
I hope they're not taking it as a guide to behaviour! CKs under the
influence of that much alcohol would be... worrying.
> <cough> Y'know, I finally dropped this as a viable option.
That is a relief!
> Now, I've passed that stage, and it's, "Huh. Now what?"
Travel? Broadens the mind, I'm told, and you could obviously use the
space with all those cyn#s to accommodate... (ulterior motives? moi?)
> Er, I've hinted at a depressive streak, before, right? This isn't a
> complete surprise...?
Not complete, I guess, but I didn't realise it had been quite that bad 8(
> 1. From webtv.net: "I am sure you are a fine, young lady, but your
> letter is, shall I say, boring. Get to the point. Craig"
They must have the strangest parking tickets where Craig comes from...
felice
bedtime shoes
cyn########
the world, felice <feli...@randomstatic.net> wrote:
>je 01/04/10 15:51, cyn######## skribis:
re: the infamous CK(tm)s
>> They have somehow discovered Lady Gaga's "Just Dance". You put it
>> together. <wry grin>
>
>I hope they're not taking it as a guide to behaviour! CKs under the
>influence of that much alcohol would be... worrying.
I think they've a stronger constitution than I! I've never seen them
drunkenly unruly. Unruly, plenty of times, but seldom under the
influence. Mind you, it could be the sight was so scarring that I
wiped it from my memory....
>> "Huh. Now what?"
>
>Travel? Broadens the mind, I'm told, and you could obviously use the
>space with all those cyn#s to accommodate... (ulterior motives? moi?)
NZ does have some beautiful scenery, (including yourself), if Legend
of the Seeker is anything to go by. (Cracktastic show).
>> Er, I've hinted at a depressive streak, before, right? This isn't a
>> complete surprise...?
>
>Not complete, I guess, but I didn't realise it had been quite that bad 8(
<shrug> Up, down, wtf, tripped over a rock, fell into chaos, bleh. No
more, or less, than some other folks, I suppose. Life is just bleaker
when I can't/couldn/t see past my own shoes. I think I filtered most
of it off the group, but I sure did whine sometimes. Meh.
I am _trying_ to let some folks know that I'm not quite the fun-loving
fluffhead that I think they think I am, in a typical, off-the-cuff,
tangental manner. Hint. Hint. Hint. :P
ouch! All right, all right, (stop hitting me!), my perspective is
skewed, I get it! ouch!
>felice
>bedtime shoes
Tease. :-)
cyn#
wide awake shoes
felice
> NZ does have some beautiful scenery, (including yourself), if Legend
> of the Seeker is anything to go by. (Cracktastic show).
Just so everyone is very clear on this, I have not nor will I ever be
appearing in "Legend of the Seeker"! ;) I did watch the pilot, out of
morbid curiosity, and it's probably very suitable for watching while
drunk 8) The books it's based on are apparently appalling Ayn Rand
inspired nonsense, though I'm not sure how faithful an adaptation the
show is. I'd rather rewatch some old Xena episodes...
*double-takes* Hang on, are you taking the travel idea seriously??? I'd
be very happy to volunteer my services as tour guide if that would be of
use (well, more accurately, in spite of the fact that it's likely to be
of no use whatsoever given my near-total lack of qualifications for
operating in such a capacity). NZ really is a beautiful country, despite
the current government's best efforts to ruin our environmentally-
friendly image.
> Life is just bleaker when I can't/couldn/t see past my own shoes.
Do always try to remember there are other shoes out there 8)
> I am _trying_ to let some folks know that I'm not quite the fun-loving
> fluffhead that I think they think I am, in a typical, off-the-cuff,
> tangental manner. Hint. Hint. Hint. :P
Why would you think folks would think that? I think you think folks must
think you're not who you think you are because you think they couldn't
like you if they thought you were like you think you are. I think. 8P
Um, in other words, somebody liking you is _not_ evidence that they have
an unrealistic impression.
