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ellesin

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Apr 26, 2010, 8:11:43 AM4/26/10
to
Just wondering. Because holy cats has my life gotten messy. I'm
assuming this is still a public list (readable and searchable by the
world) despite our earlier conversation, right? So I won't say much,
just that my church board leaders requested my resignation last
Thursday (no grievous transgressions of clergy rules or anything like
that, just general discontent) and in an attempt to do what was best
for the church, I agreed. I thought things were going really well,
but apparently not for everyone.

So as of May 1 I have no health insurance. I have three months'
severance, just the salary part, for which I am very grateful. I am
wrapping things up and staying away from the church as much as
possible between now and then. And of course, I have no job. In our
denomination the whole job-hunt thing takes a year, so I am now
looking for work for at least a year, but frankly I'm feeling pretty
burnt and wondering what other kinds of ministry are out there. I do
see life coaching as a kind of community ministry (as counseling is)
and I plan to put more energy into that.

But I'm stunned. Head spinning. Dealing with all the grief and
stuff. Feels kind of like I've been tossed out the airlock of a
spaceship, and there's no atmospheric pressure to hold me together.
I'm sure there's a silver lining, but I only get glimpses right now.
I've decided that perhaps I need to begin by getting some
brightly-colored socks, since the socks I wore to work were almost
always black. I know I'm not the only one to go through this. But
damn I've had better weeks.

Leela
questing, floating socks

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cyn########

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Apr 26, 2010, 9:50:22 AM4/26/10
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On 26 Apr 2010 08:11:43 -0400, ellesin <ell...@gmail.com> wrote:


>Just wondering. Because holy cats has my life gotten messy. I'm
>assuming this is still a public list (readable and searchable by the
>world) despite our earlier conversation, right?

Yes, it is.

>So I won't say much,
>just that my church board leaders requested my resignation last
>Thursday (no grievous transgressions of clergy rules or anything like
>that, just general discontent) and in an attempt to do what was best
>for the church, I agreed.

Geez....I'm sorry. This is awful.

>I thought things were going really well, but apparently not for everyone.

There's no recourse? I guess it's too late to work with them and find
a compromise? Especially if this came out of the blue, with no
warning...bleep.

>So as of May 1 I have no health insurance. I have three months'
>severance, just the salary part, for which I am very grateful.

[...]


>but frankly I'm feeling pretty
>burnt and wondering what other kinds of ministry are out there.

>I've decided that perhaps I need to begin by getting some


>brightly-colored socks, since the socks I wore to work were almost
>always black.

Good idea. I'm donning one of the few non-black socks I have in your
honour, today. My feet look funny, but, ah well. (I should go pick
up some warm and fuzzy socks -- they seem to work for Joules.)

>I know I'm not the only one to go through this. But
>damn I've had better weeks.

I'm really sorry to hear this.

I don't have any knowledge base, at all, when it comes to religion,
but I do know what it's like to feel like everything's out of control,
and the world's suddenly not what you thought it was. I hope you have
some supportive people around you, not tied up with the Church. Even
if you do, please don't hesitate to vent here if you need an ear, or a
place to send out your thoughts, in any form -- you'll have a friendly
listener.


cyn#
(who'll send a CK(tm) over, if you need moral support)
sympathetic shoes

ellesin

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Apr 26, 2010, 11:44:49 AM4/26/10
to
On Mon, Apr 26, 2010 at 9:50 AM, cyn######## <cy...@hotmail.com> wrote:
>
>
>>I thought things were going really well, but apparently not for everyone.
>
> There's no recourse? =A0I guess it's too late to work with them and find
> a compromise? =A0Especially if this came out of the blue, with no
> warning...bleep.
Yeah, things had been rough and then better and then rough and then
better, but I thought we were pretty solidly in the "better" and
apparently...well, for some people we were and for some we weren't.
Le sigh.

