{ASS} Coming of Age [FM] by Eighteen and Innocent
Lee Vine
I am posting it for the author.
The author's e-mail address can be found below.
===
Coming of Age
by Eighteen and Innocent [eighteen_a...@yahoo.com]
Maybe it's wrong to give away the ending of a story before I
tell it's beginning, but it never did make much sense to me
except in retrospect. Even now I doubt that I fully understand
my first love affair, so I will at least give my readers the
benefit of little background before I plunge headlong into the
story. It is the tale of an affair with a man that I gave up
everything for, that I loved enough to pretend to this day that
I have forgotten.
Each morning when I wake up, I have the chance to touch my
child, to tousle his blond hair, and hold him on my lap.
That's the closest I can get to loving his father. He has his
father's green eyes, stocky build, and dimpled smile. But no
one will ever know whose child he is, not even Kevin.
When I found out I was carrying his child, I ran away from
home, from everyone I knew. I got caught, but when my parents
found out I was pregnant, they didn't want me anymore. They
sent me away to a home for troubled kids. That's where I had
my baby and grew up fast. I finished school there before most
kids my age had had their first date. The people at the home
taught me how to drive and how to take care of myself. I thank
God for them and what they taught me even if I did resent the
place the whole time I lived there.
The home where I was sent to was in Montana, a world away from
Nebraska, where my family was from. The last time I heard from
my parents was when they signed the consent forms so I could
get married. I like my life now. I'm married and pregnant
with my husband's child. I've got a good job and a beautiful
home. But last night I woke up crying. I had had another
dream about Kevin. Lord, how I miss him. It's been five years
now since the day I left him sleeping soundly in his bed, and
what I wouldn't do to be back in his arms just one more time.
Let me take you back to when I was just a child. The year was
1986. I was six years old and was on my way to a new house in
Nebraska. We had just left behind a ranch in Kansas, and
before that a farm job in Oklahoma. My dad liked to move every
couple of months, but he told me this time we were going to
stay. He was buying our house with some money he had inherited
when Grandpa died. From the sound of Mom's voice when he told
her we were moving again, we were either staying this time or
he was leaving by himself.
When we pulled into the drive, I couldn't help but stare
wide-eyed. It was the bigger than I had thought it would be.
A two-story, white farm house with a balcony, and pillars in
front, a huge lawn, and everything. I asked my dad if we were
rich. He wouldn't say. I guess he didn't want me to ask for a
bigger allowance.
But what I really wanted to know was if there were any kids my
age around. It had been so long since I had a chance to make
friends. I had more or less given up lately. Especially since
my parent's home-schooled me and I never even got to meet
anyone at school like a normal kid.
I was just going to ask Dad about neighbors when an old,
beat-up Chevy pulled into the yard. The couple that got out
were a little older than my parents, round and jolly like Mr.
and Mrs. Santa Claus, and looked every inch like farmers. They
asked my parents if they needed any help getting moved in. I
knew my dad wouldn't ask them for help, and I knew they didn't
really want to help. I'd moved enough times to know they were
just being nosy. But when they asked my parents to supper, my
parents accepted.
That night, when all of our boxes were moved in, and we'd had
showers and changed, we drove to their house. On the way my
dad mentioned they had a son named Kevin. My ears perked up
right away. Did this mean I was going to have someone to play
with? I asked dad how old he was and my heart sank right
away. He said he was nine years older than me. Well, that
sucked. He was my brother's age, so my brother would have a
friend. But I'd never have anyone to talk to.
But as soon as I met Kevin, I knew all was not lost. He was
really big for a fifteen-year-old. Tanned and muscular, I knew
he did his share of the farm work. But he wasn't at all
snobbish just because he was older. He took my brother and me
out to the barn and showed us all of their horses. He even
offered to let us ride them, but Dad said not tonight, maybe
next time. Kevin teased me (I was a little chubby and wore
glasses so I was used to being teased, but he didn't do it in a
mean way), and every time I wasn't looking he would tickle me.
I had so much fun that when my parents said it was time to go,
I couldn't believe it was already so late.