> ouch! All right, all right, (stop hitting me!), my perspective is
> skewed, I get it! ouch!
Good. Now don't you forget it!
> Tease. :-)
Who me? ;)
felice
email-less shoes (will be without internet access for probably about 24
hours from some time tomorrow - I'm experiencing withdrawal symptoms
already...)
Joules VC
<snip>
> Why would you think folks would think that? I think you think folks must
> think you're not who you think you are because you think they couldn't
> like you if they thought you were like you think you are. I think. 8P
> Um, in other words, somebody liking you is _not_ evidence that they have
> an unrealistic impression.
A dazed Joules blinks at the screen and wonders how she chose this
particular post to read with a splitting headache
because her poor little brain is now going in circles.
Definitely need more caffeine. Maybe a brain transplant. Can I get that to go?
Joules
mumbling feet
felice
> particular post to read with a splitting headache
> because her poor little brain is now going in circles.
Sorry! *grins sheepishly*
(no, that's _not_ the only way kiwis grin! Hmph.)
> Definitely need more caffeine. Maybe a brain transplant. Can I get that to go?
No, we very much prefer you with the current brain and staying...
I'm all in favour of the caffeine, though (but perhaps not the best idea
for me at this time of night)
felice
bookcase-assembling slippers
Rebecca Burnett
Joules requested:
>Definitely need more caffeine. Maybe a brain transplant. Can I get that to go?
One cuppa Joe and a brain transplant to go... comin' up. Just swipe yur card
in that little machine thingy and your all set. :-)
lastoutlaw
BT boots taking all major credit cards
cyn########
wrote:
>je 06/04/10 05:29, cyn######## skribis:
>Just so everyone is very clear on this, I have not nor will I ever be
>appearing in "Legend of the Seeker"! ;)
How unfortunate. I could definitely see you waving a sword around...
>I did watch the pilot, out of morbid curiosity, and it's probably
>very suitable for watching while drunk 8)
I haven't watched the first season, but I've seen a few episodes of
the second where the femslash subtext picks up, especially in the
latter half. I'm probably the only person on the planet that only
watches tv shows, (or movies), _after_ reading fanfic on them.
<rolling eyes> (Criminal Minds, Murder in Suburbia, Buffy,etc)
Fan parodies are fun.
>The books it's based on are apparently appalling Ayn Rand
>inspired nonsense, though I'm not sure how faithful an adaptation the
>show is. I'd rather rewatch some old Xena episodes...
I've heard the books are pretty brutal in areas, but only glanced
through them at the library. (I haven't actually _read_ a book
in....eeek, a very long time! I don't seem to have the attention
span. Weird.) I've read the adaptation is _very_ loosely based, as
in, barely there, and the show tends to be a lot more aware of its
campy nature.
A fan desciption of one of the characters may have pulled me in...how
did they put it..."a leather-wearing dominatrix wielding dildos of
pain for weapons." <chuckle> Okaaaaaay. This I have to see.
re: cyn's World Tour to Conquer the Planet, (beginning in NZ)
>*double-takes* Hang on, are you taking the travel idea seriously???
Er, actually...not really. Sorry. Not unless I can dump a problem
onto someone else, or just get rid of the place entirely.
At the rate I'm going, my travel plans should make as far as Windsor,
ON, sometime in the next five years...! (US Border town, probably a
couple hours drive) <g>
It would probably be good for me to just _stay in one place_! Without
the headaches the last two summers had. Mind you, the loonie dollar
parity with the US buck does make crossing the border appealing, for
the first time in years....
(I ran into a family I knew from Ohio, whom I hadn't seen for a couple
of years...we got into a bit of a chat about the Obama administration,
and I brought up the health care issue -- they had a remarkably
refreshing viewpoint. They're (solidly) Democrats, and it was good to
see what the average person felt. They managed to mitigate much of
the (unfair) anti-Americanism I was developing when Bush was in
charge, a few years back. I wish I had time to chat with them more --
I used to use their perspective as a guage on the American pysche.