>>I've decided that perhaps I need to begin by getting some
>>brightly-colored socks, since the socks I wore to work were almost
>>always black.
>

> Good idea. =A0I'm donning one of the few non-black socks I have in your
> honour, today. =A0My feet look funny, but, ah well. =A0(I should go pick


> up some warm and fuzzy socks -- they seem to work for Joules.)

.smile. thank you! If your feet can't make you smile, what can? :)


> I don't have any knowledge base, at all, when it comes to religion,
> but I do know what it's like to feel like everything's out of control,

> and the world's suddenly not what you thought it was. =A0I hope you have


> some supportive people around you, not tied up with the Church.

I do indeed. My gf is really mad but is working hard not to let that
get out in ways that might be harmful (to me) later. And she's taking
extra specially good care of me. I have a few other friends, too. It
just feels like my whole world has gone topsy-turvy, which you
describe perfectly above.

> Even
> if you do, please don't hesitate to vent here if you need an ear, or a
> place to send out your thoughts, in any form -- you'll have a friendly
> listener.

Thanks.

I love this list--the internationalness, the low flame rate, the
playful spirit. I feel like I'm trying to figure out...not WHO I
am--I think I know that--but HOW I am in the world, when my whole life
doesn't revolve around the church. I was just about due for a
sabbatical, so I guess I have one sort of. This list is a good place
for figuring-out that way.

I think the CK(tm) idea is a good one when I can handle a little more
chaos. They seem to have a rather...exuberant air about them that I'm
not sure I can match at the moment. .glances over shoulder at ceiling
beams. but I'm not sure I'm ready for pounces and hordes quite yet.
The world feels very, very still at the moment.

thanks,
Leela, figuring-out toes

cyn########

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Apr 26, 2010, 12:21:06 PM4/26/10
to
On 26 Apr 2010 11:44:49 -0400, ellesin <ell...@gmail.com> stopped by,

(and hopefully this will be a trend), and wrote:

>On Mon, Apr 26, 2010 at 9:50 AM, cyn######## <cy...@hotmail.com> wrote:

>> I'm donning one of the few non-black socks I have in your

>> honour, today. My feet look funny, but, ah well.

>.smile. thank you! If your feet can't make you smile, what can? :)

My feet look ridiculous. They don't match my new faded jeans, at all.

> My gf is really mad but is working hard not to let that
>get out in ways that might be harmful (to me) later. And she's taking
>extra specially good care of me.

Yay for gfs!! :-)
You take care of yourself, too.

>It just feels like my whole world has gone topsy-turvy, which you
>describe perfectly above.

Hmm. It is a familiar place...for a lot of us. So, yeah, you're not
alone...and, everything really does get better, with time.

>I love this list--the internationalness, the low flame rate, the
>playful spirit.

Ditto, on this.

>I feel like I'm trying to figure out...not WHO I
>am--I think I know that--but HOW I am in the world,

And, look....you're miles ahead of me on this one! ;-)

>I think the CK(tm) idea is a good one when I can handle a little more
>chaos. They seem to have a rather...exuberant air about them that I'm
>not sure I can match at the moment. .glances over shoulder at ceiling
>beams.

Ah, but _my_ CK(tm)s, are very adaptable. They really can be an
attentive listener, thanks to their furry ears. And they're good at
just providing a quiet, companionable presence. They'd be content to
sit in the stillness with you, as time passes, slowly, until you
regain your equilibrium. Give them an ear rub, or two, and they'll
have your back against anything that comes your way. First loyalty is
to the one they're assigned to. And, they're h-ggable, if you're so
inclined -- you can wrap your arms around one, and know that one of
the lil guys is totally on your side.

>but I'm not sure I'm ready for pounces and hordes quite yet.

No worries! CK(tms)s generally save this for special occasions. Or
when Aussie ethicists invite attack.

>The world feels very, very still at the moment.

