Has anyone found a good story about Vladimir Putin?

[a425couple]

Has anyone found a good story about Vladimir Putin?
Well, they should!
A couple notes on ideas:

Somebody should write a story about Putin,
falling into the control of a Ukrainian
(Could be male / female / trans --) who has
no sense of humor about the current invasion.

We hear tell, he has a huge mansion and compound
in the Crimea (seized from Ukraine).
It could start with him ordering that nobody
disturb him and interrupt his planned sexual
encounter in his private suite, but his plans get hi-jacked
by his Ukrainian butler, or sexy housekeeper.
(For one idea, go to Google Images and try
Maid in movie Clue )

Among other things, they could give his testes
a 'pressure check' and he screams in pain as
they up the pressure on the testing device,,,,
until "POW" his nut bursts and gets crushed.

As Putin is retching, then barfing into his slipper,
he hears them praising.
That Vladimir was certainly a super stud.
He had the toughest balls we have ever cracked.
Although actually, "crack" is not a real accurate
description. It was more like "Splurish!"

They could praise him mightily, that he was indeed
a 'super masculine' because nobody before had ever
lasted to such high pressure. "Let's try the other ball"!!!!
Ohhh, Ahhhh, so good and high,,", "KAPOWzer"

Will he live long enough for the operation to
clear out the spoiling flesh in his sacks?