National Coming Out Day, October 11th, 2022

[Queer Senior]

It's here!

International Coming Out Day, the day to announce to your family, your loved ones, your friends, and the whole world that you are 🌈G🏳️‍🌈A🏳️‍🌈Y🌈!

Just shout it out: My name is (your name), I'M GAY!! And I'm not going to hide it anymore, and I'm proud to say it!

It took a lot of courage for me to finally announce it to the world, and it wasn't without serious consequences. But it was so worth getting it out in the open so I didn't have to hide it anymore, and I could finally be myself. Plus, having the hottest, most beautiful boyfriend ever made it even more worth it.

To celebrate International Coming Out Day, I thought I would share two coming out stories that I was involved in, one was when my boyfriend came out, and the other was when I F*I*N*A*L*L*Y came out. Unfortunately, while his story was one with a happy outcome, mine wasn't.

I knew I was Gay when I was 12 years old, as girls never interested me, but boys did. I developed several crushes throughout grade and high school, and I really had to keep my feelings in check, which almost turned tragic several times for me, especially in high school. I became very suicidal, as too many Gay teenaged boys do, and those several times, I found myself standing on a chair in my parent's basement with a noose around my neck. Four times, I did step off the stool to hang myself, but at the last minute, I somehow managed to get back onto the stool before I lost consciousness.

I didn't meet my first boyfriend until I was in college, 2-1/2-months before my 19th birthday. His name was Ashley, and he was the most physically beautiful guy I had ever laid my eyes on. He was 6-months older than I was, and it was literally love at first sight. We met on a Tuesday, September 4th, 1973, in of all places, the college bookstore! That next Saturday, September 8th, 1973, in his bedroom of all places, we surrendered our virginity to each other. I finally got to feel what it was like to feel another guy's rock-hard penis sliding in and out of my rectum! And I got to feel his semen squishing around in there too! And I got to feel what it was like to (gently) push my penis inside his rectum! In September of 1973! I'll say this too: When I came, I came so hard I was seeing stars and I almost passed out! The only downside of what we did was that we didn't wear condoms. We didn't think about it! After all, A.I.D.S. wasn't known then, and was still seven years off. We didn't wear condoms for the first two or three times we had sex together. We did start to wear them, as it made cleaning each other's semen out of our respective rectums a lot easier.

I have to admit, the one "issue" that developed rather quickly between us was the fact that we could not keep our hands off each other. And we were both equally guilty! Feeling up each other's behind, holding each other, caressing each other's necks and throats, and I loved to feel Ashley's legs. Ashley and I both tended to wear cut-off jean shorts that were on the really short side, although, back then, it wasn't all that unusual. In fact, that was the style for a lot of guys, especially with young Gay guys like me and Ashley, and several other Gay friends we had. Ashley's shorts tended to be a little shorter than mine were. Here's the difference, which will explain why I loved feeling up his legs: First, Ashley had THE MOST BEAUTIFUL legs, bar none! He even won a couple of contests with those legs! Second, Ashley shaved his legs, and had been doing so since he was 15 years old. And his legs were super-smooth! And sexy! And sensuous! Here's something else: Shortly after we started dating, Ashley got me to shave my legs. I loved the feeling of having smooth legs. Though I tried it a few times in college while we dated, once I was out of college in 1976 and had my own place in 1977, I shaved my legs my first night in my new apartment, and I've never had a strand of hair on them since! By the way, you want to talk about discreet, Ashley and I actually shared that apartment for four years! Someday, I'll tell you how we got away with it, as remember, this was the late 1970s, and Homophobia was excessively rampant, meaning both of us stood a good chance of being murdered.

The second issue, which again was no real issue, was that, whenever we had the opportunity, Ashley and I had sex together, hot anal sex. We did manage to do it at least once a week for most of our college years. There were several opportunities where my parents went away for a couple of weeks where Ashley and I got to spend entire nights together, uninterrupted and in privacy, where we would fuck each other multiple times! We did find out something, that our asses could only take maybe six penetrations in a ten-hour period! Yes, we kept track! I know that after college, and I got my apartment, we did it at least once nightly during the week, and two or three times a night when weekends rolled around. There were several occasions when I finally got that apartment that we did it do often, we both had trouble sitting down! Ah, the sweet memories of my youth! After all, being in love and making love makes anal sex pretty much mandatory!

