Advice on Training
aka...@netcom.com
If he is totally against this to start, you can slowly break him into it
so to speak..if you forbid him to touch you with his hands or mouth, you
can make him cum and then take it onto your fingertips and spread it on
your breasts, nipples, or lips, and make him lick it off. if you have
tormented him long enough, he will ignore having to taste it to get to
your flesh.
also, you can show him that it isn't so bad by tasting it yourself,
lightly on your lips or from your fingertips, before making him take it.
then again, if you are intending to be cruel, you can stay away from
tasting it yourself and make him go right into it. a good harsh way to
introduce him to it is by making him ejaculate into a handkerchief or his
shorts then gagging him with it..this makes me very hot, but i dont think
i would be able to enjoy it if i knew he were *truly* miserable about it
(again, goes back to Lady Green's suggestion about negotiation).
keep us informed, either way!
I. Chris English
don't see any problems. As a form of control, I don't see any
problems.
Given the background you've described, however, I'd urge some very
gentle caution at least the first few times you try this. First, I
hear in your post what sounds something like it might be lingering
resentment or anger. Be aware of this as you make your choices around
it. Many people advise against playing with real resentment or anger.
I simply urge caution. I also urge caution when playing around known
lingering or represssed feelings. They sometimes have a way of coming
out with renewed strength. If you are aware of this possibility, then
you are much less likely to have any problems around it.
Second, if you husband repetitively "forgot" to alert you before he
came in your mouth, then he may have some repressed feelings around it
too. You will probably want to proceed slowly and carefully, paying
exquisite attention to his responses. You may even want to "threaten"
him with this verbally and gauge his responses that way before you
actually ask him to do it.
Third, and perhaps most importantly, have *fun* with it. Take it
slowly and *enjoy* it.
And I, for one, would like to hear how this works out for the each of
you. Thanks for asking.
Chris.
Ownerless in Chi
Cash <7176...@CompuServe.COM> wrote:
>I am training my husband to be my slave and had read something
>about Mistresses making their subs lick up their own ejaculate.
>Is this a common practice? I think it may be very effective on
>my husband, I don't think that is something he wants to do and
>yet I would get some satisfaction out of it since before he asked
>me to Dominate him full time he use to ejaculate in my mouth.
>I would tell him to tell me before he did it but he would say he
>forgot or something. I don't like the taste and it really
>aggravated me so now I'm thinking about making him swallow it his
>own ejaculate most any time I allow him to orgasm. I don't know
>if he will resist this and decide I've gone too far, but he did
>ask me to be the Mistress.
> The question in my mind is am I going too far? I hear him tell
>me he wants me to come up with new things to make him prove his
>service to me so I know he wants to take it seriously, I also
>know he will probably get grossed out if I make him do it,
>but I really want to make him do it too so that every time he
>bothers me about playing with him he can expect it is going to
>cost him after the passion has gone...like clean it up. He wears
>a rubber when we make love so I could make him clean that up too.
>But maybe I'm being too mean. What do you think?
Since this is not a hard limit and you like it, it is very important
that he do it. Speaking as a slave you should be doing the things
you like and his pleasure must spring from that.
He should not be bothering you about playing with him, you aren't
his servant. My advice is he should be wearing a chastity device
that prevents masturbation. When he earns your permission he
should be allowed to masturbate, but that is a thing he must
earn. Since you like him to eat his come, he should eat it. And
you shouldn't be having sex with your slave. If you do he should
wear a rubber so he can eat his come. And if you want him to keep
the taste, you can keep him in bondage overnight.
Its not always easy for a mistress to get pleasure from a slave.
If there is anything the mistress likes the slave should be doing
it unless it violates a hard limit. The slave should never be
allowed to think of the mistress as anything but the mistress.
Imagine that you had paid a lot of money for his unconditional
service for the night and you really want your moneys worth.
Mary Malmros
: I am training my husband to be my slave and had read something
: about Mistresses making their subs lick up their own ejaculate.
: Is this a common practice? I think it may be very effective on
: my husband, I don't think that is something he wants to do and
: yet I would get some satisfaction out of it since before he asked
: me to Dominate him full time he use to ejaculate in my mouth.