Over the next few years, my brother and I spent almost every
day with Kevin and his folks. Their house was only about a
mile from ours and we could walk there easily by cutting
through the pastures. My brother didn't appreciate me tagging
along. He wanted his independence, but Mom made him take me
because she was too busy to watch out for me. We would always
find something to do.
When Kevin got his driver's license, he started taking us into
town. This was cool for a nine-year-old to be running around
with a sixteen-year-old brother and a friend that was almost
nineteen.
Sometimes I wondered why Kevin didn't have any older friends
that he ran around with. I saw him talk to people now and
then, but he wasn't real popular. My mom said he was childish
and immature. I told her I thought he was just a lot of fun
and to leave him alone. She just shrugged and said he'd never
make it in the real world. I'd never really wondered why he
planned to stay at his parent's farm for the rest of his life.
I just took it for granted. But then I started to worry that
he'd grow up and leave me someday. He couldn't, could he? I
mean he was best friend.
The next time I was alone with Kevin, I asked him. My brother
was fishing at one end of the pond, and Kevin was at the other
end. I sat down beside him and looking up into his eyes with
tears in my own, I asked, "Are you ever going to move away and
leave me?"
He knew that before I had moved here, I'd never had any
friends, so he answered me with all seriousness, wanting to
assure me. He told me that he had worked out a deal with his
dad to by an adjoining farmhouse, and that he wasn't leaving.
I guess my voice was trembling a little when I said, "Good,
because I love you." He looked a little embarrassed, but he
pulled me onto his lap and kissed my forehead. Then he quickly
stood me back up, gave me a swat on the but and told me a big
fish was on the end of my line and was dragging my pole into
the lake. I knew he was lying, but was just as glad for the
excuse to go look. My cheeks were a little red too.
A year later, he handed me a folded note and told me not to
read it until I was home alone and not to let anyone else see
it. When I opened it up, I couldn't believe what it said. He
said he liked me and wanted to know if I liked him that way or
if he was just dreaming. "My God, he is nine years older than
me", I thought. But I'd wanted to touch him for so long, and I
wondered what it would be like to kiss him, and I wanted to
admit that I liked him too. So I wrote him a note back. It
took me awhile to get it right. I wrote several versions
anywhere from "I only like you as a friend." to "When are we
getting married?" Finally I settled on acknowledging that I
had feelings for him that were more than friendship, but saying
my parent's would kill me if they ever caught us.
He wrote a note back that said it would be our little secret.
The next time I saw him, we were in the shed with the baby
chicks. He had taken me out there to see the new ones they had
just bought. I bent over to pick up one little fluff of
yellow, and I caught him staring at me. "You're so beautiful",
he said. I didn't know what to say back, so I just reached
down and ran my fingers through his hair, while he touched my
leg, caressing me. Just then I heard my brother coming in the
shed and we pretended nothing was going on.
From then on, I was one major tease. I knew I was too young
for him and I knew he knew. But then I realized that was a big
part of why I turned him on. I liked to wear my hair up in
pigtails and dress like a little girl, while doing things I
shouldn't have when we were alone. We liked to play
hide-and-seek in the dark and would somehow end up finding each
other without my brother knowing. He'd hold me and kiss me,
fooling around out there where no one would see.
At first
that was enough, but then we started to get braver. Soon, he
was putting his hands up my shirt, and touching my newly
budding breasts. I had just started to turn into a woman.
Having just lost my baby-fat, my body was now lean (and I
thought a little sexy every time I would stand in front of the
mirror). My parents had let me get contacts, and I no longer
looked like a bookish nerd. I wasn't yet real comfortable with
my body, but he didn't make me feel embarrassed about it. It
just felt right and the way he touched me sent feelings through
my body, I didn't even know were possible. I liked the way he
would shiver when I would touch him, especially when I would
run my small hands in little circles across his chest.
That kept us busy for awhile, just flirting and touching. I
knew he was taking it slow with me because I was so young. But
I also knew he was growing impatient and that I would need to
satisfy him if I didn't want to lose him. I'm sure he touched
himself after I went home just like I touched myself. I liked
to lay on my bed in my room and think about him. I'd watch the
mirror at the foot of my bed as I played with my breasts and
played down there. Sometimes I'd find something to put
inside. I found one slender bud vase of my mom's that felt
real good. I'd wonder if his dick would hurt inside of me
because it was so much bigger.