Getting back to what I started to write about, for me, coming out of the closet and announcing to the world, well, at least to family and friends, was an adventure, especially considering I came out three times on three separate occasions. The first time occurred five weeks after we began our relationship, okay, our love affair (which lasted right up until July 15th, 1987, the day Ashley as killed in a car accident), on October 13th,1973, a Saturday. Ashley and I were supposed to be going out with four other Gay guys we met through the 'Queers Club' at the college. However, when I got to Ashley's house, those plans changed. Or at least, they got delayed. I was wearing my short cut-off jean shorts (and I do mean "short"), a black tee shirt and running shoes, my "typical" attire back then. Ashley's too! When I got to the door, Ashley came outside to meet me. He too wore short, cut-off jean shorts (and his were shorter than mine! Then again, he had much nicer looking legs than I had, so he warranted wearing the shortest cut-offs he could get away with.), a black tee shirt like I had on, but he didn't have shoes on. Anyway, when he came outside, he told me that his parents, his sister, her boyfriend, an Aunt and Uncle, and two cousins, of whom Ashley was close to, were there. That was when he hit me with what he wanted to do, he wanted to tell his family just how much "friends" we were. He wanted to come out and tell his family that he was Gay, and that he and I were not only friends, but we were also lovers. I asked him if he was sure he wanted to do that. He said he was! I said that it was okay with me, then I looked around to see if there was a guillotine set in the area. "Don't worry!", he said, "We won't get our heads cut off, at least not tonight!" (It's hard to explain, but this was a private joke between us!) Then, we embraced each other and kissed each other. I have to admit, it was scary, and I don't know who was scared the most, Ashley, or me. And I don't know why I was so scared. Ashley was the one coming out. I know Ashley was a little hesitant, but, as he told me before we went inside, he didn't want to keep hiding his sexuality or our relationship anymore.

Ashley took me by the hand. When we went inside, his family and relatives were all sitting in the living room. His mother greeted me. Then, Ashley stood there with me beside him. Yes, we were still holding hands. Ashley took a deep breath, then he said, Mom! Dad, Syl! (Sylvia was his sister) Everyone! I have something I need to tell you! You know that Kenny and I are friends." His sister said that they knew. "Well," Ashley said, "We're more than just friends. Kenny is my boyfriend! As in, I love him, and he loves me! And yes, we've been very intimate together! That was easier for Ashley to say than coming out and saying we were having sex together. Their reaction? Not what I expected, that was for sure! I can still remember to this day what His mother said, "Well, we knew that! I was just wondering how long it was going to take you to tell us!" Believe it or not, Ashley's family was very much okay with him being Gay. And they even accepted me and considered me to be another son, and brother. Wow!

I had written before that I had another non-family related coming out. It happened in college in March 1975, March 12th, 1975, to be exact. It happened at college during my Human Sexuality class, a class Ashley had taken the previous semester while I was out on my first Co-operative Education work term. Anyway, during the class on that particular day, one of the women in the class, there were eight women and five guys, brought up the subject of anal sex. When she brought it up, she said that she couldn't understand how two guys can have sex that involved one "shoving his penis" (her words) into another guy's rectum. But she did admit that she didn't know any Queer guys to ask. That was when I gathered up all my strength, and I came out and said, "Actually, you do!" I admitted to the class that I was Queer! To note, the teacher already knew, because he had Ashley in his class the previous semester, and Ashley and I met up after two of the classes. My coming out really created quite the discussion about Gay sex. We also talked about being open in public, which, back then, was still very much taboo. In a way, it's becoming more and more taboo as both Canada and the U.S. become more and more right-wing extremist. The discussion actually got extremely intimate.