: I would tell him to tell me before he did it but he would say he
: forgot or something. I don't like the taste and it really
: aggravated me so now I'm thinking about making him swallow it his
: own ejaculate most any time I allow him to orgasm. I don't know
: if he will resist this and decide I've gone too far, but he did
: ask me to be the Mistress.
: The question in my mind is am I going too far? I hear him tell
: me he wants me to come up with new things to make him prove his
: service to me so I know he wants to take it seriously, I also
: know he will probably get grossed out if I make him do it,
: but I really want to make him do it too so that every time he
: bothers me about playing with him he can expect it is going to
: cost him after the passion has gone...like clean it up. He wears
: a rubber when we make love so I could make him clean that up too.
: But maybe I'm being too mean. What do you think?
I think that you need to consider what the act would mean to him, and what
it would mean to you, and never mind what it means to anyone else (ref.
your comment about other Mistresses doing this with their submissives).
What DOES it mean to you? Is it revenge? Is it payback? From what you
say above, it sounds like that may be part of your motivation. I'm not
one of those who believes that a top should never top under the influence
of so-called "negative" emotions, but it is powerful stuff. Revenge is
something customarily visited upon an enemy, not upon a partner with whom
you hope to have a lasting relationship...and so it seems to me that
there's a lot of potential for ending up somewhere that you don't want to
be.
Do you see the act as a punishment, for his demands that you play with
him? If so, I see a couple of problems with it. The first is that it
takes a part of sex and makes it "icky". It's nasty, it's bad, we're
going to punish you for having desires and what will we punish you with?
The nastiest thing we can think of: your own cum.
The second problem I see with it is that, as you've stated things, it
sounds like something you'd spring on him at the end of a scene when he'd
teased you to play and you'd reluctantly agreed. IMO, it's wrong to
punish a submissive for behavior that you have not said is inappropriate.
That kind of game just fucks with a submissive's head, in one way or
another: either they accept that they did something wrong, AND that they
should have known it was wrong -- which you pretty much have to do, in
order to believe that the punishment was just -- and they start to
question their own competence/self-worth/whatever; or they see the
punishment as unjust, and resent you for it; or they enjoy the punishment,
and deliberately misbehave to get more. There's damage done no matter
what the outcome: self-esteem, trust, and authority can all be eroded, bad
habits are reinforced, and good habits are discouraged.
Once you sort through some of your own feelings on the matter, think about
what it might mean to him. You said you think he'll be grossed out: think
a little beyond that. Is he the stoical sort who will take a "gross"
experience and shrug and bear it, if he can't get out of it? Or will it
genuinely revolt him? Will it make him feel ashamed? And -- whatever
feelings you think he'll have -- is that the feeling that you, as his
Mistress, want him to have coming out of the scene?
My $0.02,
:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::
Mary Malmros Very Small Being mal...@id.wing.net
Our current ideologies...use expert argument to turn almost any form of
injustice into an inevitability. This infection of the citizenry with
passivity is, in fact, what we used to call superstition. Whatever is
defined as true we feel obliged to accept as inevitable.
- John Ralston Saul
va...@uwyo.edu
hi
since your husband ask you to dominate him full time....then you
can not be too mean... as females we are always expected to swallow and
even expected to learn to like male semen...so therefore it will not
hurt him...one little bit...
here are a few suggestions...tie him up on his back with his feet over his
head and jack him off in his own face....also you can torture him telling
hime that if he cums he will have to lick it all up...and then
purposely make him come....
just a few doms chit-chatting.... :)
varia
Bryce
>Cash (7176...@CompuServe.COM) wrote:
<<SNIP of a post sent by Mary>>
Sorry Mary - you must have missed it. This SAME ID sent a message saying he was
a slave in search of a Mistress. The date/time was EXTREMELY close as well.
It seems to be an emotional vampire/letter freak.
--
I wonder whose "kill" files I'm in? I keep asking, but those
that have me there won't tell me!
Bond....