I told him one day when I was about twelve or thirteen, that I
wasn't ready yet to make love to him, but that I wanted to make
him feel good. When I said that, I think I heard him groan a
little. I'd been teasing him for so long. At the moment, we
were lying on his couch with a blanket over us. My brother
knew about our relationship by now, and would either watch TV
while we played around or go outside for awhile. Kevin was an
adult now and was buying him beer. So if he told Dad about my
thing with Kevin, I'd tell Dad he was drinking. At the moment,
my brother was watching a scary movie on TV, and I was stroking
Kevin's stomach right under the waist of his jeans. When I'd
stroke across the middle, I'd sometimes bump his dick.
Lingering over it a little too long would make him close his
eyes for just a second and stroke my nipples a little harder.
When I said I'd like to make him feel good, we both knew I
meant a blowjob. This is something I had thought about doing
before, but hadn't yet because I wasn't sure just how. He
looked so excited when I said that I would, that I unzipped his
jeans right away, and scooted under the blanket until I was
eye-level with his crotch. I heard my brother turn the volume
up on the TV and I giggled. He sure wasn't a virgin, so he
couldn't say much. Getting back to the task, I pulled Kevin's
jeans down around his ankles and started caressing his nuts
with my fingers. Then I took one and sucked it into my mouth
gently. He put his hands on my shoulders and I heard him
whisper, "Please, I'm so horny, it hurts. Please suck me". I
was enjoying this. I liked the need in his voice and the way
his fingers tightened their grip. I touched everywhere except
his throbbing cock for a couple of minutes teasing him. Then I
began to run my fingers about halfway up at the same time I was
massaging his nuts. I knew he wanted more and he'd jerk a
little every time I'd do it.
So, I took his cock in my hand and putting my lips around just
the head, making a tight seal with my lips, moved my mouth up
and down. He tangled his fingers in my hair and bucked his
hips up so almost his entire dick slid into my mouth. I
gagged, felt water coming to my eyes, and wanted to stop; but I
then I realized that was what giving head was all about. I was
going to have to learn to take it all if I wanted to make him
feel good. I put my lips over the head, and used my mouth like
I imagined a pussy would feel to him, building a steady rhythm
with my tongue occasionally swirling around the head or
flicking the underside on a downstroke. I felt him thrusting
back sometimes. When I began to get tired, I used my hand; and
I think he liked the slippery feel of my hand just as well as,
or better than, my mouth. Then I heard him whisper that he was
going to come and I wasn't quite sure what to do about it, so I
kept rubbing him until I felt wet, gooey, white stuff spilling
over my hand and onto the couch.
He pulled his pants up then, and without snapping them headed
for the kitchen. I followed and watched as he cleaned himself
off with a towel. "You're supposed to swallow, you dork", he
said.
I just said, "Oh." Not sure what else to say, I kind of felt
like running outside and hiding for awhile.
Then I guess he looked up and saw my face and must have
realized how unsure of myself I was. He called me over and
held me against him. "No, no. Hey, that's not what I meant.
You don't have to swallow. I'm not like mad at you or
anything. I was just kidding. You did great; it felt like
heaven. You had me going so damned bad I was about ready to go
jack off in the bathroom if you hadn't. Hell, Little Girl –
You're just plain incredible the way you touch me."
"I did okay?" I smiled. "Well then, this means you'll have
to return the favor one of these days."
"I'm already hard just thinking about it, Little Girl", he said.
We went back to the couch, avoided the wet spot, and cuddled
for awhile. I knew it wouldn't be long before I'd be making
love to him.
Around my fourteenth birthday, give or take a week or two, I
told him I was ready, that I wanted to make love to him. He
asked if I was sure and I told him that I was, but that I
wanted it to be special. He said he thought he could figure
something out.
That Saturday he picked my brother and me up at our house to go
play pool in town as usual. I couldn't get one in the pocket
that afternoon to save my life. I was so nervous. I knew this
was going to be the day. I wasn't to be let down. After a few
games of pool, we went to pick up some movies for my brother
and some beer. They were, um, quite interesting movies judging
by the titles.