Heh. There was a time, in the not so distant past, where I was
adamant about not visiting US soil...running into this family has put
that to rest. Of course, it's a hypothetical -- it is unlikely I'll
travel in the near future.)
>I'd be very happy to volunteer my services
Okaaaaaay. Let's snip the sentence _there_. ;-)
>as tour guide if that would be of use
[...]
>NZ really is a beautiful country, despite the current government's
>best efforts to ruin our environmentally-friendly image.
Meh, I just wanted to go as far ahead in time as I could, before
falling off the earth.
>Do always try to remember there are other shoes out there 8)
Are there? <peers around> There don't seeeeeem to be many...
>Why would you think folks would think that? I think you think folks must
>think you're not who you think you are because you think they couldn't
>like you if they thought you were like you think you are. I think. 8P
No comment on this, except that if it confuzzled Joulzie, it is GOLD.
:-) :-) :-)
>felice
>email-less shoes
Huh? What's that? Were you expecting email? Reading aslm archives
is keeping me distracted -- and year 2000 popped onto my laptop, so
now I have more to go through! YES! It's like lurking without
posting, only there's so much more to read through. :P
(Hi Lurkers! Post, please! Please, please, please? I'll have to
>pop< out some more of my wordy selves if you don't, and well, this ng
has already seen enough of me! For starters, you can let me know what
the terrain is like in your area, so I'll know if I need to send out a
CK(tm) Recon Detatchment that way. For research purposes, honest. ;-)
I'm debating calling my stealth koalas the KumQuats(tm) -- should
confuse people who may have only seen the trademarked CK(tm)s before).
cyn#
(omg, is it STILL morning?!)
shoes looking for signs of fellow footwear
dasler9 s
Content-Type: text/plain; charset=ISO-8859-1
On Wed, Apr 7, 2010 at 4:59 AM, felice <feli...@randomstatic.net> wrote:
>
>
> je 06/04/10 05:29, cyn######## skribis:
> > NZ does have some beautiful scenery, (including yourself), if Legend
> > of the Seeker is anything to go by. (Cracktastic show).
>
> Just so everyone is very clear on this, I have not nor will I ever be
> appearing in "Legend of the Seeker"! ;) I did watch the pilot, out of
> morbid curiosity, and it's probably very suitable for watching while
> drunk 8) The books it's based on are apparently appalling Ayn Rand
> inspired nonsense, though I'm not sure how faithful an adaptation the
> show is. I'd rather rewatch some old Xena episodes...
>
> *swooning* thinking of old Xena episodes...
really really tried watching Legend of the Seeker, but the lines just killed
me. couldn't... do... it... anymore....
anyone catch Lucy Lawless in the Battlestar Galactica series?
> *double-takes* Hang on, are you taking the travel idea seriously??? I'd
> be very happy to volunteer my services as tour guide if that would be of
> use (well, more accurately, in spite of the fact that it's likely to be
> of no use whatsoever given my near-total lack of qualifications for
> operating in such a capacity). NZ really is a beautiful country, despite
> the current government's best efforts to ruin our environmentally-
> friendly image.