> In article <3kdh0m$6t5$3...@mhade.production.compuserve.com>, Cash <7176...@CompuServe.COM> writes:
> hi
> since your husband ask you to dominate him full time....then you
> can not be too mean... as females we are always expected to swallow and
> even expected to learn to like male semen...so therefore it will not
> hurt him...one little bit...
Alright, I can't take it anymore. I've got to stand up and be counted.
I have never, ever asked a lover to accept my cum in her mouth. Moreover,
none has ever shown any interest. Call me normal, call me staid, but
I'm too nice to do this to someone I love, and I hope there are others
out there like me.
> here are a few suggestions...tie him up on his back with his feet over his
> head and jack him off in his own face....also you can torture him telling
> hime that if he cums he will have to lick it all up...and then
> purposely make him come....
> just a few doms chit-chatting.... :)
It doesn't mean I'd refuse to swallow my own.
Bond...:
who is hopingfor this very treatment someday.
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Ms. Margo
: In <3kl9dt$4...@news1.WING.NET> mal...@id.wing.net (Mary Malmros) writes:
: >Cash (7176...@CompuServe.COM) wrote:
: <<SNIP of a post sent by Mary>>
: Sorry Mary - you must have missed it. This SAME ID sent a message saying
: he was a slave in search of a Mistress. The date/time was EXTREMELY close
: as well.
: It seems to be an emotional vampire/letter freak.
Still, I thought Mary's response was excellent advice...even for us "old
folk". :)
--
ma...@netcom.com
Please don't send wanna's, as I'm having a hell of a time with the men
that I have.
Jay Doubleyou
: Still, I thought Mary's response was excellent advice...even for us "old
: folk". :)
Sure was.
-JW
--
j...@netcom.com * juu on IRC (#femdom) * Exclusive property of Mistress N
"Domination. Not just pain -- pain is sometimes the least part of it.
What it is really, is reversal. A kick over the traces of the usual
sexual roles, so that the woman becomes unchallengeable, supreme."
-Susan Shellogg / Mistress Sonya from her book, _Unnatural Acts_
Thom
I wonder if she wouldn't mind giving us all some feedback on how things
are going?
thom
Jay Doubleyou (j...@netcom.com) wrote:
: Ms. Margo (ma...@netcom.com) wrote in response to Bryce:
Tunis 230
"What DOES it mean to you? Is it revenge? Is it payback? From what
you say above, it sounds like that may be part of your
not upon a partner with whom you hope to have a lasting relationship...
him? If so, I see a couple of problems with it. The first is that it
takes a part of sex and makes it "icky". It's nasty, it's bad, we're
going to punish you for having desires and what will we punish you with?
The nastiest thing we can think of: your own cum.
"The second problem I see with it is that, as you've stated things, it
sounds like something you'd spring on him at the end of a scene when he'd
teased you to play and you'd reluctantly agreed. IMO, it's wrong to
punish a submissive for behavior that you have not said is inappropriate.
and authority can all be eroded, bad habits are reinforced, and good
habits are discouraged."
I find your comments and observations quite thought provoking. I just
wonder somewhat ....... At least for me, part of the attraction of D/s
behavior no doubt is linked, whether consciously or subconsciously, to
underlying conflicts, historical "hurts," insecurities, "forbidden"
desires, coming of age in the 1950's when so many aspects of sex were
"dirty," and more. D/s, for me and in my view, is not simply some nice,
sweet, loving alternative to so-called "vanilla" sex or lifestyles. So,
while safety is central (and I "love" Lady Green for constantly bringing
all back to "reality" on that score), and personal insight is always
valuable (knowing why you do what you do), I think that efforts to avoid
conduct that might be motivated by or have as one effect (whether intended
or otherwise, whether primary or otherwise) elements of "revenge," caprice
(isn't that possibly part of the enticement of submitting to a domme? Not
the Bill of Rights, with all rights carefully noted and subs entitled to
right to jury and their own counsel), the forbidden nature of certain
acts, underlying associations of sex with "wrong" or "bad" behavior, are
arguably self defeating.
just another person's $0.02! And perhaps even worth less than that!
~~Tunis