We got back to the house and he had me call Mom and tell her
I'd be late because we'd picked up some movies. I didn't tell
her what they were. Then Kevin settled my brother in front of
the TV with a six pack, and told me to come with him.
"You mean we're not going to stay and watch?" I asked.
"No, they'll corrupt you're mind. You're too young to watch
that stuff."
I punched him.
"Okay, if you must know, Little Girl", He said pulling me to
him so that his breath was hot against my neck, "I fully intend
to corrupt you all by myself."
Okay, well maybe that wasn't so bad after all. I giggled a
little and followed him to the barn. He quickly caught a
couple horses and saddled them, giving me the gentler of the
two. He made sure there were ropes to tie them up with and
tied a blanket behind his saddle. He told me he planned to
watch the sun set in the arms of the woman he loved.
I mounted my horse and followed him out of the yard. We rode
to a beautiful spot where we could tie our horses to some
trees, and walk up the hill to a place that overlooked a small
pond. It was an absolutely perfect June night. He spread the
blanket out on the ground and that's when I saw that he'd
brought a couple strawberry wine coolers along wrapped up
inside the blanket. This was the only alcohol he ever let me
have, and I figured he intended it to relax me a little.
Sitting on the blanket, sipping our drinks, with the sun
setting over the water, I was just about as relaxed as anyone
could be. The water was a mirror image of the sunset, the
orange, pink, and purple colors reflected across the surface.
I could hear bullfrogs croaking, crickets chirping, and other
sounds that the night was beginning. The night was definitely
beginning for me.
He reached over and took my drink from me, setting it a safe
distance away. He asked me if I was sure this is what I
wanted. I whispered yes, but he was already kissing me. I
kissed him back tenderly at first. We had all night, after
all. But as his tongue began to probe my mouth, I began to
respond. I kissed him back, tasting the inside of his mouth
with my tongue, flicking it just inside of his lips. I nibbled
on his ear, and left a trail of kisses down his neck before
coming back to kiss his lips for just an instant. Holding his
gaze with my eyes, I reached down and began to pull his shirt
over his head. Wrapping my hands around his bare back, pulling
him closer, I then pushed him down onto the blanket so that I
straddled him. Sitting on top of him, I kissed his neck again,
nibbling gently.
I was wearing a short, little, white shirt that showed a little
of my tanned stomach. His hands already up the back of my
little shirt, and he was just beginning to unsnap my bra while
I moved my lips down to his chest. He forgot all about my bra
for a second as I moved my tongue in slow circles around his
nipples. I never knew a man's nipples could be so sensitive,
but he just about died whenever I did that to him. He pulled
me down to him trembling and I left a trail of kisses down his
tummy, paying a little more attention to his belly button,
circling it with my tongue. Then I flicked my tongue under the
waist of his jeans, and he sucked in his tummy, wanting me to
feel how hard he was, wanting desperately for me to touch him,
to lick him.
Then he remembered my bra again, and quickly undoing it, he
rolled me onto my back, taking my shirt off at the same time.
He grabbed my breasts in his strong hands, kneading them for a
moment before taking one in his mouth. His lips were gentler
than his hands, but I wasn't sure which felt the best. I liked
his rough play because what I liked the most was to turn him
on, and I could tell by his touch that I had him going. Then
again, the feel of his tongue moving around my nipple was
almost too sweet of a pleasure to stand. I closed my eyes and
moaned a little. I could feel my pussy growing warm, and it
ached. It wanted so bad to be touched.
He began to tug on
the button of my jeans trying to take them off, and I helped
him out of his jeans as well. The feel of his naked skin
against my own was like nothing I'd ever felt before. A wave
of pleasure went through my body as he lay down beside me again
and began to probe inside of me with a finger. His finger slid
in so easy, I knew I must be dripping wet. I still wasn't
satisfied with being touched down there. I wanted more. I
didn't know if I could get enough of him even if I had all of
him. Then he spread my legs apart, burying his face in my
crotch. He licked on the outer edges of my pussy lips, pulling
one and then the other into his mouth and licking the smooth
inside. One of his hands was stroking the inside of my thigh,
and occasionally a finger would slip inside my pussy. Then he
stuck his tongue inside and I raised my hips to meet him,
wanting him to probe farther, to lick me harder, to make me
stop aching for more. Then he sucked my clit in to his mouth
and just kept sucking it in and back out. Oh, Jeez. I knew I
was grinding my pussy into his face and tried to stop. I
figured I was probably leaving fingernail marks on his
shoulders, but I couldn't stop that either. I couldn't really
do much of anything except tremble in his hands as he made me
feel like the whole world was spinning. I held on to him for
dear life as he made me come with an intensity I'd never found
on my own.