>
>
we could start an ASL School for Tour Guides: an online school at which one
can learn the intricacies of proper Shoe guiding. :-)
:-D
travel itching boots
--00c09f8a4d9e61bc26048438af60
Content-Type: text/html; charset=ISO-8859-1
Content-Transfer-Encoding: quoted-printable
<br><br><div class=3D"gmail_quote">On Wed, Apr 7, 2010 at 4:59 AM, felice <=
span dir=3D"ltr"><<a href=3D"mailto:feli...@randomstatic.net">felicehl@=
randomstatic.net</a>></span> wrote:<br><blockquote class=3D"gmail_quote"=
style=3D"border-left: 1px solid rgb(204, 204, 204); margin: 0pt 0pt 0pt 0.=
8ex; padding-left: 1ex;">
<br>
<br>
je 06/04/10 05:29, cyn######## skribis:<br>
<div class=3D"im">> NZ does have some beautiful scenery, (including your=
self), if Legend<br>
> of the Seeker is anything to go by. =A0(Cracktastic show).<br>
<br>
</div>Just so everyone is very clear on this, I have not nor will I ever be=
<br>
appearing in "Legend of the Seeker"! ;) I did watch the pilot, ou=
t of<br>
morbid curiosity, and it's probably very suitable for watching while<br=
>
drunk 8) The books it's based on are apparently appalling Ayn Rand<br>
inspired nonsense, though I'm not sure how faithful an adaptation the<b=
r>
show is. I'd rather rewatch some old Xena episodes...<br>
<br></blockquote><div>*swooning* thinking of old Xena episodes...<br><br>re=
ally really tried watching Legend of the Seeker, but the lines just killed =
me.=A0 couldn't... do... it... anymore....<br><br>anyone catch Lucy Law=
less in the Battlestar Galactica series? <br>
<br>=A0<br></div><blockquote class=3D"gmail_quote" style=3D"border-left: 1p=
x solid rgb(204, 204, 204); margin: 0pt 0pt 0pt 0.8ex; padding-left: 1ex;">
*double-takes* Hang on, are you taking the travel idea seriously??? I'd=
<br>
be very happy to volunteer my services as tour guide if that would be of<br=
>
use (well, more accurately, in spite of the fact that it's likely to be=
<br>
of no use whatsoever given my near-total lack of qualifications for<br>
operating in such a capacity). NZ really is a beautiful country, despite<br=
>
the current government's best efforts to ruin our environmentally-<br>
friendly image.<br>
<div></div>=A0<br></blockquote><div>we could start an ASL School for Tour G=
uides: an online school at which one can learn the intricacies of proper Sh=
oe guiding.=A0 :-) <br></div><br>:-D <br>travel itching boots<br></div><br>
--00c09f8a4d9e61bc26048438af60--
dasler9 s
a bunch of gobbledy-gook due to the rich text formatter on her email
client:
snip...
<br><br><div class=3D"gmail_quote">On Wed, Apr 7, 2010 at 4:59
AM, felice <=
> span dir=3D"ltr"><<a
href=3D"mailto:feli...@randomstatic.net">felicehl@=
snip.....
sorry, sorry. i figured out turning off rich text! should be better now.
:-D, back to mutt/pine/elm days boots
felice
> How unfortunate. I could definitely see you waving a sword around...
As long as you were watching from a safe distance - given my lack of
coordination, it could easily be the last thing you ever saw (at least
with binocular vision) if you were too close.
> I haven't watched the first season, but I've seen a few episodes of
> the second where the femslash subtext picks up, especially in the
> latter half.
Subtext, huh? Maybe I should check it out further after all.
> I'm probably the only person on the planet that only
> watches tv shows, (or movies), _after_ reading fanfic on them.
> <rolling eyes> (Criminal Minds, Murder in Suburbia, Buffy,etc)
Definitely not. I know people who only read the fanfic, and never watch
the show it's based on at all. Not a mindset I entirely understand, but
it doesn't seem to be that uncommon.
> (I haven't actually _read_ a book
> in....eeek, a very long time! I don't seem to have the attention
> span. Weird.)
But... aren't books the very reason for the existence of the universe?
*brain crashes and requires a reboot after trying to process the concept
of not reading books*
> A fan desciption of one of the characters may have pulled me in...how
> did they put it..."a leather-wearing dominatrix wielding dildos of
> pain for weapons." <chuckle> Okaaaaaay. This I have to see.
*LOL* Mistress #68 looking for some tips? ;)
> Er, actually...not really. Sorry. Not unless I can dump a problem
> onto someone else, or just get rid of the place entirely.
Hmmm... how are the CKs with arson?
> Mind you, the loonie dollar
> parity with the US buck does make crossing the border appealing, for
> the first time in years....