That was when two major things happened. Two of the guys who were classmates in a business program said the whole idea of two guys "getting it on" bothered them. That was when the discussion took a very interesting turn. The women challenged the two of them to kiss each other. It even came with a monetary incentive. They all pulled out a ten-dollar bill, and said the money was theirs, and all they had to do was kiss each other, and not just a quick peck either. They had to put their mouths together and kiss for about twenty seconds, and they would be timed. Both were very hesitant, but finally, after being well prodded, they took the challenge. I won't dwell on what happened, but just let me say that the two discovered something about themselves: Them kissing each other woke them up to their true feelings and their true identity. By the way, they were both together for many years, until one of them died from cancer six years ago. Also, at our next class, they gave the women back their money!

The second incident involved me and a challenge from my classmates. I had commented that a straight couple could walk down the hall holding hands and they could even kiss, and nobody would care. If Ashley and I ever did that, we would be dragged outside and by killed. That was when they challenged me. They finally realized that cute guy I was meeting after class was, in fact, my boyfriend. That day, I had to walk out, and when I met Ashley, I had to embrace him and kiss him, right in that hallway! This while the rest of the class, except for those two guys, would leave before me so they could observe what happened. Then after that, we had to walk down the hall, all the way to the college cafeteria, and we had to hold hands the entire way. And once in the cafeteria, when we sat down, again, we had to kiss each other, in public. And yes, the halls were very crowded, as was the cafeteria. As my classmates all watched, or should I say, observed, I walked out and there was Ashley. I walked up to him, and I gave him a very passionate, and sensuous kiss. I loved that he clued in about why I did what I did! Next, we walked, holding hands, all the way to the cafeteria. Once there, we got coffees, then we sat down. Once we sat, we both leaned forward toward each other, and we kissed very passionately again. The observations? Nobody even noticed! Was there a bright side? You can bet there was! After that little challenge, and knowing nobody really cared, Ashley and I felt quite free to publicly express that we were, in fact, a couple. Well, within the confines of the school that is, and at this underground Gay bar at the university that we had open invitations to patronize!

My turn to come out to my family would not come until April 10th, 1977, which, ironically was Easter Sunday. I wanted so bad to come out shortly after Ashley came out to his family. The day I wanted to come out of the closet was November 24th of that year, just 5-weeks after Ashley came out to his family. November 24th, 1973 also happened to be my 19th birthday. Why was I so hesitant? My mother was a big-time Homophobe. And by that April, I had graduated from college 8-months before, and was already on my job. I also had my own apartment by the end of February of that year, an apartment that Ashley and I discreetly shared. So, on April 10th, 1977, I came out and announced to the world, well, it was to my family, that I was Gay. I remember standing there in front of everyone with Ashley. I took a deep breath, then, as Ashley held my hand, I said it! "Mom! Dad! I have something I need to tell you!" I took another deep breath, then I said it out loud, "I'm Queer! and Ashley is my boyfriend! And yes, we are in love!" I admit I was scared to death, as my family was Catholic. But at least Ashley held my hand as I announced that I was Queer. Then we kissed each other, right in front of my family. Unlike Ashley's family, it did not go over well. While my father really didn't care, my Aunt, Uncle and my cousins were thrilled and happy for me. Besides, two of my cousins already knew because they saw Ashley and I at a mall one evening, and it was adamantly clear we were more than just "friends". As for my mother, the devout Homophobic Catholic she was, was mortified. She wanted to have me beheaded! She wanted to have Ashley beheaded too! As for my Dad, he didn't care, so long as I was happy. It took a while, but after a lot of pressuring from my cousins, mom finally came around and accepted me for who and what I am. She was very reluctant, and still made it clear she didn't approve of my lifestyle, but she did accept me.

I never regretted coming out at all! It was a major burden lifted off my shoulders. Besides, sooner or later, Mom would have caught Ashley and I in a compromising position, so it was best I did come out when I did.

So, to all you wonderful. beautiful Gay people, gather up all your courage, take a deep breath, then scream it out!

​I'm Gay, and I'm proud of it!

Love to all of you!

🏳️‍🌈 sexygay...@gmail.com 🏳️‍🌈
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