It's freaky how the world can echo with silence, sometimes.


cyn#
shoes dispatching a CK(tm) your way...with orders to hover
protectively in the background if you're not ready for a marsupial
buddy...but ready to provide companionable silence, and two furry paws
to help, if desired
(I'd send chocolate chip cookes, which the CK(tm)s make exceedingly
well, but I recall your gf can probably bake better ones) ;-)

ellesin

unread,
Apr 26, 2010, 1:06:01 PM4/26/10
to
On Mon, Apr 26, 2010 at 12:21 PM, cyn######## <cy...@hotmail.com> wrote:
>
>
> On 26 Apr 2010 11:44:49 -0400, ellesin <ell...@gmail.com> stopped by,
> (and hopefully this will be a trend), and wrote:


Hopefully, yes! I have been busy what with the church exploding all
over the ceiling and everything, but I'm finding myself with some time
now...

Leela, off to get dirty toes (in the garden :))

felice

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Apr 26, 2010, 7:19:06 PM4/26/10
to
je 27/04/10 00:11, ellesin skribis:

> Just wondering. Because holy cats has my life gotten messy. I'm
> assuming this is still a public list (readable and searchable by the
> world) despite our earlier conversation, right?

Yes, this list is going to stay public, though a more private supplement
might get sorted out eventually. I don't think it's currently included
in standard google web searches, only group-specific ones, so the
potential audience is probably quite limited, but we have no control
over what search engines choose to do with it in future.

> my church board leaders requested my resignation last
> Thursday (no grievous transgressions of clergy rules or anything like
> that, just general discontent) and in an attempt to do what was best
> for the church, I agreed.

That sucks 8(

> So as of May 1 I have no health insurance.

I really, really hate the lack of proper public healthcare in the US.

> the whole job-hunt thing takes a year, so I am now
> looking for work for at least a year, but frankly I'm feeling pretty
> burnt and wondering what other kinds of ministry are out there.

Yes, looking for some other kind of employment sounds like an excellent
idea; being forced to stay out of work for a year or more doesn't seem
like a great option to me.

> But I'm stunned. Head spinning. Dealing with all the grief and
> stuff.

Understandable. *hugs*

> I've decided that perhaps I need to begin by getting some
> brightly-colored socks, since the socks I wore to work were almost
> always black.

Yes, that's a good place to start.

felice
bright pink socks (yes, I managed to find one non-black pair at the back
of the drawer 8)

nora

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Apr 26, 2010, 9:28:06 PM4/26/10
to
cyn#:
>> There's no recourse? I guess it's too late to work with them and find
>> a compromise? specially if this came out of the blue, with no
>> warning...bleep.

leela:


>Yeah, things had been rough and then better and then rough and then
>better, but I thought we were pretty solidly in the "better" and
>apparently...well, for some people we were and for some we weren't.
>Le sigh.

i'm really sorry to hear about your job loss. i've been through it a couple of times myself (in these times, is there ANYONE who hasn't been through it a couple of
times?) and i know it's really tough. hang in there!

cyn#:


>> Even
>> if you do, please don't hesitate to vent here if you need an ear, or a
>> place to send out your thoughts, in any form -- you'll have a friendly
>> listener.

leela:
>Thanks.

>I love this list--the internationalness, the low flame rate, the
>playful spirit.

i also love the international, playful nature of this group ... but there has definitely been a flame war or two aorund here in the olden days ...

- nora
flame-proof toes

ellesin

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Apr 27, 2010, 9:18:15 AM4/27/10
to
On Mon, Apr 26, 2010 at 9:28 PM, nora <nre...@carolina.rr.com> wrote:
> i also love the international, playful nature of this group ... but there has definitely been a flame war or two aorund here in the olden days ...
>
> - nora
> flame-proof toes

.nod. I remember. But compared to some of the old lists and groups,
this one was positively gentle. Seems like people have gotten wiser
about flame wars in general since then...or maybe I've just chosen my
online company with more care...

Leela
firefighter socks

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