The US border? Eek, no, stay away! There have been some real horror
stories recently - Peter Watts getting tasered and facing up to two
years in jail for the crime of politely asking "what's going on?" and
standing still (I thought his novel Blindsight was superb, and from
everything I've heard he's a really nice guy); and just this week an
acquaintance of mine had this experience:
http://shakespearessister.blogspot.com/2010/04/welcome-home.html
I wouldn't choose to cross the US border without a very good reason.
> (I ran into a family I knew from Ohio, whom I hadn't seen for a couple
> of years...we got into a bit of a chat about the Obama administration,
> and I brought up the health care issue -- they had a remarkably
> refreshing viewpoint.
That's good to hear.
>> I'd be very happy to volunteer my services
> Okaaaaaay. Let's snip the sentence _there_. ;-)
Bad cyn#!
> Meh, I just wanted to go as far ahead in time as I could, before
> falling off the earth.
Oh, so you'd like to try bungy jumping, then?
> Are there? <peers around> There don't seeeeeem to be many...
Enough to get by, I think, though more certainly wouldn't hurt.
> Huh? What's that? Were you expecting email?
"Expecting" isn't exactly the word; I gave up on that after the first
five years of waiting 8P
felice
shoes on a lunchbreak
cyn########
wrote:
>je 14/04/10 02:11, cyn######## skribis:
>> Mind you, the loonie dollar parity with the US buck does make
>> crossing the border appealing, for the first time in years....
>
>The US border? Eek, no, stay away! There have been some real horror
>stories recently - Peter Watts getting tasered and facing up to two
>years in jail for the crime of politely asking "what's going on?" and
>standing still
Just a quick follow-up on Peter Watts:
http://www.thestar.com/entertainment/books/article/801089--canadian-science-fiction-writer-avoids-u-s-jail-time
>and just this week an acquaintance of mine had this experience:
>http://shakespearessister.blogspot.com/2010/04/welcome-home.html
Thanks for posting this -- it was interesting reading. I've never
given much thought to the issue, since it's outside of my daily
experience. I was impressed by the poster's self-awareness,
(especially in regards to white priviledge), as I'm not sure many
others would have noticed if they were given preferential treatment.
Are _all_ NZers this perceptive?!
Unfortunately, I've been reading that some Canadian border guards,
(US/Cdn border), are plenty rude and unwelcoming to visitors and
returning Canucks -- it's pretty disappointing.
cyn#
shoes under the moss-covered rock
felice
> Just a quick follow-up on Peter Watts:
> http://www.thestar.com/entertainment/books/article/801089--canadian-science-fiction-writer-avoids-u-s-jail-time
Ooh, that is good news! Glad to hear that not everyone involved in this
fiasco is completely insane. (If anyone's interested in finding out more
about the case, his blog has plenty of detail:
http://www.rifters.com/crawl/)
> I was impressed by the poster's self-awareness,
> (especially in regards to white priviledge), as I'm not sure many
> others would have noticed if they were given preferential treatment.
> Are _all_ NZers this perceptive?!
Unfortunately not. Hell, I doubt I would have been in that situation;
when the "preferential treatment" consists of being abused somewhat
less, it's easy to get caught up in your own problems and fail to notice
that others have it worse. And we've had our own border scandals, most
notably Ahmed Zaoui (though at least the government's actions there were
pretty widely condemned).
> Unfortunately, I've been reading that some Canadian border guards,
> (US/Cdn border), are plenty rude and unwelcoming to visitors and
> returning Canucks -- it's pretty disappointing.
I think it's pretty universal, to a greater or lesser extent,
unfortunately. A little bit of power over others goes to some people's
heads. I'm not a fan of surveillance in general, but I think it would
make a lot of sense to institute recording of everything cops and guards
do - video where possible, but certainly audio, and available for public
scrutiny (with some censorship to protect the privacy of those they deal
with). Knowing they're being watched might help discourage them from
throwing their weight around unreasonably...
felice
off-to-school shoes