Shoggoth Makes Three - Jean Ann Donnel
How the hell did he get talked into this?
Dysfunctional Relationship encounter groups, how
the hell did he get to this? There was nothing
wrong with his relationship with Fi Fi, damn it!
Professor Cantraip taught the Dark Arts at Miskatonic
U. As a professor of the Dark Arts, people expected
you to be a bit odd. Professor Cantraip didn't
care what they expected.
He'd had more then a few relationships with women
that had gone nowhere save friendship, after the
passion had cooled. Being tall, slender, with
fine artistic features, as more then a few women
had said of him, he had never lacked female
companionship. He had many fine female friends
that were now in the nonsexual stage. Others that
remained in that sexy every now and then stage.
He had loved, but it was the love of friends.
Friendship be it with a man or woman can be a very
deep type of love. The love of family, the love of
his career. But no love that was that SPECIAL type.
No happy ever after man/woman love. Then He'd met
Fi Fi was the BEST!!! Just sex alone with Fi Fi was
like nothing he'd ever had before. Cantraip's cock
grew hard just thinking about it. The total footage
of Fi Fi, the moving form, the appendages that appeared,
disappeared and made sex a true adventure. But Fi Fi
had a sweet personality, a good mind, (somewhere in Fi Fi's
form) and a love of life. Cantraip had no need of a
conventional bed with Fi Fi. Fi Fi's vagina was like no
mortal woman's. The texture's of Fi Fi's vagina,
changing with fur, with feathers, with lips sucking
him dry then cuddling him inside like a pea in a pod.
He'd tried to tell a friend. A fellow of the dark arts.
She'd looked at him as if he were a disease. How could
she? He thought she would understand! She had
laughed thinking it a joke. That's the Harvard
Dept. of Dark Arts for you he thought. He had been her
teacher, her professor. They'd had an affair, she was
a CLOSE friend, nonsexual now but CLOSE! She DIDN'T
understand! None the less he decided to go if for no
other reason then to prove her wrong. Fi Fi of course
hadn't come. Fi Fi didn't think THEY would understand.
Fi Fi had told him they would not see through the eyes
of love the way professor Cantraip did.
"Professor Cantraip," said the moderator. "Did you want
to tell us about your relationship and the problems your
Professor Cantraip looked at him with daggers in his eyes.
"It's NOT Fi Fi and I that are having problems. It's those
around us who cannot accept our relationship," he
"Well, tell us about it then Professor," the moderator
"I'm new here and would rather listen to others first,"
The Moderator acknowledged this with a nod of his head and
turned to Ms. Peaches. "Ms. Peaches," he said. "Would you
like to start?"
Ms. Peaches was the head of the Miskatonic Library. She
was of average height, light peachy skin, had light
brown hair, light green eyes, not badly endowed,
not overly so, and with puffy pink lips. She looked
at the moderator of the group, then at Professor
"Fi Fi is your lover's name as well," she inquired?
Cantraip looked at her startled, could it be?
"Your not a lesbian are you Ms. Peaches," the moderator
asked arching an eyebrow?
"That would explain your being in a dysfunctional
relationship group," he stated.
Ms. Peaches starred at him steadily with contempt
in her eyes. "I'm quite straight, Fi Fi's NOT
exactly a women, and definitely has male members,"
Peaches had tried to explain her relationship with Fi Fi
to a friend. The friend had almost vomited, suggesting
that peaches go to this dysfunctional relationship group.
She didn't understand, no one but Fi Fi understood. She
had wanted Fi Fi to come with her, but Fi Fi had said
none of them would have understood.
Peaches vagina grew moist as she remembered meeting
Fi Fi. The strange flowing gelatinous form, the
shapes that formed, collapsed and reformed. Fi Fi
had formed a speaking apparatus, reciting poetry.
The appendages had stroked Ms. Peaches body gently
speaking sweet sonnets. Sex for hour upon hour, male
members that formed in every shape, with tentacles,
with feathers, with fur. Peaches shivered at the joy,
at the pleasure no mere mortal man could produce in
a woman. Fi Fi's kindness, Fi Fi's tales of far away
Leng in Antarctica. Fi Fi enveloping her as a blanket
might cover her or a cocoon envelope a developing butterfly.
Male members, not EXACTLY a woman thought Professor
Cantraip. She IS having an affair with Fi FI,
with HIS Fi Fi! "You BITCH," he screamed. "You are
having an affair with MY Fi Fi."
"Your Fi Fi," she screamed back, "He's MY lover!"
The other members of the group were starring at both
Peaches and Cantraip with confusement.
"No, Fi Fi is my woman," screamed Cantraip as he started
tracing an incandescent line in the air.
The other group members screamed ducking for cover. A
female voice was heard to utter, "this makes my
relationship with Cernunos seem tame."
"I know," said a male voice. "My affair with a ghoul is
nothing to this."
"OOOOO," said a disgusted chorus of other group members,
The moderator was trying to get him to stop, "Professor
Cantraip, casting spells at other group members is NOT the
way to handle the situation."
Professor Cantraip ignored this, tossing off a spell
"Your not going to attract anyone in toad form bitch,"
he promised. Peaches ducked the spell.
A mouse jumped away croaking as it turned to a toad.
Peaches apparently had some spellcraft of her own. She
pointed her index finger at Cantraip, motioned and a
beam of light spewed fourth. Plop, a cream pie landed
on Cantraip's head as Peaches did a imitation of the
three stooges laugh.
"The three stooges, the three stooges," yelled Cantraip!
"What type of woman imitates the three stooges and casts
pie spells," he screamed spitting pie out at her.
"What type of sorcerer still does toad spells," she quipped
"Stop it, Stop it," a strange inhuman voice like the call
of many birds said. They turned to see Fi Fi.
A seething, throbbing mass of multi colored protoplasm
oozed into the groups room. Easily towering over 7 feet
in height with ever flowing appendages forming, ceasing
To exist, and reforming anew. There was no way to truly
sense how wide it might actually be. It seemed that
standing still without constant expansion and contraction
was not among it's attributes. It had formed a mouth with
a larynx to speak to Ms. Peaches and Professor Cantraip.
This was Fi Fi the Shoggoth!
"Stop it, Stop it," Fi Fi said with a voice like
screeching eagles and migrating ducks combined.
"I love you both," said Fi Fi turning a sickly green pallor.
Fi Fi formed large ropy, sticky, icky things which
wrapped around both Ms. Peaches and Professor Cantraip.
Pulling them towards the main mass of Shivering protoplasm,
they were then sucked inside the Shuggoth. It then
flowed as a liquid out of the room leaving slime upon
The group was silent with horror. "Ah, well that's it
for this meeting. Let's meet next week shall we," said
the groups moderator. The groups other members fled the
room, not bothering to comment or look back.
Back at Professor Cantraip's house, he, Ms. Peaches and
Fi Fi had finished the most wonderful sex any of them
had ever experienced. Professor Cantraip had sex
with Ms. Peaches and at the same time Fi Fi. Ms.
Peaches and Professor Cantraip now clung to one another,
legs entwined, still joined into one another. Fi Fi
had parts entwined and in both of them, and was now
covering them protectively. They slept in Fi Fi, and
Fi Fi in them, as well as in one another. They were
NOT going back to the dysfunctional relationship
group. The three of them felt their relationship was
absolutely perfect just as it was.
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