Then he held me still for a moment until I calmed down. I
realized that I wanted him inside me more than I wanted
anything else in the world right then. I wanted to show him
how much I loved him, and I wanted to make him feel like I had
just felt. I pulled him on top of me so that he was looking
down into my eyes. I knew he wasn't sure what he was doing was
right, that it was hard for him to make the first move, so I
pulled him down into me. Bringing my knees up and spreading my
legs, I tried to guide his dick into my pussy, but it wasn't
quite so easy. It was kind of big for me, I guess. I felt his
head go in a little and it was too tight. It hurt. I wanted
to stop, but I knew how bad he wanted this. So I closed my eyes
and pulled him down to me so he couldn't see by my face that it
hurt, and I pushed him farther in. He thrust into me, gaining
a little headway each time until pretty soon he was all the way
in. It hurt now, but the pressure made it kind of numb so I
could respond to him. At first we were a little awkward,
moving in the same direction instead of thrusting into each
other, but then we got the hang of it.
He started to tell me what it felt like to be inside of me. He
said it was tighter than he'd ever imagined that it felt like
my pussy was hungry, that it was sucking him into it. He said
it was the smoothest, softest, warmest, coziest place in the
world, and he never wanted to leave. Then I felt him grabbing
me a little harder and picking up the pace a little. He called
my name softly. Then he collapsed on top of me, just breathing
raggedly and telling me that he loved me.
After a few moments, he asked me if I was okay. I said that I
was a little sore and I think bleeding. He said that's okay, I
was supposed to. I wasn't sure I wanted to get up and try
walking any time soon, but he was content just to hold me and
run his fingers over my soft skin. Every now and then He'd
tell me that he loved me and he'd kiss me on the forehead or on
an eyelid or somewhere. He said he couldn't believe that a
little girl like me really wanted him, and I told him I
couldn't believe such a stud like him really wanted me. We
were really happy. By now the sun had gone all the way down
and the first stars were beginning to peek out into the night.
That's when I wondered if I could get pregnant. We hadn't used
any kind of protection, but I guess we weren't real worried
about it, because we kept doing it for the rest of the summer.
Then about the middle of September, I realized that missing two
visits from Aunt Flow and tossing cookies in the morning could
only mean one thing. I also knew the meaning of the term "Jail
Bait". He was twenty-three and I was barely fourteen. If my
dad found out, he'd press charges for statutory rape and Kevin
would go to jail. I knew what I had to do.
So, after my parents had long since been asleep one night
towards the end of September, I pulled the duffel bag out from
under my bed, put on my cowboy boots, and denim jacket, and
began one more trip across the pasture to Kevin's house.
Giving my house a long look from the last hill that I could see
it from, I knew I'd never be back, never see my family again.
I crossed the pastures quickly to his house and crawled in
through a window that I had squeezed through before. Old
farmhouses were never very secure. I quickly shed all of my
clothes and slid into the bed beside Kevin naked. Half-awake,
he asked me what I was doing in his bed naked at three in the
morning. I said that I didn't want to explain. I just wanted
him to hold me and make love to me. I bit back the words "one
last time". He pulled me under the covers with him and did as
I asked, holding me just a little longer than usual before he
finally drifted back to sleep with me in his arms.
I untangled myself and watched him for a moment, a silent tear
finding it's way down my cheek. I whispered "I love you" as I
left his house.
That was the last time I ever saw Kevin. I thought about
calling him when I turned eighteen, but I've heard he's moved
on and has a family of his own now. Still I wonder if he
thinks of me now and then. I wonder if he still loves me too.
THE END
Copyright July 1999 by Eighteen and Innocent
The author can be reached at: eighteen_a...@yahoo.com